And Going Away Means Forgetting

Senior year is harder than what you thought it would be. College applications here and there, pressure from your friends to go out and don't even give a fuck about anything, and balancing your own wants and needs (don't forget your family too.)
Everyone is so calm besides me. Yes, I'm an average person. I'm not smart nor too dumb but how come I'm the only senior who is worried sick about her college.

"You know, you're the only senior who came to my office so far to talk about her...or his college. That's great for you. That is if you don't overly-stress it, okay? Nice seeing you today, Jane." My guidance counselor smiled at me before she dismissed me.

I spent my lunch break running around the campus to get application forms, to talk to my guidance counselor about college, to do all my unfinished homework and eat a banana.

"You look so stressed out. What's up?" Cam sat down beside me in the lunch table. She hovered the pile of papers sitting next to me. "College applications, eh?" I nodded and rolled my eye. I knew she was going to give me advice not to stress over it but Cam doesn't understand my parents. Education is everything to my parents even if they're on the urge of having a divorce (another pressure in my life).

"I'm too full for your advice today, Cam. Your upcoming-long-and-quite-not-helpful advice will only pressure me more." I let out a deep sigh. "It's just that, there's so much to worry about. I'm sorry." She still ate lunch next to me but didn't blabber anything.

I didn't intend to offend her. I just wanted to tell her something, something that an extrovert person won't highly understand. Surprisingly, she did. She kept quite the whole time. She even said, "See you later!" and shared her salad with me; a perfectly okay Cam would do.

I didn't see Cam after classes because he came.

"Were you waiting here the whole day?" As soon as I saw his car in the parking lot, I walked to him. Of course, I recognized his car.

"No, I came back," he checked is watch, "just a few minutes ago. I texted Cam." Leaning to his car with his hand shoved into his pockets; looking at me straight in the eye. I knew he wanted something. Why would he be here if he doesn't need or want anything from me?

"What do you want?" I squinted my eyes to look at him; 4 p.m. and the sun was still up and bright. He chuckled–and once again, and I still find it cute.

"Nothing. I just want to take you home. Is there something wrong with that? I drove you this morning so why not take you home as well." He smiled. Never fall for any of his conditions whatsoever.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards his car. I hopped in without hesitations, I mean, duh, free ride going home.

-

His radio was off this time. So everything was just silence, we both didn't utter a word until I noticed it wasn't the way home.

Maybe shortcut? I thought. I looked at him, confused. Again, he chuckled before saying a word. "You owe me something remember? You used my gas this morning, I will use your money in favor."

I laughed at him, like literally laughed at him.

"Take me out to dinner tonight." He said.

I stopped laughing for a second and replied, "Excuse me? I tried to say no but you insist on doing it anyway. Not my fault." I owed him something because I used his gas? Well, he owe me for wasting my time.

"Dinner tonight or whole day tomorrow." He exclaimed. Is he hitting on me?

"Haha John, haha. Nice try but I have a boyfriend." I pushed him softly in the shoulder.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not asking for a date." He laughed. "It's just something you owe me this morning. And excuse you, I, too, have a girlfriend."

"Oh really? What's her name?"

"Prabha. She's from, uh," he paused. "N-New York."

"Hmm, New York huh? Is that why she's not here with you?"

"Y-yea, yeah."

Completely forgetting what Kennedy and Pat told me last night. He never had a girlfriend.

-

Basically, John wanted McDonald's for dinner. That's all he wanted. He drove us to fucking McDonald's for dinner. He order as much as he wanted because he missed McDonald's and he's not gonna pay for it anyway. He was in New York with his girlfriend and he never went to McDonald's? That's ridiculous.

It was pass 6 p.m when we started eating dinner together. He had two large fries, two 6-piece McNuggets, and a salad. He was that hungry.

"So, tell me your story." He said while chewing his soggy fries.

"Story?"

"Yeah, your life." He shoved three more fries.

"Okay, uh, I'm currently on my senior year. I still live with my parents. I've never been out of east coast. I've never been to New York." I paused and smirked at him. He chuckled. "Uh, what else. Oh, I've been to California, it's basically my second home. I had this friend who left me. I-I don't know. He was my only friend back then, and he, he you know, uh, left me without saying anything." I was giving him clues with my memories with him without actually realizing I was.

He didn't look at me nor say anything. He continued eating his salad and fries. He was saving his precious McNuggets for later.

"So, what's your story?"

He swallowed hard before speaking, "I don't remember half of my memories whatsoever. I-I didn't have amnesia or anything but I'm good at forgetting everything. I mean," he laughed. "I've already forgotten what I did three days ago."

Is that why he forgot who I was? Is that the reason why he never had a single girlfriend?

"I actually forgot where I had been these past years. It's like I forget everything when I sleep, like a piece from my memory lane is taken away whenever I sleep. I-I don't know."

"Then how did you remember I owed you something?" I tried to lighten up the atmosphere. I didn't want to talk about something tragic that will make everyone mad and fucked up. It was good time, a great time to be happy.

I laughed at my own sarcasm, he did too. That moment was precious and short. Everything stood still when he looked at me, laughing. His eyes were greenest of the green. It was happy, it was cheerful but you could see sorrow behind those lovely eyes. I never thought McDonald's would be a place where I could be reunited with John. It's like everything's back together again but with a new John. An unknown John. Same name, same height, same everything but empty memory lane.

"Oh shit."