Double D Does Not Mean Damsel in Distress

The white walls beckoned to him, lulling the college intern into a happy sense of familiarity. He tugged at his purple gloves, reveling in the crisp rubber that encased his slender hands. This place was so... clean. Everything shone with stainless steel and white furniture dotted the hallways like spotless snow giving the whole place a feel of winter. It was his first day, and it had been exhilarating to say the least. He'd been ushered about by the head lab assistant, shown this way and that into every section of Stark Industries' massive studio. It was like walking through a dream.

"Hey, uhh, you there!" A voice called to him, starling the poor intern into a fright. He turned quickly, expecting some senior lab-tech to be scolding him for day dreaming. Instead he was face to face with the head of the corporation he idolized.

"Uhh... m-m-m-me?" He stuttered, an annoying habit he'd thought was long gone. He hadn't stuttered since his days in the cul-de-sac. Of course it would return upon meeting Tony Stark himself.

"Yes, you. You look like a … bright...young... man." Tony seemed preoccupied as he looped an arm over the boy's shoulders, in doing so turning him around again and steering him off down the corridor. Edgar found that suddenly, talking at all was too difficult to squeeze past the ridiculous fluttering of excitement and could only stammer something that only slightly resembled 'what, I guess so'. Tony, apparently not really listening, continued to steer him along and took no mind to the obvious confusion.

"I need your help with something. You're the new intern, right? Edgar, just moved here. How are you liking that little studio on 13th?"

"H-how.?"

"Oh, I have my ways." Tony waved it off as though having ways explained why he would have looked into the living accommodations of the student in the first place. "Anyway, as I was saying- you, you sir seem like an intelligent fellow." the billionaire ushered Edgar into an elevator. The stammering increased.

"S-sir! This is-"

"My private elevator, ya. I know. I built it." The man's arm didn't leave Edgar's soulders as he turned them around to face the closing doors. "Right, as I was saying. I need your help with something. Something only you, Edgar – Can I call you Edd? Edgar just seems so... formal."

"Uh... yes?"

"Right, good. So Edd, I have this issue."

The elevator started moving and a slightly bored voice spoke out over the intercom.

"Mr. Stark, is there anywhere in particular you are going or shall we just ride aimlessly?"

"Oh, right. Jarvis, we need floor 219."

Edd blinked. It was all happening so fast. He felt his brain struggling to grasp the entirety of what was going on. Stark wanted him for something. It sounded important. He felt giddy with anticipation, but Tony's flittering attention span was making it difficult to stay as excited.

"M-mr. Stark, is there something you need me for?" He managed to piece together, with minimal stuttering.

"Yes." Was all that was said in response as the doors opened again. Edd stood, blinking in confusion, as the scene before him unrolled. There were four of the most beautiful women the intern had ever laid eyes on. Each was standing equal distance apart on a raised platform in the center of a triangular shaped room. They all wore matching uniforms of short white shorts and a white sports bra. Nothing else. The first was a blonde, her piercing blue eyes called focus set in an ivory face. Next to her was a brunette, her arms were folded under her modest bust. After that was a raven haired beauty, her green eyes smoldering. Then a girl with fiery red hair stood with her head tilted. Each had the same hair style, long with bangs cut to one side, partially covering a left eye.

Stark didn't give the intern more than ten seconds to take in the sight before him before leading him from the elevator and into the room proper. Edd blinked and coughed nervously as they all stood, the two men staring across at the women.

"Now then, to the matter at hand." Tony steered Edgar over to a counter set in the right wall of the triangle and with his free hand gestured to take in five bowls all containing different substances.

"I need you to tell me which one is the most delicious thing you've ever put in your mouth." The joking tone was not lost on Edd but Stark's face portrayed a seriousness that belayed the entire scene.

"W... wait... what?" This was just too much. It was a prank. It had to be. There was some test he was missing from this, some deeper purpose. He had been told that Tony Stark was eccentric but this was just too much.

"You're telling me, you selected me- personally- out of a hundred other interns in this tower, to judge a baking contest between you and the four heads of your bio-division?" His voice squeaked, something else his stupid vocal chords did just to annoy him. It had brought him nothing but grief over the years but right now it just added to his obvious confusion. Tony seemed to actually think about what had just been told to him.

"Well... yes." His tone suggested that he didn't see anything wrong with the current situation. Edd couldn't help himself. He dropped his forehead into one purple-gloved palm.

"Mr. Stark, I was told you were … odd but this really takes the cake."

"Actually that is tiramisu, I believe." The billionaire dipped a finger into one of the five dishes on the counter. Edd glanced at it for a moment between his fingers.

"No. Genoise. Tiramisu is white, not yellow on account of the whole egg being used."

There was a long pause during which Tony just stared, finger still in his mouth. Feeling uncomfortable with the lasting, studious look of his idol, Edd shifted slightly. Tony broke into a huge grin.
"Léa, tu me dois 38 euros." He snapped and pointed at the blonde. She waved her arms at him and spoke in an indignant tone.

"Merde, Stark. Je plaisantais!"

"Je ne plaisante jamais avec quelque chose d'aussi amusant." Tony grinned mischievously. The blonde huffed and folded her arms in a pout. Edgar looked up and frowned at Stark.

"Voulez-vous me dire ce que c'est vraiment?" He spoke quickly, and with more confidence. French was one of his favorite languages. Tony laughed and pointed at the brunette.

"Ha! Und du schuldest mir 80 euro!" Tony's german was slightly better than his french. The brunette simply stuck her tongue out. Edd tapped his foot impatiently.

"Ernsthaft, Stark. Скажите мне, что это действительно о? Soretomo, tada taikutsudesu ka?"

There was an even longer pause as all of the women looked impressed for a moment. Edd took no notice. He was serious about his work. Serious about the internship he'd fought tooth and nail for. Serious about the work he wanted to do. He'd passed up an internship to Wayne Industries for the chance to work for his childhood idol, Tony Stark. Now he was starting to wonder just what kind of man Stark was.

The billionaire playboy split into a grin and slapped Edd on the back.

"I was told you were smart but you've outdone yourself Double D!"

Edd winced at his old nick name more than the stern hand on his shoulder, cursing under his breath at the two who'd given it to him all those years ago.

"You just passed my interview process." The words were almost lost on Edd as he continued muttering. "Congratulations, Edgar, you're my new head of international communications."

"... right." Edd turned, walking back towards the elevator. Tony looked baffled and followed after him quickly.

"Wait, where are you going?" The eccentric businessmen man sounded like a child who was told he couldn't go outside to play. Edd rounded on him.

"I don't appreciate being jerked around, Mr. Stark. I worked really hard to get myself here, and I don't appreciate you mocking me like this."

Baffled turned to just plain stumped.

"But-"

"No! You can't seriously be giving me that position, I'm nothing but an intern- this is my first day for pete's sake!" Edd mentally cursed his squeaky voice but continued on, flailing his arms. "If you have nothing better to do than yank my chain for your amusement I'll be leaving now." He turned on his heel and stamped inside, folding his arms tightly across his chest. "Good day." He barked as the doors closed in the face of a very confused Tony Stark.

The elevator didn't move but Edgar didn't notice. He paced in the small space, muttering to himself – another bad habit of his. After a time the voice of Jarvis came across the intercom.

"Mr. Edd, would you like to be taken to your floor now?"

Edd stopped moving and muttering, pausing mid-step in his agitated pacing.

"... my... floor?" He squeaked, glancing upwards as though addressing the invisible man.

"Yes, sir. International Communications floor 302. Your office is in suite B, your living quarters are suite A. Your labs are located on the floor above that, your staff is currently being informed of your acquisition of the head of department."

Speechless, Edd suddenly felt as though his legs were made of jelly. He sank to his knees, mouth gaping like a fish.

"Or perhaps you would like me to open the doors so you can thank Mr. Stark. He is still unsure of your previous outburst."

Edd nodded dumbly. Well, hopefully Tony was as forgiving as he was crazy.