And So I Know

Brie spent her weekend in her own tiny apartment, sequestered to her couch with a pile of paperback books. When Derick had called her Saturday morning, every fiber of her being yearned to answer, to hear his voice. She found herself reaching for the phone as it rang before sitting on her own hands to keep herself from picking up. When he texted, she grabbed the phone immediately and felt her heart break a little at his thoughtful message.

A couple of hours after they were supposed to meet, he sent another message and she knew she had made the wrong decision. She stared at the little screen and thought about sending a reply, an apology, but nothing seemed right. She had stood him up without a word, without an explanation, and she felt like the worst person in the world.

On Sunday she wallowed in self loathing and took Monday off work. Tuesday, she took a hot shower and headed into work. She had a meeting with Kate late in the day and a ticket to join her and the other girls at the Rangers game that night. She was certain that at minimum Felicia would know what happened Saturday morning. She didn’t know if Kate and Lennon knew but she’d get her answer as soon as she saw Kate.

Surprisingly, the answer was that Kate had no idea. She greeted Brie with a smile and a friendly hug, chattering away about her weekend before they settled into deciding a few last details for the reception. When they finished, Kate invited her to join her for a quick bite to eat before the game. It was a moment that caught her by surprise and she found herself agreeing without thinking out the consequences until Kate said that Felicia and Lennon were meeting her there.

Brie swallowed hard as she followed Kate into the bar near MSG. They made their way through the crowd and she heard Kate exclaim loudly upon spotting her friends. She grabbed Brie’s hand to pull her the rest of the way to the table the other two women had gotten. Lennon stood, hugging Kate and then Brie in greeting. Felicia smiled warmly at Kate and turned a tight, forced smile on Brie as they sat down.

Brie was certain that Felicia did not want to share a table with her, let alone the same airspace so she kept her mouth shut and let the other three carry the conversation around the table. As they finished eating, Lennon leaned forward across the table and looked over at Brie. “Why are you so quiet, girl?”

“Just quiet I guess, listening to you three.”

“Well you are welcome to jump in any time.”

“I don’t really have anything to add though.”

“You could have,” Felicia said. “But what exactly? He’s not good enough for you? He plays hockey so your friends at work, at home, convinced you he’s a toothless moron?” Kate and Lennon looked on in shock as Felicia stared Brie down. “To be honest, I can't believe you even came here tonight. You don’t have any place here, not with us.”

“You’re right,” Brie replied quietly. “I don’t. I shouldn’t have come.” She stood abruptly. “Thank you for inviting me Kate, but I have to go.”

“Brie, wait,” Kate implored her. “What is going on?”

“It’s nothing, Kate,” Brie tried to smile but she felt the tears stinging her eyes and blinked them back. “I’m nothing.”

“That isn’t true,” Lennon said. “You’re wonderful, and Derick likes you and I think you like him too.”

“Derick definitely does not like her,” Felicia spoke up. “Not after Saturday.”

“What happened Saturday?” Kate asked.

“Tell them, Brie,” Felicia answered. “Go ahead.”

She shook her head fiercely. “I made a mistake.” She didn’t bother trying to swipe away the tear that rolled down her cheek. “I made a huge mistake. Excuse me,” she said, grabbing her purse and pushing blindly through the bar. She found the bathroom and locked herself inside, letting the tears that had built up fall.

“What was that?” Lennon demanded as Kate pushed away from the table to follow Brie.

“She stood him up, Len. She made a date with him and never showed up, didn’t call, didn’t text. Excuse me if I’m not feeling very hospitable towards her but Derick showed up at my house looking like a wounded puppy dog after I encouraged him to put himself back out there."

“Why did she stand him up?”

“How in the hell am I supposed to know that?”

“By asking her. Not everyone grew up in this life and we’ve thrown a shit ton at her in two weeks. And when she finds out the guy she likes is not about to have a baby with someone else, he goes away for almost a week. Don’t you think maybe this might just be all a little overwhelming?”

Felicia crossed her arms over chest. “Maybe,” she finally allowed. “She still shouldn’t have stood up Derick though.”

Lennon threw a wad of bills on the table and grabbed Felicia’s hand, pulling her in the direction Kate had gone. "I know you aren't heartless or cruel. I know you love like Brass like a brother, like Jordan, and I know you want him to be happy. So let's fix this and make them both happy."

"And just what makes you think you can fix this?"

"Please. I'm friends with Patrick Kane. I fixed everything for him. Plus, I happen to know that Kate saw Brie for lunch last week on Tuesday and she was asking her questions about how her and Brian make it work."

"What?"

"They had lunch and Brian called so Kate stepped out for a minute. When she came back, Brie asked her about how they met, and the conversation went from there. So between what Kate knows from Brie and what you know from Derick, I'd bet she's scared.”

“Tuesday is when she made her coffee date with Derick.”

“Well sometime between making a date and Saturday morning, things went south. Probably she got in her own head. Can you really blame her? She has no idea what she’s getting into and Kate unwittingly told her every nightmare scenario that exists. Now we are going to talk to her, and tell her that things work out the way they’re supposed to or some other feel good words of wisdom that you only know from years of dealing with hockey players.”

“Fucking hell,” Felicia muttered. She followed Lennon though until they found Kate outside the bathroom.

“She won’t let me in,” Kate said. “What the hell is going on?”

Felicia knocked on the door. “Let us in, Brie. We’re not leaving until you do. And I will absolutely make a scene. I'm pregnant and I can blame it on hormones."

They waited until they heard the click and Kate threw the door open and the three of them squeezed in. Brie looked up at Felicia, her eyes red. “I’m a horrible person, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”

“Why didn’t you show up? That’s all I want hear.”

“I couldn’t do it. I’m not you, or Lennon, or even Kate.”

“You don’t have to be anyone but you,” Lennon reminded her. “Now tell us what’s going on in your head.”

“It’s terrifying,” she admitted quietly. “Road trips, being traded. I have a job here; what happens then?"

"Brie, I didn't tell you those things to scare you," Kate said. "I wouldn't have said anything if I knew you were going to see Derick."

"But it's all things I need to know. I wouldn't know otherwise and how else would I make an informed decision?"

"Don't you think maybe you need to talk to Derick to make a truly informed decision?" Lennon questioned gently.

"The truth is, it isn't always sunshine and rainbows," Felicia spoke up. "Sometimes there are rough patches but you don't make an informed decision. You follow your heart. So if your heart is telling you that you made a mistake, then put this on," she continued, pulling her blue Rangers jersey from her purse, "and let's go cheer for our boys."