Fix You

"K-Kris," I said, still unsure of how I was able to speak.

I stared at him for a minute. He looked so good. So fucking good. He had his post-shower smell of Old Spice and hockey tape and his hair was still wet. He was wearing a Blackhawks t-shirt that hugged his muscles so damn well. The muscles I used to hug and touch and kiss every fucking day for over a year.

"Ella," Kris murmured, studying me too. My body was just in utter shock and I couldn't even move. I looked so shitty and sweaty in front of him too.

His lips turned up into that cute little smile of his, putting his hockey bag down before enveloping me in a hug. "Ella, I haven't... it's so good to see you again," he murmured.

"You too, Kris," I whispered against his skin. I could feel his muscles, and they were still rock hard, just like they had been three or so years ago.

"Why are you here?" I asked, getting sort of flustered as I pulled away.

"Wait a second, you didn't hear?" Kris asked.

"No, nobody's fucking told me anything, just that there was a surprise, and I had to get Kaner a Gatorade, and – " I sighed, thinking of the two Patricks who wouldn't say anything to me.

"Florida traded me back," Kris broke into a grin, laughing at me a little bit. "I'm a Blackhawk again."

Here comes wave of shock number two. I just stood there for a second, my mouth hanging open, trying to say something to him.

"Isn't it great?" Kris asked, hugging me again. "I can't wait to catch up."

"Y-Yeah," I said quickly as he pulled away again, nodding in agreement. "Definitely."

"I actually didn't think you'd still be here," he told me, somewhat seriously.

What a joke. After the huge fight we went through so I could stay in Chicago, and he thought I'd just pick up and leave for no reason sometime in the next three years? This place was my home, where I belonged.

I just sighed at him, shrugging my shoulders. "Well, here I am," I said quietly.

He stared at me for a minute. "I'll call you," he smiled. "I got a new phone. Is your number still the same?"

"Um, yeah it is," I told him, still trying to get over the whole shock of seeing him here today.

"Alright, great," he smiled. "I'll call you tonight or tomorrow."

I stared at him for a minute before I just blurted it out. "I missed you, Kris."

He smiled a little at me. "I missed you too, Ella," he murmured, hugging me one last time.

I sighed, holding on as long as I could. I couldn't believe this boy was here, complicating my life all that much more.

Oh, dear God, was my first thought when he walked away. Kris Versteeg is back.

I was still in shock... and very, very confused.

"Surprise!"

I nearly jumped as Patrick Sharp came out of the locker room. I stared at him for a minute. "What the fuck," I finally asked him.

"Wasn't that a great surprise or what?" Patrick asked me, pulling me back into the locker room. Duncan and Brent were still in the corner, looking like they were expecting the worst.

"What kind of surprise is that?" I asked Patrick. I was sort of irritated at the fact that the guys, who all seemed to be behind this thing, all let me skate around and sweat and be all gross when they knew I would accidentally "bump into" a freshly-showered Kris Versteeg in the hallway.

"It was a good surprise, right?" Patrick Kane asked me from the bench in front of his cubby area. Jonathan Toews was sitting next to him, rolling his eyes and shaking his head slightly.

"Well I mean... I don't know," I said quietly, running a hand through my hair. "I guess it was. Maybe."

"Now you guys can catch up and date again and maybe he won't screw it up by getting traded this time!" Sharp grinned.

Duncan shot him a look.

"What?" Sharp asked him.

I sighed. "Yeah, sure. Whatever." I stood back up again, pulling down my sweater and glancing around. "Well, I should be heading home. My cat needs to be fed." I smiled a little at all the guys. "See you boys later."

The guys all mumbled a goodbye, and I waved half-heartedly before exiting the locker room, walking out through a side door and heading out into the blistering Chicago cold.

I was heading up towards the CTA station before someone pulled up next to me. "Need a ride?" Kris Versteeg asked as he rolled his passenger seat window down.

"I'm taking the train." I pointed in the direction of the train station, across the way from Malcolm X College. It was a seven minute walk from where I stood.

"I thought someone mentioned you came in a car?" Kris asked. "Get in."

I sighed, staring at the door for a minute, hugging myself from the harsh Chicago wind. Eventually my coldness won over and I opened the passenger's side door, getting into his car.

"I sold it a few weeks ago," I said quietly as Kris drove off. "Was getting too expensive. I figured I could just take the train everywhere... which I can, obviously."

"I didn't know that," Kris said quietly.

"You don't know anything, you've only known about how I'm still hanging around these boys for about twenty minutes," I sighed.

He smiled a little. "It's actually been a little bit longer than that," he said.

I stared at him. "Wait.... you knew I'd meet you here? The surprise was one-sided?"

He started laughing. "Uh... yeah, I guess it was. I didn't know when I'd see you, though – "

"Those motherfuckers," I muttered under my breath.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Fuckin' assholes made me shoot against Crow after practice so I'd get all sweaty and gross right before meeting you," I sighed, before turning pink once I realized how that must've sounded.

"If it's any consolation I think you look great," he smiled at me.

I smiled a little, too, shaking my head and staring out the window.

"They had your best interests at heart," Kris added.

"They're all idiots, but I love them."

We were silent for a minute before Kris ran a hand through his hair. "So, you sold your car, and you didn't tell the guys?"

"Yes," I said quickly, "but it's because I didn't want them taking pity on me. I get exercise walking everywhere and that's fine. They don't need to think I'm some fucking charity or something because really, I'm just doing fine – "

Kris sighed. "Ella – "

"Don't you 'Ella' me, Kris Versteeg," I said, crossing my arms and staring out the dashboard window, before we both glanced over at each other and started laughing.

"I missed hearing you say that to me," he chuckled. "I – yeah, I just... missed you."

I smiled a little, glancing down and running a hand through my hair. "I missed you too," I told him.

We spent the drive down to my place in silence. I stared out the window, watching the passing cars and buildings and people. After around fifteen minutes, he pulled up to my apartment and turned off the car, turning to me.

"I don't want this to be awkward," he told me.

"Is it awkward?" I asked him.

"I don't know," he said. "Is it?"

"I don't know," I said quietly. "But we still do need to talk. About everything."

"I know," Kris said. "We do."

I nodded, getting out of the car then and walking over to his drivers' side window.

"If it's any consolation for all the shit I've done, I really regret all of it."

"I regret it too," I said quietly, glancing down at the ground.

"Alright, well, I'll call you soon," Kris said after a few seconds of silence.

"Okay," I said quietly, smiling at him a little, stepping away from his window. "I'll see you, Kris."

"Bye, Ella."

I smiled, waving to him as I backed away before turning and heading in the door to my apartment complex.

I was greeted by Donna, the doorwoman, basically, of our building. She was a really sweet older lady who was friendly to everyone. "Hello, Ella," she smiled at me. "Who was that in the nice car?"

I smiled a little. "Oh, that was Kris. My... friend." My first attempt of putting a label on Mr. Versteeg since I've known he was back. What were we? Did I call him my ex? We sure as hell didn't act like we were exes. It was kind of weird.

"Well, he's cute," Donna winked at me. "You should keep him."

I laughed a little. "I will, Donna," I said, before heading past her and towards the elevator up to my apartment.