Ohioisonfire

Alan's P.O.V

“You’re sure you don’t want to talk about?” I took a deep breath before exhaling the smoke that was chambered far past my lips, Austin coughed as he too took a drag of his cigarette. He shook his head no as he continued to wheeze, desperately trying to regain his normal breathing pattern. I bit my lip as I watched him, feeling a bit guilty, I was the one who gave him the smoke, telling him it would help him calm down; but it seemed to be doing the exact opposite.

“God, Alan, I don’t see how you do this…” Austin laughed a little as a small smile returned to his lips, in turn, I smiled back and shrugged.

“An addictions an addiction, I guess. It doesn’t bother me though, what bothers me is not having one.” I said with a smug grin and a nudge in his side, he chuckled as he dropped the still lit cigarette to the ground before putting it out with his foot.

“Guess so, I have an addiction to you know.” He admits with a cocky grin, his eyes are still puffy and red but I don’t dare bring it up.

“Oh, really?” I question as I lean back against the cool glass of our workplace, which was slowly but surely becoming dead as the day dragged on. Austin hummed, shooting me a serious look,

“Ramen Noodles may or may not be my weakness. Don’t tell anyone though, I don’t know how people would feel if they knew I was eating it.” He winked at me, his serious look slowly crumbling as I dropped my smoke to the ground and held my sides while I laughed. Austin eventually caved in, laughing so hard he began to snort; which only caused me to laugh harder.

“Oh, Alan, thank you for the laugh; I really needed that.” Austin admitted with a wide grin, I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Not a problem, I think I needed it too, life has been a bit weird lately.” I replied automatically, I certainly wouldn’t mention or go in depth about what was so weird about my life, that was something I should keep to myself, I reasoned. The mysterious A had all but consumed my thoughts, though. While I didn’t who it was behind the letters, I felt sort of connected to them; albeit, obligated to grant their wish of privacy until they felt comfortable enough to unmask themselves.

“Tell me about it; I'm thoroughly convinced that I've lost my mind, Alan.” Austin laughed like it was some kind of joke, but I couldn’t sense that his statement held a serious undertone, I opened my mouth to ask what he meant but was cut off by the door swinging open, promptly hitting me.

“Fuck,” I grumbled as Tino emerged from behind the glass, a smug grin tucked in on his lips; Austin bit his lip but a small chuckle still found its way out, oh, if looks could kill.

“Jeesh, sorry Alan, didn’t see you there. He’s like a ghost, ain’t he?” Tino’s thumb stuck up in my direction as he faced Austin, blood rushed to my face as the pair laughed hysterically at my expense.

“Oh, c’mon, you know that it was funny.” Austin offered as he wiped tears away from his eyes, and took a few steps forward; placing a hand on my shoulder. It gently brushed it off and hummed before retreating back into the diner. I made my way to the bathroom and locked the door, allowing myself to rest against the cool steel. I don’t know why that had bothered me so much, the pranks and jokes were usually directed at me and I was quick to brush them off but for some reason, that had taken me be surprise. Perhaps it was because Tino knew it was all in good fun and Austin…he had actually thought making fun of me was funny. I didn’t know how to react, honestly, I had never been in a situation like that before. As a teenager I likely would have cried, but I knew as an adult that wouldn’t do anything; so leaving the situation was the best option available. Irritated, and slightly upset, I slid to the floor and wrestled a sliver of paper from my wallet, a letter from A.

Dear AAA,

Hi love, hope all is well C:
I wanted to take a break from the usual banter and just write something nice for you. You say you’re alone a lot, and I don’t really get that. Frankly, you’re amazing, and I take it you don’t hear that enough so…there ya go (:

I hope this doesn’t seem stupid but I really wish I was brave enough to approach you. Not like I follow you around or anything, sorry that sounded so…stalkerish. Hahahaha :P

Sadly, I have to keep this short, it’s about time I get to work D:

As always, keep smiling beautiful.

Until next time,
-A

I sighed as I folded it back up and stuck it back into my wallet, I loved the fact that someone cared about me, but I loathed the fact that they were too ‘nervous’ to step up and show themselves. More like embarrassed, I concluded as I caught sight of myself in the mirror. My reflection looked more and more worn down every time I saw it, I looked more worn down. Forcing myself to look into my eyes I recited the same lines over and over again in my head,

“My name is Alan Ashby, I'm 22 years old. I work at a diner in Columbus, Ohio. I have no family. I have one friend who is too embarrassed to really be my friend. I'm perfectly normal. I'm perfectly fine. Everything is okay.”

No matter how many times I told myself this, I didn’t feel any better. I took one more look into the mirror and huffed out a deep breath of air,

“My name is Alan Ashby, I'm 22, and I'm going absolutely no where in life.”

Yeah, that was more fitting.