Heart-Shaped Bruises

"Shelby Nicole Davis! Come here, right now!" Ryan shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

I was at the top of the stairs in a matter of moments. "What?" I asked, looking down to where my boyfriend was standing.

He was angry. His arms were crossed over his chest, his eyes in narrow slits, glaring at me. I crossed my arms, not breaking his stare. "I said, come here." he repeated.

"I'm kind of busy." I said.

"Do not make me have to come up there and drag you down the stairs by your hair. You have five seconds." he said.

I sighed and took the steps, two at a time, until I was standing in front of him. "What, Ryan?" I asked.

He grabbed my arm, pulling me into the kitchen. "What do you see here?" he asked, his hands gripping my shoulders.

"An empty table." I said.

"And why is it empty?" he challenged.

I shrugged him off and turned around. "I don't know? Maybe because I didn't know you were coming back from tour today because as usual, you forget to inform me of these things?"

A second later, my cheek was stinging. I placed my hand over it, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I walked past Ryan and he grabbed me by my shirt, pulling me back and shoving me into the wall. "You are testing my patience, Shelby." he hissed.

"Get off of me!" I screamed, trying to push him away.

I never won though. Ryan was ten times stronger than I was and weighed more than I did. He threw me to the kitchen floor, kicking me in the side with all the strength he had. I tried to get up and he pushed me back down, straddling me as his fists connected with my face until his knuckles were bloodied and I was coughing up blood.

He wasn't always like this though...

Three years ago.

"Hi, welcome to Starbuck's, what can I get for you?" I asked. It was my first day at work and I was stoked. My first customer was an extremely attractive boy with long brown hair and beautiful green eyes.

"Can I get a um...shit...I forgot the name of it...um...I think it's a Caramel Frappe...I'm not sure." he said.

I had to hold back a giggle. "What size would you like?"

"A venti. It's not for me, it's for my girlfriend." he said.

"Oh, well, I'll get that right away. Um, what's your name?" I asked, getting a venti sized cup.

"Ryan." he said.

I nodded and wrote his name on the cup. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time.

The truth? He never had a girlfriend. I know this for a fact because three days later Ryan showed back up at Starbuck's and asked me to be his girlfriend. When I asked about the one he had, he just smiled and said it was "out of nerves because you're so beautiful I was caught off guard." and that's how I became Ryan Zimmerman's girlfriend.

"Are you awake?" Ryan asked, rolling over in bed.

I was facing the wall, my back to him. It was three hours later and we were laying in bed. After the incident in the kitchen Ryan helped me up to the bathroom and ran a bath for me as he always does. He was still sweet sometimes. I had been quiet since it happened. Ryan ran his fingers over some bruises on my forearm.

"Shelby, baby, talk to me. I'm sorry, okay?" he whispered.

I rolled over and moved closer to him. "I love you.." I said, kissing his chin.

He cupped my chin and leaned up to kiss me. "I love you too."

I curled up against him as he rubbed my back, singing quietly in my ear. I fell asleep as tears rolled down my swollen face, staining Ryan's shirt.

*~*~*

"Shelby, why do you let him do this to you?"

"I don't know." I said.

"You need to leave him."

"I can't, Max. I love him." I said.

Max stared at me like I was crazy. "Love? Shelby he beats you until you can barely move! That's not love!"

"You don't understand, Max! He doesn't mean to hurt me...he really does love me." I said.

"Tell me that the next time I'm rushing your ass to the hospital." Max said.

I didn't say anything, just looked away. Max sighed and grabbed his car keys. We exchanged looks once more before he shook his head and walked out, closing the door.

Ryan came home from band practice a few hours later and I had dinner ready and was putting the plates down as he walked into the kitchen. "Something smells good."

"I made your favorite." I said.

"What's the occasion?" he asked as he sat down.

"Nothing. I just wanted to make your favorite." I said, also sitting down.

Ryan smiled and began eating. "Well you're still an excellent cook."

"Thank you. How was band practice?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Boring. I'm going to go shower." he said and got up.

I also got up. "You're not going to finish your dinner?"

"I will later." he said.

"But Ryan...I spent an hour cooking it and I wanted to sit down and enjoy a nice dinner with you."

"And we will but first I'm going to shower." he said, kissing my forehead.

That's when I saw it. On the side of his neck there was a hickey. Was he cheating on me? No, he couldn't be....I needed to know though. "Ryan?"

He sighed, the obvious frustration was seeping through. "What, Shelby?" he was also getting annoyed.

I hesitated. "Are you cheating on me?"

I didn't get the answer I expected. I expected him to lie or at least try to play it off but he didn't. "Yes but I just go to her for sex." he said like it was an everyday thing you'd say to someone.

"But...but I'm your girlfriend..." I said.

"We haven't had sex in months because you won't let me touch you." he said.

"Because you hurt me..." I said.

"You deserve it ninety-eight percent of the time because you don't listen to me." Ryan said.

I sniffled and looked away. "Max is right."

"Max was here? I told you I didn't want him in my house." Ryan said and moved closer to me.

"Max is my friend and I can invite him over whenever I want." I said.

I whimpered when I felt his hand fly across my cheek, the sound echoing throughout the house. "He just wants to fuck you."

"I wish he would, at least someone would give it to me." I said.

Ryan glared and grabbed me by my hair, pulling me up the stairs. I tried kicking him once we were in our room. He slammed my face to the ground and stomped on my back as I tried to get up. I heard him taking his belt off and he used it to tie my hands behind my back.

Grabbing me by my hair again, Ryan forced me to my knees and moved me towards the bed. As he reached down to undo my pants I bit him on his arm. "You fucking whore!" he punched me in the mouth, knocking me onto the floor.

"Ryan..stop..please.." I begged.

I screamed in pain as he stomped on my chest before kicking me in my ribs. I swear I heard one snap in two. I was trying to get the air back in my lungs when he pulled me up onto my feet. He walked me to the door and opened it. We stood at the top of the stairs until he shoved me down them.

I hit my head against the wall and blacked out.

*~*~*

When I woke up hours later I could feel someone carrying me. The sound of water going down a drain was heard behind me. Ryan had given meva bath and was carrying me to bed. He placed me on the bed and tucked the sheets around my body.

I tried to sit up but my head hurt too much. "Ryan?"

"Yes?"

"What happened?"

"You fell. You need to get some rest. You hit your head pretty hard." he said, sliding in beside me.

I closed my eyes, feeling him wrap his arms around me. I pulled away but he didn't try to fight with me. Instead he rolled over and I heard him snoring moments later. I didn't fall asleep. I had had enough of Ryan's abuse and I wanted out.

By morning I had realized the only way I could be free of Ryan was if I killed myself. I waited until he left for band practice before texting Max and telling him that I was going to get away from Ryan once and for all. I didn't tell him I was going to kill myself.

I ran a bath and got in, fully clothed. The water was hot but it felt good. I laid my arm in the water until it turned red before pulling it out. I grabbed my razor and began slicing my flesh. I did both wrists until I finally hit a vein, the blood splattering onto the wall.

I was finally free.