He Only Says He Loves Me When He's Drinking

Eli stared up at this ceiling, his back and head sinking into his bed. His eyes traced the ditches and bumps of the white canvas that decorated the top of his roof. His hand idly played with a small rubber ball, tossing it from hand to hand. His radio dripped the lyrics of Sad Songs, by The Maine, around his room as the tune danced around his head.

His stomach was contently full from all the pizza he had previously consumed; the light of the day was just disappearing, and his radio high. This is how he loved to spend his afternoons. His body was content and warm as his eyes shut softly, breathing in deeply. It was so nice; he could feel himself drifting off to sleep. He would have too, if his door didn’t suddenly slam open.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Jacob Adams is in the building!” Jacob boomed as Eli winced at the volume of his friend. “And the crowd goes wild!” Jacob screamed, impersonating the roar of an imaginary crowd. Despite himself, Eli felt a grin slide on to his face as he lazily rolled onto his bloated stomach, propping his head up with his hands.

“Look what the cat dragged in.” Eli teased, glancing at his friend. His hair was wild and messy and in his hands, he held a box of doughnuts, which were already half eaten. Eli rolled his eyes, scooting until he sat up on his knees.

“Listen man, I have to apologize about earlier. That wasn’t cool to ditch my friends like that.” Jacob began explaining, sliding off his coat and tossing it onto Eli’s desk. “It’s just that Kennedy is so close to letting us go- ya know- all the way.” Jacob grinned as Eli sighed. He knew this was his friends goal, his friend’s first time. He should be happy and rooting him on, but he wasn’t. He wanted his friend to do it with someone special who cares about him, not Kennedy. C’mon, anyone but Kennedy.

“It’s fine, really… just don’t make this a habit.” Eli shrugged, ignoring his gut, waving his hand around his head as if swatting the nuisance away. He wasn’t going to be the enemy in his friend’s plans. This was his job, he was supposed to support him, and he might as well act like it, even if that’s all it was…an act.

“But here I am! My entire night dedicated to my one and only best friend, Elijah Jones.” Jacob grinned widely. Most would think that this grin was goofy, but it wasn’t. Not on Jacob anyway. His elegant green eyes evened everything out nicely. “Now, let’s crack open these doughnuts and finish it off with some good old fashion poison.” Jacob smirked, nodding towards Elijah’s closet.

Eli knew what he meant right away. The first time they tried any alcohol was back in middle school, where they snuck a sip of Jacob’s father’s scotch. It was disgusting and they believed that even poison couldn’t be that bad. From there on out, that’s what they called it, because to them, poison was even better.

He nodded, climbing out of bed and heading towards his closet. He reached in the back and pulled out a carton of fruit punch. That’s all you’d assume it was until you actually took a sip. Then you’d be greeted with a special combination of three-fourths juice and one-fourth vodka. It was disgusting, but it did the job.

Just like that, everything seemed back to normal. They settled into their familiar spots on the bed, shoving their faces full of sugary frosted doughnuts and drowning the fatty foods in the burning liquids that lingered in the back of their throats.

Within the first hour of this blissful familiarity, the boys could feel themselves drifting into the temporary serenity that is being intoxicated. Eli rolled his neck as he listened to his friend babble on. Music danced around Eli’s room still, and took the annoyance out of Eli, despite the conversation topic.

“Girls are amazing, man. Her skin is so soft, and I swear every part of her is just as tan as her legs. I mean, every part of her.” Jacob cooed, getting his puppy-dog look, as Eli took another sip as if to bury the oncoming irritation underneath the bright red drink. “God, and her fingers, her mouth, she’s an angel. There’s not even a gag reflex. Can you believe that? There’s not even a hint, it’s literally the best. God, girls are amazing, you’re missing out, man.” Jacob repeated

“You understand a guy can be fully tanned too, right? Guys are capable of not having gag reflexes. I know for a fact that I don’t have one.” Eli announced, proudly crossing his arms in front of him with a smug glance. Eli wasn’t one to brag about his… abilities, but the alcohol was speaking for him.

This caused something to lurch in Jacob’s stomach as he changed positions awkwardly, shaking his head, wanting to prove his point. “But, man, the was she touches me, and my neck. Did you know how sensitive necks are?” Jacob stated in awe, leaning back on his bed with a satisfied grin.

Eli furrowed his brows with a frown. “I know, my last boyfriend said I was amazing at it.” Eli paused. He crawled forward, attempting to prove his point. “See, it’s all about the rhythm.” He announced as he ran one finger down the side of Jacob’s neck, circling the spot where Jacob’s girlfriend had nibbled on just hours before. It was still red, but Eli tenderly placed his finger over it. This was rewarded with a small shiver down Jacob’s spine. A devilish smile broke out onto Eli’s dimpled face, as he refused to back down.

Jacob cleared his throat, and his head told him to move out of the way, but the chill down his back and the cloudy, tired feeling of alcohol kept him in place. “Uh, yeah she did that, but uh-.” He stuttered, not being able to form an intelligible sentence. This was so strange, and his stomach twisted.

“Yeah, I can tell, but this is what I do.” Elijah began, sitting closer towards his best friend, letting his finger dabble where Eli usually put his tongue on his boys. His breath gave soft, warm touches in comparison to his cold finger.

They kept blaming the alcohol for not being able to move, but neither of them could deny the way their heart skipped at the closeness. They had been close thousands of times before, but this was different and much more intimate. Elijah was used to boys being in this close proximity but Jacob wasn’t, and just like that he broke out of his alcoholic trance.

Standing up suddenly, Jacob plopped on the other side of the bed, with a small friendly smile, as he replayed the scene with his girlfriend from earlier over and over in his head. The sudden jolt caused Eli to fall forward as he huffed, pulling himself back up. He sat on his feet and stared at his friend.

“What are you thinking?” Eli asked, his head cocked, his own dark eyes curious and his floppy hair falling towards one side. His friend let out a small chuckle, shaking his head.

“I’m thinking I need another dose of poison.” Jacob teased, as Eli laughed, clearing up the awkward air. Jacob took a long swig of their concoction and let it sink into their stomachs.

Everything went back to normal, at least for a little. They stayed peacefully intoxicated, hidden away in Eli’s room. His mom was out late with her newest squeeze; she always was, so the boys were safe in their drunken state.

They played their games, talked their talked, listened to their music, and watched their movies. The credits to The Hangover rolled onto the screen, as Eli yawned, glancing at Jacob, who stared back equally tired. Eli’s bedside alarm clock flashed 1:21 in large blue letters on his nightstand.

Eli stretched, letting his body fall across Jacob’s lap as he grabbed the remote and turned off the television. “I believe it’s time to sleep.” Eli shrugged, lazily, as he rolled back into his spot. His jeans rubbed uncomfortably against his body, but he didn’t take them off, because he knew that would cross boundaries in his tiny full sized bed next to Jacob.

Jacob smiled serenely, and snuggled into the bed. Usually, they slept in separate beds, but the guest room seemed awfully far away, and Jacob wasn’t moving and Eli wasn’t giving up his bed.

In the quiet room, with the stars shining outside, and the big blue letters flipping lazily as if time was slowed, they allowed themselves to drift off to bed. The silence was only broken for a moment by Jacob’s husky voice, drenched with the need for sleep. “I love you, Eli.” He yawned, alcohol and exhaustion clouding his mind, lulling them off towards the tired sleep that claimed them both.