Stealing Glances

February 2016

Production rehearsals for the “These Friends Are… New Friends Are Golden” tour had begun, 3 days of nonstop rehearsals for the shows to make sure everything had sounded and looked the way each band wanted.

The Maine had brought back some old familiar faces on tour with them now having a bigger budget and needing a bit more helping hands due to their new arena tour. They had brought back Gary Ferenchak (for FOH/lights), Matt “Nasty” Van Gasbeck (for tech), and Brandon Sloter (for videos and photos) for their new big adventures.

John, Patrick, Pete, Brendon, and Jamison all were sitting in the living room at Pete’s house going over the details for Fall Out Boy’s set list, specifically the songs they would be apart of.

“Brendon’s coming out for “20 Dollar Nosebleed”, Jae will do “Just One Yesterday”, so what song should we do with John?” Pete looked over at Patrick. “Do you have any particular song you want to do?” He asked, looking over at John.

“Um—I can’t even process what’s going on right now.” John admitted, with a sheepish chuckle hoping he didn’t sound too much like a fanboy.

“Let’s just throw ideas out there…” Patrick suggested, as everyone nodded and thought for a moment.

“How about “Where Is Your Boy?”—I could see that.” Brendon suggested, taking a sip of his beer.

“Dude, but that seems so predictable.” Pete said, “What about you Jae? Any ideas, since you’ve worked with John…” He looked over at Jamison whose eyes went wide being caught off guard.

John’s eyes shifted to Jamison who meditated on the question before answering.

“I think you should put “You’re Crashing” on the set list and have John do Butch’s part—he’s vocally the closest to Butch’s voice amongst us and can give it the justice.” She suggested, not even looking at John. “And he can finish the song with Patrick…” She pointed over to Patrick who mused over the idea then nodded in agreement with her sentiment.

“That’s a fucking good idea Jae.” Pete said, clapping his hands together. “You’re great.”

“You’re great Jae.” Brendon mimicked mockingly, causing Jamison to smack his shoulder then the two bursting out in laughter.

“How ‘bout it John?” Patrick asked, looking at John with a smile.

He nodded, “Sure.”

“So, with “Donnie” I think we should Jake and Kenny in on it, so we don’t have to double up on verses.” Patrick suggested to the group. “Then we all can do “Growing Up” together and end it.”

“I think that’s a good idea.” Brendon agreed, with an approving nod.

“We’ll figure out the parts later for that. Encore wise— for “Homesick” we’ll all just come out and do “these friends are, new friends are golden” and finish the song all together…” Pete said, looking down at his iPad and the notes he had typed out.

Patrick nodded, “Yeah.”

“Alright. I think we got it then.” Pete said, “Let’s just figure out keys and arrangements for everyone and do run-throughs during production rehearsals next week?” He asked, looking at everyone to see if they had any objections.

“Great.” John said, looking at everyone but Jamison.

“Super.” Jamison said, doing the exact same thing.

The first day of rehearsals had only been for The Maine and Jamison with Brendon and Patrick respectively joining due to both being apart of the openers set.

“Can we have The Maine on stage, to do a run-through their set?” Rocko, the stage manager for Fall Out Boy said, through the speakers as the guys began going on stage.

After The Maine had done a run through of their set, Brendon had came on stage to do his run through for “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” with the band.

“Let’s do a run with Brendon once then Patrick and see how it goes…” Gary said, through the speakers from the soundboard as the lead singers nodded putting in their in-ears.

Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world.
I want to be the one to walk in the sun
When the working day is done.
When the working day is done.

After they finished the song, John and Brendon both took out one side of their in-ears and waited for feedback from Gary.

“Sounds good…” Gary said, “Let’s do it once with Patrick.” Patrick began walking onto the stage putting in his in-ears.

After The Maine had done another hour of run-throughs with their set, it had been Jamison’s turn.

“Can we have Jamison do her run-through?” Rocko said, as The Maine finished loading out their gear for the day.

John had caught a glimpse of Jamison’s run-through as she began working out the details with the sound with the band as well as her sound guy Dave.

“And then for “Runaway” we’ll have Brendon come on and do drums…” Dave said, through the speakers from the soundboard.

“Right…” Jamison said, nodding her head as she took out one of her in-ears.

Something about the sight of Jamison on stage seemed so surreal to John…

The next day Jamison and John both had to show up for an hour of rehearsal for their respective roles during Fall Out Boy’s set.

“Can we have John come on for “You’re Crashing…” and go through that before we go onto doing “Donnie” with everyone?” Mike, the sound guy for Fall Out Boy asked.

After John’s run through Jake, Kenneth, Brendon, and Jamison all walked on stage taking their respective spots. Most notably, Jamison being sandwiched in between Jake and John due to the sequence of order.

“Alright so Kenny does “Where Is Your Boy”, Jake does “Sugar”, Bren does “Dance, Dance”, Jamison does “This Ain’t A Scene”, and John does “Thanks For”, and then we’ll all do “Growing Up” together?” Patrick said, looking at everyone for confirmation or objections.

“Sounds right.” Pete said, putting in his in-ears.

Everyone did their respective parts to the song without a problem, sound had seemed to be fine.

“Let’s just go through it and then do “Homesick” and see how it sounds then John and I can do “You’re Crashing…” again.” Patrick suggested, looking at John.

John nodded, “Alright.”

After another run through of “You’re Crashing But You’re No Wave” with Fall Out Boy, it had been Brendon’s turn to do “20 Dollar Nosebleed” with the band then Jamison’s turn with “Just One Yesterday”.

Jamison and Patrick began practicing together as John watched from side stage waiting for her to finish so he could do another run-through after.

If I spilled my guts
The world would never look at you the same way
And now I'm here to give you all my love
So I can watch your face as I take it all away, away, away, ay ay ay

John watched intently somehow it felt to him like despite being at a happy point in his life, he couldn’t understand why life had to throw Jamison Song back into his life.

What was the world trying to tell him?

-------

March 2016

The first night of the “These Friends Are… New Friends Are Golden” tour had been filled with familiar faces— Butch had flown out for support and to celebrate, as well Brendan, all while the colossal tour being kicked off on Jake’s birthday.

Butch, Brendan, Jake, and Jamison stood in the hallway in front of Jamison’s dressing room going over the small set list change for the show as Butch and Brendan would be joining Jamison on stage to play their songs with her.

“So tonight, we’ll do, “Synthesizers” and “What I’m Looking For” with Brendan and Butch?” Jamison asked, looking at the three to make sure the set list had been locked before going to sound check later.

“Yeah. I think we’re good…” Jake said, with a nod.

“Super.” She nodded, looking at her phone. “Peter wants film a tour update. So I’ll be back.” She gave a wave before walking off.

Brendan watched Jamison walk off out of sight before turning to Jake. “So, the elephant in the room—is she avoiding the people over at The Maine camp?”

“Not actively but you know, she kind of is…” Jake answered, with a shrug.

“I thought things were fine now after the whole reunion last year?” Butch said, looking a bit confused.

“I think texting and calling are different than hanging out together… and I don’t think John knows about our reunions…” Jake said, emphasizing on his latter statement before taking out his phone as it rang. “I’ll be back, I’m getting a flood of birthday calls from the family.” Jake said, as he followed Jamison’s suit and walked off.

What the three men didn’t know was John was around the corner on the opposite side and had heard the tail end conversation. He had no idea Jamison and the guys had reunited before this tour and he wasn’t completely sure show he had felt about it. He took a moment before turning the corner to walk down the hall to sound check.

“Brendan. Butch… good to see you guys.” John said, giving a weak smile feeling a bit awkward but hoping it didn’t show.

“Hey man.” Butch said, happily giving him a quick hug. “Good seeing you too. It’s been a long time.” He looked at John with a smile.

“It has. You look good dude.” Brendan said, shaking John’s hand looking genuinely happy to see him.

“Thanks.” John wasn’t sure why they’d be happy to see him. He had wondered if the two were faking it. “You guys look good as well.”

“Being a father is making me age way too quickly.” Brendan joked, causing John to laugh.

Butch looked at Brendan and chuckled before looking back at John, “I’m stoked to be singing with you tonight man.” He said, as Patrick suggested Butch and John both join him tonight on stage for “You’re Crashing But You’re No Wave”.

“The pleasure is all mine.” John nodded, “I gotta get going for sound check.” It hadn’t been a lie, but mostly he didn’t want the conversation to drag on any further.

“We’ll catch up later.” Brendan offered, giving John a small wave.

“For sure.” John said, before quickly walking off to be early to sound check.

The first set of the night for The Maine had gone swimmingly, better than they had even imagined. The show had sold out and the arena had been filled with 10,000 fans.

“We are The Maine and thank you Nashville for joining us tonight.” John said, as they finished their last song. “We’ll see you when we’re looking at you.”

After their set, they quickly walked off stage to immediately ne greeted by Brendon who had watched their set from side stage.

“You guys did great.” Brendon said, with a smile.

“Thanks.” Garrett said, wiping his face with a towel.

“I am going to go watch Jae’s set till I have to join her, you guys should join.” Brendon offered, looking at John then the rest of the members.

John shifted his eyes. “Uh—“

“Come on, it’s all about the bonding on this tour.” Brendon said,

“I’m in.” Jared said, raising his hand.

Brendon nodded towards the direction of the stage. “Come on.”

Jared, John, and Brendon stood with Brendan and Butch side stage watching Jamison begin her set. Everyone watched intently before Brendon, Butch, and Brendan had joined Jamison on stage for their songs then ran off to the dressing rooms after performing leaving John and Jared alone to watch Jamison’s set. John looked over at Jared who had an unreadable expression, he kept wondering if all the guys had been keeping in touch with Jamison and if so, for how long.

“Thank you everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself. I am Jamison Song.” She said, into her microphone. “This is my backing band on this tour, they are The Black Widows—some officially and some honorary. But on guitar we have Mr. Fran Capitanelli—who is the professor of energy and the best storyteller ever.” She pointed over to the mustached man on her right side as the crowd cheer.

“Don’t let Fran talk into the microphone!” Jake said, pointing at Fran to step away from the microphone while laughing into his own microphone.

“Over there we have Chris Unck—who I call Unck the hunk.” Jamison introduced as Chris did a little guitar riff before taking a bow.

“But sadly he is taken.” Fran said, in mock sadness causing everyone in the band to laugh.

“On drums we have the amazing Patrick Keeler of The Raconteurs and also The Greenhornes.” She gestured to the drummer behind her, as the crowd continued to cheer. “And last but certainly not least, on bass is the Jake Sinclair—or Sinclizzle, depending on the day. He’s my partner in crime in life… oh right, and can we all sing “Happy Birthday” to Jake real quick, today is his birthday.”

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday Dear Jake
Happy birthday to you

The crowd finished singing then began cheering for Jake who gave a small bow and thank you.

“I know it’s Jake birthday in all, but we’re your favorites, right?” Fran said into the microphone jokingly while staring at Jake who shook his head in mock disbelief at Fran’s statement.

Jamison laughed, “Do you even have to ask Fran?” She answered jokingly as Jake opened his mouth in fake shock at her words.

Fran gave a mock salute, “Just checking.” He said, as everyone laughed.

“Before we get into the next song, can we give it up for The Maine? They really rocked it.” Jamison said, as everyone in the crowd began screaming and cheering.

“Let’s give a little love to Panic! At The Disco…” Jake said, gesturing for everyone to cheer once more.

“Kenny the guitarist was actually in a band with Jake.” Jamison said, “And finally let’s give it up for the men who brought on us this tour—Fall Out Boy.” The crowd began going insane for the headliners who hadn’t even performed yet.

“You guys can do better than that…” Jake teased, causing everyone to go even more insane.

“That’s better…” Fran said as he chuckled into his microphone.

“So, this next song—we’re going to slow it down a bit… I wrote this song on my flight to Australia and the mindset I was in… was just not in this world but I think a pretty okay song came out of it.” Jamison said, while chuckling sheepishly. “On the album, I had a wonderful choir help do the backing vocals but I have all the confidence in the world The Black Widows and I can do just a good of a job without a huge choir to sing this song—this one is called “Make This Go On Forever” I hope you like it.”

Please don't let this turn into something it's not
I can only give you everything I've got
I can't be as sorry as you think I should
But I still love you more than anyone else could

All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right
This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong

The last boy and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

John intently watched Jamison sing, the lyrics and realized the exact moments she had taken inspiration from.

“You’ve changed my life— I don’t think I’ll ever be able to listen to music the same way again because of you or even just live my life the same way—I won’t be the same. I now get what all the books, movies, and songs were talking about. I understand now and now I can just look at the world with a different perspective and that’s all because of you.” She said sounding genuinely grateful as her eyes glazed over with tears.

John felt his heart swell and break simultaneously hearing Jamison’s words. He felt paralyzed and unable to speak due to the lump in his throat. How would he respond to that?

But she continued…

“You are changing the world, I don’t think you have any idea on what you are doing and what kind of person you are—the amount of love you have in your heart to give, the hope you give, and just how amazing you are. I hope one day, you see yourself the way I see you.” A few tears began falling from her face as she quickly began wiping them and recomposed herself.

“Jamison…” John said, looking at her wanting to hug her but he knew if he did, it would only make things harder for the both of them.

“I gotta get going…” She kissed his cheek before grabbing her suitcases. “Bye John.” She said giving him a final smile.

Jamison began walking towards the door without looking back at John who just stood there feeling completely paralyzed.

“I love you…” He uttered while wondering if she could hear the last words he said to her.

She had heard him…

“I personally never thought she’d ever get to this point.” Patrick said, appearing next to John and Jared catching them both off guard. “She’s just as great as we all thought she would be.”

“Yeah…” John mumbled, not knowing how to respond.

Brendon reappeared after running off to the dressing room. “You guys did great by the way. I know it’s the first night but this tour is going to be a good one.” He said, smiling.

“Thanks for having us on this tour—it’s surreal.” Jared smiled, “Having you come out during out set is even more surreal.”

“Thanks for being on tour with us and coming out during out set… twice, or wait… thrice every night.” Patrick chuckled, causing everyone to break out into a smile.

“It’s an honor.” John assured him.

“You’re all coming out tonight for the party to celebrate the first night of tour and Jake’s birthday right?” Brendon asked, looking at John and Jared.

Truth be told, John didn’t want to be in the same room with Jamison let alone celebrate her boyfriend’s birthday with her.

“Yes sir.” Jared answered, before John could decline.

“Great.” Patrick smiled. “I’m going to go call my wife but see you out there later.” He said, before walking off.

After a great first show, everyone had went back to the hotel and gotten ready to go out to Anthem, one of Nashville’s hotspots, that Fall Out Boy had rented out for the after party and Jake’s birthday party.

The dress code had been “nicer dressy casual”, which was something most of the guys in The Maine weren’t sure they had packed but luckily everyone had packed a few button up shirts and blazers.

“I’m stealing your suspenders.” Pat said, as John was his roommate for the night.

John was looking at the mirror adjusting his bowtie. “Yeah… whatever.” He mumbled, deciding to become passive aggressive in a sense towards his band mates.

The guys had been driven over to Anthem via limo courtesy of Pete. They entered the swanky club to see everyone from the tour along with some friends that the other bands had invited that lived in the area.

Brendon had immediately greeted the guys over to the lounge area where he and the bands were sitting, making John sit next to him and with Jamison by his other side and Jake next to her. Brendon had made John sit beside him and gave him a beer to start off with. John looked over at Jamison who had changed from a simple t-shirt and jeans combo into a black fringe mini dress that reminded him of a modern 1920’s flapper dress while Jake wore a grey vest suit. The two were conversing with Butch, Brendan, Dallon, and Kenneth, smiling and laughing.

“John, since you are the newest “friend” on tour—specifically the front man of your band. I am going to make you do what Pete made me do one time… I hope you can power through and do it and maybe even remember tonight.” Brendon said, with an almost evil laugh. “You have to finish a bottle of Dom Perignon.”

“Oh man…” John laughed nervously. “I’ll do my best.”

“But first let’s all order another round of drinks before we start any debauchery.” Brendon yelled, causing everyone to shift their attention to him. “And Jake… we are here to celebrate you as well cause you’re the dreamiest.”

“Did you drink before we got here Bren?” Jamison said, teasingly punching Brendon on the arm.

“A little.” He joked, playing along. “Just a little—the rest is all me. But drink this place out tonight courtesy of Fall Out Boy!” Brendon shouted, as everyone cheered raising their drinks.

An hour later, a cake had arrived where they were sitting as everyone began singing ‘happy birthday’ once more for Jake Sinclair before speeches were being thrown around.

“Jake Sinclair, you are like a life partner, little brother, and sometimes even a son.” Butch joked, raising his glass of whiskey as everyone hollered and cheered. “There are never enough ways to express my gratitude to you for your friendship and work. I am so glad I stole you cause you are just so damn amazing… actually, I’m pretty fucking great. But I never tell you this but you are my work wife. I hope you’ll never realize you’re too good for me and leave cause it doesn’t work without you. Happy Birthday you bastard, here’s to many more…” He finished, giving Jake a hug and sloopy kiss on the cheek before everyone began cheering and chanting Jake’s name.

“Jae, you have to do a speech.” Brendon heckled, as Jamison rolled her eyes.

“Alright…” She said, getting up from her seat and about to say a few words.

Brendon quickly grabbed her by the waist and put her on top of the table to stand. “Up you go…” He said, causing Jamison to yelp in surprise almost losing her balance.

She composed herself then gave Brendon the finger (to which he responded by blowing air kisses) before beginning her speech.

“Jake Sinclair, today we are celebrating the day where this world went from being a world without you, to a world with you. Your existence in this world has been nothing but a pleasure… for the most part.” She teased, causing everyone to laugh. “These past couple of years haven’t been easy for either of us, but I know I wouldn’t be here right now if you hadn’t been there for me. I get sad thinking about how you’ll never how much I appreciate you but I got my entire life to try to even convey an ounce of what you mean to me. Since this is getting too sentimental… let’s all just acknowledge that I’m your favorite person even though Butch is here.” She laughed, as everyone cheered in agreement.

“He’s mine!” Butch yelled, before going into a fit of laughter.

“There’s going to be a lot of roadblocks and happy times ahead but as always—we’re in this together.” She gave a nod, looking over at Jake who smiled. “I have a lot of vices but you’ll always be my favorite Sin. Happy birthday to you Jacob Sinclair—you’re pretty fucking great.” She smiled, lifting up her glass of whiskey.

“To Jake!” Pete yelled, putting up his glass as everyone followed along.

“Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake.” Everyone chanted, as Jake laughed and gave a small bow before grabbing Jamison and carried her off the table.

Half a bottle of Dom Perignon and Jameson (with the members who had drank) and conversations with the members of Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco. The Maine had created a new friendship and bond with the members of both bands. Something that they only had dreamed about when they were teens had now become a reality of sorts.

It was weird thinking about it for them… but it was happening.

The night had finally winded down and slowly everyone began throwing around the idea of heading back to the hotel before bus call later in the morning. Everyone had designated Pete to make a speech about the tour before calling it a night.

“Okay, first off I want to say I know this tour is going to be fucking great cause you all are good people whom I consider friends—even you guys over at The Maine camp. But let’s make a lot of good memories and wreck some havoc together in every way possible for the next three months!” Pete shouted, “To friends being golden.” He raised his glass as everyone did the same.

“To being golden.” Everyone repeated, clinking their drinks with the person next to them.