And Going Away Means Forgetting

Cam didn't say anything on the way home other than, "It's not gonna be a girls' night out anymore. Only because I invited Kennedy and some of his folks. I also told everyone to invite the fuck they want." And she said this in a monotonous voice which means she's not in a good mood.

She didn't ask about John. She didn't ask if I was sure. She didn't mind at all. It looks like that she's all vexed because of it. When I told her that I think I saw John, she hung up on me and eventually found me where I was standing. It took her ten minutes to find me. She held those classic "I miss you" and "I love you" balloons which is I suppose from Kennedy. She even had a bouquet of flowers from Kennedy
.
"He certainly missed you." I tried to clear the atmosphere, which didn't do anything because she just nodded and didn't even move a single muscle to turn to me. "Cam," I said apologetically. I knew I was at fault. A fault that I wasn't so sure of.

"So, John." I yelped. Here comes a bomb of blabber mouth from Cam. "Fuck him."

"...Okay?" I said gawkily.

"Seriously, fuck him. He disappears out of nowhere and now he shows up to you. What an actual douche bag. No offense," Offense taken. "But John is a big dick. I know you love him," I stiffly and immediately turned to her and raised an eyebrow. I do love John but not in a way that I'm in love. "Or not... Jane, promise me you'll never ever fall in love for him. In any way. Don't give in to his flirt powers." She actually concerned of my life. For the very first time wow.

"No problem. He's my old–I don't like to use 'ex' because it sound so informal and shit, best buddy. Yes, he is utterly ravishing but no way. Not on my radar." Defensive. I was defensive of what she said. Defensive because I know it was not going to happen, or maybe defensive because it was just might happen.

"Besides, I have Rob and I will never cheat on him." I added.

"What if he does?"

"Nope, he's a good guy now. I know he'll never do that again." I bit my lip. I was not sure at all. Rob is the type of guy that cheats and love who the fuck he wants but that was before. He lost his virginity during his spring break of freshmen year, he had 10 girlfriends in total, including me. He cheated two of his girlfriends. He's pretty much a jerk but his mom told me that he changed because of me. I was the longest girlfriend Rob ever had, and that's a good thing.

Cam pulled up and demanded me to bring the shopping bags inside her house while she prepare for the party. As much as I wanted to say no and tell her to do it by herself, I still did it only because she will do all the food and drinks anyway. I brought down everything and placed them over the counter top. I also placed the plates and punch bowl in the dining table. Kennedy came early to help us out.

"Hey," He greeted. I smiled at him, he did to in return. "Where's Cam?" He asked; putting his hand inside his front pockets. I was eating the cookies Cam bought so I just pointed upstairs and likewise, he went upstairs.

I tried calling Rob to tell him we're throwing a party and that dudes will be there so he better come or I'll fuck somebody yet he still hasn't answered so I just left a voice mail, hopefully he'll show up.

Cam and Kennedy went down, all snugly. Kennedy did miss Cam, so much that they had the guts to make out in front of me.

"Why the heck do you guys need to go down and make out in front of me when clearly you guys were in a room minutes ago." I snapped them out. "You know what, I'm going to drop by Rob's house to invite him." I grabbed my petty coat and left them. It's just a 30-minute walk to Rob's house anyway. A 30-minute walk.

Halfway there, he finally texted me. He texted me that he couldn't go and he's sorry because he and his father has gone fishing (for a week, who would even go fishing for a week?) and it was a no gadget activity that's why he can't reply to my messages and voice mails. He just sneaked out to text me and tell me that's he's all fine and he won't be back for a few more days. He even had a PS, "behave yourself. Go home at 10 and don't drink too much. Tell Cam I say hi and to take care of you. I love you." (Cam's like my mother and Rob's like my dad. Thanks.)

Instead of going to Rob's, I just went home to tell my mom Cam will be having a girls' night about and that I will be home at midnight.

My house was just a few blocks away from Rob's so I think that wouldn't make so much time for me. I stopped in front of my house, dad's pick-up truck wasn't there so I immediately knew dad isn't home.

"Mom?" I called out. I got the keys under the porcelain flower pot beside our front door. Mom never gave me the keys. She just leaves them there in case I would go home early and she's not there. Likewise, I saw her in the kitchen chopping some carrots.

"Honey, where have you been?" She looked at me for a second and continued chopping. "Steak's for dinner, your favorite. Your dad went golfing again." My mom knows me so well it makes her the best mother I could ever had.

"I won't be home for dinner." I spoke. "Cam's throwing a party and she wants me to be there." I licked my lip. My hands began to sweat. I didn't want to leave my mom knowing she prepared dinner for me and I won't be eating it. "I'll be home around 11," Lie. "And it's a girls' night out," Another lie. "I won't drink." And there again, another white lie. "I'll eat my steak when I get home. Love you mom. Bye!" Rule one: when telling something eeky, tell it fast and just run away. So that they wouldn't have the chance to tell you anything. You'll just leave them hanging.

And I just did that to my mom.

After telling her I won't be home and that I love her, I awkwardly waved at her and run off that very second. And also, I slammed the door. I just felt that I had to.

—

8 PM and the house is already half filled with people and music. Cam and Kennedy left to pick up Kennedy's friends, I was left alone. I didn't wear my peach dress I bought earlier because I would look so formal and that would be embarrassing. So I just wore a Star Wars muscle tee and jeans paired with low cut all-black converse. It's not a girls' night out anymore anyway. Cam's rules would not validate. I sat near by the pool at Cam's backyard, where the dudes are playing beer pong and playing around in the pool. I just held into my red cup and waited for Cam to get here.

Already drank 2 cups of alcohol and there was still no sign of Cam or Kennedy. I went to the front door to get fresh air and look for Cam's car. Before I could reach for the door, something fell from the ceiling. It was cheese. There was seven single-sliced cheese sticking on the ceiling.

"Cam is so going to kill me." I said under my breath. I'm so dead, and so is Cam when her mom finds out all her cheese are gone.

I grabbed a tissue and wiped my arm where the cheese fell out. It was sticky. Ironically, seeing a half-empty bottle of honey on the floor and I assumed they used that for longer hold of the cheeses.

I sat on the indigo colored beanbag in the living room and stared out the window. I almost forgot that I was supposed to open the door until I saw a few guys walking to the front door. I rushed to the door, only to see a man I never expected to see.

"John?" I dropped a jaw. I literally dropped my jaw when I saw him standing there in front of me. I swallowed hard. I couldn't believe it. It was him and I'm fucking sure with that.

"Excuse me young lads, I need to talk to my friend." Cam made her way to me. "Jane, sorry for the wait. These are Kennedy's band mates." Cam introduced each and everyone. I didn't catch everything because I couldn't take my eyes off John. He's here and he's not even talking to me.

Has he forgotten about me?

I smiled at everyone and opened the door wider for everyone to come in. John came in last. He let everyone passed by the both of us. He stood on the other side of the doorframe. I tried not looking at him as often as I could because it might creep him out. Finally, everyone has passed and John made his way and smiled at me.

He stood in front of me for a second; sliding down his black sunglasses just before the bridge of his nose ended he then whispered, "Please note this to yourself the next time you see a good-looking guy like me: staring is very rude, so don't." He placed his hands on his front pockets, slid back his fancy sunglasses and smirked. His voice was husky. He did hit puberty; in a good way (sexy voice and quite handsome) and bad way (an asshole).

"Excuse me? I was not looking at you. Why, can't I look at the tree behind you?" I basically pointed out at a invisible tree behind him. I tried to recalibrate my thoughts in away I won't look embarrassed when in the back of my mind I wanted to break down and cry, in front of him.

"I'm going to get a drink. Do you want a drink? I could get for you and your tree." He sarcastically said. He was beyond pathetic...or maybe I was?

"Oh." I mouthed. He changed.

I was lost. Lost with my thoughts, lost with reality and lost with myself. Could it be that John has forgotten about me? Reality was hitting on me.

I was even lost in finding my way to talk to Cam. I practically asked everyone I come across with if they saw Cam but seventy-five percent of them were half-drunk and tried to touch me.

"Cam!" I shouted as soon as I saw her standing at the dining hall with Kennedy. "Cam, I need to talk to you. Like right now, now." I pulled her with me and utterly smiled at Kennedy. He agreed anyway.

"What?" I released my grip.

"It's John."

"Wait. Is he here?"

"Yeah. You just picked him up with Kennedy, gosh."

"John? That's John? Kennedy's vocalist who ditched them and came back just now. That's your John?" I was confused but with the situation, I just nodded. "You're kidding, right? That can't be your John. He's not what you think he is. He slept with hundreds of women and never had a relationship with any of them. He's practically a jerk. Playboy at that." We stood in the hall way wherein John was just a few meters away from us and Cam is slightly shouting at me. I'm pretty sure he heard all that.

"I'm going to ask Kennedy." I did ask Kennedy and he told me that John had slept with girls but never had one girlfriend because for him love is bullshit. At first, I just practically laughed at Kennedy but I had to stop because he was serious about it. I didn't want to believe Kennedy, even though hearing it from one of John's best buddies, I still couldn't believe it–at all. The sweet John O'Callaghan who used to accompany me on my lonely days is now a jerk and most likely not a virgin who apparently doesn't believe in love because for him it is complete bullshit.

"Do you know why he left you guys?"

"Oh no. Nope. No explanations, nada." Everyone was practically shouting at me. Pat, the guy will longer and nicer hair than me, tried explaining but he somehow can't find the right words to explain. He was constantly stuttering. All I understood from what he said was "I don't know. We don't know why. He just simply disappeared. And, and...we, what's left of the band, tried...tried to, you know. Tried to find him. But, there are 50 states in, in America and 7 other continents with, with different countries and we don't have the time, and and money to travel everywhere." Pat is adorable. I find him cute.

I felt as if somebody was standing behind me. At that, I knew it was him. Everyone looked behind me and kept their mouth zipped. Pat stopped explaining too.

"He's behind me, isn't he?" I asked taking a deep breath. I turned around and greeted him "Hi." Just like that.

"So you guys are friends with this rude girl, huh?" John handed me my drink and the tree's drink. "That's for your tree." He pointed out.

He's actually surprisingly tall. I never really bothered knowing how tall (or small I am) he was up until now because he stood next to me and, I had to look up just to see his head and eyes. I don't know John now. He's a complete stranger to me. I don't know anything about him anymore but the fact he is still a charmer.

"Tree?" Cam questioned.

"Yeah. Yeah, uh, she was staring at me and, and then I told her how rude it was to stare. So she tried explaining, telling me she was looking at the tree behind me when in fact, there was none." He said with laughs and pauses in between. I just basically embarrassed myself. Not only to John but to the whole crew. I now know what major to take when I get to college, 'How to Get Embarrassed with Jane Dawson 101'.

"What's with the weird faces?" John nudged me.

"Nothing." I mumbled.

"Okay. Truth or Dare time!" Cam shouted. "We need to talk after this." She said under her teeth.

Everyone walked slowly, except Cam, to the stairs to Cam's room. The living room was dirty to be sat down. Cam's room was clean. Everything was peach and red. She obsess over those colors. Even her closet were mostly peach. Her room had a good lighting to see everyone and it was spacious for all of us to seat down on the red fluffy rug she has. Cam got her medium sized glass bottled to be spun.

"Every time you can't take a dare, you'll drink a shot of booze." Cam ruled out.

"Let's do this!" Garrett shrieked with excitement. Cam spun the bottle and pointed first at Jared.

"You can do this Jared!" Kennedy cheered. It was like Jared's going to crossover a rind of fire using a skateboard.

"Truth or dare?" Cam asked. We were like freshmen. Such old-fashion game. Jared answered anyway. Cam dared him to place a tampon in his nose and he did. At first, Jared said he wanted truth but John came off and told everyone that we was a man of few words and he will not answer anything you ask of him. So, as default Cam took it as a dare. Jared didn't say thing and just placed the tampon in his nose. Everyone laughed hysterically and it was still a game on.

Garrett was pointed by the bottle next. We dared him to turn his pants inside out and wear them on the opposite side, his back pockets in front and zipper at the back like on his ass. Cam had her turn and did a dare of jumping in the pool naked. It was John's idea. Pat had his turn. He ate all the cheese that was stuck in the ceiling. Kennedy did a truth which led to his angst against John but didn't bother him at all. It was John's turn and he did a dare. We cared him to ask a girl out, only wearing a latex shorts and socks. The girl was too terrified that she barfed in front of John and stormed out. Didn't work out so he drank a shot of booze. Cam had her turn again and Kennedy dared her to make out with Garrett. Garrett, on the other hand, didn't want to do it because he thinks it's betrayal against Kennedy and his girlfriend. Cam drank a shot of booze.

"Jane haven't had her chance." John happily announced. It was like he was trying to sabotage me. "Jane," he turned to me. Of course. "Truth or dare, honey."

"Dare, obviously." I sighed. It was the moment of truth. John will dare me to do something so stupid that will make me embarrassed enough, and I would have to live under a rock.

"I dare you to strip." John demanded. He wants me to what? "Come on, I dare you to strip."

"I would never strip. I'd rather drink a booze than do that in front of you." I crossed my arms and fiercely raised an eyebrow. "Stripping? Me? Haha never in a million years."

"John, why don't you kiss Jane?" Cam demanded. "You're daring Jane something she can't do. And I know for a fact that I'm daring you something that you can't do." I shook my head and covered them with my hands. I looked at Cam and mouth at her 'You're not helping at all.'

"Me? Can't kiss Jane? That's easy as pie, Cam." He cupped my face and leaned closer.

"What the fuck? Get off me! I'm not kissing you and you're not kissing me." I hissed. He shrugged and told Cam that he can do it but I won't let him do it. Why in the world would I let a complete stranger that was once my friend but took off kiss me? N to the O, no.

"Both of you are pathetic and such a chicken." Kennedy said.

"Oh, I'm a chicken, huh?" I started removing my muscle shirt and polo tied just below my hips, I tied my hair and threw my shoes and removed my jeans. Everyone was in shock and cheered on me. John just sat there with his mouth opened, smiling stupidly from time to time. I sat down on John's lap; facing him and only on my underwear. He stretched his legs and paralleled them.

"Who's the chicken now?" I whispered. He leaned closer. I felt his hot breath over my sticky skin.

"You forgot to remove your bandeau." He said under his breath.

"Oh, right." Sensation went down low. I just laughed in front of him. I removed my bandeau. As soon as I saw John's face, he leaned forward and kissed me. I felt his warm hands on my waist.

"We only dared you guys for a kiss, not a make out session." Cam hovered anxiously. I let go of John. I mouthed him "I still hate you." I still do. I only did that for the sake of not being called a chicken. I am not a chicken, for your information. I am a human being. John just chuckled, still sitting on the floor with one leg folded. Cam brought my clothes and I went straight to the washroom. Cam came in too. She practically scolded me softly for being so 'flirty' to John. Stripping and kissing him, as if I was a hooker or a one-night-stand-fucked-up-girl. She hates herself for demanding the dare when earlier, she just cussed John for what he did years back. She was not mad, actually. She was proud of me. I don't understand her fifty percent of the time.

"Everything that happened in this house, stays in this house. Understand? Rob will kill the both of us." Cam pushed me softly in the shoulder. She left immediately.

I freshening up and wore my clothes again. I felt bad for myself. I regret that I did that. I did that to John and behind Rob's back. Cam's last few words still rumbling inside my head. I have to tell Rob. Tendencies are he'll break up with me or he'll be perfectly okay with it. Don't take the risk. Don't tell Rob. Keep your mouth shut and stuff it all in, Jane. You just can't. I said to myself in the mirror. I took a deep breath and opened the door behind me. I found no one in the room, I assumed they went down stairs already.

I saw John leaning next to the sliding door leading to the backyard. I grabbed him by the arms and pulled him to the counter.

"Whatever happened upstairs awhile ago is just a one night stand okay. I still don't like you and still hate you. You, you shit." I said.

"Whoa there rude girl. Don't take anything serious, okay. Your stripping was ugly and you're not a good kisser." John chuckled.

"Okay..." Hold on. "Fuck you."

"Fuck you too." He winked and held up his cup. He handed me a half-filled (or half-empty) cup of alcohol and without hesitation, I drank everything. We just drink the night away.