Teenage Casanova

Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit.

Kennedy had barely moved from the couch in an entire week.

Overdramatic? Possibly, but she honestly didn’t want to do anything but sulk in her own thoughts. And, most of those thoughts seemed to include the events from the previous week. Sadly, they weren’t the best thoughts.

It was definitely not how she wanted things to go. All she had to do was give in and not lose it. She just had to keep her cool and just be there, with Zayn, for just that one moment. Did she? Of course she didn’t. What are you supposed to do when you’re kissing this amazing guy who you could possibly really like? Well, you definitely don’t pull away right when it’s getting good and run like hell out of there as fast as you can.

Unfortunately, Kennedy must not have gotten that memo.

Because if she would have gotten it she wouldn’t have done exactly what she didn’t want to do. It wasn’t like kissing Zayn was bad; of course it was absolutely amazing. He was so gentle with her, as if he were to put any more pressure into the kiss she might actually shatter to pieces right in her arms. He was so strong at the same time, though. The way he held onto her like if he were to let go she might float away or disappear at any minute.

And the way his lips felt against hers? God, don’t even get her started. He kissed exactly how he was in real life. With so much passion and effectiveness that it could honestly pull your breath away. Not only that, but he tasted even better; possibly like honey. It was sweet, but comforting. Like she felt at home with him. And it was so perfect. More than perfect, really.

She honestly wanted it to last forever so that she would never have to experience another moment in her life without kissing Zayn Malik. And she would have been completely fine with that. There she was, in the arms of this guy that she was really into, and for just that one moment it wasn’t like anything else mattered. Harry didn’t matter and Hannah didn’t matter. This summer not going exactly how she wanted it? It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered other than him.

So, of course, she had to ruin it.

It was like this mass crowd of anxieties and fears came swarming at her and she had no time to react or stop them. She wanted to, she definitely did. She wanted to push them away and just enjoy this moment without thinking too much into things… Yeah, well, that just wasn’t going to happen this time. So as she was filled with all these worries she had pulled away and ran off, ignoring everyone calling her name as she left.

This wouldn’t be a problem, is what she thought. She figured that she would talk to Zayn about it another time; after she calmed down at least. They would get past this and she would explain herself and maybe something would even happen between them. Well, that was the plan. But that was also a week ago and she had been hiding out from him in her hotel room the entire time.

This brings her back to the current situation: laying on the couch and deciding not to move until the trip was over. That would go over well, right? She could continue to hide out and avoid Zayn for that long…right?

She pushed herself off the couch and wandered aimlessly around the apartment. What was she going to do? She knew that if she went to go face Zayn then she might possibly embarrass herself way more than she already has. And, to top it all off, she wasn’t exactly sure he wanted to see her now.

“Please tell me you’ve decided to finally leave the hotel.” Kennedy turned around and watched as Hannah came out of her room looking just as good as she did every day. A part of her was a little envious at how she could look that great every morning while she, herself, was sporting some sweatpants and a holed t-shirt. How were they related again?

“Sorry, no.” Kennedy flopped back down onto the couch and pulled her blanket over her lap. She grabbed her copy of The Great Gatsby and opened it up, going back to where she was previously, even though she’d read it at least a hundred times.

“That’s it, you’re not doing this all summer,” Hannah stormed over to her and snatched the book right out of her hands before tossing it away. “Get up and get dressed. You’re not staying here all day again.”

“Hey!” Kennedy glared as her sister reached down and yanked the blanket right off her lap. “Hannah, stop! I just want to relax and read my book! Is that a crime?”

Hannah huffed out a small laugh and rolled her eyes while balling up the blanket. “For you, it is a crime. I’m not going to let you ruin my summer.”

“Why the hell would me sitting in a hotel room ruin your summer?”

“Because you’re depressing me,” Hannah threw the blanket in the same direction as the book and carried on her way to finish getting ready. “So go outside! Do something! And please take a shower. You stink and you look like crap.”

“Wow, thank you so much.”

Kennedy stayed put though as her thoughts moved from her pestering sister back to the center of all her problems: Zayn. Sweet, amazing, attractive, and perfect Zayn. What was she going to do? This was supposed to such a simple thing. She meets a guy, starts to feel things for said guy, and when things are actually progressing between the two…she freaks. Sounds like some awful teen drama, right? Unfortunately, that was the life of Kennedy Ross at the moment.

The truth was, she was completely scared and she wasn’t exactly sure what to do at this point. She had this guy who had been nothing but kind and sincere and open with her since they met. A guy who seemed to like her too. Zayn was definitely someone she could see herself with if they gave it a chance.

But, just because she could possibly see herself with him, that didn’t stop those fears and anxieties from being a constant visitor in her life at the moment. It had been over a year since she was last in a relationship, or with a boy at all really, and the thought of putting herself out there again? Absolutely terrifying. When everything fell apart last time she never thought she would be able to do this again. And, if she was being honest right now, she wasn’t exactly sure she’d ever be ready.

“I know something that will cheer you up. Harry told me this story about this girl he knew that handcuffed him to a bed and left him there naked for hours! Can you believe that?” Kennedy practically choked on her own breath as she glanced at Hannah with widened eyes.

Dammit, Harry.

“You don’t say?” She bit her lip to hide the smile that wanted to form on her face. It was one of her proudest moments, she’d have to say. She got the upper hand on the green eyed bastard and she wouldn't mind letting that moment replay so that she could just piss him off a bit more.

“I have a date with him tonight so I’m going to go get my hair done. Do you need anything while I’m out?” Kennedy made a face after hearing her sister’s plans. Why couldn’t Hannah just break up with the idiot already? Sure, they had pushed their problems away last week so that Niall could have a good time at his welcome home party, but their truce was now over as far as she’s concerned. And she wanted nothing more than to get him to leave her, and her sister, alone once and for all.

An idea popped into her mind right at that moment and she pulled his phone from her pocket and looked it over. She hadn’t done anything to mess with him since the last text she sent out and she knew that it was time to stop this “relationship” from advancing.

Hey Hannah, it’s Harry. Sorry, but I need to cancel our date. Hope you don’t mind, but I have better people to hang out with. xx – H

She swallowed hard as she stared down at the message. Was she taking it too far now? She looked up at her sister and watched the giddy girl get ready for this “date”. She hated the fact that Hannah was actually liking this guy and she wished more than anything that she hadn’t been pulled into this. But she couldn’t let her sister be with this sleaze.

Kennedy was prepared to hit the send button and hopefully ruin this relationship, but of course Hannah had to come and make her feel guilty.

“You know, Harry is really wonderful, Kenny. I have so much fun with him. More fun than I’ve ever had with anyone.”

Damn. She erased the message quickly and stuck the phone away with a sigh. She couldn’t do this to Hannah. She would have to figure out some other way to ruin Harry, but she knew hurting her sister wasn’t it.

“Hannah, are you sure? This guy seems really off to me. I mean, you sleep with him one night and he disappears for a week without contacting you at all…and then out of the blue he just wants to get together?” The more Kennedy thought over the situation, the more she thought less of the guy, and her sister at that. How could Hannah be so oblivious to this? She was usually so smart when it came to guys, but flash that stupid Harry grin and she’s under his spell.

“You don’t know him like I do, Kenny,” Hannah gushed as she looked like she was caught up in her own thoughts of Harry. Kennedy rolled her eyes. I wish I didn’t know him at all, she thought as Hannah continued on. “He’s really sweet, trust me. He always says nice things about you, okay? So start being nice to my boyfriend.”

Boyfriend. Kennedy groaned lowly just at the thought of her sister using that term about Harry. She was too hooked and Kennedy had to break them up somehow without hurting Hannah too much. But how?

“Alright, I’m headed out.”

“Wait, can I ask you something?” Kennedy pushed any and all thoughts of Harry out of her mind and stared at her sister, a little bewildered.

“Quickly,” she cautioned as she straightened out her shirt and slipped into her shoes.

How do say this. Kennedy took in a huge breath, trying to prepare herself for what she had to say. “I know it’s totally out of my character, because you know me and I’m not really into that many people and all that…but I’m having boy troubles and I don’t know what to do and I just really need my sister’s advice because you’re good at all that stuff and what do I do?!” Her words slurred together as she spoke hurriedly and Hannah just turned and stared at her like she was insane.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. How about you slow down, baby sister? I can barely understand a damn word you’re saying when you talk like that.”

Another groan fell from her lips loudly. She had no idea why she was even talking to Hannah about things like this, because it really wasn’t like her at all. She didn’t ever need help or advice or anything like that. But if she didn’t talk to her sister about this then who was she going to talk to?

“I might be into this guy, okay? And,” she fiddled with her fingers nervously, “and I don’t know what to do. He seems like he likes me too, okay? We have this connection and we had this really amazing kiss last week. But I got freaked out in the middle of it and ran off so I haven’t talked to him since.” Her cheeks flushed bright pink and she looked away, completely embarrassed in herself.

Hannah, on the other hand, was staring at her like she was looking at a completely different person. “Aw, little Kenny has a crush. I think I might cry.”

“Does this look like a joke to you?” She snapped and crossed her arms, sinking back against the couch. Of course Hannah had to go and try and make her own jokes about all of this. Why couldn’t she just have a sister who would give advice and move along? “I’m being serious, okay? Dammit, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything to you.”

“Don’t be like that. Look, I think it’s really sweet that you like someone–”

“Might like someone.” Kennedy corrected.

“If you didn’t already like him then you wouldn’t be asking for my help. Now shut up and listen to me, okay?” Hannah grinned and joined Kennedy on the couch. “You don’t have to be so embarrassed about being into someone, Kenny. To be honest, I’m feeling a little better now that there is someone out there for you. You’re always brooding and being alone so it’s nice to see this side of you again.”

She sighed, knowing that Hannah was right. “I’m just scared, you know? Zayn is a really good guy and a part of me feels like he wouldn’t hurt me…but that doesn’t’ stop me from freaking out. I don’t want to go to that place again, Hannah. He hurt me really bad last year and I don’t want that to happen again.”

Hannah shifted uncomfortably in her seat and frowned, placing her hand on Kennedy’s knee. “Kenny, I know that Riley really hurt you and I am so sorry for that. I really wish I could take that day back,” she squeezed her knee, trying to comfort her a little bit. “But not every guy is him and you can’t go your entire life hiding from everyone. I don’t know Zayn, but I saw the way he looked at you when we met last week and he is crazy about you. I just know it.”

She slapped her knee playfully and pushed herself off the couch, grabbing her bag and heading to the door, leaving Kennedy to think about what she had said. She knew that she couldn’t hide her entire life. One day there would be the one for her and she definitely couldn’t miss out on that. And what if Zayn was that one?

“Hey Hannah?” Kennedy stared at her as she turned around. “Thank you.”

“Good luck, goof. Don’t run from him, okay? He’s super-hot.”

Her heart sank as she flopped back against the couch and was left alone to wallow in her own self-pity. What now? She tried to think about what Hannah had said and whether or not she was right. Was running and hiding from Zayn wrong? Could she really be missing out on something great?

She didn’t even know what inside snapped, but suddenly she was rushing around the hotel, showering and getting ready to go find him. Zayn was a great guy, that she was sure of. And she knew what she had to do. Her stomach did flips as she finished getting ready and pulled her shoes on, trying to figure out what exactly she would say to him. Maybe something along the lines of, “I’m an idiot and I’m sorry I ruined our kiss so please don’t hate me because I think you’re really great.” Well, she could at least spruce up her wording before facing him. The only thing that mattered right then was finding him and talking to him. She couldn’t hide from him any longer and she knew, deep down, that no matter what she ended up wanting they had to talk about what happened and what they were going to do.

She grabbed her room key from the table and headed out the door, pulling it close behind her and turning to head back down the hallway. Well, she didn’t make it too far as she bumped right into someone, causing her to stumble backwards and catch herself quickly. She glanced up and met those stupid green eyes that she definitely didn’t want to see today and silently cursed to herself about how crappy her luck was.

“Well, if it isn’t the new pal,” Kennedy made a face before looking around him and giving Niall a smile. “Hey Niall.”

“Hey.” He pulled his hand up and gave a small wave in return.

“Is your sister here? We have a date or something.” Harry grumbled as he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall with little patience. Kennedy couldn’t help but notice that something was off about him today, and she honestly wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear about his troubles. Actually, scratch that, she definitely didn’t want to hear about his troubles ever.

“Oh, you’re still dating my sister? I’m sorry, I thought all of that ended after you called her a slut, Harry.” She already had her own problems to deal with and she was definitely not up to dealing with his bullshit today.

“Jealous because I’m not dating you? Just say the word, baby, and you and I can go do some things. I’ll be up to anything you want.”

“Oh, really? Can we go throw you in front of a bus then?” He was definitely not helping his case in trying to impress her, if that’s what he was trying to do. Every time this guy opened his mouth she wanted to throw a fist in his direction. Actually, that didn’t sound too bad at the moment. It might get him to shut up. “If you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.”

“Where are you going?” Harry grabbed her wrist as she started to walk around him and stopped her. “You’re not going to meet up with that guy, are you?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business, Harry. Maybe I am.”

She watched his facial expression change and he was suddenly turning red and pushing her arm away. “What do you even see in that guy? He’s not worth your time.” Kennedy had no idea where any of this was coming. One moment Harry is standing there smirking and pushing her buttons and the next he’s completely furious. “But you know what? Go ahead and run to your little boyfriend! You two seem so crazy about each other!” He didn’t even give her the chance to respond as he stormed the opposite direction, leaving Kennedy and Niall standing there with dumbfounded expressions crossing their faces.

Kennedy glanced at Niall, her face mixed with confusion and a little humor, and she couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at how ridiculous Harry was being for no reason at all.

“What was–”

“He’s completely jealous.” Niall smirked as he motioned towards the elevators for them to walk. She followed behind him, a little confused.

“Why in the world is he jealous? Because of me and Zayn?”

“For that exact reason. See, Harry would never admit it because it would hurt his whole ‘sleeping with chicks, fuck everyone’ image, but he is so taken by you that it’s absolutely mind blowing.” Niall pressed the down button and shook his head, laughing under his breath. “He is so jealous that the two of you kissed last week. He hasn’t shut up about it since and, to be honest, it’s so damn annoying.”

Kennedy couldn’t wrap her mind around what Niall had just said. Harry jealous? But why? Most guys who just want to hook up with a girl would get the hint by now and disappear without another word, but Harry was different. Why would he be jealous and why won’t he just get the idea that Kennedy wants nothing to do with him?

She just wished, more than anything, that he would start realizing his wrong ways and start growing the hell up.

“So, hiding out from Zayn, huh?” Niall pulled Kennedy away from her stressing thoughts and back to the, even more, stressful situation at hand.

She was busted.

She flushed red and rubbed the back of her neck, letting out a nervous laugh. How did he see through her? How did he know? “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Playing dumb might have sounded better in her head, but she should have known that she was a terrible liar.

“Deny it all you want, but I know you are. Zayn knows it too.”

“He does…?” she murmured lowly. Shit.

“He thinks he did something wrong and has really been kicking himself in the butt all week. Not trying to pry into your business, but I think you should at least talk to him about it so he’s not so depressed.”

Well, she could now add guilt to the list of many emotions she was feeling about this entire situation. She was being completely selfish. All week she has only considered her own feelings in this mess and she didn’t even think about how Zayn felt; she left him high and dry in the middle of the water!

The thought of Zayn being upset, for any reason, made her heart sink and she knew that it was now or never. She had to face him no matter what the outcome would end up being.

“I wasn’t meaning to hide, really. It just…happened. I got scared and what do I do best when I’m scared? I hide from the problem.”

“What are you scared of?” Niall prodded as the two made it to the lobby and headed towards the front doors.

Everything, she mused, but decided to just simply put it, “Putting myself out there, basically. Zayn is this great guy, I know…I just don’t know if this is something that I really am ready for.”

“I’m not going to tell you what to do, okay? We don’t really know each other, but I do know Zayn. And if you were to start anything with anyone…he would be the one to do it with, Kennedy.”

“I thought you were Harry’s cheerleader?” She poked fun at him with a smile.

Niall shrugged and made a face. “Harry is my best mate, but he’s a mess. I think you have experience with that.” Kennedy nodded, trying not to think of all the awful things Harry has done since they met. “He’s not a bad guy, okay? Trust me… The Harry that you see here now is not the guy that I know. He’s been through a lot over the past few years and right now he is making a complete fool out of himself with all this bullshit he is pulling.”

“You don’t have to remind me,” she mumbled.

“I just really hope one day you’ll see the real Harry and not this asshole he’s pretending to be. But, back to where I started, I do think you should give Zayn a chance. Unlike Harry, he’s being real with you and isn’t messing around.”

He’s being real with you and isn’t messing around.

She probably couldn’t count on both her hands how many times she’s heard that over the past few years. Everyone was always being “real” with her, but in the end they were only interested in using her to get to Hannah.

She wanted one guy to want her for her…and maybe Zayn could be that guy.

“Speak of the devil,” Niall mumbled, bringing Kennedy away from her thoughts and back to the current situation. She followed Niall’s eyes towards where he was looking and her own fell upon him. Zayn.

He pulled his helmet off his head and hung it on his motorcycle before ruffling his hair and glancing in their direction. His eyes immediately fell upon who he was actually there for.

Kennedy locked eyes with him as her heart sped up rapidly. She was pretty sure that at any moment she would either run away or maybe even faint. It especially started to pound when Zayn broke their intense moment and started to make his way towards the two of them.

Don’t run. Don’t run. Don’t run.

She was almost in panic mode as he neared closer and closer. What was she going to do? This was it. This is the moment where she was supposed to face Zayn about everything that happened. And she prayed, for the love of God, that she wouldn’t mess anything up.

“Kennedy!” Zayn jogged the rest of the way over, a huge smile crossing his face. “I’m glad I caught you. I was just coming to see you.”

“What about me? Am I invisible now?” Niall grumbled, earning a swift glare from Zayn’s end. “Oh, would you look at that? Silly me, I left my…pants in the room. I’ll leave you two alone… Try not to make out too much, okay?” Zayn narrowed his eyes at the blonde laid before Niall chuckled and turned, heading back inside.

And then there were two.

The two stood awkwardly, neither of them daring to say anything. What was there to say? Both of them felt completely uncomfortable about the situation at hand and had no idea what to say. But, the silence was killing them and someone had to start talking soon.

“Look, I just–” The two of them began to speak in unison before they glanced back up at each other and bursting out laughing. She couldn’t help but get caught up in how gorgeous Zayn was when he was laughing and that was another thing she could add to the ‘I really need this guy in my life’ list.

“How about we get out of here?” Zayn motioned with his head for the two to start walking and she kind of hesitated a bit, those fears starting to rise slowing inside of her once again. “Come on, I’ll buy you that replacement mango I owe you, blue eyes.”

“You’re quite persuasive.” She giggled slightly before giving in and following him to wherever their path would take them.

To say that things were awkward right then would definitely be an understatement; the silence was absolutely mortifying. It was only giving her a lot more time to rethink everything she would say to him and she really didn’t need any more time to change her thoughts on it.

Zayn, on the other hand, looked just as conflicted as she did. She couldn’t help but glance up at him and watch his face fill with his own confusion. She could only imagine what he could be thinking and wondered if the two were sharing thoughts. She remembered what Niall had said about Zayn thinking he did something wrong and she wondered if he was really upset about what happened. And that only made her even more scared.

“You’re staring.” He looked down at her out of the corner of his eyes before smiling. “Is there something on your mind you want to talk about?”

“No, no.” She spoke quickly and looked away. She wanted nothing more than to look back in his direction, but she could feel his eyes on her and she really wasn’t prepared to be completely embarrassed at the moment.

The silence was setting in around them again and they both knew someone had to stop the madness. Luckily, Zayn took the opportunity as his eyes landed upon something for the two of them to do. “Oh! Look,” he pointed to a small grocery store near where they were. “How about we go in here? Maybe we can stock up on some snacks and pig out?” He looked over at her with suggestive eyes.

“Lead the way.” She started to grin widely, but was soon caught off guard as he reached down and grabbed her hand, possibly without even realizing it, and started pulling her in that direction. Her heart sped up, as it always seemed to do around him, and she felt like she might have a full on freak out soon. But somehow…she was able to push it away. Something about locking fingers with Zayn felt right and, what she needed mostly, safe.

Shopping with Zayn was definitely something she never really pictured. She saw him as a guy who seemed like he would rather order something out rather than go to the store and buy things to cook (probably because he’s made it a bit obvious he can’t cook). But, at the same time, it was probably the most fun she’s had with him.

She found herself sitting in the body of the cart as Zayn pushed her, every now and again speeding up and pretending as if he had lost control of it. She couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed so much in her life, but somehow it was so easy with him. He was like that childhood friend that you grow up with and you have all these fun adventures and moments with and somewhere down the road…something happens and you fall for each other.

“We definitely need these.” Kennedy didn’t even get the chance to see what he was getting as his arm swept across one shelf and items started to tumble one after another right into her lap.

“Zayn! We don’t need these! I don’t even like–” she looked over the items that he had dumped into the cart and threw her head back, laughing loudly, “–Chili powder? Zayn! Stop putting random things in the cart, weirdo!”

“You never know when you’re going to need–” he reached down and laughed at what he picked up, “–pancake mix? Okay, maybe we should put some of this stuff back.”

“Well, maybe we can keep the pancake mix,” Kennedy smiled as she took the box from him. “You never know when you’ll need it.” She teased him slightly and he smiled in return, nodding and agreeing with her.

“I like the way you think.” Zayn leaned it a bit and whispered in her ear before pulling away slightly and locking eyes with her once again. Her breath was staggering as she felt herself subconsciously leaning in closer to him as her heart raced. She wanted this, right? The more she thought about it, the more she was leaning towards the idea of being with Zayn. That had to be the right choice. You can do this…

She couldn’t do this.

She played her sudden movement off as if she was leaning in to point to something as she cleared her throat and said, “Let’s get some chocolate…”

Zayn let out a sigh and pulled away, looking a bit upset. He continued to push the cart and put things back onto the shelves that they passed. She knew something was off about him now and she knew it was because of her. Was this really bothering him? She wanted to ask him about it, maybe to get all of the weirdness between them out of the way…but she couldn’t. Every time she opened her mouth to talk nothing would follow.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. You’re such an idiot!

So she stayed silent for the rest of their shopping trip, both of them did. She hated the confliction between the two of them, but she didn’t know what to do or say. If she opened her mouth, she knew something stupid would come out and probably embarrass her or make the situation even worse than it was.

Thankfully though, after they bought their items and headed back out onto the street, they decided to let the tension ease away and Zayn was leading her past shop after shop, stopping every now and again to look at the things on display outside. It was like nothing had happened back at the grocery store and all that mattered was the fun that they were having messing with the things they passed. Every now and again Zayn would snap a picture on his phone of Kennedy wearing some weird hat or maybe even a funny scarf and they both would end up laughing about it.

And soon enough they found themselves sitting on the curb outside an ice cream shop, watching the people pass and eating their own.

“You know, I don’t say it enough but Barcelona is absolutely beautiful. How long have you lived here?” Kennedy fiddled with the spoon in her cup of ice cream and glanced at him.

“About four years now. After I graduated I wanted to get away and somehow I ended up here and I haven’t left since.” Zayn grinned as he looked down at her. “Why are you and your sister here alone for the summer?”

She huffed out a laugh. “Well, I say they wanted to get rid of us. But, I think that they wanted me to get out of the house and try and have fun since I had a pretty crappy year. Since Hannah is the oldest they kind of put her in charge of the destination and since my uncle owns the hotel we’re staying at this place seemed like the “perfect” destination.” She couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she explained. To her, this place was nice but it just wasn’t always her idea of fun.

“I’m glad you’re here though…but why were you having a bad year?”

“Soooo…” Kennedy was definitely not up to talking about that right now and decided that changing the subject was better than nothing. “What flavor did you get, zap boy?”

He chuckled and shook his head, getting the hint and deciding not to force it out of her. “Well, I got this delicious caramel flavor with some honey drizzled on top. I’m not really into the super sweet things so I usually stick to this. Want to try it?” He scooped some up and held the spoon out to her. She hesitated slightly before cupping her hand over his and tasting it. “Good, huh?”

“Very.” She wiped her mouth and smiled widely, earning a return smile from Zayn.

“You’re so cu–” Zayn stopped himself and turned completely red, obviously embarrassed with whatever he was about to say. “–Crazy. Yeah, you’re crazy.” His words stumbled out of his mouth and he turned away slightly, trying to play it off like he hadn’t said anything stupid. But, Kennedy caught it and she couldn’t help but blush right next to him.

“You’re crazy too,” she beamed as she held out her own spoon towards Zayn. “Want to try mine? I got cake batter.”

“Didn’t you just hear me, weirdo? I said I don’t like sweet things.” But that didn’t stop her from continuing to stick her spoon out with the cheesiest grin on her face. Zayn let out a small sigh before taking her hand in his, leaning in closely and eating the ice cream off her spoon. When he pulled off their faces were inches apart, once again, and they were back in that same position that they were in the store.

Neither of them broke their focus on the other as Kennedy’s heart started to race just like it always did when she was near Zayn. She watched as he moved a little closer and couldn’t help but close her eyes. As much as her mind was telling her to pull away and not let it happen, her heart was actually do it. Just let the moment happen and don’t run this time. And that’s what she decided to follow.

She felt Zayn’s lips ghost over hers, but was surprised when she felt no pressure against them. She had expected the two to be so caught up in another kiss this time, but when she opened her eyes all she saw was a confused Zayn sitting there and looking at her.

“Why don’t I walk back?” He mumbled under his breath as he stood up and went to take their garbage away, leaving Kennedy a bit stunned. It was like a game of cat and mouse with them; someone was either pulling away when the other was wanting it. She had no idea how this whole situation had gotten so messed up, but all she wanted to do was fix it so things could go back to normal. But could that even be done now or was it too far gone to fix?

The walk back to the hotel was filled with boring conversations about the weather and what each of them had planned for tomorrow. Kennedy knew that something was off with Zayn again and she knew that she had to talk about things with him now or she never would.

“Do you want to come in?” It was definitely the first time she had ever asked someone if they wanted to come in with her and she noticed the surprise in Zayn’s expression too. He just nodded in response as she swiped her card through the door and pushed it open.

No, no, no, no NO! The two of them paused and stopped when they saw Hannah and Harry cuddled up on the couch in the living room. Of course this had to happen. Of course he had to be there. Why couldn’t she just catch a break?

The two on the couch noticed their sudden company and Harry quickly shifted their positions and pushed Hannah off of him as he stared at Kennedy and Zayn. “What’s going on?”

“Hannah, I thought you two were going out.” Kennedy gave her a look as if to say ‘get-this-idiot-out-of-here’, but she only received a shrug from Hannah.

“We decided to just stay in and watch a movie. We can move to my room if you guys wanted us to?”

“No.” Both Kennedy and Harry responded to Hannah’s question quickly and they looked at each other. She glared at him before grabbing Zayn’s hand and pulling him along with her to her room and shutting the door behind them.

“Well, that wasn’t awkward.” Zayn laughed as he looked around the room, messing with a few knickknacks on her dresser before plopping down onto her bed and grabbing her stuffed bunny, placing it in his lap. “How cute.”

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, trying to calm her nerves. There was a bigger problem than Harry being here right now and that was the guy she had been avoiding was now sitting on her bed and they were alone. She knew that this was her chance to get everything out in the open with him, but she had no idea where even to start.

She crawled up onto the bed and laid down on her side next to him, glancing anywhere other than laying her eyes on Zayn. Say something! Anything! But what was she going to say? She had made a huge fuss all day about how she had to talk to Zayn and now she had him in a position where they could finally talk…and there was nothing but silence.

“I’ve been trying to figure out what to say all day,” Zayn spoke up, breaking their silence as she stared at him. “I guess I’ve been kicking myself about the whole thing. I shouldn’t have kissed you last week or tried to kiss you, well, twice today.”

“Zayn–”

“No, look… I like you, okay? And I know that we don’t know each other that well, but I can’t help the way I feel. Every time I see you I get this huge, stupid smile on my face and it’s so bizarre to me.” He continued on, surprising Kennedy more and more as he talked.

She couldn’t honestly believe what she was hearing. It was everything she wanted to hear, of course, but it was so shocking at the same time…and yet it wasn’t? Zayn was opening up and getting everything that he felt out on the table and yet she was sitting there bottling it all up still.

No… No, that had to stop.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel like you did something wrong,” she finally interrupted him and he glanced in her direction. When he opened his mouth to respond she shook her head and stuck her finger up, wanting to continue. “I was really happy when you kissed me. It’s what I wanted. And it may not seem like it, but I really liked it.”

“So why did you run? Why have you been avoiding me?”

She sighed and rolled on her back, staring at the ceiling. “I’m scared, okay? I’m afraid of doing this with you. Of kissing you and being with you and anything to do with you, really. I’m not sure what I want. I went through a really bad relationship last year. Riley, that was his name, he meant a lot to me and I really thought I was in love with him, you know? And then he wanted something more with me…sex. And I wasn’t ready for that yet. So I said no and the next thing I knew I was at a party that weekend watching him sleep with Hannah.”

“Your sister?”

“I forgave her eventually. We’re sisters so of course I forgave her. She was drunk and he manipulated her. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt though. I went months without saying anything. Not a single word.” She hated thinking about it more than anything. She felt so betrayed and alone back then that she really never thought she would ever be okay again.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Kennedy.” Zayn placed his hand against her hair and stroked it slowly, sending a few cold chills down her spine. She didn’t pull away though and just smiled at the small gesture that made her feel so good.

“I’m sorry I ran away, but it wasn’t anything you did. I just wanted you to know that… because I really like you, Zayn,” she turned slightly and laid back on her side, facing him. “I think if I got to know you more I could really like you.”

He smiled sweetly, his hair still roaming through her hair. “I think I could really like you too,” he spoke softly, “blue eyes.”

Her stomach did flips and the smile never left her face. She felt so relieved to finally get all of that out in the open and it made her even more relieved that Zayn understood everything she was saying. But there was one matter that still needed to be discussed.

“So, where does this leave us…?”

Zayn sat there, looking as if he were deep in thought, before grinning and looking back down at her. “Friends?”

“Friends.” She let out another relieved huff.

“For now.” She hardly got time to respond to his last comment before he leaned in a little closer, locking eyes with her. “Before we do this whole ‘just friends’ thing…can I kiss you again? Just as a goodbye kind of thing.”

“We’re not saying goodbye, Zayn.” She blushed, feeling a bit more embarrassed. Zayn never ceased to surprise her and she had a feeling that this feeling would be sticking around for a while. “But… of course. I’d like that.”

Zayn’s hand moved down from her hair to her cheek as he reached forward and let his other hand cup her other one. He pulled her in slowly, letting the tension build between them before pushing his lips gently against hers.

And she was in bliss again. Pure bliss. She could taste the caramel from his ice cream on his breath as the two moved to their own rhythm, letting their lips smack against each other’s. Just like before, she didn’t want this moment to end. Kissing Zayn was absolutely amazing and she could do it forever if she wanted to.

She really wanted to.

But, as like every song and every fairytale, everything comes to an end and Zayn pulls away slowly as the two let out almost synchronized breaths. She didn’t know about Zayn, but her heart felt like it was about to beat right out of her own chest. It was the perfect moment for a bittersweet end to something that hadn’t even started. She hoped that one day, maybe even one day soon, they could try for real and do this more often.

Who would have thought that in just one moment everything could change? She knew that it was so cliché to think of, but this was the perfect moment. There they were, sitting there and both of them were wanting more. They were craving each other. But she knew she needed time to figure all of this out. And he was such a gentleman that he understood completely why she was so apprehensive.

And yet that didn’t stop him from wanting more. His hand moved to the small of her back while his free one was gentle and still on her cheek as he pulled her into a hug. When they pulled away from another long and great moment, Kennedy noticed something. Zayn’s eyes were full of something that she hadn’t seen in so long: hope. It was like he was telling her that it was okay to be afraid and that it was okay to not be sure.

“I’m not giving up on you.”

The words seemed to paralyze her as she watched Zayn get up from the bed and walk towards the door. She tried to wrap her mind around everything that had just happened, going between absolutely needing him to being afraid of what might happen next.

“That’s a promise, just so you know.” He didn’t turn back and face her once as he left the room, pulling the door closed behind him and leaving her alone.

She let her hand fly up to her lips and she touched them softly, still feeling that leftover zing from Zayn. My God, she thought as a small smile crept upon her lips. He was something else, that she knew for sure. And he was someone that she was going to try really hard not to run from anymore. Nothing was going to hold her back; not Hannah or Harry, not Riley, and definitely not herself.

Harry, you, or anyone really, are not going to hold me back anymore. I think I’ve found someone I really want to know.