Daydreamer

It’s been a long night…

I opened the window curtains in the kitchen and turned the coffee pot on. I grabbed some Advil from the cabinet, knowing everyone’s going to wake up with a hangover.

My hands started to tremble before I could place the bottle on the counter, and eventually I dropped it.

“Mother fuckin’ ‘rettes…!”

I waited for my hands to stop before I bent down to pick the pills up.
When I stood back up, Tyler was standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Morning…” I greeted him with a small smile.
He didn’t return it. He just stared at my hands, which were slightly trembling again.

I placed the pills onto the counter and walked up to him, placing a shaky hand onto his messy hair.
He closed his eyes.

He’s “daydreaming” again.

I hate when he gets like this.
He doesn’t daydream. He zones out completely.

“Tyler…Tell me…”
I moved my hand down and rested it on his cheek.

“What’s going on? What’s making you like this? You’re getting worse.”

His eyes were still closed, but a tear managed to escape and roll down.

He could hear me.

“Open your eyes. Come back.”
He did so.

Another tear rolled down his cheek as he moved away from my hand.

“You can’t keep putting this off, Tyler. What if you zone out in a situation that could become dangerous?”

He always does this when something is deeply troubling him. He can’t stand not having control over his life.

That’s it.
Something happened that he couldn’t control, and now he’s trying to “escape” it.

“What happened?”
“Nothing...”

“For the love of God, stop lying to me, Tyler.”
“I’m not…”

I grit my teeth together.

“Then why do you keep zoning out?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Stop being so fuckin’ difficult!”

My hands started trembling again, only increasing my anger.

“Keep it down in there…! I’m trying to sleep…!”
Ty’s voice almost sent me over the edge.

I took a couple of deep breaths and calmed myself down.
Tyler stared at me like a scared puppy.

I shook my head.

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m just so fuckin’ worried about you, Tyler…”

My hands were still shaking.
He reached out and gently grabbed a hold of them.

They stopped shaking completely.

“Don’t get mad…please…”
He came closer until our chests were barely touching.

Tired, blue eyes.

He’s at his weak point now.

I gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead and moved away from him.

We can’t be more than best friends. Neither of us are stable enough.

He knows that, yet…

Only when he’s so vulnerable.

/ / /

It’s six in the afternoon. Everyone left.
Everyone, except Tyler.

He was lying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling for about an hour now.

I lifted his legs up so I could sit down and rested them on my lap.

“Are you ready to talk to me now?”
He shook his head.

“Why are you being so difficult on this? Why can’t you tell me?”
“I just can’t…I…I just…”

He sat up and moved his legs, scooting closer to me.

“I…just need you to be there for me…okay…?”
Our faces were only an inch apart. His warm breath ghosted against my lips.

“How could I be there for you when I don’t even—?”

And that’s when he moved in closer and crashed our lips together.
With trembling hands, I gently pushed him away before things got too heated.

“Tyler…you know it’s for the best that we don’t do this…Not now…”

He moved away and pulled his knees to his chest.

“I know…I know…”

It went back to silence.
He zoned out again, and I barely watched the movie that was playing on the TV.

What’s bothering him? What’s causing him to withdraw from reality?

Whatever it is, I have a feeling that I need to find out ASAP before something bad happens.