Status: what even is this what am i doing lol
Sending SOS: Or, How Jack Learns to Walk the Line Between Love and Hate
Chapter Two
It’s irritating, Jack thinks as he makes his way down to lunch the next day, because everyone likes Alex. Everyone. The teachers merely shake their heads and smile indulgently when he forgets his homework, the lunch ladies give him free cupcakes because, "You're just so polite, dear, it's refreshing!" and Jack has even seen him sitting on the front steps of the school sharing a cigarette with Barrington's crazy janitor, McCracken, who has once killed a man (or so the legend goes.)
Pretty much everyone in Jack’s group likes Alex, and apologised on his behalf for how rude he was to Alex in chemistry, which, okay, maybe Jack should apologise himself. It wasn’t like it was Alex’s fault that he smashed up the classroom and made himself look like a tool, was it? It’s with that thought, of how everyone likes Alex and maybe, maybe they could become friends that Jack steps out into the he sees Alex sitting in his spot.
And, okay, it's not like Jack's mad or anything. It's just a spot on the bench. There's plenty of room left on the seat. He could sit on the other side of Brendon. It's not a big deal.
But at the same time, it kind of is. Because there Alex sits, with Brendon and Pete and the others, telling yet another fucking story that must be super fucking hilarious judging by the volume of laughter coming from their table, making other kids turn and look. From this angle, Jack can see the envious stares of kids not included, like that Ryan kid with the scarves. From this angle, Jack feels a shooting pain in his chest and genuinely thinks he's having a heart attack, until he realises it's, shit, loneliness. He feels suddenly and painfully tied to that Ryan kid, sitting on the outskirts and watching their group, and it's like having a role in a play that he doesn't know the lines for. Like he never even saw the script.
Or maybe, Jack considers, his script was stolen from him by some kid with caramel coloured hair and the most obnoxiously loud (cute) laugh ever.
Jack can't bring himself to go and sit over there, feeling like every pair of eyes in the world is staring at him, burning into his skin, Superman laser-style. And to think, he actually wanted to apologise for his outburst in the Chemistry room, Jack thinks, bitterly.
So instead, Jack turns on his heel and heads straight back inside, down the hall, and doesn't stop until he's sat in the furthest cubicle in a toilet on the far side of school, door slammed shut, eyes burning, the only sound coming from the hammering of his heart in his chest and Simple Plan blaring through his earphones, and tells himself he doesn't care until it stops hurting.
Can anybody hear me?
Or am I talking to myself?
My mind is running empty
In the search for someone else
Who doesn't look right through me.
It's all just static in my head
Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?
Pretty much everyone in Jack’s group likes Alex, and apologised on his behalf for how rude he was to Alex in chemistry, which, okay, maybe Jack should apologise himself. It wasn’t like it was Alex’s fault that he smashed up the classroom and made himself look like a tool, was it? It’s with that thought, of how everyone likes Alex and maybe, maybe they could become friends that Jack steps out into the he sees Alex sitting in his spot.
And, okay, it's not like Jack's mad or anything. It's just a spot on the bench. There's plenty of room left on the seat. He could sit on the other side of Brendon. It's not a big deal.
But at the same time, it kind of is. Because there Alex sits, with Brendon and Pete and the others, telling yet another fucking story that must be super fucking hilarious judging by the volume of laughter coming from their table, making other kids turn and look. From this angle, Jack can see the envious stares of kids not included, like that Ryan kid with the scarves. From this angle, Jack feels a shooting pain in his chest and genuinely thinks he's having a heart attack, until he realises it's, shit, loneliness. He feels suddenly and painfully tied to that Ryan kid, sitting on the outskirts and watching their group, and it's like having a role in a play that he doesn't know the lines for. Like he never even saw the script.
Or maybe, Jack considers, his script was stolen from him by some kid with caramel coloured hair and the most obnoxiously loud (cute) laugh ever.
Jack can't bring himself to go and sit over there, feeling like every pair of eyes in the world is staring at him, burning into his skin, Superman laser-style. And to think, he actually wanted to apologise for his outburst in the Chemistry room, Jack thinks, bitterly.
So instead, Jack turns on his heel and heads straight back inside, down the hall, and doesn't stop until he's sat in the furthest cubicle in a toilet on the far side of school, door slammed shut, eyes burning, the only sound coming from the hammering of his heart in his chest and Simple Plan blaring through his earphones, and tells himself he doesn't care until it stops hurting.
Can anybody hear me?
Or am I talking to myself?
My mind is running empty
In the search for someone else
Who doesn't look right through me.
It's all just static in my head
Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?
♠ ♠ ♠
the song is satellite by simple planjack's so emo
i sowwy