A Burning Desire

As I was going through asking people to turn on each section of lights I had to write yes or no on these little pink boxes on the paper. I was glad we got in with out people suspecting anything. As I was reading what next I had to do on the clip board I was mindlessly just waking around. I smacked into someone and they dropped a bunch of boxes.

"Shit," he said with his English accent that really wasn't as thick as most other people around here.

"I'm so sorry!" I said and bent down to help pick up the boxes.

"It's alright," he said. I looked up to see a guy with dark brown hair, darker that Sophie's looking into my eyes. He had soft brown eyes but they were nothing compared to Gerard's hazel eyes. He smiled at me then got up and began to re-stack the boxes.

"Here," I said and picked up two of the heavy boxes.

"Thanks," he said and took them with ease. He had brown gloves on and his sleeves were rolled up.

"Aren't you that Roxy girl?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said and stuck out my hand.

"I'm Sean," he said and shook it gently.

"You don't have a very thick accent like everyone else out here," I said.

"That's because mi dad's a pilot, we go every where mostly Ireland though, my accent I guess you can say is a mix of English Irish," he said and smiled.

"You though, very thick American accent,"he said.

"I haven't been out of the States, this is my first time," I replied.

"That would explain it," he said putting the boxes onto a table.

"Well I have work to do," I said beginning to walk away.

"I'll see you around Roxy," he said. I smiled at him and continued to walk away, what a nice guy.

Soon it was getting around the time where they were gonna start letting people in. The guys were backstage stretching and getting ready. I had to walk on stage with the rest of the crew how ever and make sure everything was there. I had a few of the crew play the guitars to make sure they were tuned and I had to look at all the wiring. The entire time I did I could hear people yell my name.

Once I had everything done. I looked to the crowd, bowed and waved. They clapped though I have no idea why, all I did was check everything over. A few people had their hands out so I decided to hop off the stage to the little walk way where security would walk and reach out and tough their hands.

many of them leaned over and did so. I hopped back on stage left back stage. I knocked on the guys' dressing room.

"Come in!" Bob said.

Mikey was stretching his legs and so was Gerard while Frank was stretching his arms and Ray was going over a few chords.

"You're all set," I said and smiled.

"Great, so now we have what another half hour?" Frank said and laughed.

"Nervous?" I asked and sat down on a chair.

"Yes," Ray said.

"After so many tours and over a million shows you still get nervous?" I asked.

"It'll never go away, I still have nightmares about me going out in tights," Gerard said mentioning to him playing Peter Pan in his middle school play.

"Me too," Mikey said. We all started cracking up. Gerard smacked his brother playfully.

"C'mon children," I said.

We sat around joking and talking when we heard a knock on the door.

"Come in!" Ray yelled this time.

"Ten minutes 'till show gentlemen," said Sean removing his tan gloves.

"Thanks!" Frank said and waved to him. Sean looked down at me and smiled then nodded towards them and left.

"I wonder who that was," Ray said getting up and cracking his knuckles.

"Oh that's Sean," I said.

"You know him?" Bob asked.

"Oh yeah after almost running him over, I think he's a fan, he knew my name," I said.

***
I hid behind the blue curtains watching the play, I was really close to Frank, from time to time he would smile at me or ask me to throw him a water bottle. He would take a sip then throw it to the crowd that or hand it to people who were about to faint.

When they stopped playing Gerard would usually talk to the crowd, this was his first show since he called off the wedding. I wondered if he was going to tell the fans anything. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned expecting to see my uncle but instead saw Sean. He wore a pair of jeans and slightly sagged them they weren't skinny jeans and they were held up by a studded belt. He had a black button up shirt with the first few buttons undone, revealing a white wife beater.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go some place, I'm off now," he said.

"Oh I can't," I said.

"Oh, you have a boy then I see?" he said.

"Ye-' but I cut myself off, what was I going to say, oh yes I do in fact he's singing right now! No, I can't say that.

'Yes, I do," I said.

"Oh," he said and took his hand off my shoulder.

"So where is this boy of yours?" he asked.

"Uh, back in the States," I said.

"So how long exactly will you be out here in England?" he asked.

"Um just two weeks, I'm touring with these guys, my uncle's their manager," I said.

"Oh, so that's why people were talking about you outside," he said.

Before we could say anything else the music started up again and I couldn't hear a word he was saying. I looked back out to the crowd and watched as Frank started head banging with Mikey. They were doing "Famous Last Words" now.

***
At the end of the show they decided to go sign some autographs outside, turns out the paparazzi was out there as well. I went out there with them to make sure they got back inside on time. I stood leaning against a tree next to them and sign papers and photos and binders that were being shoved at me as well.

"Is it true you had an abusive boyfriend?" a girl asked.

"What? Where did you find that out?" I wondered how news abut Jack had gotten all the way out here.

"I heard it on the internet," she said. A bunch of kids started asking that too, I thought I might as well tell them.

"Yes, it's true, I have a scar right under my rib cage because of him," I said.

"Can we see it?" a boy asked.

"Sorry but that's all my Uncle needs to see, me lifting up my shirt," I said and smiled as someone took my picture.

I looked over at Gerard as a reporter was standing just outside the gate and pressing the microphone through the bars to him, he took it and the reporter began asking questions.

"So Gerard is it true your marriage has come to an end?" she asked.

"Well, we never quite got married so technically no but we are broken up," he said. I wondered what he was going to say to the question she was probably going to say next.

"Well, is there a reason for this break up?" she asked. Well I thought she was going to ask if he had a new girlfriend. I signed another binder that was given to me.

"Yes, but I don't feel quite comfortable with saying why, because of Laura's feelings and mine," he said.

"But is there another reason? Maybe a new girl?" she asked. I held my breath as I scribbled my name on a photo of me from a magazine. He pursed his lips like he always does when he thinks.

"Yes, it's Frank," he said and pulled Frank over to him by the waist. I laughed, so did everyone else.

"No but in all seriousness, there is not another girl," he said. A sinking feeling hit my stomach. Just hearing him say that brought all the hurt feelings from just a few months ago. But I knew that as soon as we got back inside he would make it up...if no one was looking.

God I hate that fact. We can only be in love when no one's looking