Swan Song
Angel
I’ve never forgotten about you…I don’t think I ever will. Each and every night I am reminded of you, how beautiful you were; how elegantly you danced. Your ghostly figure twirls about my room and graces my dreams every night, frightening me with your gaze, so breathtakingly dead. I know you’ll never leave and sometimes it comforts me. I like to think you stay with my wretched self because despite what I had done, you’ve come to adore me as I do you. It took nothing more than a single pirouette on your white satin slippers for me to fall madly in love and I just wanted that love to be returned. Do you hear me when I say these words? I didn’t intend to hurt you, I just wanted to be with you forever and in that regretful moment I lost sight of what we are meant to do when we yearn to show our affection.
It’s just the moment I locked eyes with you, it was as if I knew exactly what went on inside of your pretty head. I believe it was the ever constant look of silence in your expression that initially seduced me because for once, I had found a companion. The reticence on your emotionless face was familiar. Even more than savoring your beauty, I longed to please you; to gaze upon someone like myself. You were a being that could make me happy beyond belief and I was so sure I could provide just the same for you. My desire to free you from whatever chains held you down was immense. Remember, my angel, that I was only trying to help.
I just wish you wouldn’t taunt me. Don’t you think I’ve suffered enough? I lost the one thing I loved. You are not cruel enough at heart to continue this torture. You’re far too soft.
You were always so delicate. Every step you took was calculated and practiced to perfection. There wasn’t a part of your life that had not been rehearsed and perhaps that is what had drained you. I’m not sure what has drained me, but I don’t deserve to know. I mourn for us. You will always be gone and I will always be lost. Such a tragic pair we are, my angel, and it’s all my fault. This haunts me more than imaginable.
I wish I had patience, y’know? Maybe then you would still be alive. Perhaps I could have heard the three words I longed from you more than anything. I’m so in love with you even now; the idea of you is captivating. The flawless porcelain skin of your body poisons my mind, my fingers achingly longing to stroke it. I fantasize of drawing my touch along your sharp collarbone and maybe kissing it a little bit. But when I see you in my dreams and I move to hold you in my arms you dance away, forever out of reach.
I’m sorry I failed you. You never deserved this fate and I miss you. If I could die, I would, but I don’t think I can. Not today. I want to dance your everlasting swan song with you, yet I fear I will be sent far away in death to pay for what I’ve done and that I will never see you again. I’m afraid of a life without you. I need you. If nightmares and illusions are what it takes to be at your side, I'll willingly suffer this heartbreak just to hold onto the last memories of my angel. I’ll love you forever.
It’s just the moment I locked eyes with you, it was as if I knew exactly what went on inside of your pretty head. I believe it was the ever constant look of silence in your expression that initially seduced me because for once, I had found a companion. The reticence on your emotionless face was familiar. Even more than savoring your beauty, I longed to please you; to gaze upon someone like myself. You were a being that could make me happy beyond belief and I was so sure I could provide just the same for you. My desire to free you from whatever chains held you down was immense. Remember, my angel, that I was only trying to help.
I just wish you wouldn’t taunt me. Don’t you think I’ve suffered enough? I lost the one thing I loved. You are not cruel enough at heart to continue this torture. You’re far too soft.
You were always so delicate. Every step you took was calculated and practiced to perfection. There wasn’t a part of your life that had not been rehearsed and perhaps that is what had drained you. I’m not sure what has drained me, but I don’t deserve to know. I mourn for us. You will always be gone and I will always be lost. Such a tragic pair we are, my angel, and it’s all my fault. This haunts me more than imaginable.
I wish I had patience, y’know? Maybe then you would still be alive. Perhaps I could have heard the three words I longed from you more than anything. I’m so in love with you even now; the idea of you is captivating. The flawless porcelain skin of your body poisons my mind, my fingers achingly longing to stroke it. I fantasize of drawing my touch along your sharp collarbone and maybe kissing it a little bit. But when I see you in my dreams and I move to hold you in my arms you dance away, forever out of reach.
I’m sorry I failed you. You never deserved this fate and I miss you. If I could die, I would, but I don’t think I can. Not today. I want to dance your everlasting swan song with you, yet I fear I will be sent far away in death to pay for what I’ve done and that I will never see you again. I’m afraid of a life without you. I need you. If nightmares and illusions are what it takes to be at your side, I'll willingly suffer this heartbreak just to hold onto the last memories of my angel. I’ll love you forever.
♠ ♠ ♠
xx