Light the Way to Your Heart

Another new school. Another place for Alex to waste his time in mind numbing boredom. It was supposed to be a place that made you think and where you become smarter. But behind the facade of education, Alex knew exactly what the school was. It was a glorified babysitting center. And Alex was sick of it.

Alex was sick of the new school and the new faces and the new names. He knew that he wouldn’t be here for more than a couple of months. That’s how it always went. New home. New school. New routine. And as soon as Alex starts getting comfortable, his mum gets assigned a new location and they're moving again. Sometimes it’s to a different country. Like now, it’s his first time back in the states before his parents split.

The counselor was spouting out information about the school. Classes he could take, extracurricular activities he could join, and even a little gossip. Alex barely registered any of it. He quit paying attention to this shit before he was even in high school. Now, as a senior, he still didn’t care.

Honestly, if Alex’s mum wasn’t there, he’d probably have been screwed. She knew him well enough to get him in the classes he needed and the ones he’d most likely enjoy. She was great like that. In return, Alex wouldn’t be a complete ass to her. He also kept his grades decent and made sure their home was in order. Alex considered himself to be a pretty good kid.

The counselor finally stopped droning on and Alex’s mum stood up. Alex realized that it was time to go to class and followed his mum out the door. She hugged him tightly in the hallway and said. “Be good.”

“I know mum,” Alex rolled his eyes. His mum gave him a routine talk at each new school. This one was no exception.

“I think this school will be good for you,” she replied.

“I’m sure it will be too,” Alex replied. He felt like a robot.

“I’m serious Ally,” she said, ignoring Alex’s complaints about that stupid nickname. “This is it. You can finally settle in.”

Alex looked at his beat up black sneakers. There was a tear near his big toe on the right foot. He didn’t notice that before. New shoes were another thing to add onto his list of new things. Alex just wanted something old and familiar. He wanted something he didn’t have to let go.

“Alex, look at me,” his mum’s stern voice broke his thoughts.

Alex clenched his jaw and looked up. He didn’t want to but he never liked rebelling against his mum. He knew she carried a heavy burden and didn’t want to add on more weight. So he met her eyes.

“You will graduate from this school. So stop sulking and enjoy yourself for once,” she said.

“Sure thing mum.” Alex didn’t mean to sound sarcastic. He never did. He didn’t like getting yelled at, especially in public.

Alex’s mum’s eyes narrowed at Alex, but she decided to let it go. She didn’t give the boy an easy life these past few years. “I’m serious Ally. You’re staying here. I want you to make some friends and get a girlfriend or something. Your old friend, Zack, goes here. Maybe you two could be friends again.”

Alex’s heart lept at the mention of Zack. He didn’t know that Zack went here. As much as he wanted to see Zack, he couldn’t let himself get attached to his old best friend. He didn’t want to lose him again.

“Maybe,” Alex replied. His mouth was dry and he he had to force the word out of his mouth. He didn’t allow himself any friends. There was no way he’d let Zack in.

“You better. You’re going to have a life here and I want you to make the most of it.”

“I got mum.”

“Okay,” she sounded a little relieved but also like she didn’t believe Alex. That hurt Alex a bit but he knew that she was right not to believe him. He didn’t believe that her when she said they’d stay. He never did and was always right.

Alex start to say bye but before he finished, his mum stopped him. He kind of hoped she forgot this part of her new school talk. “And you know what to do if Luminance happens to you?”

“Ugh,” Alex groaned. “Call you right away. I know mum.”

“Just making sure,” she laughed. Alex tried to walk away but she wasn’t done. “And what if Luminance happens with a teacher?”

Alex wondered why she had to always make things so awkward. “Die of embarrassment. I know this mum.”

Alex’s mum smiled, “okay okay. I’ll let you go now. But first, a hug.”

Alex stepped forward to let his mum squeeze him. She kissed his cheek, before saying “I love you,” and letting go.

“I love you too mum,” Alex replied. “I got to get to class. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye sweetie,” she said. As Alex was walking away, she remembered something. “You have the address to the house right?”

“Yeah mom. I didn’t forget,” Alex called back. He wanted to get annoyed. She always kept him longer than he’d like. But he was used to it. Plus, it kept him from the stares of being the new kid.

“Okay. I’m having all of our stuff moved over today so don’t worry about going back to the hotel.”

“I know mum.”

“I’m sorry. You know how I worry.”

“It’s all right mum. I’ll be fine.” Alex said. “I love you.”

His mum smiled in response and finally let him go.

Alex didn’t look back as he walked away. He knew if he did, he’d probably run back and cling to his mum like a toddler. He needed to be strong. So, he didn’t look back.