Everything You Have Done to Me
Separations
Weekend. Finally fucking weekend. I was still thinking of the other day, when Danny came over and how amazing it was actually. Now and then some of my friends came to me and asked me about how I beat his ass or how he tried to push his wierdo music on me and I know that this is wrong and that I shouldn't have done this but I lied and told them that it was horrorble and that he's still the faggy we all suggested him to be. Truth to be told, I wanted to drown myself for saying that but I guess, I was just a coward, not brave enought to tell my so called "friends" the truth. And truth was: I liked Danny. I really did. Not in a romantic way but I really liked him as a friend and I hoped that he felt the same way but I was almost sure about that. Today I was going to meet Danny again but at his this time. School was just over and I was on my way back home when I spotted my mother in front of our house packing a big suitcase inside of her own car. As far as I could see, she looked really pissed and I wondered what happend and where she would go.
"Hey mum, what's going on?" I asked as soon as I got out of my car. "Your Dad is going on, Zoe!" she yelled desperate. "I'm sorry darling but I have to leave." she added, more calm and looked me straight in the eyes. "What?" I yelled "Why?" "Listen sweety." she held my shoulders with her hands "My Dad and I...we just can't handle each other anymore. It's not his fault, nor yours, nor your brothers, nor mine. It just doesn't work out anymore." tears were streaming down her cheeks by then. "So..." I whispered "You two are getting divorced?" I was crying as well. "Yes, Zoe." she said "I can visit you sometimes, can't I?" was the first thing which came into my mind. "Of course, my baby." a smile appeared on her face "Come on, give me a goodbye hug, love." and with that she hugged me thightly. It is wierd how fast one can change his or her oppinion about someone as soon as a situation gets serious. Earlier, I though things like "I don't want to see my so called "mother" ever again." or "I can't wait to leave that house." but when the moment of actually leaving finally comes one hopes that one can turn the time back. In that moment I realised, that I can't. I never realised how bad the relation between my Mum and Dad became until then. They didn't slept in the same room anymore. My Mum just came home really late and didn't even talked to my Dad. They only talked when they were fighting. I wondered how I could be so blind and in that moment, it was too late. I really hated myself for being so ignorant but I decided that i have to be strong and that I have to give my mother a proper goodbye. One, she would like to remember. "I hope you'll be happy, Mum. I really do." I whispered in between sobs. "You too, Zoe. If you ever find a guy you like, make sure to take the right decision and don't hesitate, no matter what other people say. If they prevent you from being happy, then they are not your friends. I made a good decision 24 years ago. I had a wonderful time with your Dad. He gave me you and your brother and that is the best present someone can make. I don't regret anything." those were the last words I heard from my mother for a very long time. She kissed my cheek one last time and then turned around and drove off. I was left behind, alone on the street in front of our house and watched after the car, until it disappered behind the horrizon. I stood there for some seconds longer before I made my way inside. My Dad sat on a chair in the kitchen, his head in his hands.
"Dad?" I said quietly. He lifted up his head, his eyes were puffy and red from the crying. I ran into him and hugged him thightly, only to start crying again. He hugged back immediately and I could hear his sobs which broke my heard. It allways hurted to see my Dad, the allways strong father, being in tears. We stayed like that for god knows how long. "Were you abel to talk to her before she left?" he asked after we separated again. "Yes, we separated for good." I answered "She said I can visit her whenever I want to." "That's good." with that he pattered my head and gave me a polite sighn that I should leave him allone for a bit which I did.
Making my way up the stairs, I felt my phone vibrating inside my pocket. As soon as a entered my rrom and closed the door, I pulled it out and checked it. It was a message from Danny. I almost forgot that I had to meet him that day.
Danny: Hey, when will you be here? :)
I thought about telling him what happened but instead of writing it, I would tell him later in person. So, I thought about that I had to do today but it was the weekend so, everything I could do today could be done the next day as well.
Zoe: Give me one hour ok? :)
Danny: Allready? Cool sure. cu :)
Zoe: cu :3
First thing I was going to do was asking my Dad whether me going out was ok for him. "Dad, I know it's a inappropiate moment but do you mind if I meet Danny today at his?" I asked, feeling ashamed somehow. "Of course not, darling. Have a good day." he said and forced a smile on his face. I smiled and kissed his cheek before going back upstairs, having a shower quickly and getting ready. I wore my black jeans which I ripped some week ago. I slowly got use to the hole and learned to like it, actually. On my upper half I wore a dark blue blouse and I decided that a ponytail would look nice as well. Because of the time which seemed to run through my fingers the ponytail looked a bit messy but I decided that it wasn't a bad thing at all. On my way downstairs, I grabbet an apple, yelled "Goodbye, Daddy." and left. Perhabs, I went to Dannys because of the project we did together but I was sure about one thing: I would spend time with Danny. With or without a project. The project wouldn't matter...at all.
"Hey mum, what's going on?" I asked as soon as I got out of my car. "Your Dad is going on, Zoe!" she yelled desperate. "I'm sorry darling but I have to leave." she added, more calm and looked me straight in the eyes. "What?" I yelled "Why?" "Listen sweety." she held my shoulders with her hands "My Dad and I...we just can't handle each other anymore. It's not his fault, nor yours, nor your brothers, nor mine. It just doesn't work out anymore." tears were streaming down her cheeks by then. "So..." I whispered "You two are getting divorced?" I was crying as well. "Yes, Zoe." she said "I can visit you sometimes, can't I?" was the first thing which came into my mind. "Of course, my baby." a smile appeared on her face "Come on, give me a goodbye hug, love." and with that she hugged me thightly. It is wierd how fast one can change his or her oppinion about someone as soon as a situation gets serious. Earlier, I though things like "I don't want to see my so called "mother" ever again." or "I can't wait to leave that house." but when the moment of actually leaving finally comes one hopes that one can turn the time back. In that moment I realised, that I can't. I never realised how bad the relation between my Mum and Dad became until then. They didn't slept in the same room anymore. My Mum just came home really late and didn't even talked to my Dad. They only talked when they were fighting. I wondered how I could be so blind and in that moment, it was too late. I really hated myself for being so ignorant but I decided that i have to be strong and that I have to give my mother a proper goodbye. One, she would like to remember. "I hope you'll be happy, Mum. I really do." I whispered in between sobs. "You too, Zoe. If you ever find a guy you like, make sure to take the right decision and don't hesitate, no matter what other people say. If they prevent you from being happy, then they are not your friends. I made a good decision 24 years ago. I had a wonderful time with your Dad. He gave me you and your brother and that is the best present someone can make. I don't regret anything." those were the last words I heard from my mother for a very long time. She kissed my cheek one last time and then turned around and drove off. I was left behind, alone on the street in front of our house and watched after the car, until it disappered behind the horrizon. I stood there for some seconds longer before I made my way inside. My Dad sat on a chair in the kitchen, his head in his hands.
"Dad?" I said quietly. He lifted up his head, his eyes were puffy and red from the crying. I ran into him and hugged him thightly, only to start crying again. He hugged back immediately and I could hear his sobs which broke my heard. It allways hurted to see my Dad, the allways strong father, being in tears. We stayed like that for god knows how long. "Were you abel to talk to her before she left?" he asked after we separated again. "Yes, we separated for good." I answered "She said I can visit her whenever I want to." "That's good." with that he pattered my head and gave me a polite sighn that I should leave him allone for a bit which I did.
Making my way up the stairs, I felt my phone vibrating inside my pocket. As soon as a entered my rrom and closed the door, I pulled it out and checked it. It was a message from Danny. I almost forgot that I had to meet him that day.
Danny: Hey, when will you be here? :)
I thought about telling him what happened but instead of writing it, I would tell him later in person. So, I thought about that I had to do today but it was the weekend so, everything I could do today could be done the next day as well.
Zoe: Give me one hour ok? :)
Danny: Allready? Cool sure. cu :)
Zoe: cu :3
First thing I was going to do was asking my Dad whether me going out was ok for him. "Dad, I know it's a inappropiate moment but do you mind if I meet Danny today at his?" I asked, feeling ashamed somehow. "Of course not, darling. Have a good day." he said and forced a smile on his face. I smiled and kissed his cheek before going back upstairs, having a shower quickly and getting ready. I wore my black jeans which I ripped some week ago. I slowly got use to the hole and learned to like it, actually. On my upper half I wore a dark blue blouse and I decided that a ponytail would look nice as well. Because of the time which seemed to run through my fingers the ponytail looked a bit messy but I decided that it wasn't a bad thing at all. On my way downstairs, I grabbet an apple, yelled "Goodbye, Daddy." and left. Perhabs, I went to Dannys because of the project we did together but I was sure about one thing: I would spend time with Danny. With or without a project. The project wouldn't matter...at all.