Drunk

I was semi- sort of avoiding Harry. I didn't mean to but I couldn't help it. Last Saturday after I left him in the guest room, a brick materialized in my chest making it feel somewhat hard to breath and my room was too close to where I left him panting and half naked in the guest room, so I ended up downstairs with people I could mostly hardly stand and ate what was left of the pot brownies to try to calm the buzzing in my head and the shaking in my fingers.

I woke up annoyed with his dimply grin in my face as he announced to Cammi and Caleb that I was in fact alive. His smug smile and slow syrupy voice did nothing but irritate me and I know it confused him when I was snippy and refused breakfast, making a hasty exit with nowhere in particular to even go but he didn't try to stop me.

Monday, he texted me good morning as had become our routine but I didn't answer. So for the rest of the week he resorted to just going ahead and adding on the good things about his morning to his initial good morning text and even though I didn't answer, he still sent one every morning.
I couldn't tell if his persistence was endearing or agitating.

I couldn't formulate a legitimate reason to be avoiding him in my mind, aside from the lame excuse that I attempted to rip his clothes off Saturday, but I knew had I stuck around Harry wouldn't have been in the least bit awkward.

So I didn't have much except the claim that I didn't want to, except that I did I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Something about mine and Harry's thing felt too personal for my liking but I couldn't stop it. I wanted it as much as I didn't and it was confusing to the point of suffocation, so I just told myself I was breathing. I was ignoring him to have chance to catch my breath.

When Cammi woke me up looking as panicked as my mother did when she spotted one of her ex-husbands in public, I was not in the mood.

"My parents will be here in twenty minutes." She hissed trying to shake me awake.

"Shit." I muttered attempting to swat her away. "Couldn't have given me more of a heads up?"

She gave me an unimpressed look that conveyed she'd been attempting to wake me up for a while.
Cammi's parents weren't my biggest fans. I couldn't blame them really. I mean, I did help Cammi steal her dad’s car that one time and I got drunk once and accidentally broke their Christmas tree one year but in my defense it was like two days after Christmas, so they didn't have much use left for it but they were absolutely stuffy and rude and judgmental and how they produced Cammi and Caleb was beyond me. They literally had not even the slightest clue of Caleb's sexual orientation and they just over all made my nerves terrible so I made it a point to bolt before they made it over for their Monthly Sunday Brunch.

"Get up!" Cammi grunted one last time, smacking me with a pillow before leaving.
I groaned and grabbed my head throbbing with a hangover. The problem with these Sunday brunches was that they happened after Saturdays.

I had just finished showering and throwing a red plaid flannel with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows and denim shorts, threw my hair up in a bun, gathered my belongings and was walking down the stairs when there was a knock. I paused mid step with my eyes wide and turned right on a dime heading back upstairs to hide until they left when I heard Cammi's same frantic voice she greeted me in this morning.

"What are you two doing here? You can't be here!"

Poor Zayn looked offended and deeply so.

"We thought we'd surprise you guys."

Cammi looked utterly exhausted.

"My parents are supposed to be here like now. Everyone out. You too, Kinny."

This is when Harry noticed me. His green eyes popped to meet mine and his expression was a little flat, but I just shrugged.

"I have to grab something from my room but meet me in the car?"

"I'm driving." Was all he said before grabbing a confused Zayn and turning to leave.

Cammi shot him an apologetic look and an 'I'll call you later.' Before turning to shoot me a look that said 'Move it.'

I ran back upstairs and grabbed a few movies before rushing back down stairs. My plan had originally been to go to my mom’s, but she had a date the night before and if it went remotely well she probably wouldn't be home yet.

Harry's car was probably a step above mine only for the fact it was mostly still intact on the inside and it wasn't half as dirty as mine. Whereas I couldn't give less fucks about it, it appeared Harry cleaned and vacuumed his car at least once a week.

Zayn spent the ride sulking and glued to his phone and Harry focusing on the road and avoiding looking at me. Probably agitated that I hadn't spoken to him.



Harry is not the person you want to watch a movie for the first time with. He comments on absolutely everything and announces a new theory for what’s gonna happen every five seconds. Personally, I always prefer to watch a movie for the first time alone in my room in the dark for the full effect, but I love watching something I've already seen with someone who hasn't just for the fact of knowing things they don't. I like to know what's coming and look at their faces as they react.

We started with The Hunger Games. I watched Zayn and Harry heatedly argue over whether Peeta was gonna die. Zayn swore Peeta was going to die so that Katniss could end up with Gale while Harry insisted that in the end she'd fall in love with Peeta and Gale would actually die.

I informed them that the guy doesn't necessarily die if he didn't get the girl. They both looked at me like I had two heads before Harry asked if I was saying Peeta didn't get the girl or die, to which I just shrugged and told them that I hadn't a clue because all the movies weren't out. They weren't the happiest about that.

I was on the floor messing with the DVD player to put another movie in when I heard Zayn lean forward in his chair and clear his throat.

I turned to him with eyebrows raised, almost certain this was probably the first time he had attempted to directly address me.

"Why doesn't Cammi want me to meet her parents?" I snorted a little but regretted it when his face fell. I never claimed to be the best with people.

"No, no. I swear I didn't mean it like that. You don't want to meet her parents." I tried to explain, stumbling on my words and scratching at my wrist out of habit.

"They're judgey and stuffy and boring. She was sparing you. Why do you think i was practically running to leave? I'm not even sure they know I live there if I'm being honest." I was sat cross legged on the floor in front of the recliner he was in and I could feel Harry's eyes set on my face as I talked.

"Why does it matter so much to you anyway?" I asked then backtracked a little realizing how it sounded. "I mean what even are you guys?" I scratched at my wrist a little harder, realizing that sounded generally no better.

"Well I mean- I guess - well I don't know. I like her a lot - I mean, don't you
two talk about this, like amongst each other?" He stuttered out and I looked down at my hands.

"Usually I guess but I haven't been much to talk to this week." I Mumbled. "Been busy." And while the busy part was a lie, I honestly hadn't been much to talk to. It'd been like I was on autopilot all week. I felt Harry's eyes on me hard at the statement and by this point, I was sure there should be claw marks on my arms.

"If you really like her and you want to be more than you are, then tell her. I’m sure she wouldn't object." I tried my best at a reassuring smile. "But if you fuck it up I'll set your car on fire."

"Wouldn't dare." He flashed me a bright smile before leaving the room to take a nap.

When I returned to the couch Harry touched me for the first time all day. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side.

"I don't get it." Harry groaned about fifteen minutes into Elizabethtown.

I rolled my eyes at him. "He's trying to kill himself Harry."

"Obviously. But why is he tying a knife to a bloody exercise machine? Why not just shoot himself?"
"It's poetic Harry, you obviously wouldn't understand." I jested, grinning up at him from my heads position on his shoulder.

"Oi! I'm an artist!" he defended.

"Shall we watch Titanic then?" I asked, moving away from him to dramatically sprawl out over the rest of the length of the couch laying on my side with my head propped up to look at him. "Paint me like one of your French girls, Jack." I cooed.

"You've been waiting to make that joke since the moment you met me, haven't you?" He asked, smiling widely as he crawled over me and slotted himself between my legs.

I smiled and bit my lip to try to hold back a smile, nodding a little.

"You couldn't sit still long enough." He commented, smiling back down at me.

"No. “I challenged. “But I could take my clothes off."

Harry's face went suddenly serious at this. "Are we gonna talk about why you avoided me all week?"
I pushed him to sit up so I could have space to breath in the sudden serious atmosphere. He got off me and sat up and I sat cross legged facing him. "I wasn't avoiding you.” I mumbled, looking down at my hands.

He saw right through it.

"Look if last weekend made you uncomfortable I just want you to know that this whole friends that kiss thing is nice, really nice. I like kissing you and if you wanna do more...” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Then that's great too but I would never expect anything..." he was flustered and it was adorable but also I was annoyed with where he was taking this.

"Harry, I wouldn't do anything I didn't want to." I scoffed. "I'm grown and this is my body and I do what I want with it."

He could probably sense my annoyance because he huffed, his shoulders hunching a little. "I know. I'd just hate to think I made you uncomfortable." He sounded so sincere it almost hurt.
Harry was blaming himself. He was too nice and he liked me too much and I just knew I was going to screw this up.

"It wasn't that at all." I shook my head at him slowly. "I just I need space from everyone sometimes just to breathe a little. It had nothing to do with what did or didn't happen." I reassured him, leaning in and pecking his lips. "It's all fine really."

It's all fine really. I kept telling myself through the whole movie he insisted on starting over.