Roses, Her Favorite

There was an early spring chill in the air as he made his way down the path. Gravel crunched under his converse, giving every animal within a ten-mile radius warning of his approach. A gust of wind blew a chunk of his hair into his eyes, he had to sit the flowers he was holding down in order to fix it. Roses, her favorite.

Anxiously he searched, thinking at first he had the wrong place. He quickened his pace, finally spotting her. She was sitting in her spot next to the willow tree, right near where they first met. He slowly squatted down until they were parallel from each other. He winced as his knee cracked, knowing she would giggle at the sound. She always made fun of him for it, calling him an old man with such creaky joints. But, he didn't mind.

"Look, I know we haven't talked in a while. I'm really sorry about that, I got busy. I know it's no excuse but…." He stopped himself and looked towards her. She remained silent, like she always did, waiting for him to explain himself. What could he say to her? What would make the pain of not being together every waking moment, subside? What would make her forgive him? "Remember that one time…." This seemed to be a good start, maybe reliving his favorite moments with her would bring some penance. Their relationship was based on storytelling, this had to help.

"We were driving to the beach, you shouting direction at me like always. 'Make a left!! A LEFT!! OH MY GOSH ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING? A LEFT!'" He mimicked her voice, knowing she would find it funny. "And I got so frustrated with you that I pulled off to the side of the road, got out and started walking. You came running after me, asking what I thought I was doing. I told you I couldn't stand being in the car with someone yelling at me. And all you said was, 'Well dude, you aren't standing. You're sitting in the car with someone yelling out you.'" He smiled.

"Your wit would be the death of you, I swear. We finally got to the beach. You finished the drive, and you of course knew exactly where we were going. I still can’t get over how quick you were out of the car and off running towards the ocean. Meanwhile, I set up our picnic lunch. The light blue blanket almost the same color as the sky, and cold cuts from your favorite deli downtown. I looked up and couldn't find you for a minute, but then you burst through the water looking like something out of a movie- Free Willy, just kidding. Your hair was a mess, plastered against your face, and your clothes were clinging to you. But your eyes-" He paused lost in the memory. "Your eyes shone with so much excitement and happiness, they put the sun to shame."

He looked at her for a second. "Nothing? Really? Jeez, someone's in a bad mood." He smirked at her, but she only stared back with a stony look. "Fine, remember when we walked to the park after school? We sat in the field closet to the playground because you loved hearing the kids' laughing. You tried to explain Algebra 2 to me and I felt like dying because I just didn't get it. Still don't, in case you were wondering. I flopped back onto the grass. You stood up and looked down at me. 'Well, if you aren't going to at least try, I'm leaving.' You told me. I sat back up and was treated to the sight of you sitting on a now vacant swing. You started swinging your legs back and forth and you flew into the air. The trees above the swing set cast shadows around you and it reminded me of that scene Bridge to Terabithia ."

He glanced at her hoping the reference to her favorite movie would stir her still demeanor. He slapped the ground next to him, "Dammit! Answer me! God, please just say something, anything." She just sat there, waiting for him to say something else. "What about the day we met? Do you actually remember that? Because I do, every detail.

Walking into the library to find a book for my report, and seeing you struggling to reach a book on the top shelf. Your hair was pulled up into ponytail with strands falling out and framing your face. Your t-shirt, featuring one of my favorite bands across it, riding up each time you tried to grab it. I sat my stuff down at the table, walked over, and offered to help. You shook your head at me and said you could reach it and resumed straining every part of your body just trying to grab the book. I stood there watching you, trying to figure out why you just wouldn't let me help you.

You glanced my way once before you backed up from the shelf. You took a running leap in a final attempt at getting that damn book. I swear, I have never seen someone bounce off a bookshelf quite like you. You stumbled back, I tried to catch you, and we both went down. It's a wonder the shelf didn't collapse on us. I helped you up and then got the book for you. The look you gave me - if looks could kill I would be dead on the spot. You snatched the book at of my hands and seethed a thanks before hurrying to the table and plopping open the book, the same table I had just sat my stuff at.

I slid into the seat across from yours and tried to figure out what I could say to you. What do you say to the cute girl who was angry at you for trying to help? So I went with a simple 'sorry for trying to help you.' You glared up at me and muttered something under your breath that rhymed with "click" and I laughed. I asked you what you were reading and you sighed and held up the book.

Turns out it was one of my favorites. I told you and your eyes went wide, and you whispered, 'Really?' I nodded and you excitedly starting asking me things about the book and we talked for over an hour about our favorites parts and the characters we loved, hated, and loved to hate. Your eyes sparkled as you talked about the book, and your voice went all over the place as your excitement came through. Anyone else would have thought you were crazy, but I loved it. You were so passionate about it. You checked your phone and your ride was there, you closed the book and handed it to me before walking out into the world. I flipped through the book and stopped when I found a small, folded piece of paper. Printed on it was a phone number.

On a whim, I pulled out my phone and called. And instead of a hello, I got a ‘took you long enough.’ I could hear the smile in your voice. From that day forward we became best friends.” Reliving the memory brought hundreds more flying back to him. He could sit here forever just telling these stories, but he couldn't. His bus was leaving any moment now, and he would be gone. Maybe it was worth one more try…

"Remember the last night we hung out before….well….you know. We were lying on the trampoline in my backyard. It was a little bit past midnight and we were watching the stars. You pointed out what the constellations were, and I told you the myths behind them. You stopped all of the sudden and looked over at me. 'Do you think when people die they become one of the stars?' I looked over towards you, searching for your face in the darkness. And I just said maybe. I honestly didn't know, and I still don't. I saw a glint in the darkness and realized you were crying. I asked what was wrong and you told me you were afraid of dying. I didn't know what else to do so I pulled you into my arms.

I told you there was no use worrying about it, when it happens, it happens. We have to live life now and not worry about the end. Maybe it wasn't the best way to comfort you, but in truth I was scared to. My biggest fear is dying, I just didn't want you to know. You just nodded against my shoulder before rolling back to your spot on the trampoline. I thought the discussion was over when you turned back to me again.
'When I die, will you meet me there?'
'Will I meet you where?' You simply shrugged your shoulders and turned back to the sky. 'Wherever it is we go, be it the cosmos, heaven, or hell. Will you meet me wherever we go? I don't want to be alone.' I reached over and grabbed your hand squeezing it once before replying.
'Be it the cosmos, heaven, or hell, I'll meet you there.'"

He tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. "We stayed there and talked until the sky faded to light blue. Everything seemed perfect. You were the first girl to ever actually make me feel happy. Real happiness, not that fake crap I put out there every day. Around you, the sun seemed to shine brighter, the sky was bluer. Hell, even Monday's were bearable as long as you were there waiting for me after school. You were my everything, I should have tried to…….I should have known…." He shook his head and brushed his hair out of his eyes. He could feel the tears slowly start dripping down his face. "I'm sorry I wasn't there...that night. I just wish I could reach back in time and pull you here. Pull you next to me and make everything okay" He laid the flowers down over the freshly piled dirt.

He rubbed the dust and dirt off the headstone and committed what it said to memory. "I hope you can forgive me." He felt a breeze blow through, and petals from the blooming trees gently floated around him. She was there, he could feel it. "I hope you knew I loved you." He slowly got up before turning and walking away.

He got there just in time for his bus. "Last bus to New York for the night!" The driver called out as everyone piled on. Luckily, there was an empty seat in the back. He sat down and swung his legs up onto the seat. He pulled a picture out of his pocket. Two smiling faces peered straight out into his. He was standing in front of the white fence surrounding her house. In his arms, she was striking a pose. The photo was taken as they were getting ready for prom. Her dress dipped the ground and she had thrown her arm around his shoulders and you could see her corsage. Roses, her favorite.