Hopeless Romantic

He let me be at the execution, only because of a whim he had. I saw Declan first, mouth agape, and I felt terrible for him. Then I scanned the crowd for her fervently. But then I saw her, like an angel fallen into the dust. Her eyes were red-rimmed with past crying, but no tears were on her face now. She stood proud, as they walked her up onto the gallows. Even now she was beautiful. Nothing could take that away. I gazed at her, heart breaking more every second. I was well restrained by several guards, otherwise I would have leapt up there in an instant. Then she saw me in the crowd that had formed. Her eyes were twin oceans of despair. It seemed she had given up at this point. But I could never live with myself if I was to give up on such a big part of my life. Without her, there is no life. I wished I'd found that out sooner. Her mouth formed the words, I love you. My lips did the same, almost numb. I would rather suffer hellfire than be devoid of every emotion I'd ever known. It was hell to be numb to life, and so I knew then that I had to do something. Then it hit me. I decided to try more than I've ever tried for anything, because this was more important than anything I'd ever done in my silly little life. I had burned my candle at both ends, and it would not last much longer. But I refused to go out without a bang. I cleared my throat. The time was now. I had to get everyone along with me for this. I just hoped it would be enough. I composed myself, and started to sing...
This love you can't take away from me
The crowd turned as one unit and stared at me, as I felt the heat rising in my face. I saw her eyes rise from the ground and fix themselves on mine, and I had to stifle the urge to weep .
And this song is for you
All of these things in the world, they hold no real fear
That I'll be with you, you can be sure
So say this to that world
Hold on, I'll always be here for you
I'll be with you until the end of time
All eyes then shifted to the gallows as she joined in, singing from the depths of her soul. Her eyes closed with the power of the music, threatening to shake her apart. She knew as well as I that this was the last shred of hope we possessed. The very last.
I'll never forget
Until my dying day
I'll be with you and say
I love you, mi amore
I always will
If this war is never-ending
Our voices had risen, cutting through the morning mist like a lightning bolt permeating the endless night. I gazed in her eyes, sending a promise to her through my red-rimmed eyes. Her face seemed to go paler, but I kept on singing. I have never broken a promise in my life.
I'll take this love with me
I have to be with you right here, my dear
I love you, mi amore
If you could make it so
This will blossom, it will grow
True love is never-ending
Most of the people in the crowd were starting to weep by then, or at least intently focused. And then a strange thing happened. They started to sing the melody as if they'd known it all their lives. Many people who left that day would say they had been bewitched; that they hadn't known what had come over them. There was a much simpler answer, however. They knew it because it was the song of the heart, all you'd need to do was listen to it and the rest would come. The voices of these people, most of them strangers, rose in the night, seeming to touch the sky.
This is all I'd ever know
This is what I'll always show
Until my dying day
Until my dying day
Mi Amore
We trailed off, the memory of the song hanging in the air like smoke, and then there was silence. The tension electrified the air. One clap, two, then the whole crowd was applauding us. Whistles and shouts punctuated the claps, as well as cries. They applauded these brave two lovers. Two standing up together against hate, against persecution, against fate. The crowd were all in tears. We had definitely made a show. Would it be enough? I did not know. Our eyes never left each other, sounding their own triumphs of love in our gaze. In that moment, I knew that we belonged to each other, body, heart, and soul. In that moment, I was whole. When all I heard was the clapping of the crowd and the beating of my heart. Then it went absolutely silent. And my father broke the silence, with the same face he had made since my mother died. And that was the bad thing about moments. They always must end.
"She..." It seems he was lost in thought, though I already knew what his answer would be. The crowd was waiting, attentive to every last detail, hungering for more. It seemed he sighed, almost imperceptibly, though I couldn't be sure. "She must die." he whispered, barely audible, eyes downcast. Everyone in the crowd gasped with horror and shouted at him to renege, but their cries fell on deaf ears. My father slowly walked to the front of the crowd, gazing over all of them with what looked like pity. "We may not allow spies or otherwise traitorous individuals to succeed in ruining this land. If the law is lenient on this occasion, who's to say there won't be others? The fact is, this child was found on castle grounds, not during the day like a respectable citizen, but sneaking about in the dark like a vagabond." Even the executioner had tears in his eyes, and seemed loathe to do it. But even as he pulled the lever, I knew she loved me completely...until her dying day.
I gazed at her until I could no longer bear the agony. I looked deep into my heart, and saw a well of misery, the same that consumed my father, waiting to consume me. But I had already made up my mind, hadn't I? All that had held me to this world was gone, extinguished with three small words. All we had planned, gone. All we had hoped, gone. All we ever were or would be, gone with three small words. All the flowers I would never pick for her, all the words, all the love. I thought of all the possibilities, all the things we would never get to do. Madness? I was already teetering on the edge of it. It welcomed me with the guise of friendship. Three small words. The number no longer seemed magical. Rather, it seemed a shame against mankind, an atrocity. And now that I had lost everything, an eerie semblance of calm came over me. It was not calm, merely a cloying numbness over my heart. I looked at my father, forcing his eyes to me. The gray depths were filled with emotion, the first and only emotion that he had shown since the death of my mother. They looked upon me in what seemed like such sadness, but not for her, or for me, or really for my mother. It was sadness for himself. For all he had lost. For all he had never had.
But I had made up my mind, hadn't I? This story only had one ending. The crowd gasped as one unit, one mass, and some had to stifle a scream as I pulled out my jewel-encrusted dagger and put it against my breast. It was a present bought to defend myself from attackers. Fancy that. I never took my eyes off him, not once. My eyes had not yet filled with tears, and would never do so. Not ever again. So with dry eyes I regarded him. With a closed heart I regarded him, my father. How funny the word. He was not that to me, never had been. So I looked deep into his eyes as I said my last words, that deadly calm engulfing me. It seems I could see my own place in eternity, with her beside me forever. Distance didn't matter then, and it didn't matter now. She was farther away then ever, but not for long.
"True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. And know this now and forever. You've lost more than you could have ever imagined...father." I spat the last word as a curse as I forced my hand to descend to my heart.
A brief pain, not as immense by far as that which I had suffered only moments earlier, tore through me. And I had time for one more thought in this impossible world. And a smile played on my lips at that very thought.
He has not stopped us yet. I am coming, my love.