A Burning Desire

Looking back on the day we left the hospital I can't help to have mixed emotions still. As I move into adulthood I'm finding that I'm not that stuff girl I thought I was. I'm moving past bondage pants and heavy eye liner that only melts down your eyes during the day, don't get me wrong I still do wear eye liner and do dress just as dark as I used to it's just I find myself moving past them, growing up.

Gerard took me home and kissed me again in my room. I'm sure it might have gone past that but Marcy and my Uncle were home. Me lifted me right off the floor so that he was in between my legs and carried me to my bed then pulled away.

"Don't do anything rash while I'm gone Angel," he whispered and put a hand to my face.

"As long as you don't go running off," I replied, my heart must have been beating as fast as a humming birds wings, if not then faster.

Gerard and I had come up with an idea we thought that would be able to take me to Europe with him and the guys and still not make anything seem suspicious. Uncle Steve wants me to go to college, and what better than to study than in Europe?

At dinner I brought up our plan.

"So, what would you say if I told you I want to study in Europe?" I said twisting the noodles onto my fork.

"Well, do you know what school?" Marcy asked before my Uncle could get a word out of his mouth.

"I was thinking of well, like homeschooling at the same time. Like have a bunch of work then turn it in for credit," I looked up at My Uncle now who was chewing his found and starring at Marcy.

"Do they do that?" he asked.

"I'm thinking it depends on what school has what programs," I replied. Uncle Steve and Marcy nodded in understatement.

"I'm guessing you would like to tour with the guys really?" My uncle said and smiled.

"And go to school!" I said trying not to make it seem so obvious.

"Well, you remember how it was like. Do you think you can keep up with all the work if you do?" Marcy asked.

"Yes!" I said quickly.

"I don't know Roxy,' My Uncle said. 'It was an emotional roller coaster for you last time. I can't be just throwing my money away for your education. I promised your mother I would take care of you."

I nodded. They would talk it over and I would be in my room, ear pressed up against the door as my heart pounded deeply. I could feel my own chest vibrate with each beat. I could only hear them murmuring to each other. I need a dog's hearing.

***

A week had passed and they hadn't even mentioned their decision yet. I was now scarred they were not going to let me go. This is just my luck. Gerard has finally agreed to try a secret relationship and now we might be separated for about two years or more. My heart sank at just the thought.

Gerard would use any excuse to come see me. Some were even pretty half witted but it's okay, I loved to see him.

"What did they say?" he asked me one day as he sat on my bed, leaning back.

"Nothing," I replied.

"Nothing what so ever?"

"Nothing what so ever."

He walked up and put his arms around my hips making a chill run up and down my spine. I looked down out of my window as people passed by. The window seemed to move away from me, but it was really Gerard pulling me back towards the bed with him. I smiled as he replaced his hands on my waist and made me sit on his lap, his head resting on my shoulder.

"They'll let me go, they have to," I said softly.

"Don't give it away though," he said as he began to kiss my neck down to my shoulder his warm breath made me crane my neck as so He could cover more area on it.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I said sarcastically. I honestly don't see why he's keeping this all a secret, I can handle anything the world can throw at me now.

"Roxy," he growled into my ear, his warning tone.

"I like it when you do that," I teased, putting my hand behind his head, losing it in his black hair.

"Oh really?" he asked in the same tone then fell back, taking me with him.

"Gerard, not now!" I giggled as his hands slipped up my shirt only to my tummy because my own hands stopped him.

"Why not?" he whispered into my ear.

"Marcy and Steve said they would be back in about a half hour, it's been ten minutes already." I replied trying to get up but his hands stayed firm on me.

"That gives us plenty of time,"he said.

"My gosh," I said and just stood up to quickly to regripp his hands on me. He sat up and tilted his head like a confused dog.

"We'll find a way." he said and put his arms around me, this time pulling me into a hug, he was very touchy feely since he admitted to loving me.

"Found one," I said softly and looked up at him.

"Ha ha," he said sarcastically.