Daydreamer

It’s been three days since I last seen Tyler.

I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss him. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t regret what I said to him.
I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t feel utterly horrible for hitting him.

I’m still mad at him, but now I’m mad at myself.

Once again, I wanted to hold him in my arms. I wanted to apologize for what I said and did. I wanted to kiss him, touch him.

I wanted to tell him how much I love and care about him.

But, I’m still mad at him.

I ran my trembling hands through my hair and sighed.
At least I cleaned up most of the mess from my last episode.

I just have to keep myself calm and stay in control.

But constantly having Tyler in my thoughts isn’t helping, is it?

I groaned in annoyance when the sound of the doorbell rung through the house.

It’s nine fuckin’ o’ clock at night! Who the fuck…?

“I’m coming! Goddamn…!”
I charged downstairs and opened the door.

“…Shit.”

I’d really take the thoughts rather than being face-to-face with him right now.
But I guess I can’t have everything I want, now can I?

“I know you’re not happy to see me…but…you were the closest…”

He avoided looking at me and his body was tense.

A busted lip. A bruise under his eye. More marks and bruises clearly visible on his neck and arms.

“Tyler…What happened?”

He still didn’t look at me.

“Tyler, answer me!”
I grabbed a hold of his wrist, causing him to cry out.

He stared up at me with wide eyes filled with fear.

“Please…! Let go…! I’m sorry…!”

He was now shaking, his eyes begging for me to do what he asked.
I pulled him inside and closed the door before I let go of him.

He dropped to the floor and covered his face with his hands, sobbing into them.
I knelt down in front of him and hesitantly placed my hands onto his shoulders.

“Tyler…Please, tell me what happened.”
He didn’t respond.

I bit down on my lip and pulled him into my arms.

His sobs died down a little as he pulled away a little to look up at me.
I gently placed my hands on his cheeks and wiped the tears away.

I observed the bruise under his eye and his bleeding lip and my hands began to shake.

“Did Austin do this to you?”
He shook his head.

“Are you sure?”
He nodded.

I picked him up bridal style, causing him to wince in pain, and carried him upstairs to the bathroom, sitting him on top of the counter.

“Wait here.”

I ran downstairs, put some ice in a zip-lock bag and grabbed the First-Aid kit before I dashed back upstairs.
I placed the bag and the kit onto the counter and stood in front of him.

“Tyler, I’m going to need you to take off your shirt and your pants.”
His eyes went wide as he quickly shook his head.

“Please. I have to see if you’re hurt anywhere else. I promise I won’t hurt you.”

He hesitated, but did what I told him to with tears falling from his eyes.

There were more bruises, but now hickeys and scratch marks could be added to the list.
It all started to add up.

“Tyler…were you…?”

More tears fell and I took that as a hint not to ask any further.

I placed the bag of ice over his bruised eye and told him to hold it there as I worked on his body, adding disinfectants and bandages to where they were needed and applying Neosporin onto the cut on his lip.

“I thought you were mad at me…”

I sighed and added the last bandage to a cut on his hip.

“I thought I was too…but no one lays a fucking hand on you. No matter how mad I am at you.”
“Yet you were mad enough to hit me…”

I didn’t respond as I put everything back into the First-Aid kit and leant against the door.
Nothing was said.

“I’m sorry…”
He broke the silence.

“For what?”
“For everything…I’m sorry for sleeping with Austin…I’m sorry for not telling you the truth…I’m sorry for being such a fuckin’ idiot…”

I stood in front of him again, placing a hand on his cheek.

“Your hands are still shaking…”

He placed his hand over mine, and it finally stopped shaking.
I brushed my thumb over his cheek as I tried to choke back tears.

They were already falling.

“I want to tell you everything, Michael…I want you to listen without interrupting or blowing up…then, I want us to start over…I want us to leave everything that happened in the past…and…”

He bit down on his lip and looked away from me.

“I will listen to what you have to say, Tyler. I will do all of those things, but you have to promise me one thing.”
He looked back at me.

“What…?”

I leant in and pressed my lips against his.

“Promise me that we’ll be together this time…”

For the first time tonight, he smiled.

“I promise.”