The Lucky and the Damned

I had received a text from Damon while I was sitting there with Caroline and Bonnie that said Meredith a woman who has been seeing Alaric for some time now had knocked him out and taken some of his blood which lets us know that she knew about the existence of vampires and could be a threat to us.

We spent a little more time hanging out at the grill just talking about normal girly things. Even though I could tell they wanted to ask me question they couldn't bring themselves to asking me. I sighed before we went our separate ways. I didn't head back to the boarding house I was too angry at this Meredith person to even think about that. Instead I found myself inside the hospital where the nurse and doctors come to get their supplies. A nurse walked in and I gripped her neck making sure it didn't leave bruises.

I placed a finger over my lips and she nodded her head. I smelt her neck and the vervain didn't stand out so I bit her to taste. She didn't have it in her system. I smirked as I pulled back.

"You are going to find Meredith for me. Lead her here. Make sure your blood spills onto the floor," I told her before I vamped out again and bit into her wrist deep so blood could pour out of it.

"Go," I told her. She did as I said. I was ready to throw up again. I headed towards the sink that was hidden in the corner by the large shelves threats were in the room. I coughed dry heaving before I threw up the blood that I had just taken.

I took a paper towel and wiped off my mouth. I heard footsteps before the door opened again. I saw the same girl and she was leading what looked like a pretty middle aged woman. She had dark brown hair and somewhat dark skin. She had on a doctor's jacket.

"Please let me help you," the lady I assumed to be Meredith said.

"I don't need your help," the compelled nurse said.

"Yes you do," Meredith continued.

I stepped out and said, "No she doesn't."

Meredith eyes widened and took a step back. I smirked and said, "Go clean yourself up."

The nurse who led Meredith here instantly went to the sink and started washing the blood.

"Who are you?" Meredith asked.

"Something tells me you already know."

I gave her my cruelest smirk and said, "Meredith I presume."

"Jade Gilbert…Elena Gilberts twin…I thought you died," Meredith continued playing innocent.

"I am…well I was until I started becoming human again," I told her with another smirk.

"You're Damon Salvatore's girlfriend," she whispered.

"Yeah and I don't like it when people hurt my family or loved ones," I growled.

She took another step back.

"I can help you," she told me.

I shook my head and said, "I don't want your help. I want to kick your ass for touching my boyfriend and taking his blood. Which makes me wonder what the council will think when they find out that a doctor is giving patients vampire blood to heal."

Her eyes widened even more. She shook her head and said, "If you expose of my ways I will expose all of you."

"Will that be before or after the council tears you apart," I hissed.

"They will exchange my life for a few names of the vampires that are in this town. Yours will be the first I mention if you expose me," she continued.

"They we both know that you will never do something like that because I can kill you within a second," I growled.

"If I promise not take your boyfriend's blood again will you promise not to tell the council?" she said trying to negotiate. And despite my dark side telling me to just kill her and leave her here to be discovered by the other doctors or nurses, I went with the good Jade who said 'think this through. Alaric cares about this lady. He was with Elena and Jeremy when you weren't for the morning of Jenna. Let her live for him to be happy again.' I sighed and said, "If I find out you have betrayed your word I will personally torture you to your death."

She nodded and I walked towards the door.

"Jade!" she called after me. I paused at the door, but I didn't turn around to look at her.

"What the agency did to you was terrible," she spoke as I listened.

I spun around and looked at her.

"What do you know about the agency?" I asked her and she gulped her eyes filled with fear. Her words had slipped.

I grabbed her by her neck losing my temper, "What do you know about the agency!"

"I was a nurse there," she choked out.

"So you saw the way they handled me!" I roared at her.

"I am sorry I couldn't do anything," she said clawing at my hand as I lifted her in air her feet dangling.

"Why didn't you help me!" I yelled at her.

"I tried to but they caught me and took me out of there as soon as possible," she was choking in between the words. I knew she was going to die if I didn't let go.

"Do you know if there is a cure?" I asked in hoarse voice.

She was only able to nod her head. I dropped her onto the ground were too crumpled and was gasping for air. She passed out on the floor and I rolled my eyes and sighed. So much for finding the cure to this today.

"What happened to her," the nurse I bite asked.

"She fainted, nad you will forget I was here. You had gone out for a cigarette when an animal attacked you. That is where you go the bite mark. Oh and when she wakes up tell her to find me," I told her. I raced out of the room and out of the hospital and towards the boarding house it wasn't till I was half way there that I was slowing down immensely I looked down at my legs and saw that I was losing my speed. I tried over a tree leg I hadn't paid attention to and went flying towards the ground. I was sprawled out on the ground and groaned. I got up slowly and felt stinging on my knee I looked down and saw I had a gapping whole over my jeans.

Blood covered my knee cap and every time the cold air blew on it I would find it soothing. I started limping because it hurt when I fully flexed my knee. I didn't understand why my other healing abilities that I had when I was human hadn't kicked in. I shouldn't be far from the boarding house. I really should not be that far. I actually think I could see the lights in the distance. I wasn't going to call Damon because he would be a nervous wreck which would mean I would have to tell him about my other dreams and about my definite answer to me becoming human again.

"Dear god what heaped to you?" I heard Rebekah's voice come from my left.

"I tripped," I told her.

"You have healed."

"No shit," I growled.

"Why haven't you healed?"

"Because I becoming human again," I said I limped several more steps.

"Do you want help?"

"Are you offering?" I asked with curiosity.

"I always help a friend."

I stared at her and narrowed my eyebrows, "So I'm your biffl now?"

"What's a 'BIFFL'?"

"You should know if you're going to survive this century," I mumbled.

"And yes I would love some help," I told her. She walked over to me and wrapped her arm around my waist and lifted one my arms so was around her neck.

"I can't heal because that special trait stopped when I died, actually it turned me human again and now it's just gone," I told her.

"How are you human again?" she asked me.

"I had these weird science people put a whole bunch of different shit in my body and instead of making me a one of kind they wanted to make me the template of what they wanted more of. I was a lab rat," I told her with sigh. We reached the front door.

"Damon can't know," I whispered to her. She nodded and opened the door for us and helped me inside.

"What the hell happened?" I heard Damon ask before I sighed and said, "Nothing. Don't worry about it babe."

"Don't babe me, Jade! What the hell happen to your leg and your cheek?!" Damon growled as he grabbed my chin painfully unaware I was human even though my heart beat was pretty obvious.

"I tripped in the woods," I told him.

"Why didn't you heal?" he asked me.

"I haven't feed in more than five weeks remember?" lie. He squinted his eyes at me before he disappeared and reappeared with a blood bag.

"Someone at the hospital was attack by a vampire," he told me.

"Oh about that," I said looking down. He groaned and said, "Jade please tell me you didn't."

"Meredith threatens my boyfriend of course I am going to at least leave some kind of mark on her for it," I growled. He smiled at that and leaned down and kissed my lips before saying, "I still have to go. Sheriff Forbes wants to know how you're doing."

I nodded with a tiny frown, but I wasn't going to be able to drink the blood so the only way for him not to know would be for him to think I did. I'd give it to Stefan or even Rebekah as a token of bringing me home safe.

He pecked my lips again before slipping out the front door. Sometimes I think he is either not getting enough sleep at night or he is pregnant. I think it's the latter…okay, okay the former, but how funny it would be if Damon Salvatore was pregnant! No? Oh I guess it's just me then….

I handed the bag to Rebekah when I knew Damon was gone far enough.

"Bon appite," I said with a smirk.

"You seriously going to make me drink all the blood bags he gives you?" she asked me.

"Just until I get the strength and nerve to tell him," I told her.

"I am going to clean this up and then I am going to bed," I told her.

"Goodnight!" she called after me.

"Good afternoon," I corrected earning a small laugh out of her. I decided on a shower and stripped myself of my clothes. I had to be extra careful with my jeans because it was like I was ripping skin off myself. I growled and cursed at myself through the process but it had to be done.

I limped into the shower that I turned on for the cold water and even though it was freezing it numbed my aching knee. After I finished washing every part of my body beside the knee I knew I would have too. I took the wash cloth and rubbed it getting over my knee. It sung making me whimper out loud.

I took in a deep breath and let it out several times as I rinsed it off. It wasn't until I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"Jade…can we talk," Damon said. I froze if he saw my knee he would either assume I hadn't eaten or b that I was human.

"Um," my voice cracked making it high pitched so I cleared my throat and said, "Yeah come in."

He walked in and I cursed the clear glass of the shower and for taking a cold shower instead of a hot one because a hot one would fog up the glass. I turned around and pretended like I was finishing my hair.

I felt his eyes on my back, but I didn't dare turn around. He should have heard my heart beating.

"I know," he told me. I felt my heart speeding up in my chest.

I turned my head and gazed at him over my shoulder.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you're human," he said in a lower voice almost a whisper but not quite. I saw the betrayal in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Damon. I didn't want to disappoint you," I told him with glazed watery eyes. He found out in a way I never wanted him to.

"You already did," he said glaring at me.

I scrunched my eyebrows together and said, "What?"

"No lies, remember?" he told me. I felt a tear slip down me cheek.

"Damon, I'm sorry," I whispered. HE shook his head before storming out of the room. I knew I had hurt him, but I didn't think he would react this way.

I got out of the shower and wrapped my leg up before I got dressed quickly. I grabbed my oversized army green duffle bag and started packing all of my clothes. If anyone saw me moving it would be the speed like a vampire. I went into the bathroom and took my deodorant and medical kit. I then walked out and threw on my jacket I sung the back onto my shoulder and raced down the steps as fast as I could. I saw Damon standing I front of the fireplace. He had a glass of bourbon in his hand his gaze lost in the fire.

I walked towards the front door opening and slamming it behind me. I ran towards the garage where my black mustang was parked. I tossed my bag in the back and reached for the keys by the back tire. I got in the mustang and started the car. I looked up at the house and I saw that Stefan was looking out the window and down at me. That was when it hit me. The heart ache I mean. It sucked majorly. I hit the gas and sped out of the driveway and towards my home. My real home. I pulled into the drive way and hopped out of the car. I wanted closure I felt like I was suffocating. I hopped out of the car and slammed the door behind me I raced inside the house hearing several people call my name. I raced into my room and slammed the door behind me locking it. I opened up my window and took my seats off my bed. I tossed them out the window and that was enough. I grabbed my mattress and pillows and unlocked my bedroom door I dragged them down the stairs and to the back yard.

I went into the shed and grabbed an ax Elena and Alaric both trying to get my attention and reason with me. I ignored them and went up the stairs to my room and started hacking at my bed and its frame. Everything in had memories I didn't want. I threw the pieces of the bed out the window and the dresser went next I threw the mirror of my window next. My chair just went out the window while I hacked at my desk. I removed the laptop and set it down on the ground in the corner.

I threw out my lamps and them then the desk pieces. I heard them banging on my door begging me to stop and that I was going in sane. Maybe I was. Maybe I was becoming twisted in the head. But right now all I felt was pain and I wanted to get rid of that. This was helping.

I hacked up my nightstand and tossed it out the window. I then tossed the axe down next. Everything was gone from my room the only thing that truly would remain would be my carpet and laptop.

I unlocked my bedroom door and walked out past Alaric and Elena who gazed into the room in horror to see everything was gone except my laptop.

"Jade what is going on?!" Elena yelled at me.

I ignored her and went into the kitchen grabbing the propain from underneath the cabinet.

"Jade please! What happened?" Alaric begged.

I grabbed box of matches on my way out of the house out the back and squirted the whole bottle of propane on my shit. I struck a match and dropped it on my stuff. I get to close and it synched my skin on my arm. I fell on the ground by some force. I looked up to see it was Damon.

"What the hell are you doing?!" he roared at me. I let out a sob and just fell apart in his arms. He held me closer in his arms and I gripped onto him tightly like he would disappear. I was stupid, no, idiotic for what I did, but I wasn't me when I did that. I was Shadow. Hence why didn't respond to Alaric or Elena who were too scared to even stand next to me. How screwed up am I?!

I know I'm human. I know that I wanted to become the monster I was. I know I am going insane as well. I also know that…Shadow can consume me randomly.