Polyamorous.

When Callen tells me we have to talk, dread automatically fills my gut. I mentally search for a time in the last few days that I could have possibly said or done something wrong to Anaias. I can't find one, but I'm still on edge. What if I make him uneasy? Watching him react that way was terrifying and I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I was completely responsible for his reaction. The way he looked at me and cowered way from me made me feel like a monster, and I wonde if that's how he truly feels when he sees me.

"Was it me? Did I somehow make him upset? Tell me how I can make it better," I plead to my other half.

"Babe," Cal says, cupping my cheeks in his hands. "Calm down, okay? C'mon. Let's sit down."

The time it takes for us to cross the floor to our bed seems like hours for me. That dreadful feeling that my heart has jumped into my throat is still there, and I can feel the stomach acid churning in my stomach. This feeling is so unpleasant that I just want it to go away and never come back. But I know that in order for it to go away, I need Callen to tell me what's wrong and why Ani broke down like that.

"Okay, I admit that, that was pretty scary and by far the worst breakdown I've seen since he's been here," Callen admits and it makes the feelings of uneasiness intensify. "But Que, is wasn't solely because of you. It's not your fault and he said so himself. It's both of us that are the problem. Or rather, the feelings he gets from us."

"I'm confused. Do we scare him? I mean just the other day I could hug him without a problem and today he acts like my touch will burn him alive?! What kind of bullshit is that?!" I holler, somewhat enraged. I get that Ani has issues and we have to work through them, but I'm not sure how much of the scorn I can take.

"Because it will! At least, that's how he feels. Quenton, use your fucking brain and think about it for a minute. What thing do you think Anaias fears the most right now?"

I think hard for a few seconds. He's suffered abuse for many years, mostly of the sexual nature. And if there's one thing in this world that terrifies him most it would probably be something like that. Ani is probably completely and utterly terrified of intimacy, especially if it has good and caring feelings behind it and - "Oh. Oh my God, seriously?" I yelp, eyes wide as I stare back at my lover.

"I'm pretty sure. He uh, he had an erection when I found him. And I may or may not have antagonized the feelings a bit," he smiles sadly, but I wave it off and urge for him to continue. "It didn't seem like he quite understood what he was feeling, just that he burned where I touched him."

I try to take all this in and process it, my mind getting stuck on the fact that the poor had to suffer sexual arousal this way. It has to kill him. "You didn't...," I trail off.

Callen's eyes widen and his hed shakes rapidly, "No! Jesus, no. I couldn't."

I sigh, rubbing my neck awkwardly. "Well, fuck. Do we tell him how we feel? I mean, this is new territory, Cal. I don't know if telling him would be the right thing. What if he doesn't really feel the same? I mean, after all he's a boy and his response was completely natural for a seventeen year old. It doesn't have to mean he thinks of us that way."

"I think we should wait for him to come to us. And if he never does, then it wasn't meant to be. But anyways, I don't think we'll be seeing him again tonight and all this mess has left me exhausted. I say we sleep on it, and hopefully tomorrow will go a bit more smoothly."

I can only nod because it feels as if I am suddenly exhausted as well. There's not much comversation as we ready ourselves for bed, but that's to be expected. Callen is the first to fll asleep and I'm not surprised. However, sleep does not come that easy for me and only after two espisodes of The Big Bang Theory, do I actually close my eyes and drift off to dreamland.

~

The next morning, the spot beside me is empty. I groan, stretching out my limbs. I still feel groggy, having spent the night in a fitful sleep. There's a note on my beside table written in Callen's awful chicken scratch that he calls handwriting. When I've finished reading it, I smile. Apparently he had work and he was leaving me alone with the little prince for a day. The thought alone is a little scary because I've never actually been alone with him for more than a few hours. After yesterday, I'm going to have to be super cautious not to set him off. But then again, there's a chance that he'll hide in his room all day and I'm not sure whether or not I think that's a good or bad idea.

I get out of bed and go about my morning business as usual. Once, I've showered and dressed into some lazy clothes, I make my way downstairs. I brew a pot of coffee and start mking breakfast. I have no idea if Anaias will join me this morning, but I make enough just in case he does. When I've finished cooking, I set the table just like I would any other morning and pour myself a cup of coffee. I stand by by the sink, in front of the window that overlooks our front yard. I'm so lost in my own thoughts that when I turn around, I am shocked to find Anaias standing in the door way with his head bowed. He looks so small, like a scared animal. I don't want him to be scared of me; that is no way to live.

I set my coffee cup down on the counter and say, "Good morning, Ani. I didn't expect you to be up so early after -"

I'm cut off the shock of him running across the kitchen and throwing his arms around me. I don't hesitate to wrap my arms around him in return, leaning down slightly to rest my cheek against the top of his head. His fingers clench the fabric of my t-shirt like he never want's to let go. "I'm sorry," he whispers, "I'm sorry."

Leaning back, I tilt his head up by his chin, staring down into his round eyes with nothing but adoration. "You have nothing to be sorry for, my little prince. I am sorry for whatever I did to make you feel like you couldn't feel safe around me."

"But you are safe. I know that; I can feel it when you touch me."

I smile weakly, still feeling that somehow, someway, I am what makes him uneasy. "But is that the problem? Am I too forward? Do you, do you think that I will hurt you?"

Wide brown eyes get wider, and his full lips part in what seems to be shock. But within seconds, the look is replaced with something I've never seen before. One thin arm unwraps itself from me, and there's a slightly smaller hand sliding into mine. I latch onto it, watching as our fingers lock. The blackette smiles, white teeth biting at a pink bottom lip. I'm entranced by him and my eyes never leave his face; I just watch him as he watches our hands.

"It's inevitable that you will hurt me, Quenton; I'm not dumb. But I'm not blind to the fact that the pain I feel from you or Cal will be different from the pain my dad has brought me."

I stare at him. "Ani, I-"

"I know. You want to tell me that you'll never hurt me, but just like Callen has hurt me, it will happen. And that's okay, because when this," he pauses to lift our hands, squeezing my own with his. "When this happens, I'm safe and I know I'll never experience anything detrimental to my already abused mind. But this is new, and scary, and I'm not sure how I feel about you or Cal and I'm going to freak out from time to time and -"

"Anaias," I whisper, bringing our interlocked hands up to my lips and kising the back of his. "It's okay. You don't need to explain. Callen and I will wait for you to come to us. Whatever you're feeling, we can wait until you're truly ready to face it."

"Th-thank you," he whispers, burying his face in my chest.

"Now c'mon, breakfast is getting cold," I say, leading him over to the table. And the smile I get has to be the most rewarding thing.