Over Again

We landed at the airport the next morning, and Paul met us there, grinning as he got out of the car and saw me.

I smiled and met him halfway, squeezing him in a hug.

“How are you, love?” He greeted, taking my bag and putting it in the car.

“I’m good.” I smiled in thank you and hopped in the SUV next to Niall.

I yawned and leaned my head on his shoulder until we got to the hotel.

When we got there, I noticed the mass of fans waiting outside and took a deep breath, looking at Niall. He bit his lip and I grabbed his hand, Paul leading the way as we walked through the group to the door.

“You good?” I asked Niall once we got inside. He nodded once and Paul sighed, handing me a key.

“Alright, kids, go upstairs to the rooms and rest. Show tonight.” He stated. “Bails, Harry’s in the room next to Niall.”

I nodded and saluted him, following Niall up the stairs. Niall motioned to Harry’s room and hugged me before departing into his own room to sleep.

I took a deep breath and opened Harry’s door, seeing him buried under a mass of covers.

I sighed and walked over, moving the covers up and laying down next to him, looking over to see his eyes open.

He wordlessly pulled me into him, squeezing me there with a death grip.

I ran a hand through his hair.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked quietly after a few minutes, pulling back a little bit and kissing the tip of his nose.

His eyes were bloodshot and he looked exhausted. My heart broke.

He shook his head and pulled me back into him, kissing the top of my head and holding me there.

“Haz, talk to me.” I insisted.

He sighed and let me go, rolling over to look at the ceiling. I grabbed his hand and waited for him to start talking.

“I just…” He sighed. “It’s just not fair. And I hate feeling like this.”

“Like what?” I asked, running my thumb in circles over the back of his hand.

“Like, I can’t sleep ever anymore.” He took a breath. “I’m always so busy and there’s so much pressure to do everything perfect. To perform perfect, to act perfect. And we never get to talk as much as I want to and I just… I miss you so much while we’re apart I-“

His voice broke and I reached up to stroke his cheek.

“And then Niall gets to see you like it’s just so damn easy for him to go see you and be close to you and I just wanted to be next to you.”

He took a shaky breath and I sighed.

“Hey, hey, Haz, it’s okay.” I said quietly, wrapping my arm around his middle and kissing his chest gently.

“It’s not okay, because I can’t ever just be there for you and what happens when we get married and have a family someday and it’s just… It’s not fair.”

I sighed. He had to have been bottling this inside for a long time.

“Harry, look at me.” I commanded gently, pulling his face up by the chin. “This was not going to be an easy relationship, and we knew that going in to it. When I agreed to marry you, I knew it would be hard, but I love you so much, it’s going to all be worth it, okay? These past few months have been hard, adjusting to it the hectic lifestyle again, sure, but the two of us can endure anything.”

Harry shook his head.

“I just…” He closed his eyes, and I wiped a tear away from under them with my thumb. “I’m just tried and I want you to lay with me.”

“Harry, babe, I’m not going anywhere. Ever. You’re stuck with me. Go to sleep.”

He pulled me into his side and I draped a leg over him, humming softly in his ear.

I don’t know how he got so broken and I didn’t notice.

How long had he been suffering silently?

I closed my eyes to avoid those thoughts and pushed his hair out of his eyes.

“I love you.” I whispered softly as his breath evened out into sleep. “Don’t forget that.”