Craving Cameron

"Aimer quelqu'un que vous ne pouvez pas avoir" French for "Loving someone you can't have"

Pretty much a summary of what my life has become.

I should probably start with background history right?

I'm Ervin Buljubasic. I moved to Minnesota when I was ten. That was when I met Cameron at school. We weren't friends, we were so different, but I never had a problem with him. Our paths never really crossed. Fast forward eight years an our paths cross again. I joined his 'friendship group', consisting of him, me, Austin, Drew, Alec, Elisa, Elisabeth, Alex, Margaret and Kaitlin. We never really talked until this fall when I decided to wear my band merch to school and he came over and started talking to me about bands.

That was where our friendship blossomed. The next thing I know we're hanging out every second we can and when we're not then we're texting. We talk about movies, music, taco-bell, Tv shows.

I guess we aren't just joined at the hip as I've described. Firstly within our group of friends there aren't just me and Cam who are best friends because there's Alec too. Honestly, I do love Alec but sometimes I just want more alone time with Cameron than we get.

Oh and there's also his girlfriend. Elisa fucking Thorson. She's an amazing girl, truly, it's just that I feel like she has a lot of Cam's time and I want that time for my own.

I can't bring myself to hang out with Alec when Cam's not there so I'm mostly with Alex. I guess he's my tension relief. I turn to him when I'm missing Cameron and he brings up my spirits and we just do dumb shit. And missing Cameron happens a lot. Every moment he's not with me, I feel an ache in my heart.

He is my rock.

He is my best friend.

He is my every waking thought.

He is the love of my life and I could never have him.

"Aimer quelqu'un que vous ne pouvez pas avoir" French for "Loving someone you can't have"

Pretty much a summary of what my life has become.