Status: I'm not great at this, I'm sorry
And Going Away Means Forgetting
Prologue
"Promise me you'll visit me everyday," I said hugging him tightly and not letting him go. It was start of our summer I knew I won't be able to meet him for three months. It was too long for both of us, I won't go on with summer without an adventure with him.
"Yes, I promise." He chuckled. Of course, it is an expected answer from him. He wouldn't be alive right now without me.
I let go of him, he was tall and lanky with a bubbly personality. I was his opposite; although, I was more optimistic in life, I had an average height for a fifteen year old. I had a small rounded face with some odd freckles, brunette wavy medium length hair and had small shoulders. I had weak knees which sucks and I had a good tan. I wasn't white-white or black, I was in the thin line of being white and tan. I hated my skin color, they were dark for an American although my mom would always say, "It's an okay skin color for a Californian."
I don't know, I was very insecure with who and what I am until I met John O'Callaghan the fifth.
"Please tell me you're not going back to Cali for the whole summer?" He pouted and reached for my hands. He's cute and too sweet for a friend. Yes, we are best buddies but I felt sparks when I'm with him, I felt sparks when I talk about him, I felt sparks when I think of him, but I knew I should not be feeling anything further than just being friends.
I met John a few weeks ago, we met at the waiting area of the principal's office. We both got into trouble that time, I drew at the back of my seatmate's shirt and he got punched by a jerk because he used his cubicle (he's claiming it was his). I never really thought that because of it we would be this close. He used to be the cool guy but I don't really know why and how he still gets bullied, maybe he was such a douche bag and can't defend himself.
He waited outside for me in the principal's office just to ask if I wanted to eat lunch with him since he was all alone and his friends left him. Of course, I said yes and from then on we started hanging out. He would go and visit me in my house, we would play video games or watch movies that made him sleepy. We would go eat breakfast at my house, lunch together and dinner outside.
We were like social outcasts. He eventually became my friend, to people we were like a couple but to both of us we were just friends, or maybe just to him.
"Maybe. I-I don't know. Do you want to come? I mean aren't you getting tired of the same old, same old Arizona?" We started walking in the sidewalk.
Everyday he would walk me home since he would pass by my house going to his. John was born from Arizona and I wasn't. I originally came from California and the only reason why I went to Arizona was because of my mom. My mom got tired of the California sunset and wanted to experience Arizona sunrise and sunset that's why she bought a new house for me and my dad. At first, I hated Arizona but with every sunset, I fell in love with Arizona. It was a hard time for me even though I was just six when we moved; I felt uneasy being away with the glorious beaches and be with the lifeless desserts, with John being by my side, he gave color to my black and white world.
"I will never ever get tired of Arizona," He faced and looked into my eyes.
"Oh my gorgeous Arizona," He said utterly under his teeth and tucked hair behind my ears. He lean on me, making both our foreheads touch each other.
He chuckled and continued.
"Here's to getting caught with you." He rested his arms around my shoulder and continued walking home.
We went straight to John's since his parents were out and we could play some stupid games and eat refrigerated pizza. It's fun being a suck-up social outcast as long as you have John O'Callaghan the fifth by your side. It's always a nice day when you're with him. It's like "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" but instead "John O'Callaghan a day keeps your problems away."
As much as I wanted to stay longer I had to go because parents, as always.
"Hey, I better get going. My mom's probably waiting for me." I said, taking the last bite from my pizza. He opened the door for me while he left hanging the pizza from his mouth. He closed the door behind us and stood beside me. I can't believe it's summer. I can't believe we'll be graduating 2 days from now.
What if John will not be my best buddy when we go to high school?
What if my mom wants to go back to California?
What if John gets a girlfriend over the summer and I get to be the third wheeler who gets left behind all the time?
Damn these 'what if' thoughts, they're eating my brain.
"Since I made a promise that I'll be visiting you everyday, promise me you'll visit me too and you'll not go to California even just for a day which I think will never happen because an overnight stay, are you kidding me?" He chuckled. I mean what if it happens? You never know.
I just chuckled with him and nodded, "I promise," I shoved his hands and laughed.
"Good. Now let me take you home or maybe to your favorite cafe?" He knew it was my favorite café mostly because they had good coffee and luxemburgerli aka French Macarons. It is actually Phoenix's favorite café or maybe it's just me but every morning there would be long lines inside and outside the café. It's like Starbucks but better, I think.
We walked to the café and it was already around 7 pm and still there were scads of people waiting in line. I got bummed by the thought that I can't order with John since I don't want John to be waiting and be frustrated with the endless lines.
"I can take it from here, thank you." I faced him as soon as I saw the long lines.
"Are you sure you don't want to you know, hang out or order your favorites?" He tucked in his hands on his front pockets and shrugged.
"I don't want you to get frustrated."
"Why would I?"
"I don't know... You hate waiting in line."
"I don't, I mean maybe I could get by or something." He sighed.
"I know you John. Now, you could go get some rest and maybe I could visit you tomorrow or after graduation."
"You can't, my whole family will be home tomorrow including my cousins. Uh, you know... Getting prepared for my big day, I mean our, big day on Sunday." He smirked. "Maybe after graduation I'll be free and we could go on a adventure. Promise, okay?"
"Okay." I said.
And apparently, we never got meet before and after graduation. I didn't get to go to his house after graduation since my mom wouldn't let me because she hosted a surprise party for me which wasn't really surprising since I heard her and dad talk about it.
We both broke our promises of visiting each other and me not going to Cali for summer. I wrote him letters when I was visiting California, I told him I was sorry and I look forward in seeing him on our first day of high school. I also tried going to his house two weeks before school since I did not receive any replies from him but looking at their front porch, they were just out for the day and not for months because my letters were not scattered on the floor. "Why didn't John reply to me?" I thought.
On the first day of my freshmen year, I was quite stoked but felt gloomy inside because maybe John will ignore me, what if he hates me because I went to California and broke his promise? What if John left? Jesus Christ.
I found myself alone the whole day because merely John wasn't around.
Days, months, years has passed and John still didn't appear. He was gone with the wind, just like that. Just 3 months of being apart would make years and years of no contact. What happened to his promised adventure, now that he left me with nobody but myself?
I thought he'd be a friend who will never leave but then again, I was wrong.
"Yes, I promise." He chuckled. Of course, it is an expected answer from him. He wouldn't be alive right now without me.
I let go of him, he was tall and lanky with a bubbly personality. I was his opposite; although, I was more optimistic in life, I had an average height for a fifteen year old. I had a small rounded face with some odd freckles, brunette wavy medium length hair and had small shoulders. I had weak knees which sucks and I had a good tan. I wasn't white-white or black, I was in the thin line of being white and tan. I hated my skin color, they were dark for an American although my mom would always say, "It's an okay skin color for a Californian."
I don't know, I was very insecure with who and what I am until I met John O'Callaghan the fifth.
"Please tell me you're not going back to Cali for the whole summer?" He pouted and reached for my hands. He's cute and too sweet for a friend. Yes, we are best buddies but I felt sparks when I'm with him, I felt sparks when I talk about him, I felt sparks when I think of him, but I knew I should not be feeling anything further than just being friends.
I met John a few weeks ago, we met at the waiting area of the principal's office. We both got into trouble that time, I drew at the back of my seatmate's shirt and he got punched by a jerk because he used his cubicle (he's claiming it was his). I never really thought that because of it we would be this close. He used to be the cool guy but I don't really know why and how he still gets bullied, maybe he was such a douche bag and can't defend himself.
He waited outside for me in the principal's office just to ask if I wanted to eat lunch with him since he was all alone and his friends left him. Of course, I said yes and from then on we started hanging out. He would go and visit me in my house, we would play video games or watch movies that made him sleepy. We would go eat breakfast at my house, lunch together and dinner outside.
We were like social outcasts. He eventually became my friend, to people we were like a couple but to both of us we were just friends, or maybe just to him.
"Maybe. I-I don't know. Do you want to come? I mean aren't you getting tired of the same old, same old Arizona?" We started walking in the sidewalk.
Everyday he would walk me home since he would pass by my house going to his. John was born from Arizona and I wasn't. I originally came from California and the only reason why I went to Arizona was because of my mom. My mom got tired of the California sunset and wanted to experience Arizona sunrise and sunset that's why she bought a new house for me and my dad. At first, I hated Arizona but with every sunset, I fell in love with Arizona. It was a hard time for me even though I was just six when we moved; I felt uneasy being away with the glorious beaches and be with the lifeless desserts, with John being by my side, he gave color to my black and white world.
"I will never ever get tired of Arizona," He faced and looked into my eyes.
"Oh my gorgeous Arizona," He said utterly under his teeth and tucked hair behind my ears. He lean on me, making both our foreheads touch each other.
He chuckled and continued.
"Here's to getting caught with you." He rested his arms around my shoulder and continued walking home.
We went straight to John's since his parents were out and we could play some stupid games and eat refrigerated pizza. It's fun being a suck-up social outcast as long as you have John O'Callaghan the fifth by your side. It's always a nice day when you're with him. It's like "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" but instead "John O'Callaghan a day keeps your problems away."
As much as I wanted to stay longer I had to go because parents, as always.
"Hey, I better get going. My mom's probably waiting for me." I said, taking the last bite from my pizza. He opened the door for me while he left hanging the pizza from his mouth. He closed the door behind us and stood beside me. I can't believe it's summer. I can't believe we'll be graduating 2 days from now.
What if John will not be my best buddy when we go to high school?
What if my mom wants to go back to California?
What if John gets a girlfriend over the summer and I get to be the third wheeler who gets left behind all the time?
Damn these 'what if' thoughts, they're eating my brain.
"Since I made a promise that I'll be visiting you everyday, promise me you'll visit me too and you'll not go to California even just for a day which I think will never happen because an overnight stay, are you kidding me?" He chuckled. I mean what if it happens? You never know.
I just chuckled with him and nodded, "I promise," I shoved his hands and laughed.
"Good. Now let me take you home or maybe to your favorite cafe?" He knew it was my favorite café mostly because they had good coffee and luxemburgerli aka French Macarons. It is actually Phoenix's favorite café or maybe it's just me but every morning there would be long lines inside and outside the café. It's like Starbucks but better, I think.
We walked to the café and it was already around 7 pm and still there were scads of people waiting in line. I got bummed by the thought that I can't order with John since I don't want John to be waiting and be frustrated with the endless lines.
"I can take it from here, thank you." I faced him as soon as I saw the long lines.
"Are you sure you don't want to you know, hang out or order your favorites?" He tucked in his hands on his front pockets and shrugged.
"I don't want you to get frustrated."
"Why would I?"
"I don't know... You hate waiting in line."
"I don't, I mean maybe I could get by or something." He sighed.
"I know you John. Now, you could go get some rest and maybe I could visit you tomorrow or after graduation."
"You can't, my whole family will be home tomorrow including my cousins. Uh, you know... Getting prepared for my big day, I mean our, big day on Sunday." He smirked. "Maybe after graduation I'll be free and we could go on a adventure. Promise, okay?"
"Okay." I said.
And apparently, we never got meet before and after graduation. I didn't get to go to his house after graduation since my mom wouldn't let me because she hosted a surprise party for me which wasn't really surprising since I heard her and dad talk about it.
We both broke our promises of visiting each other and me not going to Cali for summer. I wrote him letters when I was visiting California, I told him I was sorry and I look forward in seeing him on our first day of high school. I also tried going to his house two weeks before school since I did not receive any replies from him but looking at their front porch, they were just out for the day and not for months because my letters were not scattered on the floor. "Why didn't John reply to me?" I thought.
On the first day of my freshmen year, I was quite stoked but felt gloomy inside because maybe John will ignore me, what if he hates me because I went to California and broke his promise? What if John left? Jesus Christ.
I found myself alone the whole day because merely John wasn't around.
Days, months, years has passed and John still didn't appear. He was gone with the wind, just like that. Just 3 months of being apart would make years and years of no contact. What happened to his promised adventure, now that he left me with nobody but myself?
I thought he'd be a friend who will never leave but then again, I was wrong.
♠ ♠ ♠
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