I'm Just the Boy Who's Had Too Many Chances
Inexperienced
Frank and Gerard didn’t make it home until a little after 9, because Frank decided he wanted Chinese food, and the only acceptable Chinese place around was an hour away. But they had the best spring rolls Gerard had ever had, so he didn’t mind the drive.
By the time Frank and Gerard had both showered, it was quarter after 10. They let out Sinatra once more, and then they climbed the two flights of stairs to Frank’s attic.
Frank sat down on his bed, and ran his fingers through his newly-bleached hair nervously.
“Do you wanna sleep on the floor like we usually do?”
“I don’t care.”
“Or you,” Frank cleared his throat, “You can sleep in the bed with me.”
Gerard blushed, and hoped to God that Frank couldn’t see it. “Do you want me to?”
Frank smiled guiltily. “Sure. Only if you don’t mind. I kinda move around a lot.”
Gerard took a step closer to Frank. “It’s a big bed. I don’t think it would bother me."
Frank reached up to wrap his arms around Gerard’s neck. He pulled him close, and kissed him softly.
Just as Frank parted his lips slightly, Gerard pulled away, standing up straight.
“You still smell like bleach,” He said, smiling.
“Sorry.”
Gerard climbed into Frank’s bed, settling in under the large checkered blanket. Frank joined him, shutting off his lamp before wiggling his way next to Gerard.
“Those things are fucking bright,” Gerard said, looking at the glowing handprints on the wall.
“I know,” Frank whispered, throwing his arm around Gerard's chest, “Sometimes they keep me up at night.”
“Then why don’t you paint over them?”
He felt Frank shrug. “It’s not that bad. Plus, I don’t wanna. As inconvenient as they may be sometimes, I like them. They remind me of you.”
Gerard chuckled. “Speaking of reminding you of me, why aren’t you sleeping with my hoodie tonight?”
Frank scoffed. “I’ve got you here. I only sleep with your hoodie when you’re otherwise inaccessible.”
“Thanks,” Gerard said, pressing another kiss to Frank’s lips. Frank didn’t want the kiss to end so soon, so he chased Gerard’s lips. Again, as Frank parted his lips, Gerard ended the kiss. But Frank just kissed him again, but to his annoyance, when he parted his lips once more, Gerard pulled away.
Frank sat up quickly. “Why do you do that?” He asked, and Gerard thought he sounded annoyed and angry.
“Do what?” He asked, also sitting up, and pulling his knees to his chest.
“Pull away.”
“I don’t do it on purpose,” Gerard said.
“You’re lying. Every time! Every single time I try to… What’s the matter? What am I doing wrong?”
“Nothing! I just-“ He sighed. He hated the fact that he had made Frank feel like this was his fault. “I’m not… nothing. Can we just drop it?”
“No,” Frank said, shaking his head vehemently. “What’s the problem? Tell me.” He reached out and grabbed one of Gerard’s hands. “Please.”
Gerard sighed again. “It’s embarrassing.”
Frank scoffed. “Really? You’re not gonna tell me because it’s embarrassing? Don’t you think we’re past that?”
“Yeah, I guess. I just, I feel like… Like I’m,” He took a deep breath, “Inexperienced.”
“Explain, please.”
Gerard shrugged. “You have experience. You’ve been, and I hate to use this word, but, intimate with people. I haven’t. I don’t know how to do anything. I’ve never done anything before. I’m nervous. I don’t wanna embarrass myself.” He noticed that Frank was smiling softly.
“Is that it? Why you won’t let me go any further?”
Gerard nodded slowly.
“I get it. James was more experienced than I was. I was scared with him. It’s okay for you to be scared, or nervous. But you need to trust me. Do you trust me?”
“Of course.”
“Then trust me when I say that I would be happy to help you get over any insecurity you have when it comes to… intimacy.”
Gerard giggled, because Frank saying ‘intimacy’ was amusing in a sick way.
“That being said, come here,” Frank said softly, pulling Gerard over to him.
Frank placed one hand on Gerard’s neck, and the other on his arm. Gerard braced one hand on the bed, and set the other on the back of Frank’s head.
“You trust me, right?” Frank whispered.
“Yes.”
“Stop me if I go too fast.”
Gerard nodded, and Frank leaned in. Even though this was far from the first time they’d kissed, Gerard had never been more nervous. Frank paused for a second just before their lips touched, and then tilted his head and kissed Gerard.
It was just like any other kiss they’d ever shared, but Gerard knew it wasn’t gonna stay that way for long.
Frank pulled away for just a second, and kissed him again, this time capturing Gerard’s bottom lip between his. Slowly, very slowly, Frank parted his lips. Gerard wanted to pull away like he’d become accustomed to, but Frank gripped him tightly.
Gerard accidently moaned gently when Frank ran the very tip of his tongue over his lip. Frank broke to kiss to laugh softly.
“I’m sorry,” Gerard said, blushing.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s normal.”
“Do you feel like a Sex Ed teacher?”
“Kinda. Are you okay?”
Gerard nodded. “I’m good. You can keep going.”
“Okay.”
Frank leaned in again, and kissed Gerard again, this time opening his mouth a little wider, and licking gently at Gerard’s lip. Gerard took the hint, and parted his lips, too. He was a little surprised when Frank crept his tongue slowly into Gerard’s mouth, but he didn’t pull away. He followed after Frank, moving his tongue like Frank was. He was shocked with how amazing it felt, and how fantastic of a kisser Frank was.
Gerard finally broke the kiss reluctantly when he needed to breathe.
“You okay?” Frank asked, breathless.
Gerard chuckled. “More than okay. You are ridiculously good at that.”
Frank smirked. “I know. Thanks. You know, for a beginner, you’re not so bad yourself. Now that I’ve successful taught you the finer points of making out, do you wanna go to sleep?”
Gerard smiled. “Hell no,” He said, grabbing Frank firmly and kissing him again.
He didn’t pull away this time.
By the time Frank and Gerard had both showered, it was quarter after 10. They let out Sinatra once more, and then they climbed the two flights of stairs to Frank’s attic.
Frank sat down on his bed, and ran his fingers through his newly-bleached hair nervously.
“Do you wanna sleep on the floor like we usually do?”
“I don’t care.”
“Or you,” Frank cleared his throat, “You can sleep in the bed with me.”
Gerard blushed, and hoped to God that Frank couldn’t see it. “Do you want me to?”
Frank smiled guiltily. “Sure. Only if you don’t mind. I kinda move around a lot.”
Gerard took a step closer to Frank. “It’s a big bed. I don’t think it would bother me."
Frank reached up to wrap his arms around Gerard’s neck. He pulled him close, and kissed him softly.
Just as Frank parted his lips slightly, Gerard pulled away, standing up straight.
“You still smell like bleach,” He said, smiling.
“Sorry.”
Gerard climbed into Frank’s bed, settling in under the large checkered blanket. Frank joined him, shutting off his lamp before wiggling his way next to Gerard.
“Those things are fucking bright,” Gerard said, looking at the glowing handprints on the wall.
“I know,” Frank whispered, throwing his arm around Gerard's chest, “Sometimes they keep me up at night.”
“Then why don’t you paint over them?”
He felt Frank shrug. “It’s not that bad. Plus, I don’t wanna. As inconvenient as they may be sometimes, I like them. They remind me of you.”
Gerard chuckled. “Speaking of reminding you of me, why aren’t you sleeping with my hoodie tonight?”
Frank scoffed. “I’ve got you here. I only sleep with your hoodie when you’re otherwise inaccessible.”
“Thanks,” Gerard said, pressing another kiss to Frank’s lips. Frank didn’t want the kiss to end so soon, so he chased Gerard’s lips. Again, as Frank parted his lips, Gerard ended the kiss. But Frank just kissed him again, but to his annoyance, when he parted his lips once more, Gerard pulled away.
Frank sat up quickly. “Why do you do that?” He asked, and Gerard thought he sounded annoyed and angry.
“Do what?” He asked, also sitting up, and pulling his knees to his chest.
“Pull away.”
“I don’t do it on purpose,” Gerard said.
“You’re lying. Every time! Every single time I try to… What’s the matter? What am I doing wrong?”
“Nothing! I just-“ He sighed. He hated the fact that he had made Frank feel like this was his fault. “I’m not… nothing. Can we just drop it?”
“No,” Frank said, shaking his head vehemently. “What’s the problem? Tell me.” He reached out and grabbed one of Gerard’s hands. “Please.”
Gerard sighed again. “It’s embarrassing.”
Frank scoffed. “Really? You’re not gonna tell me because it’s embarrassing? Don’t you think we’re past that?”
“Yeah, I guess. I just, I feel like… Like I’m,” He took a deep breath, “Inexperienced.”
“Explain, please.”
Gerard shrugged. “You have experience. You’ve been, and I hate to use this word, but, intimate with people. I haven’t. I don’t know how to do anything. I’ve never done anything before. I’m nervous. I don’t wanna embarrass myself.” He noticed that Frank was smiling softly.
“Is that it? Why you won’t let me go any further?”
Gerard nodded slowly.
“I get it. James was more experienced than I was. I was scared with him. It’s okay for you to be scared, or nervous. But you need to trust me. Do you trust me?”
“Of course.”
“Then trust me when I say that I would be happy to help you get over any insecurity you have when it comes to… intimacy.”
Gerard giggled, because Frank saying ‘intimacy’ was amusing in a sick way.
“That being said, come here,” Frank said softly, pulling Gerard over to him.
Frank placed one hand on Gerard’s neck, and the other on his arm. Gerard braced one hand on the bed, and set the other on the back of Frank’s head.
“You trust me, right?” Frank whispered.
“Yes.”
“Stop me if I go too fast.”
Gerard nodded, and Frank leaned in. Even though this was far from the first time they’d kissed, Gerard had never been more nervous. Frank paused for a second just before their lips touched, and then tilted his head and kissed Gerard.
It was just like any other kiss they’d ever shared, but Gerard knew it wasn’t gonna stay that way for long.
Frank pulled away for just a second, and kissed him again, this time capturing Gerard’s bottom lip between his. Slowly, very slowly, Frank parted his lips. Gerard wanted to pull away like he’d become accustomed to, but Frank gripped him tightly.
Gerard accidently moaned gently when Frank ran the very tip of his tongue over his lip. Frank broke to kiss to laugh softly.
“I’m sorry,” Gerard said, blushing.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s normal.”
“Do you feel like a Sex Ed teacher?”
“Kinda. Are you okay?”
Gerard nodded. “I’m good. You can keep going.”
“Okay.”
Frank leaned in again, and kissed Gerard again, this time opening his mouth a little wider, and licking gently at Gerard’s lip. Gerard took the hint, and parted his lips, too. He was a little surprised when Frank crept his tongue slowly into Gerard’s mouth, but he didn’t pull away. He followed after Frank, moving his tongue like Frank was. He was shocked with how amazing it felt, and how fantastic of a kisser Frank was.
Gerard finally broke the kiss reluctantly when he needed to breathe.
“You okay?” Frank asked, breathless.
Gerard chuckled. “More than okay. You are ridiculously good at that.”
Frank smirked. “I know. Thanks. You know, for a beginner, you’re not so bad yourself. Now that I’ve successful taught you the finer points of making out, do you wanna go to sleep?”
Gerard smiled. “Hell no,” He said, grabbing Frank firmly and kissing him again.
He didn’t pull away this time.