Leave Yourself Behind

Winter is coming ; I can feel it. The air grows harsher with every coming day leaving me to prepare myself. I would have him dead by winter, or during. It depended on everything. Should he discover that I was Sansa’s sister and keep my either prisoner or execute me, a ruin could be placed in my plan. They were right about him. He is a lust filled beast.

Seeing how he’s treated me makes me wonder how he’s treated my sister. He and I are alike in more ones than one. We’re both bastard children. Though he has no idea that he is.It just proves to me more that he truly is an idiot. I wonder if he’ll beg for his life when I’ve gotten him to the ground. I wonder if he’ll keep his pride and take his death like a man or beg for it like a petty child.

I hope he begs. It would be boring should he lay there and not let my have the satisfaction. Of course that’s another reason Joffrey and I are alike. We both enjoy seeing each other suffer. I wasn’t normally like Joffrey. Though my revenge driven attitude is proving us to be more alike than I wanted.

I could never go on pretending that I was better than him when he and I are proving to be more alike then I think. Although I don’t torture and kill people (At least not yet) we’re still alike. Sometimes it scares me. Other times it can come in handy.

“Where have you been?” He appears in the doorway, leaning against it. I notice that Hearteater isn’t at his hip as it was earlier today.
“Here. I’m not an avid fan of parties.” I respond turning away from him.
“Why? I would think with all of this trouble going around you’d admire a new time to sit back.” I hear his footsteps as he moves forward. The bed creaks under him as he sits looking at me with his bright blue eyes.
“My mind is never at rest. Neither should yours be, your grace.” I turn to him again.
“Are you telling me what to do? That’s a first. I’ve never been bossed around by a petty orphan before.” He stands knocking me to my feet in pure surprise.
“You will began behaving. Right now you can’t be more than 17 years of age which is a right age to be betrothed. If we want to find someone acceptable to you you’ll have to shape up. Another thing. Should I find out you are guilty of treason I’ll have your head. I don’t trust Elyria. You aren’t showing up in any family history.” He says.

I look at him. I didn’t think he would be so nosey in my family history. If he was, he wasn’t doing a very good job. He should have asked Sansa if she had any other sisters back when Sansa was head over heels in love with him. She would have told him all about me I can bet on it.

Did she already? Was he playing games with me just to have the upper hand? I didn’t expect to be so outsmarted, but then again I’m dealing with the King who has many other people in his castle to protect him. His castle filled with idiots I pressume. The only one who’s proved remotely smart is his own mother. I wonder which side he cared his stupidity from. I keep a chuckle in as he moves closer, raising his eyebrows at me.

“What the hell are you laughing about ?” He asks shoving me to my feet.
“You. You’re funny.” I respond.

His eyes harden. It hits me then. He himself is a one sided character. Back when Sansa was with us and my father was still alive he used to tell us stories about people. When I began to write them he told me the worst thing I could do was to make a onesided character. Someone who’s mean and ruthless without a single cause.

I didn’t like writing about people with such tragic backstories. Perhaps Joffrey himself had a tragic backstory. I couldn’t bring myself to believe so. He’s just a vicious idiot from the start. A tragedy would only happen should he care about someone. Joffrey caring about someone is almost as unbelievable as the chain of events that have led me here.

“You cunt! What you did can be punishable by death. Don’t do again. I don’t tolerate being made fun off.” He snarls, dropping me to my feet once again.
“No one asked you to come and visit me in the middle of the night Your Grace. It was your choice. Speaking of which, what are you doing here?” I ask him sitting on the bed.
“You were speaking to Jon Snow. I was wondering what relationship you had with him.” He asks.
“That shouldn’t matter. Infact, it doesn’t. You shouldn’t be worried about my simple relations.” I tell him.
“Who is he?” He asks again.
“Jon and I knew each other before I came here. He and I worked together before anyone else would ever go near me. He proved to be that fighters keep fighting. Giving up because things get hard should never be an option. And, there is no going or looking back.”

Joffrey looks at me for a long while. For a moment I forgot how much I hated him. Then it returned. I hated him so much for what he’s done to my family. He was a moronic bastard who should be killed in my hands. He is unfit to be a ruler. The people of King’s Landing are starving, begging for food while he goes about in his own life.

He leaves me in silence without another word. Once he’s shut the door I move to the window. Pushing it open I allow myself to clamber out into the night air. Wind wisps past me sending goosebumps up and down my legs. My dress moves out behind me as does my hair. I forgot that wind was picking up more and more in the summer time. My feet touch the cold tile of the castle sending another shiver down my spine.

I crouch down looking out among the field. I can’t see any of his guards near his bedroom window. The only guards I see are planting in the enterance and half asleep. Two guards aren’t going to stop a riot from attacking. A whole other army approaching would take more than an hour and Joffrey could be as good as dead by then. Not that I cared at all.

I close my eyes for a moment thinking about my situation. Standing on the ledge of a tall castle. My only two options going back inside to suffer the tyrant known as Joffrey, or take a possible death worthy jump. If I died, I wouldn’t be able to defeat Joffrey. I would fail my family and Sansa would be forced forever into the sadistic hands of Joffrey.

I breath in the cold air a final time before looking over. It’s now or never.