Drunk

When I pulled Harry into the house there were only a few people littering the living room and Ashton, as usual, was already fast asleep on my couch with permanent marker all over his face.

I was the perfect amount of drunk I loved to be. I had a warmth radiating from the pit of my stomach and a calm in my bones that made me forget to fidget or care. It felt easier to breathe deeply and laugh at things that weren't all that funny.

Harry's cheeks were flushed and I was sure he hadn't stopped smiling since his last drink. Had I been sober, I'd have asked him if his face was hurting yet but I wasn't and maybe that's why when I led him to the guest room, I followed him in and closed the door behind myself.

He looked so adorable and disheveled with his hair in every direction from running his hands through it and the hole I'd burnt in his shirt and when he took two steps closer and put one hand on my waist and brought another to cup my face, pressing his lips firmly to mine I found myself hoping he'd keep the shirt even though it was ruined just because I had been the one to ruin it.

He pushed me backwards a little with, what I assumed was the intention to lean me against the wall but instead the door knob dug into my back and I let out a yelp. Harry pulled away, alarmed for a minute until he realized what happened and let out a little laugh with his lips still close enough to mine to feel his breath fan across my face. I half heartily punched him in the chest muttering "Dick." And he laughed apologies into my mouth around little kisses.

He tasted faintly of the mint gum he was always annoyingly smacking and the Jack he'd consumed but his skin was warm pressed against mine and his hair smelt like the ocean and I wanted him.
So I pulled him a little closer and kissed him a little harder, tracing the bottom of his lips with my tongue until he let me in. I slid my hands from where they had been resting at the back of his neck and slid them down to the front of his chest and started working on the buttons blindly with Harry's lips pressed into mine hard enough to bruise and his hands roaming my body making every inch of it feel hot.

Finally I got annoyed with the shirt to the point I just pulled it apart to pop the last few open and at least two of them came off the shirt all together Harry pulled away from me and rest his forehead against mine with a lazy smirk he mumbled something on the lines of 'You really hate the shirt that bad?'

I didn't hate the shirt at all really. I found his sense of style endearing even though he looked half homeless most of the time, but I'd never admit that to him so I just looked off as if heavily contemplating it before looking back at him with a shrug. "I'd rather you without a shirt."

I reached up to his shoulders and helped him shrug it off. He watched it fall to the floor before bring himself closer to me and planting his hands under the hem of my now untucked shirt. I could feel his fingers itching to crawl up my sides but still he took a deep breath and rest his forehead back against mine before breathing out "You want this?"

I gave him my firmest 'yes' expecting him to push it and make a comment about our various states of inebriation but I was sober enough to know that I wanted this. He just gulped and nodded bringing his hand up to my jaw and tilting my head back to press a hard kiss to my lips. His other hand pushed my shirt up on one side until his other hand rested on my ribs. I reached for the hem and pulled it off altogether wondering if he could feel my heart pounding from where his hand rested. He took a split second after my shirt was removed to look at me before attaching his lips to my neck, leaving a hot trail down to my shoulder he breathed into my neck "God your-" but before he could finish, I brought my hand to the back of his hair, yanking his lips back to mine. I was terrified he would say something that make me too nervous to continue. That he would put too much pressure on what I was determined to just be sex when I wanted this so bad it was already threatening to make my hands shake.

We spent a moment like that, just kissing and nipping and feeling the newly exposed skin when I trailed my fingers down to his jeans and popped the button open unzipping them slowly. However my attempts to push them down were in vain and I eventually pulled back a little, raising one brow at him. "Styles, I'm a little concerned with how hard it is to get your pants off."

"Yet you want them off so badly." He smirked before pushing them down and practically crushing me back against the door his leg slotted between mine so that I could feel him through his boxers against my legs.

He lowered his hands to the back of my thighs mumbling "Up."

I did what he asked without much questioning but he only got about three steps before we tumbled to the ground on side of the bed and I looked back to see what he could have possibly tripped over only to see he'd never bothered to take his pants completely off and they were still restricting his feet. I looked back at him to find a sheepish grin. I rested my forehead against his letting out a breathy laugh.

"I just keep mucking this up."

I shook my head a little before I stood up, allowing him to kick his pants off before pulling him up to stand. He immediately wrapped me up in his arms, kissing me much softer than before pulling back a little every few seconds before meeting my lips again just as softly. I sat down on the bed, pulling him to lie over me and for once his heat didn't overwhelm me. It felt like it seeped through my skin and warmed my bones and I had never felt this comfortable before.

I couldn't help but notice the way he paused once we were laying down. He didn't kiss me and both his hands were rested on either side of my head. He was just looking at me, the necklaces he always wore dangling down to graze my chest.

"What's the matter?"

He sighed deeply and glanced to the side before bringing his eyes back to mine. "The fall sobered me up and I'm a bit nervous if I'm being honest." He admitted reluctantly, glancing away again and bringing one of his hands to pull roughly through his hair.

I smiled a little to myself. I had never seen a boy remotely close to nervous to have sex with me and it dawned on me that it was because none of them cared and Harry did. I thought for a split second that this had gone too far and I should call it off right then and there, throw him out and never speak to him again but then I wondered if it was really all that bad to have someone like Harry care about you and I found myself pulling his hand away from the back of his head.

"You've got this." I smirked and he returned it.

One eyebrow raised in a challenge he asked. "I've got this?"

I simply nodded. biting my lip.

"You're giving me a pep talk before we have sex?" He questioned, still smirking.

I rolled my eyes but trail my fingers down his abs and across his boxers before laying my hand flat and cupping his member through his boxers rubbing slow circles. The smirk fell from his lips and his breathing grew shallow. I leaned forward, propping myself up on my elbows making sure my lips grazed his ear when I whispered "How’s that for a pep talk?"

He gulped loudly, hanging his head so that his lips where just barely ghosting mine when he said "S'great."

"Yeah?" I asked, smirking as I dragged my fingers slowly back up to the waist band of his boxers and dipped my hand in to grab his bare length. He let out a deep sound in the back of his throat, dropping his head to the crook of my neck.

He brought his arm up my back, fumbling with the clasp for only a moment before successfully undoing my bra and I pulled my hand out of his pants so he could pull it down my arms. Once I'd laid back and let my head hit the pillow the air had somehow shifted and all the playfulness from earlier had seemingly disappeared and been replaced with raw want. Harry pressed his lips to mine hard trailing his fingers up and down my sides grabbing and kneading at the flesh in places. I made an embarrassing half whimper half moan noise into his mouth when he brought his hand up to my breast. I couldn't even berate myself when he pulled away from my lips with a smug smile, showing just how pleased he was to get a reaction out of me because I just wanted him so badly it had me nervous.

He brought his lips down to my jaw and moved from there, nipping and sucking down my neck and to my collarbone, smiling all the way. I wanted to reach up and smack the side of his head for being smug but all my hands could seem to do was pull him closer until there was no space left between us. Until we were all but zipped up in the same skin.

He trailed his fingers down my ribs and across my stomach all the way to the zipper of my shorts. He popped the button off effortlessly and pulled them down my legs and added them to the pile of clothes on the floor. Harry's eyes left mine to skate down my body and back up to my face and I had never had someone look at me that way. It was terrifying and thrilling all at once.

Wanting some semblance of control when he was looking at me like that, I grabbed his shoulders and turned him over quickly so that his head was against the pillow and I rested on his lap with nothing but two layers of underwear separating us. I pressed my lips to his hard and ground my hips down against him, gaining a throaty moan. He brought his hands down between us to press his palm flat against my center over my underwear and moved it in painfully slow circles. I found myself practically rutting against him to cause more friction but it wasn't enough. He broke our kiss to look around for a moment and knowing what he was looking for I saved him the trouble of getting up to find his pants by pulling my drawer open on the bedside table and producing a tiny foil packet.

He sat up leaning back against the head board as he pulled his boxers off and discarded them, exposing himself to me completely. Then he leaned forward a little, hooking his index fingers on either side of my panties and pulling them down slowly. He brought his hand up to cup my face and pulled me in for a slow kiss, dipping his tongue into my mouth taking small sips as I opened the packet and slid the condom down his length slowly before crawling forward a little lining him up with my entrance and sinking down on him slowly. He pulled his lips from mine at the contact and let his head fall against the headboard mumbling "Shit." Under his breath.

I stayed still for a moment, allowing him to get his bearings and myself to adjust to the stretch before I started rolling my hips against him slowly. I pushed his hair off his forehead before running my nails down his chest, watching as it rose and fell quickly as he took deep shallow breath. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were wild and he looked completely different to me than I think he ever had before.

After a moment he seemed regain some composure as he grabbed my wrist twisting us around so that we were sideways across my bed and he was hovering over me. He entered me again quickly and brought his head down to rest in the crook of my neck rolling into me with long deep thrusts.

"Christ, you feel so fucking good." I heard him mumble in between a string of other things I couldn't make out.

He brought his hand down between and started rubbing quick tight circles around my clit that made my head spun and my hips twitch and my hands claw at his back in an effort to draw him impossibly closer.

Moments later when we were both laying side by side coming down from our highs, I knew I was supposed to leave. I should've left but instead I found myself laying with my head on his chest, listening as his heartbeat slowed and his breathing returned to normal. I let him trace absent circle on hip for at least half an hour, not saying anything just letting the warmth he radiated wrap me up until his breathing evened out and his fingers stopped moving but remained where they were against my bare skin.

It wasn't until Harry was fast asleep, thinking he'd wake up to me in the morning that I eased out of the bed that smelt like us and had a little sand that we had somehow carried in from the beach and pulled my clothes back on and crept back across the hall to my own bed to sleep alone.

I wanted so badly to explain to him that I had learned self-preservation as an extinct that when it came down to fight or flight I would always fly because I wasn't half the girl I had built myself up to be to him and everyone else and when he looked at me, no matter how vehemently he denied it, he expected things I wouldn't be able to give in the end. I wanted to explain to him that his body weight on me in the middle of the night would feel more like pressure than comfort but I just tucked myself into bed alone because I wasn't half as brave as I let on.