Secret Smiles in the Snow

“So Si, why did you do it?” Machol asked before stuffing his face with some leftovers of the beef stew. All of the kitchen hands were seated at a dining table, having their meal before they finished the cleaning and headed to bed.

“What?” Sina grunted deeply, keeping her eyes fixed on her plate. She hadn’t been listening to their conversation as she had been daydreaming about how Jon had taken her up on the Wall for the first time the other day. Sina had enjoyed the views and the company.

“Why’d you rob those merchants?” Machol clarified and Bel leaned in closer for the details. Corn, nicknamed for his tendency to eat corn scraps and pinch the cobs from his friend’s plates when they weren’t looking, gave Sina a nudge to the ribs.

“Go on. We all want to know,” Corn encouraged.

“I needed to get out of Highgarden. It seemed like the easiest way for a lowborn,” Sina shrugged, not revealing any new information.

“Why though? Highgarden’s a great place, isn’t it?” Bel questioned with a frown, proving that he did indeed pay attention to what she said.

“I wasn’t wanted there,” Sina said quietly, trying to shrug off their prying.

“Was it your father?” Bel continued as he scratched his blonde stubble, and Sina’s eyes flicked up in an angered stare.

“He didn’t want you, huh?” Corn continued in a softer voice, barely heard by Sina as others at their table were standing and taking their empty dishes back to the kitchen. “Not man enough for him? Too short, thin, ugly-”

“Not as ugly as you, my friend,” Sina interrupted and the group of friends broke into laughter. “So I was given the choice of my hand or my freedom. I chose my hand and headed north. End of story.”

“Wait, hang on,” Machol said in a thoughtful tone. “I don’t even know how much of a man you are. I never see you piss, or bathe, nothin’. You deformed or something? Is that why he wanted you gone?” Sina had stopped laughing and narrowed her eyes at the dark-haired man sitting across from her. She wanted to punch him across his rounded jaw but she refrained from doing so, partly because she knew that she wasn’t strong enough to do any damage.

“Well show us your cock, then,” Bel agreed, intrigued by seeing something out of the ordinary.

“You perverts,” Sina mumbled before shoving the last piece of carrot in her mouth and standing. Corn grabbed her arm and heaved her back down.

“You’re not a man, are you?” he whispered, only to earn a glare from Sina. “You looked and sounded like a girl before when you were laughing.” Sina’s heart dropped into her guts as she became frightened and nervous. All this time Jon hammered it in her head to not smile, and she had ruined her disguise by relaxing with men she thought were her friends.

“Of course I’m-” Sina started, being cut off as Corn suddenly threw his arm between her legs. She grabbed it and pushed it away, giving him a jab to his abdomen with her elbow.

“Si! Corn! Cut it out! Get back to work!” the head cook shouted, but the group barely took any notice.

“Well?” Machol questioned Corn eagerly. Corn just stared at Sina with wide eyes, his shocked expression proving to the other two that Si wasn’t the man they thought he was.

“No way,” Bel breathed as he covered his gaping mouth.

“It’s not what you think!” Sina started but she was spoken over by the men.

“What are you doing here? It’s not safe!” Bel hissed with concern.

“There are rapists here, Si!” Machol added in a low voice.

“Are you hiding from someone? Do you need us to kill him?” Corn offered and Sina took a moment to lean back and just stare at the three friends she had made since coming to the Wall.

“You don’t seem too concerned about the fact that I’m not a man,” she pointed out, confused as to why they weren’t hauling her out back to rape.

“I don’t think that really matters,” Bel shrugged and Machol nodded in agreement.

“You’re our friend, and we’re brothers- well, sort of,” Corn said with a grin. “I’m not going to do anything stupid.” The other two vocalised their agreement and Sina relaxed considerably.

“Please don’t say a word to anyone,” she pleaded and they all nodded, much to her relief.