The Only Exception.
Two.
When I woke up, I went downstairs and made myself coffee before going back upstairs. I sat down at my desk with my laptop and used the power of Google to look up where the nearest gym with a swimming pool was. Luckily, it was right down the street and wasn't expensive for a membership. I finished my coffee, pulled my hair up into a ponytail, changed put a towel into my bag along with my other things and went downstairs.
"I'm going to the gym down the road," I said as I grabbed my long board from the hall closet.
"Alright love," my mom said, "Be careful."
"I will."
I left the house and long boarded to the gym, signed up and swam for about 2 hours before deciding I should leave before I become a complete prune. I dried off, put my shorts and shirt back on over my suit and rode home.
"Want to go to the beach with the guys and I?" Marianna asked as I walked into the door, being faced with her and the 4 boys.
"Uh yeah, let me go change."
I went upstairs and changed again before exchanging my towel for a dry one and going back downstairs.
"Alright," I said, "Are we driving?"
"Yeah," Marianna said.
I grabbed my keys, "Let's go then."
We all got into my car, Ashton taking passenger seat again. I drove us to the beach, parked and we all got out. Marianna ran straight into the water after taking off her shirt, shorts and shoes, followed by Luke, Calum and Michael. I laid out my towel and took off my cover up and laid down. Ashton sat down next to me. I took out my sunglasses from my bag and put them on.
"So, you went swimming?" he asked.
"Yeah, I swim every morning," I said, "I used to be competitive, but I stopped about a year ago."
"I used to be competitive too, state level."
"Oooh, fancy Ashton," I smiled, "We'll have to race someday."
"We will," he laughed, "So, I think Luke likes Marianna."
I lifted my sunglasses to look at him, "How old is he?"
"He just recently turned 18."
I put my sunglasses back down, "That's acceptable. Marianna needs someone to talk to. She doesn't know how to deal with what happened with our parent's."
"Do you? Know how to deal with it, that is?"
"This isn't the first time I've been drug through the mud by a guy I thought I could trust. So, kind of. Marianna was a daddy's girl, he never thought she could ever do anything wrong. She never disappointed him and they had a close relationship up until we found out about the affair. I've always been quite the opposite of her when it comes to our father."
"Why's that?"
"Because I'm the 'screw up' child. I had a lot of issues when I was younger, emotional and behavioral issues that is. My parent's were arguing a lot, and I knew even though Marianna seemed oblivious to it. So I found outlets that weren't very healthy," I said.
"So that explains..." he said and ran his fingers over my forearm and I felt him go across the scars on my arm.
"Yeah," I said, "And when that wasn't good enough anymore. I moved onto a very unhealthy sex life, right after I turned 16. I'm not proud of it, but I don't regret it."
"And that explains the things your dad said last night."
"Yes. My dad never forgave me for being reckless, for being so extremely un-Christian with my body. I believe in God, and I believe that he doesn't hate me for the mistakes I've made. My dad doesn't see it the same way as I do I guess. He has his own interpretation of it all, especially of how I dealt with things. He completely refuses to believe he had any role to play in my own self-destruction. Which I suppose is how he deals with it. But, ever since I was 13 years old, when I first started hating who I was, my dad hasn't look at me like his daughter. He's looked at me like my mum's daughter that he just has to take care of. So after a point, I stopped looking at him like my father, you know? Now he's just, the man my mum used to be married to."
"I understand," he nodded, "Are you okay now?"
I pulled my sunglasses up and looked at him.
"I mean..." he looked down at my arms, "You know."
I smiled, "I have bad days some times, and I think about it a lot. But, it's been a few weeks since I've done it. So you can say I'm okay. Borderline not okay, but, you know."
He nodded and I put my sunglasses back on and closed my eyes. I felt him drawing something on my arm, and I sat up slightly and took my sunglasses off again.
"Do you know about the butterfly project?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"It's where, when you feel like cutting, you're supposed to draw a butterfly on yourself and name it after someone you care about. And someone else can draw one on you, and those are even more special. You're supposed to let it fade naturally, if you cut before it's gone, you kill the butterfly and hurt the person who it's named after. So this one is named after me. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
I sat up completely and looked down at the butterfly drawn nicely on my arm. It was cute, and I liked it.
"Stand up," I said, getting off the towel.
"Why?"
"Just do it," I said.
He stood up and I stood on my tip toes and wrapped my arms around his neck in a hug. He hugged me back.
"Thank you," I said into his neck.
"You're welcome."
I excused myself early from dinner, only telling my mom what my plan was.
As soon as we had gotten back from the beach, I called a tattoo shop close by and made an appointment.
I went in and had the guy tattoo right over the pen that Ashton drew the butterfly in. He used the pen as his outline, because I wanted it exactly how it was. Then, inside the pattern on the right wing, I had him tattoo "Ash" so that it kind of blended in with the pattern in the wing. Afterwards, he put plastic wrap over it and I drove back home. I called Ashton.
"Hey, is everything alright?" he answered.
"Come open your front door, I have something to show you."
"Alright I'll be there in a second."
I hung up and a moment later the door opened. Ashton stood there with no shirt on, just a pair of joggers.
"Real cute Ash," I said as I walked past him into the house.
I looked around.
"What did you want to show me?" he asked as I held the sleeves of my cardigan over my hands.
"We should go into your room," I said.
He nodded and led the way. He closed the door behind me then sat on his bed. I sat down in front of him and looked around his room.
"Cute poster," I pointed to the One Direction poster hung on his wall.
"Callie what did you want to show me you're making me freak out."
"So, I did something, and you might freak out and think I'm a total idiot but-"
"You didn't..." he said with sad eyes.
"Oh, oh no Ash. Wow no, not that," I said.
"Thank God. So, what is it?"
I pulled up my sleeve, holding my arm up so only I could see it. I took off the plastic wrap and balled it up, sticking it into my bag before letting my arm down so he could see it.
A smile came across his face, "You got it tattooed?"
"Yeah," I smiled, "That way, it'll never come off, so I can never stop having your motivation and support."
"Come here," he opened his arm and I scooted closer and he hugged me, "You're such a strong girl Callie."
"I want to be."
"You already are."
After a little while, it was getting late.
"Anyways," I said, "I should probably get home, clean this and whatnot."
"Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," I smiled and got up from his bed.
He walked me to the door.
"Thank you, Ashton," I said.
"For what?"
"For listening, and for not judging me. It really means a lot."
He smiled, "You're welcome Callie. You're welcome to call or text or come over whenever if you need to talk."
"Thank you, one of these days you'll have to let me be the one to listen," I smiled.
"Alright."
I stood up on my tip toes and kissed his cheek.
"Have a goodnight Ash."
"You too Cal."
I smiled and turned around and walked next door.
"So let me see," my mom said with a smile as I walked into the kitchen.
I held my arm out to her.
"I love it baby, I'm glad you're making friends, especially ones that are good influences on you," she pulled me into a hug.
"So am I," I said, "I'm gonna go shower."
I went upstairs, showered, put the ointment on the tattoo, changed then finished putting my clothes away before going to sleep.
"I'm going to the gym down the road," I said as I grabbed my long board from the hall closet.
"Alright love," my mom said, "Be careful."
"I will."
I left the house and long boarded to the gym, signed up and swam for about 2 hours before deciding I should leave before I become a complete prune. I dried off, put my shorts and shirt back on over my suit and rode home.
"Want to go to the beach with the guys and I?" Marianna asked as I walked into the door, being faced with her and the 4 boys.
"Uh yeah, let me go change."
I went upstairs and changed again before exchanging my towel for a dry one and going back downstairs.
"Alright," I said, "Are we driving?"
"Yeah," Marianna said.
I grabbed my keys, "Let's go then."
We all got into my car, Ashton taking passenger seat again. I drove us to the beach, parked and we all got out. Marianna ran straight into the water after taking off her shirt, shorts and shoes, followed by Luke, Calum and Michael. I laid out my towel and took off my cover up and laid down. Ashton sat down next to me. I took out my sunglasses from my bag and put them on.
"So, you went swimming?" he asked.
"Yeah, I swim every morning," I said, "I used to be competitive, but I stopped about a year ago."
"I used to be competitive too, state level."
"Oooh, fancy Ashton," I smiled, "We'll have to race someday."
"We will," he laughed, "So, I think Luke likes Marianna."
I lifted my sunglasses to look at him, "How old is he?"
"He just recently turned 18."
I put my sunglasses back down, "That's acceptable. Marianna needs someone to talk to. She doesn't know how to deal with what happened with our parent's."
"Do you? Know how to deal with it, that is?"
"This isn't the first time I've been drug through the mud by a guy I thought I could trust. So, kind of. Marianna was a daddy's girl, he never thought she could ever do anything wrong. She never disappointed him and they had a close relationship up until we found out about the affair. I've always been quite the opposite of her when it comes to our father."
"Why's that?"
"Because I'm the 'screw up' child. I had a lot of issues when I was younger, emotional and behavioral issues that is. My parent's were arguing a lot, and I knew even though Marianna seemed oblivious to it. So I found outlets that weren't very healthy," I said.
"So that explains..." he said and ran his fingers over my forearm and I felt him go across the scars on my arm.
"Yeah," I said, "And when that wasn't good enough anymore. I moved onto a very unhealthy sex life, right after I turned 16. I'm not proud of it, but I don't regret it."
"And that explains the things your dad said last night."
"Yes. My dad never forgave me for being reckless, for being so extremely un-Christian with my body. I believe in God, and I believe that he doesn't hate me for the mistakes I've made. My dad doesn't see it the same way as I do I guess. He has his own interpretation of it all, especially of how I dealt with things. He completely refuses to believe he had any role to play in my own self-destruction. Which I suppose is how he deals with it. But, ever since I was 13 years old, when I first started hating who I was, my dad hasn't look at me like his daughter. He's looked at me like my mum's daughter that he just has to take care of. So after a point, I stopped looking at him like my father, you know? Now he's just, the man my mum used to be married to."
"I understand," he nodded, "Are you okay now?"
I pulled my sunglasses up and looked at him.
"I mean..." he looked down at my arms, "You know."
I smiled, "I have bad days some times, and I think about it a lot. But, it's been a few weeks since I've done it. So you can say I'm okay. Borderline not okay, but, you know."
He nodded and I put my sunglasses back on and closed my eyes. I felt him drawing something on my arm, and I sat up slightly and took my sunglasses off again.
"Do you know about the butterfly project?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"It's where, when you feel like cutting, you're supposed to draw a butterfly on yourself and name it after someone you care about. And someone else can draw one on you, and those are even more special. You're supposed to let it fade naturally, if you cut before it's gone, you kill the butterfly and hurt the person who it's named after. So this one is named after me. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
I sat up completely and looked down at the butterfly drawn nicely on my arm. It was cute, and I liked it.
"Stand up," I said, getting off the towel.
"Why?"
"Just do it," I said.
He stood up and I stood on my tip toes and wrapped my arms around his neck in a hug. He hugged me back.
"Thank you," I said into his neck.
"You're welcome."
I excused myself early from dinner, only telling my mom what my plan was.
As soon as we had gotten back from the beach, I called a tattoo shop close by and made an appointment.
I went in and had the guy tattoo right over the pen that Ashton drew the butterfly in. He used the pen as his outline, because I wanted it exactly how it was. Then, inside the pattern on the right wing, I had him tattoo "Ash" so that it kind of blended in with the pattern in the wing. Afterwards, he put plastic wrap over it and I drove back home. I called Ashton.
"Hey, is everything alright?" he answered.
"Come open your front door, I have something to show you."
"Alright I'll be there in a second."
I hung up and a moment later the door opened. Ashton stood there with no shirt on, just a pair of joggers.
"Real cute Ash," I said as I walked past him into the house.
I looked around.
"What did you want to show me?" he asked as I held the sleeves of my cardigan over my hands.
"We should go into your room," I said.
He nodded and led the way. He closed the door behind me then sat on his bed. I sat down in front of him and looked around his room.
"Cute poster," I pointed to the One Direction poster hung on his wall.
"Callie what did you want to show me you're making me freak out."
"So, I did something, and you might freak out and think I'm a total idiot but-"
"You didn't..." he said with sad eyes.
"Oh, oh no Ash. Wow no, not that," I said.
"Thank God. So, what is it?"
I pulled up my sleeve, holding my arm up so only I could see it. I took off the plastic wrap and balled it up, sticking it into my bag before letting my arm down so he could see it.
A smile came across his face, "You got it tattooed?"
"Yeah," I smiled, "That way, it'll never come off, so I can never stop having your motivation and support."
"Come here," he opened his arm and I scooted closer and he hugged me, "You're such a strong girl Callie."
"I want to be."
"You already are."
After a little while, it was getting late.
"Anyways," I said, "I should probably get home, clean this and whatnot."
"Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," I smiled and got up from his bed.
He walked me to the door.
"Thank you, Ashton," I said.
"For what?"
"For listening, and for not judging me. It really means a lot."
He smiled, "You're welcome Callie. You're welcome to call or text or come over whenever if you need to talk."
"Thank you, one of these days you'll have to let me be the one to listen," I smiled.
"Alright."
I stood up on my tip toes and kissed his cheek.
"Have a goodnight Ash."
"You too Cal."
I smiled and turned around and walked next door.
"So let me see," my mom said with a smile as I walked into the kitchen.
I held my arm out to her.
"I love it baby, I'm glad you're making friends, especially ones that are good influences on you," she pulled me into a hug.
"So am I," I said, "I'm gonna go shower."
I went upstairs, showered, put the ointment on the tattoo, changed then finished putting my clothes away before going to sleep.
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