Manage Me, I'm a Mess
I had you figured out, yeah I had you figured out
(a few weeks later)
'Your hair!' I gasp when Jack walks into the lounge,
'What do you think?' He asks,
'Oh my gosh honey, it looks lovely! It's about time you got rid of your floppy skunk hair.' Joyce grins,
'I'm going to dye this bit blonde so I'm sticking with the skunk.' he smirks, indicating to where he's dying it,
'Come here!' I beam, making grabby hands, he laughs and walls over, leaning down so I can run my fingers through his hair,
'I love it. It's beautiful. You look amazing.' I giggle and he kisses me softly on the lips, making me blush because Joyce is watching,
'Thank you. Will you help me dye it?' he asks and I nod.
'Jack... I don't wanna bleach my favourite hoodie, so I'm gonna take it off... You're gonna see my arms, okay? Don't be upset.' i whisper,
'Of course it'll hurt Alex. It's always going to. But as long as you're comfortable showing them to me then that's perfectly okay.' he says softly and I nod, taking the blink hoodie that Jack got me off slowly, 'don't be scared, I'm never going to judge you.' he whispers and I nod, hanging my hoodie on the back of the bathroom door, 'Alex, I'm not being funny but can you put a plaster on those few cuts. If bleach splashes on them it will fucking hurt.' he whispers, nodding his heads to the three cuts on my wrist that I did a few days ago, I nod and get a plaster out of the medicine cabinet and put it over the cuts.
'You look so cute.' I giggle once jacks dried his hair, I reach up ad run my fingers through it gently, 'so fucking soft.' I grin and he kisses my forehead,
'Alexander, I love you.' he whispers,
'I love you too baby.' I smile.
(later on)
'Why do you do it?' Jack asks, stroking his thumb over some scars on my arm,
'Jack... My dad left me. My mum killed herself. I've been passed from home to home. My life is pretty fucked up. I'd never been happy up until I moved here and met you and Joyce and Bassam and Rian and Zack.' I say quietly and jack rubs my back comfortingly,
'Do you know what happened to make your mum leave you?' he asks,
'She was such a lovely woman. So damn beautiful...' I whisper and grab my wallet off my bedside table and show him the picture of her that I keep,
'oh my gosh she was so pretty. You have her gorgeous eyes.' Jack whispers,
'I know. She was perfect. I looked up to her so much. But she had a habit of falling for men that were no good for her. She was a wise woman. Knew her rights. She was innocent. And when they tried to take her right and innocence away, she was stuck. Helpless. I watched my mum get raped three times.' I whisper sadly and jack rubs my back, 'Im sure it happened more behind closed doors. She got depressed. Tired. Weak. She couldn't take anymore. I found her hanging from the ceiling fan in her room.' I sigh and jack hugs me,
'Alex... I need to ask... Did any of these men touch you?' he asks,
'I-I... No... I d-don't think so.' I stutter,
'Alex...?' he sighs,
'Yes. Twice. The first one just punched me repeatedly, telling me that if I told anyone what I saw, I'd die. The other... The other raped my mother, then me while she was passed out two feet away... I didn't think I'd be hurt again. Until I got a boyfriend when I was 14. He abused me.' I say shakily and Jack hugs me tightly,
'No ones going to hurt you anymore lex.' he whispers, I nod and smile sadly at him, 'I get what it's like to be hurt by someone to love.' he adds softly and I raise an eyebrow,
'Oli.' he shrugs,
'You told me that was one time!' I gasp,
'I lied. I'm sorry.' he shrugs,
'You lied to me?!' I snap,
'Its not big deal.' he mutters,
'Oh that's fucking rich! You flipped out when I lied to you!' I yell,
'Alex babe, that's different. You were hurting yourself.' he sighs,
'And you were being hurt! there is no difference!' I snap and look away from him,
'Baby I'm sorry. Please.' he begs and I sigh and hug him,
'What did Oli do to you?' I ask, stroking his hair,
'Hit me. Forced me into things. He, um... Took a knife to me once.' he mumbles and I gasp,
'Did he cut you?!' I exclaim,
'I'll show you.' he whispers and stands up, pushing his skinny jeans down his thighs and lifting the left leg of his boxers up, showing me a healing scar, about four inches long an a centimetre wide,
'If I ever see him again, I'm going to rip his head off and shit down his neck.' I snap and Jack laughs and tugs his jeans back up and hugs me,
'I love you Alexander.' he whispers.
'Your hair!' I gasp when Jack walks into the lounge,
'What do you think?' He asks,
'Oh my gosh honey, it looks lovely! It's about time you got rid of your floppy skunk hair.' Joyce grins,
'I'm going to dye this bit blonde so I'm sticking with the skunk.' he smirks, indicating to where he's dying it,
'Come here!' I beam, making grabby hands, he laughs and walls over, leaning down so I can run my fingers through his hair,
'I love it. It's beautiful. You look amazing.' I giggle and he kisses me softly on the lips, making me blush because Joyce is watching,
'Thank you. Will you help me dye it?' he asks and I nod.
'Jack... I don't wanna bleach my favourite hoodie, so I'm gonna take it off... You're gonna see my arms, okay? Don't be upset.' i whisper,
'Of course it'll hurt Alex. It's always going to. But as long as you're comfortable showing them to me then that's perfectly okay.' he says softly and I nod, taking the blink hoodie that Jack got me off slowly, 'don't be scared, I'm never going to judge you.' he whispers and I nod, hanging my hoodie on the back of the bathroom door, 'Alex, I'm not being funny but can you put a plaster on those few cuts. If bleach splashes on them it will fucking hurt.' he whispers, nodding his heads to the three cuts on my wrist that I did a few days ago, I nod and get a plaster out of the medicine cabinet and put it over the cuts.
'You look so cute.' I giggle once jacks dried his hair, I reach up ad run my fingers through it gently, 'so fucking soft.' I grin and he kisses my forehead,
'Alexander, I love you.' he whispers,
'I love you too baby.' I smile.
(later on)
'Why do you do it?' Jack asks, stroking his thumb over some scars on my arm,
'Jack... My dad left me. My mum killed herself. I've been passed from home to home. My life is pretty fucked up. I'd never been happy up until I moved here and met you and Joyce and Bassam and Rian and Zack.' I say quietly and jack rubs my back comfortingly,
'Do you know what happened to make your mum leave you?' he asks,
'She was such a lovely woman. So damn beautiful...' I whisper and grab my wallet off my bedside table and show him the picture of her that I keep,
'oh my gosh she was so pretty. You have her gorgeous eyes.' Jack whispers,
'I know. She was perfect. I looked up to her so much. But she had a habit of falling for men that were no good for her. She was a wise woman. Knew her rights. She was innocent. And when they tried to take her right and innocence away, she was stuck. Helpless. I watched my mum get raped three times.' I whisper sadly and jack rubs my back, 'Im sure it happened more behind closed doors. She got depressed. Tired. Weak. She couldn't take anymore. I found her hanging from the ceiling fan in her room.' I sigh and jack hugs me,
'Alex... I need to ask... Did any of these men touch you?' he asks,
'I-I... No... I d-don't think so.' I stutter,
'Alex...?' he sighs,
'Yes. Twice. The first one just punched me repeatedly, telling me that if I told anyone what I saw, I'd die. The other... The other raped my mother, then me while she was passed out two feet away... I didn't think I'd be hurt again. Until I got a boyfriend when I was 14. He abused me.' I say shakily and Jack hugs me tightly,
'No ones going to hurt you anymore lex.' he whispers, I nod and smile sadly at him, 'I get what it's like to be hurt by someone to love.' he adds softly and I raise an eyebrow,
'Oli.' he shrugs,
'You told me that was one time!' I gasp,
'I lied. I'm sorry.' he shrugs,
'You lied to me?!' I snap,
'Its not big deal.' he mutters,
'Oh that's fucking rich! You flipped out when I lied to you!' I yell,
'Alex babe, that's different. You were hurting yourself.' he sighs,
'And you were being hurt! there is no difference!' I snap and look away from him,
'Baby I'm sorry. Please.' he begs and I sigh and hug him,
'What did Oli do to you?' I ask, stroking his hair,
'Hit me. Forced me into things. He, um... Took a knife to me once.' he mumbles and I gasp,
'Did he cut you?!' I exclaim,
'I'll show you.' he whispers and stands up, pushing his skinny jeans down his thighs and lifting the left leg of his boxers up, showing me a healing scar, about four inches long an a centimetre wide,
'If I ever see him again, I'm going to rip his head off and shit down his neck.' I snap and Jack laughs and tugs his jeans back up and hugs me,
'I love you Alexander.' he whispers.