Stealing Glances

New York, New York

The day before the big show at Madison Square Garden, everyone had their time to enjoy the city of New York and explore the city or do something as simple as catching up on sleep. But for Jamison and John, they were to have some press before the show tomorrow with iHeartRadio and a week before they had requested the two do a duet together for the song “The Day I Lost My Voice” by Copeland. To avoid one another as much as they could, the two decided to practice the song separately for the week before the day before where they would decided how to arrange the song together.

John was in his hotel room getting ready for his day while Molly was in the shower doing the same. The two decided to spend the day going around New York after John had finished his band duties for the day.

John’s phone began to ring, he checked caller ID to see it was their tour manager Chris probably telling John what was on his agenda for the day before he had his day off.

“Hello?” John answered, running his hand through his messy hair.

“Hey. You and Jamison have rehearsal for your radio show tomorrow to practice. You guys have rehearsal space rented out for a few hours to get the song down to a pat together.” Chris said, as John felt a sense of dread run through him. “Taxi is waiting for you downstairs.”

“Alright.” He said, before hanging up.

John quickly left a note for Molly before grabbing his hotel key and wallet and heading out the door. The taxi that had been waiting for him downstairs had driven him to the rehearsal space, the minute he walked in he saw Jamison already sitting on a chair with her legs crossed and looking like she was deep in thought with a pensive look on her face. The two awkwardly greeted each other before John took the empty seat in front of the keyboard.

This was something that a few years ago John would have killed to have the opportunity to do with Jamison. But now it became something that gave him anxiety. Being in a space with her in any capacity always brought smiles and laughter but now it had brought nothing but dull awkward exchanges between the two. Sometimes, it baffled him how much of a 180 everything took and how extreme it all was.

“Alright, so how should we divvy this song up?” Jamison asked, putting her hands into the pockets of her hoodie and avoiding eye contact with John.

“I mean we can each take a verse and do the chorus together.” He suggested, watching her tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Do you want to do the piano arrangement?” She offered, adjusting the microphone in front of her.

“Sure.” He nodded, staring at the keyboard like it had been the most interesting thing in the room.

“Let’s try to get this done as quick as possible. I’m sure you want to spend the rest of your day off with someone you can actually be around.” She said, in a nonchalant way but with an underlying sadness.

Truth be told, John was a bit hurt Jamison had said such a thing in such a casual manner. He knew it was somewhat his fault for making her feel that way but it didn’t lessen the blow anymore for him.

“Yeah. Let’s get this done.” He mumbled, before warming up with a few chords on the keyboard.

The next day John was driven to the iHeartRadio building and met up with Jamison before heading up to one of the top floors to then be greeted by Paul, the host who would be interviewing them. The three got into the studio and made a bit of small talk before Paul did his usual introduction and began their press for the day.

“So, we’re here with John O’Callaghan of The Maine and Jamison Song. The two are currently on tour with Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco for the “These Friends Are… New Friends Are Golden” tour, which is happening tonight and tomorrow night at Madison Square Garden and Barclays Center… both shows sold out.” Paul said, reading off his script. “Thanks for coming in today you guys.” He looked at the two with a smile.

“Thanks for having us…” John said, with a smile as Jamison nodded and did the same.

“So, from my research you guys have actually known each other for quite awhile. Jamison, you worked on The Maine’s fourth album and you guys even wrote a book together.” Paul said, reading off his notes then looking at the two.

“Yeah, we’ve known each other for awhile…” John answered, looking over at Jamison who nodded along in agreement.

“Minus the time I fell off the face of the planet and worked on the other side of the world.” Jamison said, jokingly with a sheepish chuckle as Paul laughed while John forced himself to laugh hoping he didn’t sound to awkward.

“How is it touring together as familiar faces?” Paul looked at the two waiting for their answers.

“I’ve known everyone on this tour for years so for me it’s been good, I’m actually afraid one day I might be on tour with people I’ve never met and have to do the whole awkward ‘starting a new friendship’ thing with them.” Jamison joked, letting out a small laugh as Paul laughed along with her.

“Are you panicking about like introducing yourself and having it be like first day of school all over again?”

“Totally.”

“What about you John?” Paul asked, looking over at John to keep the conversation going between everyone.

“It’s been good. Everyone has been so gracious and wonderful. They’ve taken us under their wings and really just propelled our band by letting us be on this tour.”

“So, sold out show at Madison Square Garden and Barclays Center. How does that feel?” Paul asked, as Jamison took a sip from her water bottle.

“Insane.” John answered, with a smile thinking about the show. “I think beyond festivals we’ve never played for 20,000 just for a regular tour.”

“I get kind of nervous thinking about it. These shows are the most anticipated and biggest crowds we’re playing for so far.” Jamison answered, with a nod.

“So far, what’s been your favorite moment on tour?”

“It’s still only like not even 1/3 of the way done but… I really love the all of us going on stage during Fall Out Boy’s set every night.” John said, as he looked over at Jamison who was thinking of her own answer.

“I’ve been exploring the cities when we have time with my bass player Jake on his motorcycle which is fun. But the best thing is… I think so far the bonds that are solidifying, even more so… new and old.” Jamison answered.

“Awesome.” Paul nodded. “Do you want to play a song for us then we can do a few more questions before doing our contest for tickets to tonight’s show?”

“Sure.” Jamison nodded.

“I’m down for that.” John said, also nodding his head in agreement.

“Alright, so you guys are going to sing a favorite of mine that I personally requested… Copeland’s “The Day I Lost My Voice” aka “The Suitcase Song” I’m really curious on how you guys are going to play this…”

“I hope we don’t mess up the song for you.” John said, chuckling sheepishly.

“I’m sure you guys will do great, I actually really wanted to hear you two sing together. I think the only time that’s happened was years ago right after you guys recorded “Forever Halloween” and did a few shows.”

A sudden sense of nostalgia began running through the two, back to the simpler times in their lives. They looked at one another for a moment before snapping back into reality.

“Yeah, it was years ago…” John said, feeling like it was a lifetime ago that he wasn't even sure really happened at times.

“I mean you can technically count every night while we sing “What A Catch Donnie” but I guess that’s just a group thing.” Jamison said, with a weak smile.

“True. But this is what I’ve been waiting for all week.” Paul smiled, looking at the two and then gesturing for them to go over to where they had set up for the duo to play. “So, without further ado… this is John O’Callaghan of The Maine and Jamison Song doing a cover of Copeland’s “The Day I Lost My Voice” exclusively for iHeartRadio. Take it away guys…“

John walked over to the small area where they had setup a keyboard and microphone for him while Jamison walked over to the stool that was across from him where a microphone had also been setup. The two looked at each other for a moment before they silently signaled they were both ready. John began playing the chords to the song as Jamison began to sing.

As sure as the floor 'neath my toes,
And somehow not surprised
That I was superimposed
Somehow in this life
And if my friends and my foes
Would just drop me a line
That'd be nice

You see love is a drink
That goes straight to my head
And time is a lover
And I'm caught in her stead
And the sentiment there follows me
Straight to my bed through the night

I've got my life in a suitcase
And ready to run run run away
I've got no time
'cause I'm always trying to run run run away
'cause everyday it feels like it's only a game
I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase

What could be an anchor here
With a storm on the rise
When you're never meant to see so clear
When smoke gets in your eyes
And the man in the moon
Never makes his replies understood?

I've got my life in a suitcase
And ready to run run run away
I've got no time
'cause I'm always trying to run run run away
'cause everyday it feels like it's only a game
I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase

For a moment I was warm and the world made sense
For a moment here this storm had no consequence

John intently watch Jamison sing, something that he didn’t want to admit to himself was even now despite loathing and despising Jamison, something about watching her perform always fascinated him and put him in a trance—a spell of some sorts. Despite everything, Jamison still had some magic left on John.

I've got my life in a suitcase
And ready to run run run away
I've got no time
'cause I'm always trying to run run run away
'cause everyday it feels like its only a game
I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase

“Thank you guys.” Paul said, as the elevator doors opened. “I’ll see you at the show tonight.”

The two got into the elevator and silently waited for it to them down to the lobby where they both had to head back to the venue for load in and soundcheck. Suddenly, the elevator abruptly stopped and the lights within it flickered before staying on. But the elevator was still at a halt, the two both silently were praying they weren’t stuck inside but they knew better.

“Oh god.” Jamison said, looking a bit panicked. “You got to be kidding me…”

Just then the emergency phone inside the elevator began to ring. John opened the small door to the phone and answered it.

“Hello?”

“John? Are you and Jamison okay?” Paul asked, sounding completely worried.

“Yeah, I think we’re just a bit rattled…” John said, looking over at Jamison who just looked a bit confused or worried, he wasn’t completely sure.

“We have the maintenance people coming but I think it’s going to take awhile. We’ll keep you guys updated but we’ll call your tour managers and let them know. We’re so sorry about this…” Paul apologized, sounding completely sorry about the situation.

“It’s not your fault.” John said, reassuringly.

“Sit tight. We’ll get you guys out as soon as we can.” Paul said, before John hung up and placed the phone back inside the box.

John turned around to see Jamison give him a quizzical look. “We’re going to be stuck here for a bit…” He said, causing her to let out a sigh.

“Well… thank god sound check isn’t for another 3 hours.” She said, sheepishly trying to ease the tension as she took a seat on the floor leaning herself against the corner.

“Yeah…” John said, as he did the same on the opposite side of the elevator.

It had been almost an hour since they had been in the elevator and they were still inside, not a word had been said between the two they both had just stared at the door hoping if they looked at it long enough it would magically open.

Jamison opened her purse and began digging through it before pulled out a few things from inside of it.

“Here.” She said, holding out a bottle of water and bag of pretzel nuggets.

Jamison always had carried snacks in her purse something that John had always found hilarious and endearing.

John stared at the unsure of how to feel about it all. “I’m okay—“ He shook his head.

“We don’t know how long we’ll be in here and you already look like you don’t eat enough, don’t let that be a reality.” She said, pushing it into his hands as it was her way of not taking his refusal for an answer.

“Thanks.” He mumbled, sheepishly before opening the bottle of water and taking a sip from it.

It had seemed like the two were sitting in silence forever. John kept wondering when the elevator would be fixed so he could get out of what felt like the most awkward situation in his entire life.

“John?” Jamison said, catching John a bit off guard.

“Yeah?” He looked over at Jamison who had her head leaned against the wall and wasn’t even looking at him.

“I’m sorry…”

“For what?” He asked, wondering and worrying about what words would come out of her mouth.

“I’m sorry you have to see me everyday…” She began, “I’m sorry that I’m hanging out with the guys and they don’t get why you feel the way you do. I’m sorry that at some point you had to love someone like me—“ She began crying silent tears still not looking over at John.

“Jamison—“

“And sometimes I really just wonder if we never met, would you be happier? You probably would. I kind of wish that—” Jamison shook her head. She thought back to St. Patrick’s Day when John had told Jamison he hated her and she felt her heart sink. “It’s weird—it was one thing that changed everything… you were in my life one day and then you weren’t in it anymore. And I miss you being in my life. I mean we’re here together now but we’re strangers and I understand and get it… but I just it’s hard for me to know we’re not even friends anymore.”

John felt guilty and sad hearing Jamison’s words, he knew his pride was getting in the way of so many things for her. She was always walking on eggshells because of him and for him on this tour.

“Jamison…” John said, mustering up everything inside of him to let his pride down for a moment. “I hope you know one thing… I am so proud of you and how far you’ve come with all this. I am so proud of you.”

“Are you happy John?” She asked, finally looking over at him.

“I’m pretty happy.”

“That’s all I want for you.” She said, sounding completely genuine as gave him a weak smile. “In my own selfish way, it’s good to know you’re happy.”

“Jamison—“

Just then the elevator began going down again and the doors opened to the lobby and Paul greeting them with a relieved look on his face.”

“Thank god you guys are okay.” Paul said, as the two quickly got up from the floor.

“I had a moment where I wasn’t sure about that…” Jamison joked, wiping her face hoping no one noticed her tear soaked eyes were because of what just happened.

The two took a cab to the venue without saying a word about their elevator encounter. They walked backstage for only the first person to greet them being Molly.

“Oh my gosh, thank god you’re okay.” Molly asked, as she quickly embraced John. “I heard what happened. Are you guys okay?” She looked at the two seeming genuinely worried.

“Yeah…” John nodded, more speechless by what happened in the elevator than what happened to it.

“Yeah.” Jamison nodded, “But I gotta do some stuff now with Peter before sound check. I’ll see you guys.” She lied, before quickly walking off.

All this time John had only been thinking about his feelings on tour, he never really thought about how Jamison was really feeling and truth be told, he didn’t really care. But the time they had in the elevator seemed like the most honest and civilized interact they had in years. Instead of walking on eggshells like they had since the moment they saw each other again, John had felt like he wasn’t talking to a stranger anymore— that moment had reminded him Jamison was also human.

That night, The Maine’s set had been one of the best they’d done. The crowd had been amazing, sound was perfect, and everything had gone without a hitch. It was a show for them to remember for years to come.

Then it had been Jamison’s turn, John, Molly, Brendon, Garrett, and Jared watched her from side stage take over the show after The Maine. John intently watched her sing each song with conviction and passion—falling into that spell of sorts he was always in when he listened to her.

“I feel like Beyoncé tonight…” Jamison joked, into her microphone with a sheepish chuckle as the crowd cheered. “Wow, so first off thanks so much for coming out tonight. I hope you’re having a good time so far.”

“I guess they’re not having that much fun.” Jake teased, rousing the crowd and causing them to cheer louder.

“I think you just misheard them Jake.” Jamison teased. “So, it’s a very special night… let’s make this one count. This next song is called “Runaway” and our friend Brendon from Panic! At The Disco will be helping us out with this one.” She introduced, as Brendon ran onto stage causing the crowd to go wild.

After Jamison’s set, Panic! At The Disco had taken the stage and rocked out but not without a small surprise, the first tour prank—The Maine had taken over the video feed during “I Write Sins, Not Tragedies” and played a video they had made of them doing a re-make of the original video, which was basically them in drag doing an interpretive dance while also rolling secret embarrassing footage of Panic!

The show had ended on an ultimate high with everyone smiling and in euphoria of sorts as well as everyone embracing each other happily and riding the high of the night.

“That was one for the books…” Pete shouted, as he hugged Jamison.

“It was.” She chuckled, embracing his sweaty body.

“Alright, after party tonight we’re all drinking and partying then waking up drunk the next morning till we repeat it.” Brendon announced, as everyone cheered.

“Yes sir.” Garrett said, with a mock salute.

“We all better see you guys in an hour. We’ll have cars ready.” Pete said, before walking off to his dressing room.

After going back to the hotel and getting dressed and ready for the after party the Fall Out Boy camp was hosting. Jamison and everyone from her band and crew walked into the nightclub that was rented for the night to see they were the last to arrive. Everyone but Jamison and Jake went to grab a drink while the two were heading to save a table, but not before being stopped by Molly and John.

“Congratulations, you guys did amazing tonight.” Molly said, embracing Jamison then Jake.

“Thank you.” Jamison said, politely.

“You did great.” John said, giving Jamison a lazy smile before embracing her and catching Jamison completely off guard with his gesture.

“Thanks.” She said, giving him a weak smile. “I’m going to celebrate by getting myself a drink. I think I deserve one. You two enjoy yourselves.” She looked at the two giving them a final smile before walking to the bar to order a stiff drink.

“Did I see John hug you?” Jared asked, walking up next to Jamison wondering if she was already drunk. “Willingly, I might add.” He said, looking at John who was at a table with Molly doing some PDA.

“If you saw it then I guess it actually did happen.” Jamison said, letting out a speechless laugh before thanking the bartender and downing her drink.

“What exactly happened in that elevator?”

“Honestly, I have no idea either…”