Saving Lucy

For the rest of the day I tried really hard to concentrate on my work. Despite my best efforts, I kept zoning out and staring out the window or checking the clock constantly to see if time was speeding. Much to my dismay, every time I checked, the minutes just ticked by slower and slower. No matter what I did I couldn’t focus on what I was reading or typing. I was too focused on the way Harry hung up the phone on me.
Harry and I had only ever been really mad at each other once before.
It was back in London for Christmas in 2012. I was just beginning at E! and hadn’t made the big move yet to America, and Harry was off of tour for the holidays. Therefore everyone was in the same country for the first time in months and we took advantage of it.
We all met up at Louis’s flat for a White Elephant and family dinner; it was Harry, Niall, Liam, Perrie, Zayn, Eleanor, Nick, Gemma, Ashton, and me. The theme was pajamas so we all put on our best nightgowns and grabbed our presents before heading over to Louis’s.
“Lucy Goosey!” Niall cheered once he opened the door and let me in. He pulled me into one of his famous hugs and I giggled against his chest.
“How are you, handsome?” I asked, ruffling his hair playfully. He pocked my side and we walked into the living room with each other, where Liam, Louis, Harry, and Gemma were already waiting. Louis was cuddling with Harry on one part of the sectional and Liam and Gem were in a heated debate about whether or not David or Victoria was the hotter Beckham.
“It’s clearly Victoria,” Gemma huffed as we sat down. Liam rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“No way, Becks all the way,” He insisted. “He’s ace at soccer and an underwear model. Women swoon when he blinks. How can you say he’s not hotter?”
“Easily,” Gemma scoffed. “Because Victoria is.”
I looked across the room, and Louis winked at me when we made eye contact. “Settle down, settle down. We all know Payn-o is only saying this because he’s been told he resembles a younger David Beckham.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Liam muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. We all laughed and he scowled. “Shut it!”
“Don’t be such a prat,” Harry laughed. “We’re messing.”
Liam sunk lower into the couch and Gemma started to cackle gleefully before turning her attention to me. “So how were the colonies?”
I rolled my eyes. “America was fine as always. Nothing different. A lot of paperwork and meetings.”
There was a knock from the foyer, and Louis got up to see who it was. We heard cheers and laughter, and Zayn’s distinctive voice; less than a minute later Louis, Perrie, and Zayn walked into the room with big smiles.
“Set the bags over there!” Louis instructed pointing to a lazily decorated table where everyone else’s presents already sat. The couple did as they were told before sitting down on the large couch.
“What did we miss?” Zayn smiled as he laced his fingers with Perrie’s. She smiled up at him and I felt my stomach turn to knots; I didn’t want to be jealous but seeing Harry lounging on the other side of the sofa, oblivious to my presence made me feel a little sick.
Gemma turned her attention back to me and smirked. “I was just asking Lucy about her trip. So, Luc, anything new or life changing happening that you’d like us to know?”
“Not that I can think of,” I muttered, avoiding the curious looks. The hair on the back of my neck was standing on end and I knew where this was going.
“What are you getting at, Gem?” Harry yawned. He ran a hand through his mop of curls and kicked his feet up onto the coffee table. “I think we’d like move on with the proceedings.”
Gemma cut her eyes at her little brother. “Shut up, idiot. I just want to hear the good news that Lucy has.”
“I don’t have any good news, Gemma,” I insisted. Harry was openly staring at me now and I almost wished he’d go back to ignoring me.
“What is she talking about?” He asked quietly.
I looked from Gemma to Harry to Gemma to Harry, probably looking like a deranged cartoon character. Taking a deep breathe, I decided to just get on with it. “They offered me an official position as correspondent and substitute anchor, but I have to move to LA. I think I’m going to take the offer.”
Silence filled the room while Harry and I just stared at each other, my words hanging in the air. Without a word, he grabbed his coat from the back of the couch, got up, and stormed out the door. Ignoring all of our friends, I grabbed my own coat and chased after him.
“Harry!” I called, closing the door behind me and pulling my coat closer around my body. “Please, stop! Harry!”
Abruptly, he stopped walking and I slammed into his back. Before I could fall on my ass, he turned around quickly and grabbed my waist to keep my steady. My hands found his chest and we stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like hours, but were really seconds.
“What are you doing?” He muttered, straightening me.
“Why are you mad?” I asked. “You can’t just leave like that.”
“Guess that doesn’t apply to you, yeah?” He sneered. I realized what he was saying and looked down at my feet, realizing I didn’t even bother to put on shoes.
“Harry, I don’t have a lot of choices. It’s my job.”
“So you can just leave m-“ He stopped speaking and turned away again. I watching him shake his head slightly and take a breath. “So you can just leave home? Your friends? Your family?”
“They understand,” I said. I didn’t want to dwell on what Harry almost said because there wasn’t a point. He was going to be stubborn and angry, and I just had to calm him down fractionally.
“Well I’m glad they understand,” He smiled. For a second I almost bought it but there was still an edge to his tone.
“Harry,” I almost said before he bent down to kiss my cheek.
“But I’m sorry that I don’t,” He whispered in my ear before pulling away and leaving me in the middle of the hallway.
After that, I didn’t see Harry again up until the days I was about to leave for America. He wasn’t angry anymore, just sad that I was about to leave.
It was kind of fortunate that Harry and I had so little history when it came to being angry with one another. But the other side of that was the amount of time we let our anger manifest. I went weeks without so much as hearing a word from, and to this day I’m still not sure if it bothered him at all to not speak to me. When Harry wasn’t on tour or with his fans, he became quiet and closed off from the world, and I was one of the only people who could get him out of it. Lord knows what he got himself into when we were apart, and I don’t like to dwell on it too much.
Not a lot of people know the side of Harry that I knew and loved. He wasn’t just the perfect pop star; he wasn’t real and sensitive and loved making others happy—so much so that he sacrificed his own happiness.
Being around Harry was like being around a magnet. He was charming and captivating yet he let you do all the talking. It was like the second you were within his reach, he captured you completely. I could watch that silly boy talk, painfully slow as it was, for hours on end and not get bored once. He wasn’t just a pretty face; he was intellectual and charismatic and incredibly humble.
When it was time to leave work and head over to visit Harry, I was halfway to the elevator when I bumped into someone.
“Oof,” I mumbled, rubbing my head. I looked up to see Smith, the intern from the other day. “Oh, hey, Smith.”
“Lucy Teller,” He grinned. He was dressed in a pleasant checkered shirt and khaki pants. We stepped into the elevator together and he pushed the button for the lobby. “Where were you rushing off to?”
“Aren’t I always rushing?” I joked lamely. Smith laughed anyways, to humor me or because he genuinely thought it was funny I’m not sure. “How was your day?”
“Well Jason isn’t as bad as I anticipated. It’s mostly making reservations, picking up his lunch and dry cleaning, and fielding some phone calls. Nothing I can’t handle.”
“I’m sorry that I haven’t had the chance to speak to you much,” I apologized, checking my messages discreetly: so far, nothing besides an email or two.
“I understand that you’re busy,” He shrugged.
I sighed. “I’m starting to get really tired of people saying that.”
The elevator doors opened and I exited, Smith falling into step next to me. My heels clicked against the marble floor and mingled with the sounds of everyone else’s footsteps.
“Why?” He asked.
“Because it’s just a reminder that I am perpetually busy and never have time to spend with the people I love.”
“I heard you took out a chunk of time starting next week,” He said. “How did you manage that?”
I went through the revolving doors, dodging other pedestrians, and continued my march to where my car was parked. “I moved a lot of things around and canceled a view interviews or gave them to Jesse and Ali. They want to do it more than I do so why not, you know?”
“I guess.” He scratched his head as I unlocked the door.
“Do you need a ride somewhere?” I offered before getting in, one hand on the door.
He shook his head. “Nah, my car is parked up the street. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yup,” I nodded. “I’ll be there really late catching up on work.”
“I noticed you were out incredibly early for yourself,” He smiled. He closed the door gently after me and waved from the sidewalk as I pulled into traffic. Even though that was the longest conversation I’ve had with the guy, he seemed very sincere and sweet, and I made a mental note to grab lunch with him.
-
The drive to Malibu from LA took almost an hour because of rush hour traffic, but I didn’t mind. I needed the time to clear my head.
The Where We Are Tour was pushed back a month for now, unknown to Harry, because they thought that was all the time he needed to right himself. Modest! was under the asinine impression that this was a PR stunt and he only needed “a little time” to recover from his “momentary lapse of judgment.” Perrie and Zayn are thinking of pushing the wedding back and Louis is thinking of pushing back his proposal to El because these are moments “Harry has to be present for.” Anne and I were plotting to move him back to the UK, with or without his consent in less than a week.
These were all things that were happening regarding Harry that he had no clue about but deserved to. I didn’t know how anyone was planning on informing him of these things, but I certainly needed to be there to deal with the aftermath.
Just as I was thinking up ways to calm him down, my phone started to ring throughout the car, pausing Do I Wanna Know, and I clicked a button on the wheel to answer. “Lucy Teller.”
“Where are you?” Louis’s concerned voice asked, echoing throughout the small space.
“On my way. I’m on Pacific Coast right now,” I informed him.
“He’s getting anxiety over everyone being here,” Louis whispered. “You need to hurry.”
“I’m all but breaking every rule in traffic history,” I sighed. “Why more do you want?”
“You. Here. Now.” He muttered. “There’s just so long Niall can watch old ManU matches before he loses it.”
I laughed. “Tell them I’m like 5 minutes away, okay?”
“Okay,” He said before clicking off. One thing about those boys was that they never said ‘goodbye.’ We’d have to work on that.
Less than a few minutes later, I pulled up the property—a large white mansion right at the edge of a cliff. Hence the name: Cliffside Malibu. Architecturally it was an open structure with a wraparound balcony all along the second floor and large windows that boasted the scenery. After I turned off the car, I got out and made my way up the path to the front doors and letting myself in.
Across from the entrance was a receptionist who was scrolling through something on her desktop. I approached her and smiled. “Hi, I’m Lucy Teller for Mr. Styles.”
The pretty redhead smiled at me with a hint of pity. “They’ve been expecting you. He’s in the 4th house out back. Just go through those doors and follow the bridge path. There should be a sign.”
“Thank you,” I said before following her instructions. Outside the bridge was framed with trees, flowers, and other foliage and the view of the Cliffside was still prominent. I followed the path until I saw a small wooden sign that read “Bungalow Number Four” but the large home before me was anything but a one-storied thatched or tiled house. Instead it was an exact replica of the main building and I steeled myself before walking up the small path.
“Hello?” I called as I walked through the door. Apparently they didn’t believe in locks in Malibu.
I heard scrambling in other room and paused just as Niall flew down the stairs. “Me girl is here!”
“It’s about time,” Louis grinned, walking down a hallway. He looked good: tan from the LA sun, fringe hanging just above his blue eyes, and pants cuffed just above his ankles. “Everyone is out back on the porch.”
“Such accommodations,” I joked, following Louis while Niall put his arm around me. I looked around at the high ceilings, simple white furnishings, and open space. It looked more like a vacation home rather than a rehab facility. “But really, this is a nice place.”
“Harry didn’t pay the big bucks to live in a shack for months,” Louis shrugged. “What did you expect really?”
“Point taken,” I said just as we walked through the French doors. Lounging on the light brown wicker furniture was Harry, Gemma, Anne, and Robin looking like a perfect family despite our current location.
Harry looked up just as he was laughing at something Gem said, and the second we made eye contact, his face dropped. “Lucy.”
“Hello, Harry,” I smiled weakly. Niall removed his arm from around my shoulders and stepped away discreetly. Harry got up from the chair he was on and approached me. I opened my mouth to say something else, but without a word he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him.
“Lucy,” He repeated, sighing my name into my hair like a prayer. He kissed the side of my head softly.
“Hi,” I whispered into his chest. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” He mumbled, still holding me close to him. He pulled back, but kept my hand in his, and walked back to the chair he previously occupied. We sat down next to each other and I blushed furiously as his family and our friends looked at us.
Anne cleared her throat. “Yes, well, not that we’re all here, we have news for you, Harold.”
“What kind of news?” He asked, rubbing my hand with his thumb. I tried to concentrate on my breathing and not jumping him in front of everyone; it’s been a month since I’ve seen him and I missed him like crazy.
“Maybe we should let Lucy tell him, Mum,” Gemma suggested, smiling at me.
Harry turned to look at me and his eyebrows pulled together. “What’s going on?”
“I’m going to be taking time off of work next week to go home and help Celeste with the wedding,” I said. “And I thought it’d be a good idea to bring you with me.”
“I can’t leave,” He deadpanned, shaking his head slightly.
“I know. That’s why we’d just relocate you to another facility in London. That way you can be closer to home.”
He stopped rubbing my hand and looked only at me. “You’re serious? You want me to move? Are you mental?”
“Why is it such a big deal?”
“I can’t just leave, Lucy,” He spit, standing up. He looked so disgusted with me and I recoiled from his glare.
“Harry, it was just an idea, I-“
“Well save your ideas,” He cut me off. Just like that he spun on the heels of his worn boots and stomped back into the house. Everyone stared at the place he just left with open mouths and wide eyes.
“Well that was awfully unexpected,” Niall said slowly, looking at all our faces. Louis cracked a smile but everyone else stayed silent. “Aw c’mon. Someone go talk to the wanker.”
“I’ll go,” I sighed, getting up. I opened the door and stepped in. I looked around the spacious room and decided to head upstairs to look for him. He’s probably in his bedroom sulking.
I had no idea why certain things set Harry off; they just did. A lot of people didn’t realize just how sensitive he really was, and he always kept it all bottled up so they wouldn’t find out. I’ve told him over and over again that he needed to let it out or he’ll explode but no. He keeps doing what he does and eventually explodes.
Once I was on the second floor, I walked down the hallway until I came to the door at the end. More than likely this was the master suite. Not bothering to knock, I pushed open the door and saw Harry on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Slowly, I approached the bed and sat down at the edge, taking precaution to not touch him.
“Harry,” I started. He didn’t blink or move and I sighed. “Harry, why are you so upset?”
He didn’t say anything again, and I could just feel my anger rising. “Are you serious? You’re really just going to sit there and mope? Well I have news for you, Styles, I will not stand for it. I will not tiptoe around your feelings just because of the current situation, and I refuse to let you act this way. It’s not okay and I don’t know who told you it was.”
After a beat, he chuckled quietly. “Oh, Lucy. You’re so delusional if you think I’ll listen to you just because you stand over there and yell at me.”
“I’m delusional? Really?” I nearly screeched. “You’re a brat, Harry. You’re an entitled brat who thinks the world owes you something. Who taught you to be like this? I know with certainty it wasn’t your lovely mum downstairs. Gemma doesn’t throw a proper fit every time she doesn’t like what she hears.”
“Are you serious?” He snapped, sitting up abruptly. He narrowed his eyes at me and I stood my ground, glaring back defiantly. “You think I’m upset because I don’t like what I hear? That’s absurd! I’m angry because you’re a selfish, bitch, who doesn’t think of anyone but themselves!”
I took a step back like he just hit me. He might as well have. “If that’s what you think of me, Harry, then I don’t know why I even bothered coming today.”
Without another word, I left Harry in that room and went down the stair cause out the door. I didn’t bother saying goodbye to his family, Louis, and Niall. I’d let Harry deal with that.
Things obviously were never going to change and he was stuck in his ways. I wasn’t going to waste anymore of my time on Harry Styles.