A Burning Desire

"You?" he asked. I was expecting him to maybe go ballistic and was going to have to tackle him to the floor but he only nodded his head and continue to play with his hands.

"So it's true then?" he finally sighed out. My heart was beating quickly and I got that feeling you get in your feet when you know something bad is about to happen.

"The magazines and everything."

"Well I've only read so much, what have you heard?" I asked him.

"That you and her have maybe been going on since you both met, that Laura was a cover up, that you and her are secretly engaged." I looked down at my ring hand.

" 'The fuck? I haven't worn a ring since Laura and I called off the wedding," I said rubbing my ring finger in confusion.

"Rumors fly man," he replied. Well that's true.

"So, why am I here then, I mean on tour? Did Roxy ask for me to come?" he asked, the obvious flicker of hope in his eyes. I think I should soften the truth for him.

"Uh, partly. To be honest, we want you to be a cover up," I admitted. I cringed as he did. I felt bad for him, poor kid, he really did like Roxy. This really was no fair to him and I can't stop him if he wants to get off this bus and just go home.

"Alright," he says totally catching me off guard.

"Huh?" I ask almost in disbelief.

"So since I'm a cover up, I have to do normal boyfriend, girlfriend things with Roxy," he says as he smiles. This, kid, is, good. Too good...now I don't like it.

"Don't get carried away now," I warned him.

"Fine, you can just explain to her uncle how your only hope of saving this band walked out because of you and your big mouth," he retorted. I glared at him.

"Just remember who she sleeps with at night kid," I said kid as if it was the dirtiest word I could think of. He only smile the opened the door.

Everyone had broken out the cards and was now playing Texas Hold 'Em. In the pile was a few bucks, lose change, a pack of mints, a cigarette pack, half full, a soda, a candy bar, a shirt and a hair pin. Everyone's face was serious when they laid out the cars.

"Read em' and weep ladies and Roxy," Mikey said as he laid his hand down onto the table.

"Damn," Roxy said slapping her hand down.

"Not this time buddy!" Bob said as he slammed his hand down, wow a royal flush.

"Shit," Mikey muttered as he got his hand away from the pot. Bob stood up taking all the stuff to him. He began to stack the loose change when Roxy looked up at me, I smiled.

"Have a nice talk?" she asked.

"Yeah," Sean asked before I could open my mouth. He pulled a seat next to her.

ROXY'S P.O.V

He sat down next to me and I glanced up at Gerard. He rolled his eyes and walked over to the couch. Something tells me they made a deal instead of talk.

"So you guys," Gerard said laying down on the couch. We all turned to look at him.

"So this kid has one thing less to black mail me with, I need to tell you something," Gerard said. My heart began to pump faster and I squinted my eyes at him in confusion. I gave him a 'Are-you-going-to-tell-them-what-I-thought-you-should-tell-them-in-the-first-place?' look. He slowly nodded his head and now I was the nervous one.

Gerard's expression was laid back as if he was just going to tell us how his day is going so far. "Frank and Mikey you already know, Bob and Ray, there's something you should know," he said. I got up and walked over to Gerard.

"There's something we BOTH need to tell you," I said turning to look at a confused Bob and Ray.

"The rumors are true," Gerard said and put a hand on mine.

"We're breaking up!?!" Ray said a shocked expression on his face.

"No! Not that you loser!" Gerard said and smiled quickly but disappeared as he remembered what he was talking about.

"The rumors about me and Gerard," I said and looked down at Gerard, putting full trust into his decision.

"You're together, as in, that WAS her bra in your room?" Bob asked.

"Yeah," Gerard said and looked at the floor as he squeezed my hand a bit harder, I did it back in return.

"Wait wait wait," he said and dropped the cards onto the floor.

"You're serious dog?" Ray asked.

"If I wasn't don't you think I'd be laughing by now?" he asked. I tapped his shoulder, trying to get him to lower his sarcastic level.

"How long has it been going for then?" Bob asked ignoring Gerard's response.

"Since I first told you about what Jack did to me.." I said but railed off with the memories of that night. I wanted to take them all and throw them into a shoe box and light that box on fire.

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Ray asked.

"We were scarred," Gerard admitted. You were scared Gerard, well for me. But I wasn't scared, with you at my side, I'm not scared of anything. With you gone...I'm completely out of my element.

"You have to understand," I pleaded. I starred up at Ray and bob's faces, the tension so think in the room, I could taste it. No wait, that's just the pop-tarts I had for breakfast. Ray finally looked up at us and I leaned my head on Gerard's and he put his warm hand on my face. Sean was looking away, ignoring the whole scene as if we weren't really there. Well it's better he know than to be lied to. This makes it easier for everyone, I hope.

"I do," Ray said looking over to Bob.

"The age difference though," Bob said looking at me. I blushed but kept my face on Gerard's head.

"We got over it," Gerard shrugged.

"At least I'm not 86 and her thirty-something like Ana Nicole Smith," he said. Bob laughed, making everyone else laugh. Even I did.

"True," he said and smiled.

"Have you told Steve?" Ray asked. Everyone except Bob Ray and Sean shook their heads no.

"We're gonna keep it on the down low for a little while longer," I said. Bob nodded in understatement.

***
By the time we got to the hotel everyone was back to normal, laughing and joking around. I was trying my best to watch t.v though this stupid thing only picked up Spanish soap operas that were black and white because of the crappy reception. Apparently someone didn't tie down the t.v when they were touring when I was just finishing school.

I blame Ray.

When the bus came to a stop we all took time to change. I just quickly threw on a cleaner pair of jeans and ran the brush through my hair while Mikey turned on the straightener and tried his best to do his hair in a hurry. Though because we had no gel and it was pretty greasy, he could only have it down much like in the days they first started out. I was holding Gerard's hand as we filed to the door but he dropped my hand.

I felt another hand wrap around it and looked over to see Sean smiling at me.

"Let's make your uncle happy," he said. I didn't detect any sarcasm in his voice so I didn't pull my hand away. I guess holding his hand for a few minutes wouldn't hurt. That and it would give the media something else to focus on for a while.

We came out just after Mikey did. Sean pulled me closer, as if trying to cover me from the flashing cameras and screaming fans. I usually don't do much for the fans, most of them are here for the guys. If anything two or three people will ask me for my autograph but that's about it. Sean smelt good, but different from what I'm used to. He didn't smell like mint, a hint of cologne and cigarettes like the comforting scent of Gerard.

He smelt like a normal teen aged boy my age. Nothing special but he didn't smell bad. I could smell a hint of 'Tag' body spray and that was about it. When we got inside of the hotel I let my grasp on his hand go, but he held on. The boys came in shortly afterwords smiling and looking away. Gerard looked up at the grander hotel than the last. It had an open ceiling made of glass. Pigeons sat on it.

Though he was wearing sunglasses I could feel his stare on my hand that was being held by Sean. He laughed and joked with the rest of us but something was off. This bugged him and it bugged me. The faster we come out about this whole situation the faster everything gets better.

Finally I made the excuse I had to use the bathroom so Sean would drop his hand from mine. If he didn't...that would bug and creep me out.