Forgetting You, But Not the Time

December; the dreaded month where most shopping centers are packed full of gift-crazed, early-Christmas-shopping parental units. Sometimes I wondered how they knew exactly what to get their families at such an early time of the month. Usually, I wouldn't be able to figure out what to get each individual person until around a week before Christmas day, and then leave to find that they were no longer in stock or sold out, and would have to grab a random object and pay for it, telling the person opening the present that "I thought they would like it".

But apparently this year was different. Of course, I was friends with Carly McBride... and Carly McBride never did things at the last minute. Therefore, I was forced to tag along with her on the first Saturday of the month to shop for presents. I didn't even know what I wanted for Christmas, so how should I have been prepared to buy everyone else something? Sure, I had the money. Years of chores definitely paid off, but it wasn't the prices that I was worried about. Did she actually think that we would be able to buy everything all in that one simple day?

"I think we might be able to buy everyone's gifts by the end of the day." Carly stated, walking forward along the sidewalk of Pier 39, hoping to browse through each small store held in its vicinity.

I sighed. Apparently she did think so. "Carly," I began, staring oddly at a man who made a point to look down a woman's loose dress on his way by her. "I don't think I can—"

"Oh, there's Kris!" she exclaimed, pointing wildly towards the now-brunette who was making her way over to us. My eyes widened slightly as I avoided eye contact with the girl. I still hadn't talked to her about my relationship with Billie, much to Carly's annoyance.

"Hey Carly, sorry it took so long to get here. Traffic. Apparently everyone's looking to get their Christmas shopping over with." She looked behind Carly and noticed me tilting my head elsewhere, hoping to stay out of sight of her. It was like one of those "if-I-don't-look-at-her-maybe-she-won't-see-me" gestures. "Spencer?"

I winced, daring to glance over at her. "Oh, hi Kris." What was I suppose to say? I had already went over what I should tell the girl before, but now I couldn't remember a word of it! I mentally slapped myself. Hard.

There was something about the look on Kris's face that told me she wasn't terribly angry with me. But the look in her eyes... oh, don't even get me started. Needless to say, she was hurt. But I didn't need to see her to know how much I must've hurt her. After all, this was Billie we were talking about. With him, everyone gets hurt.

"Hi," she responded, unable to find anything else to say. I didn't blame her. The both of us knew we had to face each other, but neither of us really wanted to. Now's better than never, A voice in the back of my head said. But something else also said that it was best to just simply avoid the entire topic altogether. I wasn't quite sure which to side with.

I cleared my throat, stepping up beside Carly while pulling my jacket tighter around my shivering body. "Er, Kris? I think we need to, uh, talk?" It sounded more like a question than a statement. Either way, Kris nodded her agreement and walked over to a nearby bench. Reluctantly, I followed while Carly walked into "Winter Wonderland Christmas Shoppe" to give us some time alone.

I sat down beside her, though kept my distance in case she was uncomfortable. Now what?

"Look, Kris," I guess I go first. "I'm really sorry about... well," Quite frankly, I wasn't sure of what to be sorry for. I wasn't sorry that I was with Billie, and Kris didn't seem to be as attracted to him as she was before. So why was I apologizing? "It's just that... I'm sorry if this whole "Billie-and-me" thing makes you uncomfortable. I know you still have feelings for him, but..." I really didn't know what to say.

"Spencer, it's okay." Yeah, I know she hates me an—wait, what? My look suggested that she needed to repeat herself, "It's okay." Was it? Had I overreacted all this time? "I'm not mad. Really." Damnit! Why can't she be mad like I thought she would be?! I'm not prepared for this! "I guess just... the news that you two were... well, you know... I guess it just took me by surprise. I honestly never took you for one who would fall for him. I'm not mad; I never was. Yeah, it hurts. But only a little... it's been a while since we were together, so I really shouldn't have a problem with this. And I don't." God, I loved this girl.

A smile twitched on the corner of my lips. "Really? I mean, you seriously don't mind?" This had to have been some sort of a trick. Hadn't it...?

Kris nodded, smiling a bit as well. "Yeah, I don't mind. You're my friend, Spencer. And hating you because you were dating a guy I used to be with would just be... well, it'd be stupid." I could kiss her, but that'd be strange. "You have the right to date whomever you please, Spence. Don't let your friends get in the way of that."

Hmm, that sounds like something Billie would say...

I smiled graciously and pulled her into a hug. I couldn't have been any more thankful that I had this girl as a friend. She was so understanding, and kind... there weren't many of those these days. I guess I was just lucky.

"Now," Kris pulled away. "Let's do some Christmas shopping."

Billie's POV

I sighed angrily. "John, dude, stop it." I had gotten enough of it. First, the boy doesn't come to practice on time. Yeah, it's happened before, and the first time I had let it slide, but once it became a habit, I started losing my patience. And now he was apologizing profusely for doing so while making up excuses on the way. If it wasn't for Mike, I would've completely lost it.

"Stop fucking apologizing and just sit your ass behind your drums."

He did so, but not before he pulled out a literature book and sat it on the desk beside him. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I didn't think english literature homework had anything to do with beating the crap out of a drumset.

"What is that?" I asked, pointing a finger towards the desk that now had a light hovering over it. John gave me one of those "are-you-stupid?" looks.

"Um, my homework?" Noticing my bland facial expression, he continued, "You know, work that you take home from school? Something teachers assign—"

"I know what fucking homework means!" I snapped. "Smart ass." I muttered beneath my breath, and John made a strong point of rolling his eyes. "But homework has nothing to do with band practice. You can do it later." I went to tune my guitar, but of course, John interrupts with,

"What's your problem, man?" Sometimes I found it just hilarious how he managed to ask the dumbest questions. "It won't take long, and we're not even practice—"

"Yes we are fucking practicing! You see this thing I'm holding? A guitar? I'm going to practice with it! See Mike holding a bass guitar? He's going to fucking practice with it. And you see that drumset right in front of you? Yeah, you're suppose practice on it."

John murmured a few profanities under his breath. "Bill, you need to understand this thing called graduation." He used the same amount of sarcasm as I did, and I felt my eye vaguely twitch. "I'd like to make it through high school in one piece, if you get what I'm saying. And practicing instead of finishing my homework is kind of getting in the way of that."

"Why do you insist on referring to our band practices as obstacles?" I returned, my guitar going forgotten as I sat it carelessly on the futon near the staircase. "I thought this meant as much to you as it did to us?" I motioned between Mike and myself. "And yes, I understand the concept of graduation, I don't know what you take me for, but you're just going to have to find some way to fit band practice into your "busy" schedule!" This was not what I had planned for this afternoon's practice. "You're either with us or you're not, John! We'd like you to be involved with the band, you are our friend, and most definitely a kick ass drummer! But you need to make a choice, John. Either show up on time and give it your all, or don't show up at all." Eh, maybe that wasn't the best thing to say.

John looked torn between giving in and agreeing to my terms, or punching either his drums, a nearby wall or my face.

Mike rose from his spot in a fold out chair, tentatively holding his hands up. "Okay, let's just chill out for a second, alright? John, Billie has a point: if you want to be apart of this band, you're going to have to show it. We can't do this without you, man, and you know it. And Billie, John does have a point as well: school is important, and he should have an option to devote some of his spare time to his schoolwork instead of band practice, I think we can manage." You're sarcasm is fucking noted, Michael.

I grunted, looking away from the two. Fucking reality check, Mike: if we let him off the first time, he'll just keep wanting more!

I noticed John adjust himself where he was standing, leaning against the wall. "Billie, Mike... I didn't mean to make you think that the band wasn't important, okay? Because it is. But music isn't always going to be my life. Hell, if I don't focus more on my education, I won't have much of one! Look, Billie, when I said that you needed to understand it, I didn't mean that you weren't smart... I was just saying that you need to step into my shoes every once in a while. School may not be that important you, but it is to me." He crossed his arms across his chest. "I really don't know what else to say. But I am with you guys, and with this band... but I need to have time to my schoolwork or this... this just won't work out."

I sighed angrily again. Running my fingers through my disheveled hair, I wondered if now would be a good time to just kick him out of the band altogether. But then again, I knew how much of a mistake that would be.

"Fine," I grumbled. "Fine, you can do your damn homework whenever you want to. But just because I said that does not mean that you can abuse it and never come to band practice." He was lucky I was giving him that. Like I had said before, if Mike wasn't in the room at the time...

"Okay," John agreed. "Okay, I won't. I'll come." Mike nodded to himself, glad that this whole situation had been cleared properly. I, however, wasn't satisfied. But I left it as it was, and returned to my guitar.

* * * *

"Bill?" I heard Mike's voice from behind me. I sat my water bottle down on the counter and turned to face the bassist.

"Yeah?" The brawl from earlier hadn't been the end of the tension between us, but for now we let it slide. At the moment, I was glad John had left, but half of me wished he would've stayed. We really needed to practice more.

"Er, can I talk to you?" He asked, chewing on his bottom lip. I raised an eyebrow.

"Sure, man." I hopped up on the counter, leaning my back against the cabinets, signaling for him to continue.

"Well," Mike breathed, backing up against the island. "You know how Christmas is coming up?" I nodded. "Well, I already know what I'm getting Carly, but... I've, er, come to realize something..." he trailed off, watching a spider glide underneath the refrigerator.

"You've come to realize...?" I urged, waving my hand.

Mike's cheeks colored and I bit back the urge to laugh. "It's just... Carly and I have been together for a while now—"

"Almost a year." I interfered, grinning slightly. Mike nodded.

"Eh, yeah, 9 months... and, well, it's been on my mind for a while now and... I've come to realize that... that I might be in love with her."

I froze, and the room silenced. In love, eh? That was surely something I did not expect Mike to confess. Of course, I knew he wasn't afraid to tell me anything, but I had no idea he would think along those lines.

After another moment of thick silence, I asked, "In love, huh?" I wasn't exactly the person he should be talking to about these sorts of things. I had never actually been in love. Well, there was Spencer... but that wasn't love. Like? Yeah, I liked her. Affection? Of course. I admired her, even. But I definitely wasn't in love with her. "What makes you say that?"

"Well," Mike reached and scratched the back of his neck. "I don't know, really. It's just a feeling, I guess. I mean, we've been together for months, I care a lot about her, she makes me feel like the happiest guy in the world, and... I don't know, I just think I do. Actually, I'm sure I do. I love her. A whole hell of a lot."

I chuckled, taking another swig of my water. "Well, then good for you, man. Carly's a great girl." I paused for a moment. "So what do you plan on doing about it?"

"What? You mean, how do I tell her?" I nodded again. "Well," he said again. "I was thinking about telling her on Christmas. After I gave her the present. Or while I was giving it to her, I don't really know. I'm shit at this."

I laughed at that, "You definitely are." Mike's screwed. Period.

Another round of silence surrounded the two of us. The only thing heard were the cars passing by the house out front. My thoughts wandered. I needed to write a new song. I needed to buy Christmas presents for everyone. I needed to think of something nice to buy Spencer in particular. Damn, where was she? I remembered hearing her say something about—

"Anyways, what are you getting for Spencer?"

I swear, this boy could read minds.

I chuckled again. "I don't know. Something nice. Jewelry? Nah, that's too corny. Maybe a record? No, she owns basically everything I could afford. I'm lost." Mike wasn't the only one who was screwed.

"Just think about it." Mike advised, now sitting on the island surface. "What are we going to do with John?"

I shrugged half-heartedly. The things I really wanted to do with him could be left unsaid. "Just wait and see what happens. If he stays loyal to the band, we'll do nothing. If he fucks us over, he's out. Period." Once again, Mike nodded aimlessly.

Mike was screwed. I was screwed. Either way, John seemed to be screwed...

God help us.