We Are Broken

It's been a month now that I've been with Gerard and the boys of My Chemical Romance. I've managed to loose my shyness, although Frank still teases me about it. Mikey and I have continued my bass lessons, I can now play Mary Had A Little Lamb and Row Row Row Your Boat, which for me was quite a feat. It felt good to learn something new, and Gerard was happy for me. Although he still warned me about not becoming a looser like his brother.

My Chemical Romance was going on tour, and Gerard wanted me to come with them. I was really excited. I've never been away from home before, and I've never seen a live show before. I packed all that I needed, my clothing still fitting in one suite case. Frank had taken me shopping a couple of times, but I aways came home with only one outfit. It just felt weird to me coming home with more than what I really needed at the time. Frank tried to reassure me that it was okay, but I didn't mind. I also brought my art supplies and my favorite book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It was very used and extremely abused, but I love it. The boys gave me the back area of the bus, the one that they used for their recording area. I told them that I was fine sleeping on the floor, but they would not hear of it.

I was currently sitting on the booth seat across from Mikey, playing Phase 10. I was currently three phases ahead, getting ready to complete it. Gerard sat next to me, watching us play, he was amazed that Mikey - the My Chemical Romance champion - was loosing to a twelve year old. I collected one more card, and cheered, "Boom baby! Phase nine completed."

"What!"

I laughed, "Take that, My Chemical Romance champion!"

"That's not even fair!"

Gerard laughed, "Fair is fair, bro."

I looked out the window and saw the town I've known forever slink away. It felt weird knowing that I wasn't home, and that I wouldn't be for the entire summer. We were on our way to Atlantic City where we would be meeting up with the members of Green Day, the band they were opening for. I was amazed. Green Day was another favorite of mine. Not a much of a favorite as my father's band, but still a favorite. To took us a few hours to get there, I managed to read the first five chapters for Harry Potter allowed to the guys - they saw me reading it and made me start over. When we got there, there was already a line formed with people waiting for the venue to open. I walked with my dad, huddling into him mainly because I was nervous for not knowing what to do.

We went to a back stage area where they were to hang until the concert started. I sat in a chair and watched as they went from every day mode to concert mode. Mikey sat and played his bass, his eyes were closed and his foot keeping the beat. My dad and Frank were putting on makeup. My father had a white face with a black line running down the right side, down his neck and into his shirt. His eyes were heavily lined and his long hair was all messed up. After he finished his look he, Ray, and Frank warmed up their voices, singing the chorus to their songs, and doing sirens. A knock came at the door an hour later and the guys were lead to the stage. I followed - mainly because Gerard told me to - and I stood off to the side as they took the stage. The crowd cheered as they saw the movement in the dark, and as soon as they placed the first note the lights started to slowly come up. Gerard had his back to the audience as he sang the beginning of Helena, as soon as it picked up, the lights flared to life and he turned to face the audience.

I watched, feeling the bass in my chest, it was amazing. I smiled as I watched my dad, my uncle and the others play their hearts out. I was joined by a group of three guys, and looking up my jaw dropped. Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool were standing around me, watching my dad play.

"Hey," said Billie over the music, "What's up?"

"Hi," I replied, "Um... just watching them play."

"You a fan?"

"Kind of."

"I meant of us."

I laughed, "Yes."

"Nice to meet ya, I'm Billie."

"Maura."

"What," Tre asked, "I'm Tre, what's your name?"

"Maura."

"I'm Mike!"

"Maura!"

I laughed. I turned back to watching Gerard sing. He caught me off stage and winked at me, and that surreal feeling that, yes, this was my father, and yes this was his job. Billie Joe saw the wink and said, "Are you with them?"

"Yeah."

"Are you a relative?"

The song ended, and before I could answer, Gerard started talking, "Okay you guys, I can't keep it quiet. I know we just started to play, but I want to introduce someone very, very, very special to me." Mikey came up to the microphone and waved, "Not you dip shit." Going back to his spot, Mikey hung his head trying to look upset. "No. I've only know her for a month, and I've enjoyed every minute of it.... So what do you say? Do you want to meet her?"

My heart stopped beating. Gerard looked off stage at me and I shook my head.

"Guys, I want you to meet my daughter."

Billie Joe, Mike, and Tre all gasped and looked at me. I slowly walked out as the crowd cheered confused out of their minds. I went over to my dad, who gave me a one armed hug and a kiss on the top of my head. He handed me the microphone and said, "Say hi."

"Hey everyone," I said. Everyone said Hi back.

"Do you guys want to hear her sing?" Gerard ran off to get another mike, and came back to me. Frank, Mikey, and Ray started the next song and it was my favorite My Chemical Romance song of their two albums. I'm Not Okay (I Promise) I looked at Gerard, and he started singing:

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took.
Remember when you broke your foot, from jumping out the second floor.

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

Gerard nodded at me and I sang:

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems.
I've told you time, and time again, you sing the words but don't know what it means.
To be a joke and look another line without a hook.
I've held you close as we both shook, for the last time, take a good hard look!

And together we sang:

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

Gerard danced with me as the guitars played for a while, and when it was time to come in Gerard sang:

Forget about the dirty looks, the photograph your boyfriend took.
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed.

I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay now.

But you really need to listen to me.
Believe me I tell you this.
I really mean this I'm okay!

And I yelled:

I'm fine!

Then Gerard joined me:

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
Well I'm not okay.
I'm not o-fucking-kay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.

The crowd was cheering as my dad and I finished. He held up his hand I and high fived it. Giving me a hug, he took the microphone from me and I ran back off stage, after giving Mikey a hug, and high fiving Ray, Frank, and Bob.