My 30 Day Challenge

Day 4 cont’d: Do you consider yourself to be addicted? Why or why not?

‘So, where is Mike?’ I asked as we got out of the car. There was a party going on inside the house we were parked in front of, and the music already hurt my ears. It wasn’t anything I knew or liked.
We were about an hour and a half away from San Diego, and Vic and I had been silent almost the whole way out here. It hadn’t taken much to convince him to let me come; apparently I was only coming, though, because he didn’t ‘want to leave me alone in a vulnerable state.’
‘Well, he used to be pretty good friends with the guy that lives here, so I figured he’d probably be here, if there’s a party going on…’ he trailed off, sounding annoyed. The door was unlocked, so we headed straight in.
‘Hey, look, it’s Vic!’ shouted some random guy. ‘What are you going here, buddy? I thought you’d sworn off the fun life.’ He and a couple of others around him laughed. They were drunk off their asses and smelled of cigarette smoke. I tried not to look disgusted.
‘Hey, Jona. I know I haven’t been around for a while, I’ve been busy, sorry, man. Listen, have you seen Mike?’
‘Mikey boy! Little Mike! The brooo!’ Jona yelled. ‘He was here before, but him and Oli left. They don’t like us. They’re gonna go to Jordan’s party, aren’t they? We’re way more fun than them. Jordan’s an ass. He told me to – ‘ Vic had stormed out and I had had enough of this drunken idiot. I had to run to keep up with him.
Once we were in the car and on the way to another party, presumably, I noticed Vic was shaking and gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. He was also driving 5 miles above the limit.
‘Vic,’ I said. ‘Vic.’ He ignored me. ‘Vic, you need to stop driving. You could crash. Just pull over and calm down.’
‘I don’t need to calm down!’ he snapped. ‘I’m fine! We have to find Mike!’ I was pretty sure this wasn’t him, and that if we didn’t slow down soon, we would definitely have a car crash.
‘You’re right, you don’t need to calm down, you just need to slow down a little, there might be police around, and if you got arrested, you wouldn’t be able to go get him, would you,’ I invented, keeping my voice as steady as possible.
Slowly, he took his foot off the gas, and pulled over outside someone’s house. He didn’t move to get out, so I assumed we weren’t in the right place. He pulled his legs up onto the seat and hugged them, resting his head on his knees, and I could hear soft crying noises. He looked so small and vulnerable. I wasn’t really sure what to do, so I wrapped my arm around him and just sat there with him for a while.
‘Do you want me to call Jaime or Tony?’ I asked softly. He shook his head gently. ‘Your parents?’ He shook his head again, violently.
And so we sat there. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, and he didn’t appear to want to say anything. He seemed to get over it surprisingly quickly though; it only felt like a couple of minutes before he turned his head sideways to face me.
‘Thanks,’ he whispered. I smiled.
‘No problem.’ Seeing Vic so sad was like a crime; I felt obligated to do anything I could to make him happier. ‘You’d do it for me.’
He decided he was done with his episode quickly; almost instantly he straightened up and got out of the car. I’d been wrong in assuming this wasn’t the right house, apparently, because Vic just walked straight up to the door and started picking the lock. I scurried to keep up.
Once inside, he headed straight for the stairs, and I hesitated before waiting at the bottom. I didn’t want to get involved in whatever might be happening up there.
I waited for what felt like forever, but after 5 minutes on the grandfather clock and some muffled shouting I couldn’t understand, I got worried and headed up. All of the doors were shut but the one down the far end, and as I got to it, Vic walked out, dragging Mike by the arm. He motioned for me to follow, and stormed out of the house. Another boy ran out, shirtless, covered in tattoos, with bruises covering the visible skin on his body and bags under his eyes. He looked for Mike, but the two were already out of the house.
‘Hey, you. What’s your name?’ he asked in an English accent. I stared, kind of speechless, before whispering ‘K-Kellin.’
‘I’m Oliver. Are you good friends with Vic and Mikey?’ I nodded, shaking. ‘Kellin, I know this looks bad, and I suppose in a way it might be, but I need you to tell Mike that I’m sorry, I had to, and I swear it won’t happen again. Can you do that?’
‘I-I gues-ss,’ I stammered, nervous as all hell. He sighed, running a hand though his hair.
‘I’d go after them, but Vic would probably tear me to shreds, and I’m not really in the best shape right now,’ he said, looking down at himself and chuckling slightly. ‘Thanks, Kellin. I’d go now if I were you, supposing you came here with them and want to get home.’ With that he turned around and went back into the room, closing the door.
My heart was still racing, and I was still scared as all hell, but I made my way downstairs and out to the car, where Vic was brooding in the drivers’ seat and Mike was sulking in the passenger seat. I slid into the back, where I could tell Vic was about to explode with anger.
‘What the FUCK were you thinking, Mike? You know where hanging out with Oliver Sykes lands you! Don’t you remember? You swore to me that you wouldn’t talk to him again! You told me you were done with all that! What the fuck happened? I thought I could trust you, but obviously I can’t!’
‘It’s not what it looks like, Vic, I swear to God – ‘
‘What do you think it looked like, Mike? Because I can’t imagine anything else it could be! I can’t even look at you right now! And not just because I’m driving! I just… I need to think. Don’t talk to me until we get home.’ And with that he wouldn’t respond to anything Mike said.
After one of the longest drives of my life, where Mike gave up on trying to talk to Vic and didn’t make any conversation attempts with me, we arrived home, and Vic promptly got out and went inside, slamming both the car door and the house door. Mike sighed, and followed suit. I, however, stood in the driveway, deliberating. I could go inside and potentially get involved in something I really didn’t want to be a part of, or I could go somewhere else.
Obviously I was going to go somewhere else. My first choice was the Cliff of Sorrow, as I’d dubbed it in my head. But I didn’t really want to be found, so that was out. My next thought was Jack’s house, but I couldn’t just show up without an invite. I could just walk and see where I ended up, but I wanted to just sit and think for a while, holding my knees and just staring into the middle of nowhere.
I ended up on the beach. The sun had set but it was still light enough to see, and the blue-grey of the sky was beautiful. The first stars were barely visible, the beach was empty, and all I could hear was the sound of the waves. I turned off my phone and sat with my feet hanging over the edge of the pier, leaning against a wooden post. I thought about everything that had happened today.
I’d told Jack about everything, for one. I honestly hoped I wouldn’t regret that, and the cynical side of me said I would, but I trusted Jack now, and I was hoping to God that Dr Jardine was right.
Then Vic’s question had been whether or not I thought I was addicted. It bothered me that I thought I was. I’d never really thought about it before, somehow, and to suddenly realise that was hard-hitting. Maybe I did need to go to that stupid mental hospital.
And finally, we’d gone and found Mike. Before today, I had been kind of intrigued as to what he’d done in the past that was so bad, but now, after seeing that Oliver guy, and Vic being so angry in the car… I didn’t think I did. I was even more scared of him now than I was before.
Sighing, I looked at the sky and saw it had grown dark. It was probably time for me to go back, but I really didn’t want to. My conscience that had seemingly appeared from nowhere since I got to San Diego got the better of me, though, and I headed back. I turned my phone on as I was about halfway home, and saw I had a couple of missed calls from Vic and one from Mike. I ignored them, thinking I’d be there soon.
As I walked in the door I was accosted by Mrs Fuentes.
‘Kellin, are you okay? Where were you? Why didn’t you call? Oh, I was so worried!’ she exclaimed. I immediately felt guilty.
‘I’m sorry, Mrs – Vivian. I just went for a walk, and you weren’t here when I left, and I lost track of time. Nothing happened though, I’m perfectly fine,’ I assured her.
‘Are you sure? You don’t need anything or anyone?’
‘Really, I’m okay. Just a little tired, is all.’
‘Oh well,’ she mused, seeming satiated for the moment, ‘I suppose, as long as you’re okay… alright. No punishment. But next time, leave a note, or answer your phone! And you will not be going to bed until you’ve had dinner.’
I was then ushered into the kitchen, sat down at the table and questioned about my school life and whether or not I’d made any friends and if I wanted to go into the city at all for anything. It appeared she thought I’d left because she’d been neglecting me, which couldn’t be further from the truth. To be honest, I’d… I’d enjoyed my time at the Fuentes’ so far. Except for all of the drama her two sons created. Although I did have to take some of the blame for that.
‘I’m afraid Vic and Mike won’t be joining us, Kellin, they went out with Tony and Jaime. You were invited, but of course, you weren’t here, so…’ she trailed off. ‘I imagine they’ll be back some time tonight.’
So I ate dinner with my guardians, and when I’d finished I went upstairs to ‘do homework’. I hadn’t lied about being tired though, so I lay on my bed, willing sleep to come to me. After an hour or two, it did.