Cerberi

Four Days Later

I was bewildered. I had so many questions that no one seemed to be willing to answer. Everyone was going along with The Council's new restrictions. We responded to threats when they arose, but other than that, we simply milled uselessly around camp. None of us left to go into town and only a sparse few bothered to openly question the order. Even they were singing a different tune, though, after a short chat with one of our commanding officers.

The tension in camp was palpable, but dwindling. Things were slowly settling down as my fellow Cerberi simply rolled over and bared their submissive bellies to The Council. I wasn't so willing to bend under the pressure.

As night began to fall around me, I went in search of Heath. I had spoken to him several times in the last few days, but each time he managed to carefully skirt the topic that I really wanted to discuss. I didn't like his evasiveness as it only added to the confusion I was wallowing in.

I saw his blonde head up ahead. He was by his building and surrounded by a few other men, including James. After a moment of hesitation, I walked up to the group and situated myself between the two familiar males. The conversation immediately stopped and all eyes fell on me. I awkwardly pulled on the edge of my sweater and gave a small smile.

Before I had the chance to speak, someone let out a low whistle and I glanced up in time to see the man in question nudge Heath and then shoo the rest of the group away. James remained at my side with a smirk plastered on his lips. He draped a heavy arm around my shoulders and I lifted my eyes to the smooth ebony skin of his face.

"Here's our little spitfire now. Heath was just talking about you," he gave me a cheeky grin as his eyes passed over my head to focus on Heath. "You know, Cas, he's actually not too bad looking. He--"

"I get what you're hinting at James, but I'm way out of his league."

A hearty laugh erupted from James's lips as he released me, waving a hand at us before he disappeared into the building.

I turned to face Heath, whose muscular arms were folded across his torso. His face was contorted into a playful look, one that I didn't see often from him, or any other Cerberi for that matter.

"I would beg to differ. You'd be more than lucky to have me as arm candy," he said defensively, tilting up his chin. "I'm more than a pretty face, though, Cassie. And please, stop staring at my body. My eyes are up here."

I attempted to fight the grin that pulled at my lips, but it eventually cracked across my mouth. I'd known Heath for a short while, and he had saved my ass on many occasions in that time. He was a big, tough guy, one who I had initially thought to be rough and cold. However, over the past few days, he had surprised me by demonstrating an agreeable, humorous personality.

He could be a persistent son of a bitch, too. He had insisted on a nightly basis that he tend to my wounds and replace their bandaging. The bruising was completely gone and my gashes were sealing themselves nicely. I was used to healing quickly, but even this was faster than I was used to. Heath never mentioned it, though. He never asked questions. It was like he already knew the answers.

I wanted to breach the topic of The Council. I wanted to ask him why they had wanted me killed. I wanted him to tell me why all of this was happening, but the warm smile on his lips seemed to keep my questions at bay. We had so little time to be happy that I didn't want to fritter it away by asking stupid questions.

"Ha ha, you're hilarious," I chuckled, shaking my head. The moment the last word left my lips, I heard the rhythmic trumpeting that signaled curfew. Since The Council's new order, our free time had been cut short and we were to be in our apartments an hour earlier.

The thought of going back to my apartment always brought a squeeze of panic to my chest. I couldn't go back. I was angry: angry at my roommates but even angrier that they made me so afraid. It was like they had some infuriating invisible power over me. I had spent the last four nights in the infirmary, slipping back into my apartment in the early hours to shower and change before all call.

I glanced up at Heath, offering him a smile, "Goodnight." He returned the farewell and I stepped past him, quietly meandering toward the infirmary. I didn't realize he was following me.

Before I could open the heavy door, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

"I knew you were spending your nights here," Heath said softly behind me. I slowly retracted my hand from the door handle, startled. I was ashamed of my own fear and the fact that someone else now knew that I was scared. Cerberi weren't trained to be afraid. We were trained to be warriors.

"I don't feel safe in my apartment," I snapped, immediately taking the defensive before Heath even had the chance to attack me. All playfulness from our previous conversation had rapidly dissipated. The hand of my shoulder squeezed gently.

"I'm not judging you, Cassie."

Embarrassed by my cowardice and his kindness, I tried to shrug off his hand and reach for the door simultaneously, but he pulled me back. I teetered back against his solid chest, his muscular body surprising me with its warm pliancy.

The shame rippled through me like a searing knife. Fear was weakness, and as a Cerberi, weakness was forbidden. If I couldn't face my roommates, how could I face the monsters outside our walls? How could I do my job and protect the city? What Anne and Danielle had done to me cut me to the bone and left me feeling raw and exposed. What they did was wrong, but I couldn't live in fear. I'd never last that way.

Heath snaked his arms around me and held me tightly against him, the embrace feeling strangely intimate. I scrunched my brow and tried to lean away, but he just squeezed me more.

"It's okay to be afraid," he said gently. "I have three free rooms in my apartment. You'll be safe there."

The offer was tempting, and I felt protected when I was with Heath, but I had to stand on my own two feet.

"No, I'll just go back to my room," I responded, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. He finally released me, but I felt his presence behind me as I turned and headed toward my building. I reached for the door handle, my fingers twitching involuntarily. I felt the fear swirling into my veins like an undeniable fog as it paralyzed me.

I had every right to be angry and upset, but I couldn't harness those two emotions to work for me. They sat limply in the back of my mind, useless. I should have stormed into my apartment and slept in my bed, and anyone who dared to mess with me would have been in for a world of hurt. Instead, I was trembling outside, unable to get my body to stop betraying me.

Taking my outstretched hand, Heath tugged me toward his building and quickly ushered me inside as one of our commanding officers rounded the corner to check for any stragglers. I followed him lamely to his apartment.

Inside, James poked his head out from the bathroom, a tooth brush dangling from his lips. He and Heath exchanged a silent look before he disappeared to finish brushing his teeth.

The blonde man led me down the hallway and stepped into a small room, gesturing for me to enter as well.

It was a mirror image of mine. A small bed sat against one wall and a dresser lay opposite.

"You'll be safe here, Cassie, I promise."

His words held a weight I would only begin to understand in the following weeks.

I nodded and he closed the door softly behind him as he left. I pulled off my boots and tugged off my cargo pants before climbing under the thick blankets on the bed.

Sleep floated around me and eluded me for a long while, dancing around the corners of my mind and teasing me with wistful dreams before it swallowed me whole.