Lover Boy

I looked outside the window of their guest room, thinking about what I was going to do. I was excited to say the least, even though I knew I shouldn’t. I was going to cheat on my girlfriend, yet I couldn’t help myself. I had never cheated before. I was always loyal to all my girlfriends, but that time something inside me changed. The passion was slowly burning my heart, and then it travelled through my veins to every single part of my body like electricity through wires.

I turned to my left to look at the clock on the wall. It was two so I had to wait one more hour for him to come. I turned my head to gaze at the shining moon as my mind traveled to when I first met them.

All the seats were taken inside the bus except for the ones beside the two of them. My friend and I had sat on the two seats that were opposite from theirs and talked about our favorite bands before Jeremy interrupted us to ask something about one of the bands.

Christina’s words back then were, ‘’you don’t really look like the type who listens to Scorpions, Queen and Depeche Mode.’’

‘’Looks can be deceiving,’’ I had replied while smirking.

We introduced ourselves and exchanged numbers. From then on, we started meeting every so often but I had already fallen for her from the first time I saw her. It was strange how her smile made me think of how it would feel like if she smiled because of me. Her golden smile and her blue pool of eyes managed to pierce through my heart like cupid’s arrow.

Soon, we became a couple…but then, the Jeremy I knew changed. He was always kind and a very good kid if you asked me, yet when I started dating his younger sister, his attitude towards me changed. He started talking to me less and less, and he did everything he could to avoid me. His behavior towards me was nothing like a friend. One month had passed, and I had lost Jeremy’s friendship.

I laughed to myself thinking of the bitter memories. It was weird how things had changed.

It was only two months later, when their parents left for a trip that I managed to get a hold of him. Christina had gone out for grocery shopping and I was in the living room watching TV. I heard footsteps behind me and when I turned at who it was, I saw Jeremy with blond hair.

‘’Whoa! Why did you dye your hair blond?’’ I had asked but I got no reply as he walked to the kitchen. Angry, I got up from the black couch and followed him to the kitchen. ‘’You looked better with your natural, brown hair. Now you look very innocent, and we both know you’re not.’’

I only meant to anger him enough so he would finally speak to me but instead of that, he looked deep into my dark eyes with his blue ones making me unable to move. Sadness had covered the hue of blue his eyes held and when he spoke he was as calm as he could have been. I knew he was trying hard by the way his hands turned to fists to his sides.

‘’You don’t like it?’’ He asked me, his eyes almost pleading for something unknown to me.

‘’I do,’’ I had replied. I secretly hoped this would fix the situation between us. It was awkward when I stayed at his house but he didn’t speak to me at all. I didn’t want Christina to worry and I wanted my friend back.

‘’Good, because I did it for you.’’ That was all he said before he froze. Upon realizing what he had said, he left the kitchen and stormed to his room, locking the door behind him.

That was how everything started going the wrong way. I didn’t know why yet I followed him to his room. I even provoked him into opening the door and telling me words I didn’t want to hear. Did I really not want to hear or was I trying to hide the feelings that were appearing slowly in my heart?

‘’I love you. I fucking love you, alright?’’ He had yelled as he cried. I just stood before him not being able to comprehend what was happening. I thought about it, thinking if I actually had heard him right. I knew he was gay and he knew I was dating his fifteen year old sister.

‘’Are you serious?’’ I asked him, waiting for some sort of explanation. He had to tell me it was a lie so I could keep on going forward with his sister. Right then I realized how deep inside me I had hidden these feelings. They weren’t supposed to be brought on the surface because something would break. A heart would break, and it wasn’t going to be mine or his but Christina’s.

‘’I-I’’ I started to say but the words weren’t coming out. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say. I loved his sister and I loved him. I had tried to make myself believe I had fallen for Christina in order to forget about him – yet I never forgot. I just pretended I did. ‘’This is wrong!’’ I stated, the words leaving my mouth under the thought that that was the right thing to do.

‘’I know, and I know you love her, and I love her too. She’s my sister Owen; do you think I don’t know that? Why do you think I’ve been avoiding you? Why do you think I stopped talking to you? I’m just so hopelessly in love with you that I can’t handle it anymore.’’ He moved closer to me quickly and kissed me. His lips were against my own, soft like a girl’s yet not quite there. He pushed his tongue inside my mouth and I let him do as he pleased while I was losing myself in the feeling of his lips and the taste of his tongue, his saliva mixing with mine. He pulled away and looked deep into my eyes before he muttered, ‘’I’m sorry’’ and left.

My phone started vibrating, pulling me out of my thoughts. I picked it up quickly from inside my pocket and saw it was Jeremy. ‘’I’ll be there in a few. Christina went to bed a while ago and our parents are already sleeping since they have to wake up at seven. Wait for me,’’ and with that he hung up. He didn’t give me time to say anything but there was nothing left to say.

That was the night we would regret in the morning, yet we wanted it so much that it had started showing on our faces. He was the option I should have never chosen, but I did. The forbidden fruit that I shouldn’t even touch was about to be mine for hours. That was our night, our first and last night together. That was going to be our secret because above the love we held for each other, there was the love and care we both felt for his sister.

Soon, someone was opening the door and I saw his slender frame entering the room and closing the door behind him, locking it with the key that was already there. He came close to me and kissed me like he had done that day when he first confessed to me. We agreed on the deal a week later, after we were both gazing at each other with loving eyes.

‘’You can still walk away to the safety of your room,’’ I whispered caressing his soft cheek as I looked into his eyes, shining with nothing more than pure lust and love.

‘’No, just tonight…all we have is just tonight.’’ That was the only answer I needed to take him into my arms and show him the love I felt for him from the first time I laid my eyes on him.

I was lying to myself when I said I loved his sister. It was him that I had fallen in love with…him, and that was the reason why I was trying so hard to forget him by saying again and again to myself what I loved about his sister. I loved Christina as a sister and Jeremy as a lover. Jeremy made me admit it and there was no going back now. The deed was done.

All we had were those few hours but when the time would come where Christina would love another boy, then Jeremy would be mine again. Once again we would sleep together, showered by our love. So till that time came, all we had was tonight.