Paper Cranes

“I’m sorry that our first meeting was me hysterically crying for hours.” I whispered as Tyler left the room to go throw my things in his room and grab something for me to sleep in. As my eyes darted across the room at the other man in it, he sent me a small smile as his cheeks turned pink.

He nodded, whispered that it was okay, that I shouldn’t apologize, and then wished my sister would be okay. He told me how all Tyler does on road trips is talk about us, how you can’t get him out of the hotel room if I’m on the phone. I couldn’t help but smile at this, it was nice to be reassured that someone cared that much about me. Especially when that person was Tyler Seguin.

“This is the tightest tee shirt I own, so it will probably fit you alright.” Tyler entered the room with a Bruins tee shirt and a pair of sweatpants with a drawstring hanging from the top. “The sweats are a toss up, but hopefully this string will fit your waist.” He chuckled nervously as his fingers toyed with the white string as his huge eyes darted to mine.

“That’s great.”

“How are you feeling?” His eyes stuck to mine.

“An omelet and some vodka?” I chuckled a little as I watched Tyler’s eyebrows lift halfway up his forehead. “Better.” I offered a smile with my words and watched as the two brunettes started laughing, wide smiles on their faces as they shook their heads at me.

“I never saw you as a drinker”, Tyler plopped down on the couch next to me, sending my small frame tumbling into his. As I laid across his lap, he locked his arms around me and leaned down, kissing my forehead. “You feeling okay?”

I nodded, locking my eyes on Tyler’s huge brown eyes. “I’m surprisingly good with alcohol despite my size.” I hummed as I started playing with Tyler’s fingers to keep my mind occupied. Thankfully it was easy to keep my mind focused on things with these two around. They were always poking fun at each other or talking about hockey or other things that were just as interesting. Jamie asked me a few hundred questions, none of them involving my sister, and then he asked me why I would like someone as stupid looking and air-head like Tyler.

Everyone laughed at this, it was hard not to.

Tyler offered that is was his dashing good looks, but I shook my head. Once Jamie was done laughing at that, I informed the boys that it was his super caring and sweet attitude that sucked me in. Then, of course, it’s hard not to be attracted to someone with that kind of facial and body structure.

Tyler agreed; Jamie rolled his eyes.

Soon after they found about seven hundred more questions to ask me, I grabbed the clothes from Tyler and stood up, sucking in a small breath as I rubbed the sticky patches on my cheeks. “Bathroom so I can change?” I whispered and watched as Tyler stopped watching TV instantly and stood up, taking me under his arm and pulling me down the hallway to the last door on the left. Poking it open with his foot, he gave me a small smile and flicked the light on for me.

“We’ll be in the living room, if you want to head to bed I’ll show you my room.”

“Uh-“ My cheeks were a deep red as I looked up at the man. When he looked back at me, he laughed a little and shook his head.

“You get the bed, I’ll take the sofa, or Jordie’s room. The sofa might be a little more sanitary.” He chuckled to himself and then gave me a huge smile. “Go, go change.” He gave me a light push as he winked at me and then headed back down the hallway, his hand pressed against the back of his neck.

Walking into the huge bathroom, I shut the door quietly behind me and sighed a little as I looked up at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were tinted pink, all of the make –up around my eyes was washed away, and my hair was in a sloppy bun on the top of my head. I looked like I was just struck by lightning and ran over by a car, and Tyler and Jamie were still being this nice to me?

I mean it explains why he’s quarantining me to a bedroom, but still. Someone like Tyler doesn’t belong with someone like me. It just doesn’t fit. I’m not a model, I’m not perfectly skinny, I don’t have a great ass or big boobs, I don’t flash around my cleavage or flaunt my body. I wear big sweaters and read books.

There was something off. I wasn’t this lucky.

There had to be a catch.

Pulling my clothes off, I slipped into Tyler’s Bruins tee and then stepped into the sweats and pulled the draw string out more until they fit snug around my hips. Looking down at the string, I chuckled at how much I had to take them in and then loosely tied it and adjusted them again to make sure they weren’t going to fall down mid-walking.

Once I was changed and my self-esteem was almost negative three-hundred, I walked out of the bathroom with a ball of my old clothes and pressed my toes into the hardwood floors. I didn’t want to just toss my clothes on the floor, and I didn’t really want to walk back into the living room with them either. It was awkward. Sure, I knew Tyler for a while now, but I didn’t know Jamie that well, and I honestly had no idea where I was.

I was out of my element, way, way, way, way out of my element and growing more uncomfortable with every passing second.

“Where can I put my clothes?” I poked my head around the doorway and watched as Jamie’s eyes caught mine instantly.

“Second door on the right is Ty’s room, you can just leave them in there tonight”, he gave me a small smile and then looked back at his phone, his large thumbs hitting buttons. With a short nod, I turned on my heels and walked down the hallway and over to the corresponding door. Pushing it open, I looked in and screamed when I saw Tyler standing there with just a pair of boxers on.

“Holy fucking shit, Tyler I am so fucking sorry. Oh my god.” I called out as I slapped my hand across my eyes and stumbled out of the room, turning around in the process so I was facing the opposite wall. Heart racing in my chest, I managed to clear my head of my internal screams and listen at the two boys who were laughing hysterically at the whole situation.

I didn’t find it funny, at all.

The bedroom door opened and the tall brunette walked out in a tee shirt and basketball shorts. His eyes were narrowed as he laughed, holding his body up against the doorframe in order to not fall over. He tried to talk a few times, holding his hand out toward me to try to get my attention, but every attempt ended up with him laughing harder.

“I didn’t know you could sound like that”, Jamie wiped a tear from his eye as he walked down the hallway and stood next to Tyler, leaning his large body against the wall. “You’re like a little mouse, and, just wow”

“Don’t be butts, I was legitimately surprised.” I huffed and started to rub my cheeks, trying to make my blood start to flow again so my cheeks weren’t a bright red anymore. “Stop laughing, how would you feel if you walked in on me in my underwear?” I crossed my arms tightly against my chest as I looked up at the two, their eyes wide as smirks illuminated on their lips. “Oh, fuck you guys.” I sighed as the blood started to collect in my face again, making every inch of my skin burn.

Turning from the boys, I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, pulling my limbs close to me as I set my clothes next to me and pressed my forehead against my kneecaps, hoping that I didn’t embarrass myself too much.

The two men were still chuckling as they entered the room and sat on either side of me. Grunting, I glared at the two and listened as they let out another round of laughter before one put their arm around me and pulled me into them. “Come on Len, we were kidding.”

“Well I was”, Jamie said flashing a quick smile, “I mean, I wasn’t, but I was.”

Furrowing my eyebrows, I went to look at the man when my cell phone started to ring from the back pocket of my jeans. The generic ring tone sliced through the silence of the living room and caused all three of us to stop speaking and look down at my clothes.

Heart crawling into my throat, I carefully reached down and pulled my cell phone out. As soon as I saw my dad’s number, I let out a small squeak and hit the green button with my trembling thumb. Putting the phone to my ear, I felt Tyler wrap his arms around me and pull me right against his chest.

“Hello?” My voice was shaking worse than I have ever heard it before.

“Lennon, it’s dad.” He whispered into the phone. As I nodded, I took a small inhale and felt the man on the other side place his hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze, a gentle reminder that even though we didn’t know each other well, he was there for me. That in itself almost reduced me to tears.

I took a few deep breaths as I waited for my father to keep talking. “We ran some tests on Shell. It spread. It was in her lungs and her stomach, and –“

The phone slipped from my hands and landed in my lap. Tears instantly formed around my eyes and slipped down my cheeks. My heart sent a wicked pain through my chest, my head started to pound, and my whole body felt like it was getting sliced in half.

I had always known I would out live my little sister, but I had no idea that time would have come so soon.

Shaking my head a little, I felt Tyler press his lips into my hair as he rested his chin on the top of my head. Letting the warmth of his body against mine relax me a little, I grabbed the phone and took a deep breath.

“There’s nothing they can do?”

“They would have to take out one of her lungs and part of her stomach and give her the highest chemo dosage possible.” Tears were evident in his voice. “And even with that, there’s a slim chance.”

“How long-“

“They said four months.”

“That’s impossible. They… They said she was doing better, they-“

“Were wrong.” He whispered and took a small inhale. “I’m going to be here for a while. I-“

“I’ll be there tomorrow morning.” I whispered and with a small goodbye, I hung up the phone and watched as Tyler looked up at me, his eyes wide. As I looked into the bright orbs of the brunette, I sucked in a small breath and nodded. Pressing my lips together, I welcomed the familiar burn in my lungs and nose. Squeezing my eyes shut, I leaned into Tyler, wrapping my arms around his neck, and pressed my face into his shoulder. “She’s dying.” I whispered as my lips trembled. “She’s dying, and I can’t do anything about it, Ty.” I started to cry. Harsh sobs crawled up my throat, tearing it to shreds on the way up. The pain that was rushing through my body, made it feel like I had swallowed razor blades. I felt like I was set on fire and thrown into a bath of acid.

“I’m so sorry Lennon.” Tyler whispered as he pulled me into his lap and kissed my cheek a few times.

Shaking my head, I tried to regain my composure but ended up losing it within seconds. I felt horrible, my head as about to split open, and no matter how hard I tried, no matter how many times I repeated my dad’s words in my head, I couldn’t accept it. I couldn’t accept that my little baby sister was going to be gone in four months.

I sat in Tyler’s lap for what felt like hours. Every time I thought I was done crying, my body would find more water and push it out through my eyes. I couldn’t control my thoughts or my heart. My lungs felt like they were full of water, and all of my limbs were numb.

“Hey, Len, I think you should lay down.” Tyler whispered into my ear as he shifted under me a little and then tilted his head down, catching his glassy eyes with mine. “Okay, I’ll-“

“I’m sorry.” I whispered as I crawled off of the brunette and stumbled a little as I walked away from the couch. Shaking my hands, I rubbed them against my cheeks and turned to the two men, watching them give me the saddest looks I had ever been given. It wasn’t the pity frown, it wasn’t fake, it was pure sadness. They knew how much that little blonde girl meant to me, they knew that this was probably the worst day of my life.

“Don’t say sorry.” Jamie said quickly, inhaling slowly. “Please, don’t ever apologize for this.”

“Come on Len”, Tyler gave me a sad excuse for a smile as he pulled me into him and walked me down the hall. When we reached his door, he turned to face me and went to speak when I threw my arms around his neck and rested my head against his chest. Listening to his heart race in his chest, I shut my eyes and let out a deep sigh.

“I honestly can’t ever thank you enough or repay you for being here with me today. This means more to me than you can ever imagine, and I’m… Thank you.” I whispered and felt him pull me tightly against him, inhaling deeply as he pressed his face into my hair.

“I love you Lennon, that’s what I’m here for. I’m going to be here for you through everything, okay? You’re going to get through this.”

Shaking my head, I pulled my face out of his shoulder and looked up at him, his big eyes filled to the brim with water. Swallowing hard, I leaned into him, placing my lips softly to his, and inhaled a little as the warmth rushed through my body. As I pulled away, I dropped my eyes down to our feet and nodded a little.

“I love you too, Tyler.”

With a nod, Tyler blinked a few times and then walked me into the room and sat down on the edge of his bed as I crawled in and sunk under the covers. Turning on my side, I pulled the blankets up to my chin and went to squeeze my eyes shut and let more tears fall from my eyes when Tyler laid down next to me and propped himself up with his elbow.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Nodding, Tyler chuckled softly and moved closer to me, taking his fingers and softly pushing some strands of hair behind my ear and out of my face. Pursing his lips, he let out a small sigh and kissed my forehead. “Are you going to be okay, Len?” He whispered, his voice nervous as his eyes locked onto mine, begging me to answer, begging me to say yes.

Inhaling slowly, I dropped my eyes onto the sheets of the bed and sunk down lower into the blankets wrapped around me. I wanted to answer him. I wanted to tell him that as long as he was here with me, that I would be fine.

But I would just be lying.