Manage Me, I'm a Mess
Break another stranger in your bed
(a few weeks later)
'Alex? Are you okay?' Jack asks, knocking on the bathroom door, I don't reply and just finish washing my fresh cuts and hide my blade. I open the door and he puts a hand on my upper arm,
'Are you okay? Why'd you leave school so early?' he asks,
'Don't worry.' I mumble,
'But I will.' he whispers,
'Some kids found out I'm gay.' I croak, feeling tears well in my eyes,
'You're gay?' he asks and I nod, 'Hey, it's okay. Were they horrible about it?' he whispers and i nod again, 'why the fuck? I'm gay and everyone knows that! They didn't treat me any different!' he exclaims,
'I didn't know that.' I chuckle, 'it's because they know I'm weak. It takes one hit to knock me down.' I sigh,
'You're not weak. You're fragile.' he whispers,
'Can we go in our room? I'm claustrophobic and it's getting a bit cramped in here.' I say softly and he nods, guiding me to our room,
'Can I ask you something?' he whispers and I nod and I sit on his bed next to him,
'Do you hurt yourself?' he asks and I shake my head,
'Promise?' he sighs,
'I promise.' I smile softly. Lies. Lies. Lies lies lies.
'Okay, good.' he whispers.
(a few weeks later)
'How was therapy?' I ask when Jack walks in,
'Alright I guess, what was that you were playing?' he asks,
'Oh nothing, just something I wrote.' I shrug,
'Whats it called?' he asks,
'Therapy.' I say quietly,
'Play it please... Please. I need a boost.' he whispers and I nod and start playing, he gasps when I start singing as well,
'My ship went down, in a sea of sound, when I woke up alone I had everything.
A hand full of moments, I wish I could change, and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.
In a city of fools, I was careful and cool but they tore me apart like a hurricane.
A handful of moments, I wished I could change but I was carried away...
Give me therapy, I'm a walking travesty, but I'm smiling at everything, therapy, you were never a friend to me, you can keep all your misery.'
I stop singing and look down,
'wow Lex, you're incredible.' he whispers,
'Thanks.' I mumble,
'Oh my god I'm crying.' he chuckles and my head snaps up to see him wiping tears off his cheeks, I put my guitar down and rush over to him and hug him tightly,
'You'll be okay.' I whisper,
'You will too one day Lex.' he sighs, rubbing my back.
(a month later)
I walk into mine and jacks bedroom and raise an eyebrow when I see someone kissing my best friend. Jack pulls away quickly and looks at me, 'uh, Lex, this is my boyfriend, Oliver, Oli, babe, this is Alex, the kid my parents fostered.' He says awkwardly,
'Nice to meet you.' Oli says, he has a thick British accent and a dull voice,
'You too, uh, I'll go downstairs, let me just get my iPod and homework.' I mutter and rush over to my desk, grabbing all my stuff and leaving.
(later on)
'See you babe.' Oli says at the door and then I hear him and Jack kissing and my heart sinks,
'Love you.' Jack says quietly,
'Love you too gorgeous.' Oli says quickly and I hear what sounds like a slap, I can only imagine Oli slapping Jacks ass and it makes my skin crawl.
'Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to make you feel awkward.' Jack sighs as he walks into the lounge,
'Whatever. How long have you been going out with that thing?' I ask and he looks slightly shocked,
'Alex, that thing is my boyfriend and we've been together for three weeks now. You don't even know him, how can you be so harsh?' he snaps,
'Because I can tell he treats you like a possession!' I yell,
'He loves me!' Jack exclaims,
'He's using you! I bet you've let him fuck you. I bet he didn't call you sweet things or ask if you were okay during it. I bet he didn't cuddle you afterwards. I bet he didn't tell you he loves you!' I shout,
'Alex, please shut up, I love him.' Jack begs,
'Okay. I'm sorry.' I sigh,
'Come here.' he whispers and I walk over, he hugs me tightly, 'I'll try not to have him round too much. But I do really like him Alex, so please, be nice.' he chuckles and I nod, rubbing his back, feeling his spine sticking out,
'You're getting skinnier.' I whisper,
'Im alright.' he breathes,
'So, have you fucked him?' I ask and he pulls away laughing,
'You're so crude! But... Uh... Yes.'
He smirks and I chuckle,
'Was he good?' I smirk and he blushes,
'You're so embarrassing.' he giggles,
'Well, was he?! You're my best friend, I want details!' I laugh and he laughs as well, pushing my shoulder lightly,
'Yes.' he mutters and I laugh harder,
'Hey, bro, love you.' jack smiles, lifting my chin up,
'Love you too.' I smile and hug him.
'Alex? Are you okay?' Jack asks, knocking on the bathroom door, I don't reply and just finish washing my fresh cuts and hide my blade. I open the door and he puts a hand on my upper arm,
'Are you okay? Why'd you leave school so early?' he asks,
'Don't worry.' I mumble,
'But I will.' he whispers,
'Some kids found out I'm gay.' I croak, feeling tears well in my eyes,
'You're gay?' he asks and I nod, 'Hey, it's okay. Were they horrible about it?' he whispers and i nod again, 'why the fuck? I'm gay and everyone knows that! They didn't treat me any different!' he exclaims,
'I didn't know that.' I chuckle, 'it's because they know I'm weak. It takes one hit to knock me down.' I sigh,
'You're not weak. You're fragile.' he whispers,
'Can we go in our room? I'm claustrophobic and it's getting a bit cramped in here.' I say softly and he nods, guiding me to our room,
'Can I ask you something?' he whispers and I nod and I sit on his bed next to him,
'Do you hurt yourself?' he asks and I shake my head,
'Promise?' he sighs,
'I promise.' I smile softly. Lies. Lies. Lies lies lies.
'Okay, good.' he whispers.
(a few weeks later)
'How was therapy?' I ask when Jack walks in,
'Alright I guess, what was that you were playing?' he asks,
'Oh nothing, just something I wrote.' I shrug,
'Whats it called?' he asks,
'Therapy.' I say quietly,
'Play it please... Please. I need a boost.' he whispers and I nod and start playing, he gasps when I start singing as well,
'My ship went down, in a sea of sound, when I woke up alone I had everything.
A hand full of moments, I wish I could change, and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.
In a city of fools, I was careful and cool but they tore me apart like a hurricane.
A handful of moments, I wished I could change but I was carried away...
Give me therapy, I'm a walking travesty, but I'm smiling at everything, therapy, you were never a friend to me, you can keep all your misery.'
I stop singing and look down,
'wow Lex, you're incredible.' he whispers,
'Thanks.' I mumble,
'Oh my god I'm crying.' he chuckles and my head snaps up to see him wiping tears off his cheeks, I put my guitar down and rush over to him and hug him tightly,
'You'll be okay.' I whisper,
'You will too one day Lex.' he sighs, rubbing my back.
(a month later)
I walk into mine and jacks bedroom and raise an eyebrow when I see someone kissing my best friend. Jack pulls away quickly and looks at me, 'uh, Lex, this is my boyfriend, Oliver, Oli, babe, this is Alex, the kid my parents fostered.' He says awkwardly,
'Nice to meet you.' Oli says, he has a thick British accent and a dull voice,
'You too, uh, I'll go downstairs, let me just get my iPod and homework.' I mutter and rush over to my desk, grabbing all my stuff and leaving.
(later on)
'See you babe.' Oli says at the door and then I hear him and Jack kissing and my heart sinks,
'Love you.' Jack says quietly,
'Love you too gorgeous.' Oli says quickly and I hear what sounds like a slap, I can only imagine Oli slapping Jacks ass and it makes my skin crawl.
'Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to make you feel awkward.' Jack sighs as he walks into the lounge,
'Whatever. How long have you been going out with that thing?' I ask and he looks slightly shocked,
'Alex, that thing is my boyfriend and we've been together for three weeks now. You don't even know him, how can you be so harsh?' he snaps,
'Because I can tell he treats you like a possession!' I yell,
'He loves me!' Jack exclaims,
'He's using you! I bet you've let him fuck you. I bet he didn't call you sweet things or ask if you were okay during it. I bet he didn't cuddle you afterwards. I bet he didn't tell you he loves you!' I shout,
'Alex, please shut up, I love him.' Jack begs,
'Okay. I'm sorry.' I sigh,
'Come here.' he whispers and I walk over, he hugs me tightly, 'I'll try not to have him round too much. But I do really like him Alex, so please, be nice.' he chuckles and I nod, rubbing his back, feeling his spine sticking out,
'You're getting skinnier.' I whisper,
'Im alright.' he breathes,
'So, have you fucked him?' I ask and he pulls away laughing,
'You're so crude! But... Uh... Yes.'
He smirks and I chuckle,
'Was he good?' I smirk and he blushes,
'You're so embarrassing.' he giggles,
'Well, was he?! You're my best friend, I want details!' I laugh and he laughs as well, pushing my shoulder lightly,
'Yes.' he mutters and I laugh harder,
'Hey, bro, love you.' jack smiles, lifting my chin up,
'Love you too.' I smile and hug him.