The Devil Slumbers In My Head

Do you know what it’s like to have the devil sleeping in the furthest corner of your mind?
To know that he slumbers in an easily awoken state, and the slightest indication of you no longer physical awake will bring him to the front of your mind.
That he would take you to the worst place you could think of, and make everything you hated appear in an instant.
That’s exactly what my life is.

I hate falling into any type of sleep, knowing that he would await me with sly smirk and sarcastic tone.
He would taunt me, and send me back to the most terrifying moments of my life, all while giving a sadistic laugh.
It’s gotten to the point that I’ve become a prisoner of my own mind, fearing whatever nightmare he brings forth at nightfall.

As a matter of fact, last night I woke up, covered in a thin sheen of sweat and salty tears.

Purple bags have begun to gather under my eyes due to the lack of sleep I get every night.
My hair is dull and lifeless, and I’ve thinned out.
My skin is starting to become a pasty pale color because I hardly leave the house.

Honestly, I hardly leave my room.

My family is beginning to fear for my sanity.
I’ve tried to calmly explain that it’s simply Lucifer doing his usual antics, and of course they stared at me in utter horror.

My mom and dad sat me down in our dining room, leaving my siblings to retreat to their own rooms, although I knew they’d be listening from behind the kitchen door.

“Aiden, your father and I are beginning to worry for your mental health.” My mother says slowly.

I tilt my head to the side slightly, “What made you think that mother? The fact that Lucifer is constantly sleeping in my head or just that I haven’t eaten breakfast this morning?”

She gives me an annoyed look, sighing to herself.

“Look son, we’re just trying to look out for you.” My ‘father’ explains in a stern voice.

I roll my eyes, “Look father, you’ve never looked out for me in my entire life, so why start now? I’m gonna be 18 in a couple of months, and them I’m out of your hair,” I start, then eyeing his hairline, “Well, what’s left of it anyway.”

I can hear the snickers from my brother and sisters in the background, a slight smile appearing on my lips.
My fathers’ face flushes red, as he goes from embarrassed to angry in a matter of moments.

“I’ve had enough of your nonsense Aiden! I’m sick of you waking up in the middle of the night and frightening you brother and sisters! You need to get your shit together, or you’re out of my house!” My father exclaims, slamming his meaty palms onto the table.

My mother stares at him in shock as she exclaims, “Harold!”

He simply ignored my mother, his cold eyes staring at me, “You know the warning. Don’t make me do this to you, to us. Hell, to our family.”

I stared at him in disgust and anger, “Screw you dad, I can’t help what goes on in my brain, but you sure as fucking hell don’t help. Fuck you, fuck everyone.” I stood up, pushing the chair roughly against the wooden floor, “You think I’m ruining the family, and your god damn picture perfect life, I’ll just fucking leave.”

“Aiden, wait!” My mother wails, chasing after me.

Just before I can walk out of the dining room, she grasped my arm tightly, “Please, don’t go. Don’t do this.”

My glare vanishes at the sight of my distressed mother, “I’m sorry mom, but I can’t stay here.”

I free my arm from her grasp, smiling sadly towards her, then back to glaring at my father, “Don’t bother looking for me.”

With that, I leave the dining room, and return to the confinement of my room, packing whatever belongings I could.

My mother, and siblings tried to stop me various times, but I just ignored their request, telling them that I could no longer do this to them.

Hell, what kind of big brother was I, not being able to protect them when they needed it, because of the constant fear that I might wake Lucifer?

I can hear him now, his soft snores trying to fool me into thinking that he’s in a deep slumber.
It’s not the first time he’s pulled this trick.

‘Honestly Luci, you really need to try harder.’ I say in my mind.

Did I really just try and joke with Lucifer?
Wow Aiden, you’ve truly gone insane.

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts as I drag my suitcases of clothing and electronics down the carpeted stairs.
My wallet was in my back pocket, and I’d better hope I don’t lose it.
It was filled with at least 350 dollars’ worth of cash and I had my credit card to go along with it.
I would be needing these both if I wanted to survive.

With that in my mind, I quickly packed my small car with my suitcases, and left behind the people I needed most.
~
It had been hours since I had left my home behind.
I was aimlessly driving around, my car slowly running out of gas.
I sighed and began to search for a place I could stay for the night.
As I scanned the area, I spotted an annoyingly bright neon light.

I knew had to be a motel.

I drove towards it, knowing that this is where I would have to stay.
After I had parked, and paid for a room, I grabbed one of my suitcases and tugged it towards my room.

As the door opened, I looked at the sickly pale yellow color of the walls, and the beds that look like they hadn’t been used into the last decade or so.

I know that beggars can’t be choosers, but this really sucked.

I slowly walked into the room, and threw myself onto the dusty bed.
I was getting tired again, and the fear that had subsided what now showing it’s evil head.

I knew that if I fell asleep, I might not come back this time.
What did it matter anyway?
I lost everything in a matter of day.
I’m just giving up.

With those thoughts, my eyes slid shut.
~
There he stood, his usual smirk replaced with a smug smile.

He held his hand out to me, and somehow I could grab it.

He began to lead me to darkest corners of my mind, as my terrifying thoughts, and memories resurfaced.

The darkness surrounded both of us, the small shimmers of light slowly being lost.

Lucifer looked down on me, giving one last smirk, as we we’re consumed by darkness he created.