Miles Away

Kellin.

He lives 2,342 miles away from me. I’ve never met face to face with him; however, I’ve chatted with him multiple times over the internet. Quite frankly, I know this is probably a stupid and childish thing to say, but I’m in love with him.

It all started one day when I came home from school crying my eyes out, just wanting so badly to end it all, for all of this bullying and harassing to stop. I posted a video of me on the internet saying I was completely done with the bullshit. I said I was done crying everyday because of people at my school shoving me into lockers and knocking over my lunch tray during lunch. I just didn’t see the point of breathing anymore.

That’s when I got a comment on my video, linking me to a video chatting site. I was dumb for opening it because I was ready to kill myself. I even had a gun in my hand, cocked and ready to pull the trigger right to my head. I figured no one needed me anymore, not even my friend Matty.

I still had tears dripping from my eyes when I popped up the video. I hastily tried to wipe them away. There, I saw him, a boy with shoulder-lengthed hair with tanned skin. A cute little nose ring was planted perfectly on his nose. His eyes were full of concern and hope. We talked for three hours straight, but it was a matter of time before he had to leave. He told me to make him a promise; to never ever think about killing myself.

Why should I listen to him? I didn’t even know this guy. Even though I didn’t really know anything about him, he was the only one to care enough to respond back to me. I guess a long chat was just what I needed to help me calm down and collect my thoughts, so I listened to him.

He passed down his number to me and told me that he would text me in the morning when he woke up, and he didn’t lie to me. I received the cutest good morning text from him, after I rubbed my eyes from awakening. That’s when I knew he was gonna stick around for a while. Everyday, from that day on, I was excited to get home just so I can talk to him about how my day went. He would always make me feel so good inside, like he actually gave a shit about me, unlike everyone else. He even helped me cope with my self-harm. I stopped crying and started being happier, knowing he was there for me.

That boy…was Vic Fuentes.

Vic.

I’ve been talking to Kellin for over a year now, but only by video chat. It was about that time when I broke the news to him, telling him that I would finally be able to travel across the country to Michigan. I never gave him a specific date. All I did was tell him to be ready when I appear at his door. He thought I was lying to him and started crying, saying that it’s not a joke to play on him, and closed the chat right on my face. Of course, that part hurt me inside. I tried calling him back on the video chat, but…he never clicked on accept. In fact, he never got on the internet with me after that call. No more video chats happened between us, no more text messages, no more random calls at night before we went to bed. It all just…stopped.

One night, I left him a voicemail saying that I wasn’t lying about flying out to Michigan. I even confessed to him saying that I loved him. Still, no response. I was afraid that he might’ve killed himself and went back on his promise that he made me. I had no idea what happened to him, so I constantly left him voicemails, text messages, and video conversations, hoping he would reply back to one of them. But again, no response.

I was on video chat very late on a school night, just waiting for him to get on and talk to me, and finally, he opened up the video and I saw his wonderful face.

He had been crying again. He hasn’t cried in front of me for so long, since the first time I started chatting with him. I asked him why he was crying and he said he was done living. People at his school were giving him shit and making fun of him for being gay. He didn’t want to live on in this shitty world, but I convinced him to hold on for one more night because he wouldn’t regret it. Just one night was all he needed. I told him if something good doesn’t happen in his life before the clock strikes 12 at midnight, then he can kill himself, but I won’t let him.

I know he wouldn’t regret it.

Kellin.

For some strange reason, I was still holding on when I wanted to die over a year ago. The only thing that kept me going was Vic; how much he actually cared for me, how badly he needed me to stay alive. One night was all he gave me and then it would be over. No more misery from being alone, no more name calling in school, no more anything for me. Just seven hours away before I let myself go forever.

It was five in the afternoon when I heard a door knocking. I sighed and quickly walked to the door, opened it, and stared at the most precious human being I could ever lay eyes on.

I froze and went wide-eyed, not believing what I was seeing.

“Wow, you’re even more beautiful in person.”

It was him, the boy of my dreams, the boy that I fell in love with over video chat almost a year ago.

“V-Vic…how d-did you find me?”

“It took a couple hours, but now I’m here in Michigan. Look Kellin, there’s something I wanted to tell you. I’m not here visiting anyone. I’m here…to stay…with you, if you want me to.”

“Yes, yes I want you too! I c-can’t believe it.”

He pulled me in for the tightest hug. My body was smashed, but I didn’t really care. He was finally here with me. He wasn’t ever going to leave me and that’s a great feeling.

“Kellin?”

“Hmmm?”

“I’m here now. No more crying, no more hurting yourself because I’m here with you, and I swear on my life I won’t leave you. I love you so much. Whenever you need me, I‘ll be there…always. Just say my name and I‘ll run to the rescue. I don‘t ever want you to kill yourself, do you hear me? I want you to live on and see the world ahead of you.”

“I only want to see the world with you, Vic. Only you.” I let a tear trickle down my eye, not bothering to wipe it away. This boy saved my life and I could never repay him.

“I’ll always be with you.”

“You promise?”

He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “On my life, I promise.”

We spent the rest of the day cuddled up next to each other, and for the rest of our lives, he was mine. I don't have to chat with him on the internet anymore because, well, he's right by my side. And right now, the only thing on my mind was kissing those gorgeous lips of his.

"Vic?"

"Yes?"

"I want to kiss you."

"Kiss me, Kellin. Kiss me as much as you please."