Paper Cranes

I DRUMMED MY FINGERS AGAINST THE ARMREST between my seat and the one next to the window. The plane was sitting on the runway, faced toward the long strip of asphalt, the engines near the middle of the plane revving loudly. As the sound grew louder, my fingernails dug into the material that my arms were resting on. Applying pressure against them until my fingertips turned white, I sucked in a deep breath and looked up at the controls overhead as the plane started to accelerate forward.

“Don’t be such a pussy.” The man next to me laughed, his eyes meeting mine as he casually played a game on his cell phone. “You think you’d be used to flying by now, eh?”

Rolling my eyes, I looked over at the man and shook my head. “Don’t be a dick, Jamie.” I snapped, my eyes locking on his before I placed my gaze back on the ceiling. “I’m just thinking about people and shit, and stuff, and-“

“Speaking of people and stuff, when are you going to properly introduce me to your chick?”

“Lennon?”

“Hot name, carry on, what’s she like?” Jamie turned to me, completely unfazed by the roar of the engines, the way the plane tipped from side to side, and the way everything on the ground suddenly started to become smaller. Take-offs and landings have been scaring me since I was a kid, and no amount of small talk could soothe my nerves. All I needed was a drink or a nap, or both.

Clearing my throat, I sucked in a deep breath and the turned to him, trying to calm down as the plane quietly hovered in the air. “First off, fuck you.” I snarled and then laughed a little as he pushed me and rolled his eyes. “And second, she’s a med student, studying to be a oncologist, her father is a surgeon and her mother is a nurse in the ER.”

“She’s interested in some dumb shit like you?” Jamie howled as he shook his head and let out a loud laugh, leaning back in his chair as he took the pushes and punches I threw at him.

“Yeah, she is, actually.” I responded, my mind quickly running back to the look in her eyes as I sat in the hospital room with her and Shelby last night and watched some little kids movie with them. Shelby fell asleep within the first twenty minutes, but I couldn’t find it in me to leave to get a good night sleep for the flight today. I stood as late as I possibly could with Lennon, talking about absolutely nothing and mentioning her meeting my friends. She agreed, hesitantly of course, but told me the day I got back she would be done with final, mostly stress free, and ready to meet them.

“I’m proud of you.” Jamie sent me a warm smile as he glanced up from his phone and nodded at me. “Honestly Seggy, I was worried about you when I heard we picked you up in the off season. Thought you were going to be more hurtful than helpful, ya know?” I nodded at him, my eye focusing on my fingers that were laced together in my lap. “Glad to see ya’ heads screwed on tight now and not so full of hot air.”

“Oh shut up”, I chuckled and then glanced out of the window that was against the wall of the plane next to Jamie.

“You miss her already?” He asked, his cell phone turning off. As I rolled my eyes over to him, I half shrugged and then directed my eyes back out of the window, watching as everything under the plane grew smaller and transformed into sections of color instead of the individual buildings and roads.

Blinking a few times, I sighed heavily and shut my eyes, thinking that maybe I could get some sleep, but instead of seeing the normal black abyss when I shut my eyes, her bright eyes peered back at me and after letting them float around for a while, I sighed heavily and then opened my eyes again, glancing over at Jamie who was smiling to himself and playing the dumb game on his phone again.

“Like I said, I think I should be introduced. I am going to be the best man at your wedding, after all.”



“You ready to watch Ty’s game, Lennon?” Shelby crawled onto her bed and over to me, laying her head down o the book I was reading. As she looked up at me, her big blue eyes barreling into mine, eager, and practically begging to stop studying for five minutes, I sighed heavily and gave her a small smile.

“Roll over there and I’ll put these away. If I fail-“

“You’re brain is huge Lennon, you’re the smartest person I know. Stop worrying so much, like, so, so, so, so, so, so much.” She rolled over to her side of the bed with a huge smile as I walked over to my bag and slipped my books in. Once I turned around, I looked up at the television and watched as the camera zoomed in on the man singing the national anthem, and then panned over to the Starting players at the blue line, their helmets in their hands as the man started singing.

Going down the line of the Kings players, they quickly panned over to the Stars players and I felt my heart explode in my chest as the camera zoomed in on them, and then Tyler’s face came onto the screen.

Shelby looked over at me as my cheeks grew a deep red. Howling with laughter she started to grab them, smashing my face together and making fun of how in love with him I was, but all I could do was laugh at her. It’s not like I could fight her on that subject anyway. It was blatantly obvious that Tyler Seguin had managed to put me under whatever spell he uses with girls. I didn’t really have much of a chance either, as I replayed every interaction in my head, I knew that the first time I saw him, the very first time in the elevator, that he was gorgeous and any chance would him would be a miracle.

Of course I wish the miracle could have been spent on more important things, like Shelby, but if having Tyler around made her so happy, then I couldn’t complain.

“Are you and Tyler going to get married?”

“Shelby Davis”, I slapped my hand over my eyes and shook my head as she laughed from the spot in the bed next to me and wrapped her hands around my waist. “Tyler and I aren’t even dating! Calm that little brain of yours.”

“Yeah well.” She rolled her eyes and then adjusted the jersey on her shoulders and leaned back into the wall of pillows we had set up. “It’s bound to happen, I’m good with this stuff.”

“Sure, Shell.” I pulled her into my side and sucked in a deep breath as the puck drop and we sat there, watching the game while we made little jokes about some of the last names on the other team and cheered whenever the Stars scored or made a nice hit.

When the game was over, and Shelby was still awake sitting next to me, I couldn’t help but smile. The small blonde usually fell asleep within minutes of watching something on the television, not because it was boring, but because her small little body was tired from being poked and x-rayed. It was obvious that the cancer was taking a toll on her when she fell asleep so easily, but the fact that she stood awake, not even forcing herself too, it made hope spark in my eyes.

The past few days she seemed happier, she seemed more alive than usual.

Maybe she was getting better.

“It is so past your bedtime”, I laughed as the clock showed a ten-thirty in digital numbers on her nightstand. “You need to get some sleep so tomorrow we can go have fun.”

“We’re in a hospital, Len.” The blonde rolled her large eyes and then sent me a smile, “How much fun could we possibly have?”

“Well, tomorrow I have two finals in school in the morning, and after that I have to turn in one paper and then I am done, so I plan on celebrating when I get here.”

“What kind of celebrating?” The small girl wiggled her eyebrows as her eyes widened. Shaking my head, I tucked her into her bed and gave her a kiss on her forehead before walking over to my book bag, zipping it up, and slinging it over my shoulder.

Sharing a hug, Shelby lay back down in her bed and gave me a small smile. “You’ll find out tomorrow around three, no get some sleep and I will see you tomorrow for lunch.”

“Love you, Lenny,” Shelby whispered as she gave me a huge smile and pulled the stuffed teddy bear into her chest that Tyler had bought her the night before he left foe the road trip about a week ago.

Telling her I loved her, I watched as she rolled over in her bed and let out a small sigh before I dimmed the lights and walked out of the door. There was a small spring in my step as I walked toward the elevator. The realization that my sister was getting better, and that Tyler had agreed to bring two of his good friends form the team to the hospital tomorrow afternoon with pizza and ice cream as a mini ‘celebration’ that I had finished finals, and of course to surprise Shelby who didn’t think Tyler was getting back for another few days, made a huge smile stay on my lips.

It felt odd to smile so much, but I had to admit I liked it. I missed being a happy person, I missed enjoying the company of others, and I sure as hell missed looking forward to something that didn’t revolve around school or awkward hospital movie nights.

Once I reached my car in the lot, I tossed my book bag into the seat next to me and shoved the key into the ignition. As the engine roared to life, I felt my cell phone vibrate in my back pocket. Eyebrows meeting in the center of my forehead, I pulled my phone out and felt my heart rate accelerate as his name popped up on my screen with the two little buttons to answer the call or ignore.

Quickly pressing the green button, I put the phone on speaker and hit the button to turn the radio off. “Hello?” I chuckled as I backed out of the parking spot and headed toward the exit.

“Hey Len!” Tyler’s voice flowed from the phone and filled my head, keeping the goofy smile on my lips. “How are you? Did you watch the game? Did Shelby watch the game? Are you excited about tomorrow?”

“Whoa, whoa”, I laughed as I stopped at a red light and looked down at the blank screen on my phone. “One question at a time there. But yes, we did, and Shell stood up through the whole game, I actually just left the hospital, she just went to bed.”

Tyler was shocked that Shelby stood up so long, but immediately realized that her not being tired was a good thing and started drilling me with questions about the possibilities of her being able to leave for ‘outside activities’ so that I could take her or my whole family could head to a Stars game or out to dinner or even just to the park. As he kept talking about how much fun it would be to bring her to the movies or teach her how to ride a bike or bring her to a game, I felt my heart melt in my chest.

I understood very, very, well what kind of guy Tyler used to be. Curiosity had gotten the best of me one night, and googling him didn’t leave any small detail out. Pictures of him dancing, newspaper headlines about his wrong doings, and comments left and right about how he needed to grow up all stuck in my mind. The only thing I could think as I read them was ‘you should see him now’.

A large part of me was a little scared after seeing everything. If he was like that once, there was a huge possibility that he could be like that again, and I didn’t want any part of it. I didn’t want him to fall back into that kind of lifestyle mainly because I knew that he could be such a nice guy. He was caring and funny, respectful and dedicated. He was the complete opposite of what he used to be, and I hoped and prayed that it was a phase and it was over.

I hoped that who I was in love with was the real him.

“So tomorrow me, Jamie, and Jordie are going to roll by with some ice cream and pizza?”

“Hell yeah we are! I think Jamie was talking about Pretty, Pretty, Princess too, but I don’t remember.” Tyler huffed.

“Oh yeah, that was the first time they came to the hospital, Shelby charmed three of them to play with her, I walked into her room with three hockey players trying to win a plastic tiara with earrings clipped onto their ears.” I couldn’t help but laugh as the memory flooded my mind. “They’re good guys.”

“Yeah, they really are.” Tyler paused for a minute and then sucked in a small breath and I could just picture him standing there, his hand on the back of his neck as he looked at me, his bright eyes zeroing in on my own. My blood ran warm just from the thought. “I’m really glad I have you and Shelby in my life, Lennon.”

I went to say something when I smiled a little and felt a lump crawl into my throat. Just as I was about to swallow it and try to find words to say back to him, he cleared his throat and sighed lightly into the phone.

“I don’t know what I would do without you guys.”

“Ty, stop”, I chuckled as I felt tears push at the back of my eyes.

“I know, I know.” He laughed a genine laugh that made my spine explode with shivers. “I just… When I’m not around I realize how much I love you guys is all. Plus I’m tired and when I’m tired I get all sentimental and shit.”

“I’ll take note”, I whispered as my house came into view. Examining the two cars that were in the driveway and the dark windows I sucked in a small breath and carefully pulled my car onto the street in front of the house. Turning it off, I leaned back in my cloth seat and shut my eyes. “I have to go Ty, I’m home and-“

“Alright”, he sighed, “I’ll see you tomorrow alright? As soon as we get back we’ll be there. I can’t wait to see you.”

“Same here.” I smiled.

“Well, have a good night sleep Len.”

“Have a good flight, Good night Tyler.”

“Night babe”, he breathed.

Pulling the phone from my ear and sunk down in my seat, unable to stop the huge smiling from appearing on my lips. To say I was happy was a complete understatement. It was like someone had finally realized how shitty my life was and decided to change it for me. It was like everything that I feared, everything that kept me up at night was starting to fade away. Shelby was getting better, Tyler just being in my life was better, and school was almost over for a few weeks. I was getting breaks, my stress was going away, and I felt alive again.

I felt like I could breathe without being guilty.

There was hope in my mind again, and I prayed and begged and wished that it wasn’t a lost cause.

I had hope that maybe, somehow, everything was going to be okay.