Welcome to Paradise

He’s laughing at me, just standing there laughing but with those horrible black eyes. I just to move to look away but I can’t, he steps closer moving towards me. Always laughing as he looms closer and closer to me, why can’t I run? I just want to run away and hide and never see those eyes again.
“Jack...Jack” he whispers.
“Go away” I whimper.
“JACK” The voice is louder, I snap awake opening my eyes to see Rian looking at me with a worried expression.
“Are you alright?” he asks, I shake my head. I feel tired and my body heavy. Where am I? I look around, squinting at the bright light. I’m on the bus but not in my bunk. “W...Where am I?”
“On the floor” he laughs, taking my hand and pulling me shakily to my feet.
“How did I get down there?”
“Your guess is as good as mine” he says. “What the hell happened last night?” I try to remember, the nightmare coming back to me and my knees go weak.
“Wow there Jack” Rian catches me before I hit the floor again. He leads me over to couch; I lie down and pull my legs up tight to my chest.
“You okay?” he asks, taking in my pathetic appearance.
“Alex cheated on me” I mumble.
“He what?”
“He fucking cheated on me Rian”
“Oh Jack.... I’m sorry” He comes and sits next to me, putting his hand on my back.
Want to go take a shower? No offence, but you look awful” I nod and slowly make my way to the bathroom. I hear Rian start talking to Matt behind me, probably saying how now I’m a shit guitarist and boyfriend. I shower, washing a greasy feeling from my hair, but as I stand and look in the mirror I see my own eyes. Dark brown, dark circles underneath but no black eyes, I must have just dreamt it, no one’s eyes can really be black.
I don’t see Alex all morning, which isn’t exactly surprising he’s never been a morning person. I just want to crawl into his bunk and for him to tell me it was just a nightmare, that none of it was real but I can remember him sitting there. His legs wrapped around the other guy all too well for it to be anything but real.
“Jack?” Matt comes to the back lounge where I’m sitting, half heartily watching Home Alone trying to cheer myself up.
“Yeah”
“Will you be alright to go tonight? If not we’ll just say you’re ill and post pone the show”
“No, no I’ll be fine. I don’t want to disappoint the kids”
“Knew you could do it” he pats me on the shoulder and gets up.
“Wait Matt”
“Yep”
“Is it possible for people to have to black eyes?”
“Black eyes? Nah man I don’t think so. Why’d you ask?”
“Oh just something I saw on Twitter” I lie.
“No, I don’t think that’s possible” He walks off just as Kevin McAllister says the famous line. “Keep the change you filthy animal”
I don’t do anything for the rest of the day, even when the rest of the band go sightseeing I stay on the bus. I’m not in the mood, and I’d rather be far away from Alex. I’m still lying on the couch when everything comes back but I sneak out, I need some fresh air before we go on tonight. I lean against the bus, I’ve never dreaded going on stage before but for the whole of our life as a band I’ve been with Alex to be not with him in a sense is scary. I have to go up there and act like it’s all okay, when every time I see him I either want to punch him or fall into his arms and for him to tell me this is some horrible nightmare.
“Jack? Jack are you out there?” Speak of the devil...
“Yeah”
“I wondered where you’d disappeared to” he says, coming out to join me.
“Really? You care now?” I don’t mean to snap but it just comes out.
“Oh Jack don’t be like that” he says, he comes over to me wearing a pair of very skinny jeans, a GK t shirt and one of his grey beanies. I feel my heart flutter, I try to push the feeling away, I can’t feel like that anymore.
“You’re the one that fucking cheated” I mutter.
“I explained, I said I’m not good at the whole ‘break up’ talk” he says, stepping closer and closer towards me.
“Why though? What did I do to you?” I try not to cry, for some reason I don’t want him to see me break again.
“Oh Jacky, we’re in a famous band, we travel the world playing music why people scream our names. Do you think I’d stay with you? That annoying voice from inside my head, who was stupid enough to get in a car crash in the first place” Alex is standing in front of me now, his hands placed either side of my head.
“Y...You’re not Alex” I say shakily.
“Oh aren’t I?” His face inches from mine his eyes change, that horrible black, the emptiness where his beautiful chocolate irises once were.
“Get away from me!” I yell, shoving him backwards.
“Jack, don’t start that now” his eyes flash back to normal, and there’s an evil looking smirk on his lips.
“Where’s Alex? What have you done to him?”
“Nothing I assure you, he’s right here” he points at himself.
“You’re not him, you can’t be” I back away from him.
“And why’s that Jacky?”
“Alex, my Alex doesn’t have fucking black eyes!” His smirk slips for a moment, his expression going dark.
“But I am Alex”
“Not you’re not” I yell, I turn and run. I don’t know where I’m running but I’ve got to get away from him... Him but not Alex, there’s no way that’s my Alex.