Status: This is a work in progress ... Enjoy :p
Maybe We're Just Having Too Much Fun
So What If I Can't Forget You?
*Mike's P.O.V*
It's been over a week since I'd gotten myself arrested because of that bar fight and I still haven't talked to Vic. I have been staying with friends and haven't been back to our apartment since that night. I couldn't bring myself to face him after what I'd said in the car. I never should have said it, no matter how angry I was at his statement. That's my brother, the only person that has ever loved me unconditionally no matter how bad I fucked up. I guess I just pushed him to his limit that night , he has finally had enough. He obviously doesn't want to work it out since he hasn't called and I'm too ashamed to attempt to call him. Something tells me he wouldn't answer anyway.
The sad thing is he was right. I do have a drinking problem. But I haven't stopped. That hole I'd felt while with Stephanie is still there and with each day it grows wider. The alcohol is the only thing that stops the pain. It feels like someone is draining all my energy when sober. I can't take it, so I drink my problems away. Thats all I'll ever do. When will I ever grow up and be a fucking man?! This is getting fucking ridiculous! But see here is where I become a hypocrite. I always criticize myself on my behavior but I will never actually do something about it. I can sit here and talk shit to myself till I'm blue in the face but that still won't change the fact that I'm an ass.
Vic was serious when he said they'd canceled the tour. I had broken the hearts of sooo many fans. Yeah I felt bad and it made me feel like even more of an ass but I drank that away too. None of the band is talking to me. They want nothing to do with me now. I'm all alone. I don't know the friends I'm staying with as well as I should because we were on tour so much of the time so they don't know me well enough to help me through this situation. What I need is someone who will tell me to fucking man up and not be such a little bitch. Someone who will give it to me straight and take no bullshit. I feel like the people that care about me are too scared to hurt my feelings to actually push me through this.
It's times like this when I think back to that homeless girl I met in the park , Sadie. I never thought that I'd be so attracted to a girl that has to sleep on a bench, but really in reality yay has nothing to do with how beautiful she is. Sometimes it makes me sad to think that I'd probably never see her again, that she'd probably move to a different state to look for more oppertunities and I'd never have a chance. And this is where I pick up the bottle of whiskey....
I heard the door bang open and my friend Jason busts in with a girl on his arm, my cue to leave. I threw on my leather jacket and decided to take a walk through the park where I'd found Sadie. I knew she wouldn't be there but I just want to rememisce on the time in which she was. I walked with my head down until I heard some guitar playing , it was beautiful. I looked up and there she was. My heart almost stopped beating in my chest. Why am I so attracted to her! I don't even know her.
People walked past and put money in her case. I found myself wishing that I had a thousand dollars in my pocket so I could just throw it in there and help her out. More than that I wish I had the guts to tell her that I like her. All I could do at the moment is stand there as she finished the song. She looked up at me and I smiled at the sight of her brilliant green eyes.
"Sadie?" I say
"Mike?" She smiled
So she remembers my name.
"You remember my name!" I laugh and sit down next to her.
"Ok yeah I do. I know who you are. I mean I know go you really are. I mean- I knew who you were when aoudad Pierce the Veil by I lied cause I didn't want you to think I was just another fangirl and I'm sorry. It was stupid of me , and I'm talking to much sorry." She babbles nervously
I laugh at how cute she was and say, " Hey it's alright. I wouldn't have thought you were creepy anyway. I still think you're an awesome girl. In fact , do you wanna maybe go get something to eat?"
I watch her expression closely , praying to god she'd say yes. When her face lit up in a smile and she nodded I felt like jumping for joy but I kept my cool and stood up , motioning for we to give me her hand. She smiled and placed her hand in mine
"Do you mind if I put my guitar in my car first?" She asks
"You have a car?" I scoff
"Yeah it's where I sleep now" She mummers
"You still haven't found a place?!" I exclaim
"No... "She admits
"Fuck! And I'm not getting along with Vic right now so I can't offer you the room" I say the last part mindlessly
My eyes widen and my hands fly up to cover my mouth. I hadn't meant to say that and usually good at controlling what I say.
"What's going on with you and Vic?" She asks , genuine concern written on her face
"He told me I have a drinking problem and I told him to fuck off. We haven't talked since." I admit
For some reason I felt I could trust her with this information. She let go of my hand as we reached her car. She threw her guitar in the trunk and locked it up
"That sounds bad , do you actually have the drinking problem?" She asks
I nod and look down at my feet , so ashamed of myself for admiring weakness in front of this gorgeous girl. But I couldn't bring myself to lie to her. I tried to push a lie past my teeth but it wouldn't work. The strange feelings that I had for her wouldn't let them through.
"Mikey, I'm so sorry" She gasps and engulfs me in a hug
I was shocked to say the least but also very happy I wrapped my arms around her body and pulled her close , noticing how small she was as her head rested againsty chest, perfect height for snuggle hugs. Mike what are talking about? She isn't yours to snuggle hug. As I was thinking this she pulled away and I cursed myself for letting the moment go to waist.
"It's alright Sadie , i don't have it nearly as bad as you do. You don't have a house , you don't have a place to fucking live." I sigh and run a hand through my hair
" Dont worry abou me Mike , worry about making up with Vic. That's your brother I'm just som random girl you met on the street." She says and frowns at me
Oh Sadie if only you knew you are soo muchore than that to me. I just wish there was some way for me to help you but I don't know what to do. If Vic and I were on good terms than I could have you stay in our house ... But.... Wait is that what I'd have to do? I have to call Vic.
"Listen , Sadie. I think there might be a way to get u's both what we need. I just need to make a phone call do you mind?" I ask
"Of course I don't mind." She says
I walk ahea of her a bit and pull out my phone. I call Vics number , it rings twice and then cuts to voice mail , he's avoiding me... I decided to leave a voicemail.
" Look bro I'm sorry about what I said that night. I've been sorry since I said it. I just didn't know how to turn around and admit that I'm a total fuck up. I have a problem ok? I have a fucking drinking problem but you already know that. Now I'm willing to get some help if you do one thing for me, in fact it isn't even really for me. You see remember how when we got famous we all said we would do anything for our fans non matter what? Well now is the time we prove that we aren't fucking liars... I met a girl , a fan , her name is Sadie and she is homeless. She's run away from home and has no where to stay. I need you to let her stay in the spare bedroom and I'll give up whiskey. I'm serious bro , this goes farther than you and me this goes to a fan. To be honest I have feelings for this girl and I don't quite understand them completely but that's why I'm willing to give up this shit for her. Please give me a call bro , I need you on this and I need you to help me kick this bullshit." I say and hang up the phone
It felt good to admit it all and get it off my chest , and knowing Vic he won't be able to say no to a fan in need. I meant what I said though, if Vic says yes to this I am giving up whiskey , Sadie means that much to me..... I swear to god I have never felt this way before. I took a second to analyze this moment and my emotions when suddenly I realize that the hole is gone and I'm fucking sober.....
It's been over a week since I'd gotten myself arrested because of that bar fight and I still haven't talked to Vic. I have been staying with friends and haven't been back to our apartment since that night. I couldn't bring myself to face him after what I'd said in the car. I never should have said it, no matter how angry I was at his statement. That's my brother, the only person that has ever loved me unconditionally no matter how bad I fucked up. I guess I just pushed him to his limit that night , he has finally had enough. He obviously doesn't want to work it out since he hasn't called and I'm too ashamed to attempt to call him. Something tells me he wouldn't answer anyway.
The sad thing is he was right. I do have a drinking problem. But I haven't stopped. That hole I'd felt while with Stephanie is still there and with each day it grows wider. The alcohol is the only thing that stops the pain. It feels like someone is draining all my energy when sober. I can't take it, so I drink my problems away. Thats all I'll ever do. When will I ever grow up and be a fucking man?! This is getting fucking ridiculous! But see here is where I become a hypocrite. I always criticize myself on my behavior but I will never actually do something about it. I can sit here and talk shit to myself till I'm blue in the face but that still won't change the fact that I'm an ass.
Vic was serious when he said they'd canceled the tour. I had broken the hearts of sooo many fans. Yeah I felt bad and it made me feel like even more of an ass but I drank that away too. None of the band is talking to me. They want nothing to do with me now. I'm all alone. I don't know the friends I'm staying with as well as I should because we were on tour so much of the time so they don't know me well enough to help me through this situation. What I need is someone who will tell me to fucking man up and not be such a little bitch. Someone who will give it to me straight and take no bullshit. I feel like the people that care about me are too scared to hurt my feelings to actually push me through this.
It's times like this when I think back to that homeless girl I met in the park , Sadie. I never thought that I'd be so attracted to a girl that has to sleep on a bench, but really in reality yay has nothing to do with how beautiful she is. Sometimes it makes me sad to think that I'd probably never see her again, that she'd probably move to a different state to look for more oppertunities and I'd never have a chance. And this is where I pick up the bottle of whiskey....
I heard the door bang open and my friend Jason busts in with a girl on his arm, my cue to leave. I threw on my leather jacket and decided to take a walk through the park where I'd found Sadie. I knew she wouldn't be there but I just want to rememisce on the time in which she was. I walked with my head down until I heard some guitar playing , it was beautiful. I looked up and there she was. My heart almost stopped beating in my chest. Why am I so attracted to her! I don't even know her.
People walked past and put money in her case. I found myself wishing that I had a thousand dollars in my pocket so I could just throw it in there and help her out. More than that I wish I had the guts to tell her that I like her. All I could do at the moment is stand there as she finished the song. She looked up at me and I smiled at the sight of her brilliant green eyes.
"Sadie?" I say
"Mike?" She smiled
So she remembers my name.
"You remember my name!" I laugh and sit down next to her.
"Ok yeah I do. I know who you are. I mean I know go you really are. I mean- I knew who you were when aoudad Pierce the Veil by I lied cause I didn't want you to think I was just another fangirl and I'm sorry. It was stupid of me , and I'm talking to much sorry." She babbles nervously
I laugh at how cute she was and say, " Hey it's alright. I wouldn't have thought you were creepy anyway. I still think you're an awesome girl. In fact , do you wanna maybe go get something to eat?"
I watch her expression closely , praying to god she'd say yes. When her face lit up in a smile and she nodded I felt like jumping for joy but I kept my cool and stood up , motioning for we to give me her hand. She smiled and placed her hand in mine
"Do you mind if I put my guitar in my car first?" She asks
"You have a car?" I scoff
"Yeah it's where I sleep now" She mummers
"You still haven't found a place?!" I exclaim
"No... "She admits
"Fuck! And I'm not getting along with Vic right now so I can't offer you the room" I say the last part mindlessly
My eyes widen and my hands fly up to cover my mouth. I hadn't meant to say that and usually good at controlling what I say.
"What's going on with you and Vic?" She asks , genuine concern written on her face
"He told me I have a drinking problem and I told him to fuck off. We haven't talked since." I admit
For some reason I felt I could trust her with this information. She let go of my hand as we reached her car. She threw her guitar in the trunk and locked it up
"That sounds bad , do you actually have the drinking problem?" She asks
I nod and look down at my feet , so ashamed of myself for admiring weakness in front of this gorgeous girl. But I couldn't bring myself to lie to her. I tried to push a lie past my teeth but it wouldn't work. The strange feelings that I had for her wouldn't let them through.
"Mikey, I'm so sorry" She gasps and engulfs me in a hug
I was shocked to say the least but also very happy I wrapped my arms around her body and pulled her close , noticing how small she was as her head rested againsty chest, perfect height for snuggle hugs. Mike what are talking about? She isn't yours to snuggle hug. As I was thinking this she pulled away and I cursed myself for letting the moment go to waist.
"It's alright Sadie , i don't have it nearly as bad as you do. You don't have a house , you don't have a place to fucking live." I sigh and run a hand through my hair
" Dont worry abou me Mike , worry about making up with Vic. That's your brother I'm just som random girl you met on the street." She says and frowns at me
Oh Sadie if only you knew you are soo muchore than that to me. I just wish there was some way for me to help you but I don't know what to do. If Vic and I were on good terms than I could have you stay in our house ... But.... Wait is that what I'd have to do? I have to call Vic.
"Listen , Sadie. I think there might be a way to get u's both what we need. I just need to make a phone call do you mind?" I ask
"Of course I don't mind." She says
I walk ahea of her a bit and pull out my phone. I call Vics number , it rings twice and then cuts to voice mail , he's avoiding me... I decided to leave a voicemail.
" Look bro I'm sorry about what I said that night. I've been sorry since I said it. I just didn't know how to turn around and admit that I'm a total fuck up. I have a problem ok? I have a fucking drinking problem but you already know that. Now I'm willing to get some help if you do one thing for me, in fact it isn't even really for me. You see remember how when we got famous we all said we would do anything for our fans non matter what? Well now is the time we prove that we aren't fucking liars... I met a girl , a fan , her name is Sadie and she is homeless. She's run away from home and has no where to stay. I need you to let her stay in the spare bedroom and I'll give up whiskey. I'm serious bro , this goes farther than you and me this goes to a fan. To be honest I have feelings for this girl and I don't quite understand them completely but that's why I'm willing to give up this shit for her. Please give me a call bro , I need you on this and I need you to help me kick this bullshit." I say and hang up the phone
It felt good to admit it all and get it off my chest , and knowing Vic he won't be able to say no to a fan in need. I meant what I said though, if Vic says yes to this I am giving up whiskey , Sadie means that much to me..... I swear to god I have never felt this way before. I took a second to analyze this moment and my emotions when suddenly I realize that the hole is gone and I'm fucking sober.....