Tell Him.

She wanted him and only him.

That was the decision Hayley made that morning when she woke up to his arms wrapped around her and their legs tangled together in the sheets. She nuzzled against his bare chest, relishing the skin to skin contact and the warmth of his embrace. Inhaling the lingering scent of his cologne and running her fingers through his dark, messy hair, she looked up at the man still sleeping. How young he looked with his face completely relaxed and free of lines while his mouth was slightly open, his snoring soft but still audible. Sometimes he would even twitch in his sleep and she was amused by how adorable he still was when it happened.

She had always felt more at home with him, having fallen for his optimism and carefree nature over the years. Though his immaturity sometimes tried her patience, there was no doubt he was someone she wanted to tightly hold onto and keep in her life. One thing her mother had taught her in the aftermath of her parents’ divorce: when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it. As much as Hayley loved her father, he had failed to do so with his wife.

And that’s exactly what she did that morning. She had decided that no matter what, he was all she needed. Sure, she knew she could sometimes be a stubborn bitch and he could be a moronic asshole, but they just worked. They still made sense and she didn’t want him to go. Not now and not ever. Not when they’ve stuck together through all the messed up bullshit they’ve had to deal with. He was always there for her, welcoming her with open arms whenever she came to his flat. He was the one to be there for her whenever she felt upset or angry or even just wanted someone to talk to. He understood her more than anyone.

Even more than her own boyfriend.

Her decision was only the first step. She had realized she couldn’t keep doing this to herself and the two men she thought she could care for at the same time. But that was because she had been so blind at first. She strongly believed they could both be hers and that she could keep up with the lies. At first, she didn’t have the heart to break up with him, but in the end she realized that she didn’t deserve him and he wasn’t hers to keep. All it took for her to realize this was the events that had unfolded the night before.

Hayley’s mind was filled with images of last night until her thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of him stirring in his sleep. Her eyes darted back to him and she watched as his eyelids fluttered open. The arms that had been encircled around her had left for a brief moment so he could rub his eyes and wake himself up. After letting out a yawn and stretching his arms out in front of him, he was fully conscious.

Upon noticing she was already awake, he smiled down at her. “Good morning, love.”

That last word that escaped his lips caused her face to twist into a wide grin and her cheeks to turn pink. She leaned against him and began tracing small circles on his chest. “Good morning.”

He took her hand and laced his fingers with hers, but sensed something was off when she looked away from him and sighed. That’s when she let go of his hand and sat up on the side of the bed, the sheet still wrapped around her, though she was only covered below the waist. He shifted on the bed to get closer to her side and pressed his lips to her shoulder so he could give her light kisses. The smile was still on her face from this gesture, but she still didn’t bother to look him in the eyes.

“Are...are you okay?” he asked. “It looks like you’re thinking hard about something. What are you thinking about?”

Hayley finally looked over her shoulder at him and her smile faded. “Him.”

This made him frown as well. She was thinking of her boyfriend.

Obviously, this was not what he expected to hear nor was it something he wanted to hear. After all, this was the man who had swept her off her feet before he could. Unlike him, this boyfriend of hers was oblivious to Hayley’s feelings for another. Her boyfriend didn’t know that all those times she had said she would be visiting family or taking a break, she was actually off spending time with someone else.

He began to rub her back in a circular motion. “What about him?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” she replied, shaking her head. “I can’t be with both of you. I can’t keep hurting him when he doesn’t even know and I can’t keep only seeing you when he’s not around.”

It was usually easy for her to sneak away. They would be with each other most weekends, where she was so at peace and so happy. She would share things with him that nobody else knew and looked at him as if he was the only one on Earth with her. Sometimes he would feel broken and tell her his insecurities, but all she would do was cover him in kisses and pick up the pieces, reminding him that so many people cared about him. Especially her. That’s all that mattered to him.

“So what does this mean?” he said, biting his lip. “What are you going to do?”

She turned her body toward him and cupped his cheek, allowing him to nestle into her hand. “I’m ending the lies and this situation that I could’ve avoided from the start. I don’t know why I had kept this up for so long, but I’m done. It’s either you or him and I made a choice.”

They can’t be over. They just can’t.

He wanted to be the one. The only one. He wanted to be the only one to wake up to those vibrant green eyes. The only one to wrap his arms around her waist and taste the strawberry chapstick off her lips. The only one to brush her striking orange hair out of her face so he could take in the beauty of her delicate features. The only one to fall asleep to her breathtaking voice. She was the most amazing girl he had ever met and he wanted nothing more than to be the only one for her so they could spend the rest of their lives together.

But she wasn't his. At least, not completely.

He had met her first, way back in 2007 during the Vans Warped Tour. When he first walked out of his tour bus, he saw her from afar. She was talking with people from various bands and in the midst of her conversation, she had turned her head and looked in his direction, making eye contact with him. He was initially embarrassed that she had caught him staring, but all she did was smile and walk over to him.

”Hi, I saw you looking at me over there as if you wanted to talk,” she had said with a giggle. “How about I start? I’m Hayley.”

He chuckled and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Hayley.”

That was the beginning. He had no idea that the moment he shook her hand and introduced himself, that would be the start of one of the best summers he ever had. It started as just a summer fling; they didn’t want anything serious. They were both young, her having just gotten out of a relationship and him being a guy just happy to be on tour. As the weeks went by during those three months of being on the road, they had connected and were crazy for each other by the end. When they parted ways, they had exchanged numbers to keep in touch. They weren’t really together, but they wanted this—whatever this was—to last longer than just the summer.

Months later, she had met the guy who would soon become her boyfriend for six years. By that time, Hayley was warming up to the idea of commitment again and though he told her how happy he was for them, he hated himself for not going after her when he had the chance. She wasn’t stupid either. She knew how he really felt about her relationship and was sick of him faking a smile, so she met up with him.

“Seriously, what’s your problem?” she had asked, crossing her arms. “You’ve been acting weird ever since he asked me out.”

He scoffed and his eyes narrowed. “Really? You, of all people, don’t get why I can’t stand you two together? There’s only one reason why I’ve been acting weird and you know what it is.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You’re with him,” he finally said. “And not me.”

She stared up at him. “You...but I thought you weren’t looking for anything serious-”

“I know I said that before,” he cut in. “I didn’t realize it yet, but maybe I do want something serious. Maybe I see you and I as something more than just a hook up and maybe I really fucking like you.”

She put a hand on his shoulder and a finger to his lips to keep him from saying anything else. That’s when she leaned in closer. “Maybe I really fucking like you, too.”

Then she crashed her lips into his, wrapping her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss while he did nothing but kiss her back.

So they continued where they left off, but in the back of her head she was still thinking of her boyfriend. She had deep feelings for him, too, and he was so devoted to her. She wanted them both to be hers and that was the biggest mistake she had ever made.

At hearing her finally say she couldn’t be with both of them, that only meant one thing. Either she had to break up with her boyfriend so they could be together or she stayed with her boyfriend and act like this affair never happened and never speak of it again. Little did he know that what they had was far from over.

“Hayley,” he murmured, swallowing hard. “What was the choice you made?”

She moved the sheet aside and got up from the bed, looking down at the scattered clothes on the floor to pick up her bra and what she thought was her shirt. However, she tossed it back on the ground when she saw it was his and as much as she loved wearing the shirts from his clothing line, this wasn’t a time to do that. Seeing her trying to get dressed made him aware that she was leaving and his heart sank.

“I’m going home,” Hayley told him as she put her bra back on and slipped on her underwear. “I have to let him know that I can’t be with him anymore.”

His eyes widened at her words, almost wanting to ask her to repeat them to make sure he had heard them right. She made a choice. She chose him.

He tried to speak. Tried to make out a sentence to give her a response. “I...you’re really...”

She had put on her shirt and with her jeans in hand, she sat on the bed again. Her other hand reached up to twirl a strand of his hair around her finger. “I want you. Only you. I should’ve been with you from the start and last night helped me see that.”

Last night.

Many things had transpired last night. When she had arrived home to find her boyfriend waiting for her kneeling down on one knee, she felt sick to her stomach and wished she hadn’t come home at all. At the sight of that diamond ring, she felt like she couldn’t breathe and tears formed in her eyes. The worst part was that he mistook those tears as tears of joy and said those four words that punched her in the gut.

“Will you marry me?”

She backed away from him, trying to keep her voice steady but failing. “I-I’m sorry. I need more time to think about this.”

His face fell and he stood up, closing the small velvet black box in his hands. He was gripping onto it tightly and held it closely to his chest.

“More time to think about this?” he repeated, his voice sounding more harsh. “How much time do you need, Hayley? We’ve been together for six years and you still need time to think? I sometimes wonder if you even picture having a future with me.”

And that was it. She had always pictured settling down and getting married. She had even pictured starting a family after the birth of Jeremy’s daughter. But she wanted that kind of future with the right person and as sweet and loving her boyfriend was, he wasn’t the one she pictured having a future with. Even after six years of dating him, it still didn’t feel right. Which is why she found herself walking out the house, ignoring his calls and not even looking back to see if he was going after her. Hayley went to the only person she knew she could turn to.

She went over to his place and as soon as he opened the door, she immediately threw her arms around him and the tears she had been holding back were finally falling. After explaining what had happened, he calmed her down with soothing words and tried his best to tell her that she shouldn’t feel guilty. Surprisingly, this worked and she just held onto him tightly as if she was afraid he would leave her the moment she let go. She didn’t ever want to let him go and if she could hold him like that for the rest of her life, she would. Because that night, she realized that she saw herself having a future with him and no one else. She saw herself marrying him and starting a family. He was the only one she saw herself being with and because of this revelation, she ended up kissing him over and over again.

They spent the night together and when morning came, she knew she wanted the rest of her days to be like this.

"I don't love him," she whispered into his ear. "I love you."

Hayley planted kisses on his cheek and her lips traveled up to kiss his temple. He lifted a hand to caress her face, his thumb running along the curve of her cheekbone. He had wanted her to say those words to him for so long and after finally hearing them, he felt nothing but happiness. But she still wasn’t his. Not yet. Only one more thing needed to be done for her to finally be his.

"Don't tell me," he said softly. "Tell him."

She nodded and proceeded to slip on her jeans. She had to leave him for a bit to go back home where her boyfriend would be waiting for her. She was going to take his hands and sit him down so she could let him know that she didn’t deserve him. He deserved to move on and find a girl who could really love him and give herself to him fully. A girl he could marry and have for himself because Hayley wasn’t that girl. She had to let him know. She had to tell him.

She had to tell Oliver.

Hayley got up from the bed, put on her shoes, and grabbed her bag. Before leaving, she leaned down and tilted his chin up, giving him one last kiss on the lips. When she pulled away, she took a few minutes to look into his deep blue eyes.

“I’ll be back, Josh.”

With that, she left the room and went out the door. He lay there for a bit before getting dressed himself, still dazed by the kiss she had given him and her last words echoing in his head.

He was finally hers and only hers.