Forest Secrets

That evening I sat alone while I ate dinner, the pasta and meatballs I had grabbed hardly seemed appetizing in that moment; Samantha had refused to talk to me after the outburst I had earlier, and the Friends she was sitting with kept turning around to glare at me every so often, their thoughts pounding in my brain.

‘What a weirdo’

‘She even looks crazy.’

‘Aww poor little loner sitting by herself.’

They were saying to themselves, I had enough of hearing about it; it had only grown louder in my ears and was difficult to drown out. It seemed like everyone had something to think of me; it was terrifying.

“Just leave me alone!” I stood up screaming and everyone around me looked up at me in astonishment. I ran out of the cafeteria as fast as I could to avoid making an even bigger fool of myself. I turned a corner and bashed right into the boy from earlier, I thought he was going to be angry but he just looked at me in concern.

“Are you okay?” He asked, trying to comfort me.

“They won’t stop; the voices won’t stop.” I repeated knowing no matter what he was going to think I was crazy anyway; but he just looked surprised to himself.

“Hey, what voices; look at me.” He placed a hand under my chin and lifted my face up to look at him; he seemed like he knew something that I didn’t.

“I don’t know, I don’t… feel very good.” I muttered feeling light headed and started to slump over onto the ground.

“C’mon, let’s get you to the nurse.” He slid an arm around me, and helped me inside to get checked out by the nurse.

***

“Have you had any panic attacks before this?” A nurse questioned me as she took my temperature upon arrival to the clinic.

“I used to, when I was younger… and recently they’ve been starting up again.”

“Hmm… may I suggest you sign up for the guidance counselor, they can help you with all sorts of things, such as your school work, relationships, friends, and any other personal problems that may arise.” She suggested handing me a sheet of paper which listed all of the times the counselor was available.

“I’ll look into it.”

“Take these for the next two weeks before bed, they will keep you calm and help you sleep at night.” She said handing me a pill bottle with some sleeping pills.

The strange boy had left as soon as he dropped me off at the clinic, he said he had somewhere to be but would try and check on me later; I made my way up to my room hoping I wouldn’t have to deal with anything else going wrong that night.

Sighing, I turned my key in the lock of my dorm room; I hoped that Samantha wouldn’t be here that would be the last thing I needed.

“Crazy bitch.” Samantha muttered as I walked in taking my jacket off and placing it on the coat hanger next to the door.

I just rolled my eyes at her and walked over to my bed kicking off my shoes as I sat down.

“You done being a bitch at least?” She snorted watching my every move.

“Only if you are.” I retorted back to her picking up my sketchpad and starting to draw.

‘I’ll take that as a no.’ She thought to herself going back to painting her nails a bright pink color.

I glared at her while she had her back turned, if she wanted to play that game I was going to play it back; I was always told two wrongs don’t make a right but she was just getting on my nerves. So I looked at her nail polish remover that was sitting exposed on her desk and concentrated as much as I could, after a few seconds it tipped over spilling its contents everywhere.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” She screamed jumping up catching the bottle before it could make more of a mess. “Fuck sakes, now the carpet is going to reek!”

I just laughed to myself in amusement as she scrubbed the carpet to try and get the alcohol smell out the best that she could, she was clearly annoyed at having to do so. Yet, I didn’t care other than hearing her bitch about it.

I grabbed my sketchbook off of my desk and started drawing until I felt the medication beginning to take a hold of me and drifted off into a deep sleep.

***

“Pick two electives for this semester and the rest will be mandatory classes in which you will need at most 60% to advance to the next class in that section.” The instructor told the group of freshman art students anxiously listening to the presentation.

Yawning to myself I tried my hardest to pay attention to what was being said, yet it proved difficult due to the limited sleep I acquired last night. Samantha had decided it was a great idea to be on her phone talking until almost two in the morning, it wasn’t just a quiet conversation either it was loud and obnoxious. So I purposely was very loud this morning while getting ready, living with her was not going to be a fun time.

The instructor passed out papers to the group to choose our elective courses, I waited while they were being passed around and checked my phone and noticed I had about 5 messages from Taylor that were un read.

‘Heeeyyy college girl, how are things going?’

‘Omg I went on a date with that guy. He’s so hot, he has a hot tub. ZOMG!’

‘Did you die or something, LOL. Saw your aunt at the supermarket yesterday, she was with that guy she was dating last year. EVER SURPRISING!’

‘You’ve only been gone like barely 48 hours and I miss you. You better text me back you bitch.’

‘I honestly think I’m going to marry this guy, he has his own apartment in the rich side of town! Woop woop!’

I laughed as I read her messages, typical Taylor to get over excited about a boy she just started seeing. I replied back to her text messages before she got worried even more about me.

‘Hey girl, sorry I didn’t reply back to your texts sooner. I’m not dead LOL I’ve just been super busy with everything here. My roommate is such a bitch, I’ve only been here a day and already I’m ready to strangle her! UGH! I’m glad you’re happy with that guy just be careful he’s not a dick or I’ll castrate him! LOL anyway I GTG, sitting in a boring presentation and about to pick my electives, call me later xoxox!’

I pressed send just as the elective paper made its way over to me; I looked through it before making my decision. Deciding on a photography course and a music course as I figured those would be interesting and different.

“Once your papers have been filled out, you are free to go for the day; just make sure you hand them to me on the way out of the auditorium. Your schedules will be posted on your online account by tomorrow; classes will begin Monday morning at 8 am. Have a nice weekend and don’t be shy to email me if any concerns arise!”

Making my out of the auditorium I handed my elective paper to the professor, he glanced at it then smiled up at me.

“I had seen your submission; I am very excited to be working with you this semester. You have quite a talent young lady.”

“Thank you very much; I’m looking forward to being in your class.” He smiled and I left the room heading to the counselor’s office to talk about making an appointment with one as the nurse suggested I do so.

“Hi, I’d like to make an appointment with a counselor.” I informed the receptionist as I walked into the office.

“Did you want to speak to one now? They’re taking walk in appointments for the next few days.” She expressed to me as she typed something in on the computer.

“Yes, that would work.”

“Alright, please take a seat and I’ll have one call to you when she’s ready.” She motioned to the chairs behind me.

Sitting down I looked through my Facebook as I waited to be called, I noticed that Taylor’s relationship status went quickly from ‘Single’ to ‘In a relationship’. Well that was fast, that girl doesn’t know when to slow it down sometimes.

I checked my messages and saw that I had a message from someone I didn’t know, they didn’t even have a profile picture and there name was just a bunch of random symbols that didn’t make any sense. I was almost afraid to open the message, but curiosity got the best of me and I did anyway.

‘Stay away from the forest if you know what’s good for you.’ A shiver went down my spine as I read that I didn’t understand what forest they were talking about.

‘Who is this, and what forest are you talking about?’ I replied in fear not sure I wanted to know the answer to that question.

“Jewel Hamilton?” I heard a voice say my name, my head shot up and saw a young woman with dirty blond hair and a small frame standing at the door, and she must have been my counsellor.

“Yes, that’s me.” I stuttered getting up and walking towards her.

“Follow me sweetie, would you like a glass of water?” She had a soft spoken voice that showed she truly cared about my wellbeing.

Being nervous, I declined the glass of water even though there was a dry scratchy sensation overwhelming my throat. I ignored it and continued making my way into the room she had pointed out to me, it was a fair size and had a comforting sensation as I walked into it. There were three chairs placed throughout the room and she had many photographs of her family and inspirational quotes on the walls.

“Please make yourself comfortable dear.” I sat down in the chair across from her; I took off my purse and placed it behind me on the counter. “What brings you in here to see me today?”

“Well, I uhm had a panic attack yesterday and it has been happening a lot lately. I have also been having these strange hallucinations that I can’t understand, I thought maybe at first it was nerves but I’m truly happy to be here so I don’t understand why I would be having them because of that. I also don’t get along at all with my roommate; she’s very inconsiderate of my feelings and space.” I confessed trying to get most of what I was feeling out into the open.

“Well, it is only your second day here so I can understand if there is some nervousness you are still feeling and that’s perfectly okay. As for the roommate situation, you can apply to get your own room if it really comes down to it, also have you been feeling depressed at all lately?”

“A little bit, I have a history of depression and bipolar in my family. I’ve been almost ignoring it lately.” I told her and she wrote it down in the notebook she was holding.

“Enlighten me more about these hallucinations that you’ve been having.” She probed wanting to know more, I was hesitant to tell her because I didn’t want her to think I was crazy.

“For the longest time, I’ve been seeing this boy he’s surrounded by fire and it seems like he’s trying to tell me something. I don’t understand what it means I don’t know anyone that this would relate to.”

“It could possibly be your subconscious telling you that you don’t need to worry about being away from home and those things are going to fall into place.” She suggested listening to me intently as I spoke.

I shrugged think that could be the case but I still wasn’t sure.

“Well what I recommend is that we continue seeing each other every two weeks so that you’re not over whelmed with everything that’s going on, and if you would like I have a support group every two weeks as well.” She informed me; I declined the offer for the support group for now but decided if I needed will attend.

“Great, see you then Jewel. You can email me if you need to, and my doors are always open if you need to talk.” She said as I got up to leave.

I left her office feeling like the entire thing was useless and she wasn’t going to be able to help me with what was going on; I walked down the hall and saw that the library was open.

“How are you feeling?” I heard a voice from behind me ask.

I turned around and noticed that the boy was standing by the library door; he was smiling and appeared happy to see me.

“A little bit better, the counsellor was useless.” I admitted feeling defeated.

“You’ll be alright, what’s your name anyway?” He asked me.

“Oh, I’m Jewel Hamilton; and yourself?”

“Joshua Parsons; nice to meet you Jewel.” He said extending his hand out, his hands where cold; he had the bluest of blue eyes I had ever seen. “You look familiar.”