They Don't Know About Us
1/1
Louis had been carrying that damn hunter green moleskin notebook for the past two weeks and I’m dying to know what’s in it. I wanted to be respectful and not ask about it until he decided to tell me but it’s been getting harder and harder to do that. I’ve been with the boy for three years and I’ve never known him as the type of person to write and definitely not the type of person to carry around a notebook to write. And yet here he is, carrying around the stupid notebook for weeks.
He left it on the bedside table and it’s taking everything in me not to look in it. I wasn’t that type of person and although my curiosity was killing me I was not going to be the boyfriend that snoops. I ignored the notebook to the best of my abilities and focused on either my phone or the TV until Louis came back from the grocery store. I heard him rummaging around in the kitchen presumably putting things away before he took the stairs two at a time, like he always did. He finally entered the bedroom so I stuck my hands out and made grabbing motions for him to come back to me.
“Oh I didn’t realize I left that here.” he mumbled putting his phone and wallet on top of the notebook.
“Will you tell me what you’ve been writing over the past couple of weeks?”
“Soon, baby, I promise.”
I sighed and nodded, tucking myself into Louis’ side telling myself it will be all worth it, hopefully. I know I shouldn’t worry but I can’t help it, Louis has always been 100% open and honest with me and knowing there was something I don’t know is killing me.
++
“I’ve been working on this for a while now and I finally think it’s ready.” Louis said fiddling with the papers in front of him.
“What is it?” Liam asked before I could.
“A song.”
“Did you write this by yourself?” Zayn asked reading the paper.
“Yeah I did so that explains why it’s so terrible. I had an idea of who could sing what part but we can always rearrange it later. Okay so if we can just sing it roughly that’ll be good. You guys up for it?”
The boys nodded and Niall started playing the guitar. Liam started singing at Louis’ queue and we all followed along. Louis had me sing next and all of us sang the chorus. Only Louis and Niall knew the melodies so we all sounded pretty rough but we’ve been doing this together long enough to get an idea of what the song should sound like. By the end of the chorus I could tell what the song was about and it was taking everything in me not to cry. Louis started singing then, singing to me and I lost it.
“They don’t know how special you are, they don’t know what you’ve done to my heart. They can say anything they want cause they don’t know us.”
I was crying too hard to keep singing but the rest of the guys continued and finished stronger than they started, whether that was because they finally got the melody down or because they realized what it was about, I don’t know. Regardless of that, Louis wrote this song about us, for us and the guys are all singing it with pride made me cry even harder.
Finally they stopped playing and Louis came over and wrapped his arms around me, rocking me back and forth. I could hear Niall set the guitar down and a door open but I couldn’t bring myself to care about where they were going. Not when my boyfriend gave me such a beautiful gift.
“Sh, come on Haz, was it that bad?”
I shook my head, “Don’t joke around Lou, please.” I whispered.
“Alright, alright I’m sorry.”
“Why did you write that?”
“Because I love you.” he answered as if it was the most obvious answer ever. “I just want people to know you’re mine and that I love you so much. We can’t come out, management has made that pretty clear but this song is kind of like our message to the fans; to tell them the rumors are true. I’m tired of hiding, I’m tired of lying and although we can’t completely rebel and come out, we can sing about it.”
“Are you sure about this?” I questioned. “I mean, this is pretty obvious babe.”
“I know but I want to do this. I want to record this song and I want it on the record.”
I took a deep breath, “Okay yeah, I want that too.”
++
“No.”
I knew it would happen but it still hurt. We should be used to it by now, we’ve only been trying to come out or at least drop hints for three years and all we ever hear is no.
“You can’t just dismiss this as if they’re asking to go on a date.” Liam spoke up. “This is a good song. A good song that was written completely by two members of this band, that’s great publicity. If you can’t say yes because you have some vendetta against Louis and Harry at least say yes because you know it’ll give you a shit ton of money.”
“You can’t always treat them like this.” Niall added, “You’ve said no for three years now and we’re all really tired of it. Louis and Harry love each other, they’ve loved each other since the first day they met and you keep thinking it’s a phase but it isn’t. You’re so fucking scared you won’t get your money that you say no to anything we want to do that might cause some sort of controversy and I’m really sick of it.” Niall’s accent was getting thicker which meant he was getting angrier, “Who the fuck cares if we lose money? I’m not going to let my best friends be treated like this anymore. They don’t deserve this and if you won’t let us put this song on the album then I’m done. I won’t stay in band that is being oppressed by blue collar cunts.”
I knew my eyes were as wide as saucers but I couldn’t believe Niall said all of that. I knew he supported us but I didn’t know this much. I didn’t know he could get so angry about this. What also surprised me is when Zayn and Liam spoke up.
“I’m done too. You’re always telling us to ‘be ourselves’ because it’ll get us the most money and yet you’re always painting us the way you want the world to see us. Half the shit you put out there isn’t even true, the people the fans think we are aren’t real and it’s all your fault. Louis and Harry shouldn’t have to hide the fact that they’ve found there soul mate because you just want money and that’s all you care about.”
“I’m sorry you were so focused on getting money that you lost your only income.” Liam followed. “I quit too.”
“Well I guess you don’t have a band anymore. We’re not yours and we don’t have to abide by your rules.” Louis started to say. “So what do you say Harry about coming out of that god forsaken closet?”
I couldn’t help but smile, the thrill of my best friends sticking up for me running through my bones. “I wouldn’t want to do anything more than that. It was getting real cramped in there.”
Louis stood up and held his hand out for me, which I gratefully took and we all walked out of the office. Once we were in the hall I hugged my three best friends as hard as I could, thanking them over and over and over again. What they did in that office was so brave and honestly the nicest thing anyone could ever do for Louis and I. They chose their friendships over their career and that means the world to me and I owe them everything for doing this for us.
We didn’t get far from the building at all before we were all called back into the office and offered a deal to stay quiet. We would have the song recorded, released, and we could sing it live among some other perks. Liam, Niall, and Zayn said it was up to Louis and I so we decided we would go home and talk about it. Although all we want is to be out and be able to hold hands in public and not have to lie all the time, the thought of actually coming out to the world is still terrifying and we decided we would wait just a few more months before coming out. So we called the offices back and agreed to the deal, hoping we made the right decision.
++
Being able to sing that song on stage every night and have my boyfriend and three best friends beside me was the best feeling in the world. The song meant so much to me and I was still so touched that Louis wrote it for me. It didn’t take long for the fans to figure out what it was about and we decided to drop some pretty big hints that basically confirmed everyone’s suspicions. Although it was fun to have a secret and to have one thing just for ourselves, it was even better to share the love I feel with the world and have nothing but good things come back in return.
He left it on the bedside table and it’s taking everything in me not to look in it. I wasn’t that type of person and although my curiosity was killing me I was not going to be the boyfriend that snoops. I ignored the notebook to the best of my abilities and focused on either my phone or the TV until Louis came back from the grocery store. I heard him rummaging around in the kitchen presumably putting things away before he took the stairs two at a time, like he always did. He finally entered the bedroom so I stuck my hands out and made grabbing motions for him to come back to me.
“Oh I didn’t realize I left that here.” he mumbled putting his phone and wallet on top of the notebook.
“Will you tell me what you’ve been writing over the past couple of weeks?”
“Soon, baby, I promise.”
I sighed and nodded, tucking myself into Louis’ side telling myself it will be all worth it, hopefully. I know I shouldn’t worry but I can’t help it, Louis has always been 100% open and honest with me and knowing there was something I don’t know is killing me.
++
“I’ve been working on this for a while now and I finally think it’s ready.” Louis said fiddling with the papers in front of him.
“What is it?” Liam asked before I could.
“A song.”
“Did you write this by yourself?” Zayn asked reading the paper.
“Yeah I did so that explains why it’s so terrible. I had an idea of who could sing what part but we can always rearrange it later. Okay so if we can just sing it roughly that’ll be good. You guys up for it?”
The boys nodded and Niall started playing the guitar. Liam started singing at Louis’ queue and we all followed along. Louis had me sing next and all of us sang the chorus. Only Louis and Niall knew the melodies so we all sounded pretty rough but we’ve been doing this together long enough to get an idea of what the song should sound like. By the end of the chorus I could tell what the song was about and it was taking everything in me not to cry. Louis started singing then, singing to me and I lost it.
“They don’t know how special you are, they don’t know what you’ve done to my heart. They can say anything they want cause they don’t know us.”
I was crying too hard to keep singing but the rest of the guys continued and finished stronger than they started, whether that was because they finally got the melody down or because they realized what it was about, I don’t know. Regardless of that, Louis wrote this song about us, for us and the guys are all singing it with pride made me cry even harder.
Finally they stopped playing and Louis came over and wrapped his arms around me, rocking me back and forth. I could hear Niall set the guitar down and a door open but I couldn’t bring myself to care about where they were going. Not when my boyfriend gave me such a beautiful gift.
“Sh, come on Haz, was it that bad?”
I shook my head, “Don’t joke around Lou, please.” I whispered.
“Alright, alright I’m sorry.”
“Why did you write that?”
“Because I love you.” he answered as if it was the most obvious answer ever. “I just want people to know you’re mine and that I love you so much. We can’t come out, management has made that pretty clear but this song is kind of like our message to the fans; to tell them the rumors are true. I’m tired of hiding, I’m tired of lying and although we can’t completely rebel and come out, we can sing about it.”
“Are you sure about this?” I questioned. “I mean, this is pretty obvious babe.”
“I know but I want to do this. I want to record this song and I want it on the record.”
I took a deep breath, “Okay yeah, I want that too.”
++
“No.”
I knew it would happen but it still hurt. We should be used to it by now, we’ve only been trying to come out or at least drop hints for three years and all we ever hear is no.
“You can’t just dismiss this as if they’re asking to go on a date.” Liam spoke up. “This is a good song. A good song that was written completely by two members of this band, that’s great publicity. If you can’t say yes because you have some vendetta against Louis and Harry at least say yes because you know it’ll give you a shit ton of money.”
“You can’t always treat them like this.” Niall added, “You’ve said no for three years now and we’re all really tired of it. Louis and Harry love each other, they’ve loved each other since the first day they met and you keep thinking it’s a phase but it isn’t. You’re so fucking scared you won’t get your money that you say no to anything we want to do that might cause some sort of controversy and I’m really sick of it.” Niall’s accent was getting thicker which meant he was getting angrier, “Who the fuck cares if we lose money? I’m not going to let my best friends be treated like this anymore. They don’t deserve this and if you won’t let us put this song on the album then I’m done. I won’t stay in band that is being oppressed by blue collar cunts.”
I knew my eyes were as wide as saucers but I couldn’t believe Niall said all of that. I knew he supported us but I didn’t know this much. I didn’t know he could get so angry about this. What also surprised me is when Zayn and Liam spoke up.
“I’m done too. You’re always telling us to ‘be ourselves’ because it’ll get us the most money and yet you’re always painting us the way you want the world to see us. Half the shit you put out there isn’t even true, the people the fans think we are aren’t real and it’s all your fault. Louis and Harry shouldn’t have to hide the fact that they’ve found there soul mate because you just want money and that’s all you care about.”
“I’m sorry you were so focused on getting money that you lost your only income.” Liam followed. “I quit too.”
“Well I guess you don’t have a band anymore. We’re not yours and we don’t have to abide by your rules.” Louis started to say. “So what do you say Harry about coming out of that god forsaken closet?”
I couldn’t help but smile, the thrill of my best friends sticking up for me running through my bones. “I wouldn’t want to do anything more than that. It was getting real cramped in there.”
Louis stood up and held his hand out for me, which I gratefully took and we all walked out of the office. Once we were in the hall I hugged my three best friends as hard as I could, thanking them over and over and over again. What they did in that office was so brave and honestly the nicest thing anyone could ever do for Louis and I. They chose their friendships over their career and that means the world to me and I owe them everything for doing this for us.
We didn’t get far from the building at all before we were all called back into the office and offered a deal to stay quiet. We would have the song recorded, released, and we could sing it live among some other perks. Liam, Niall, and Zayn said it was up to Louis and I so we decided we would go home and talk about it. Although all we want is to be out and be able to hold hands in public and not have to lie all the time, the thought of actually coming out to the world is still terrifying and we decided we would wait just a few more months before coming out. So we called the offices back and agreed to the deal, hoping we made the right decision.
++
Being able to sing that song on stage every night and have my boyfriend and three best friends beside me was the best feeling in the world. The song meant so much to me and I was still so touched that Louis wrote it for me. It didn’t take long for the fans to figure out what it was about and we decided to drop some pretty big hints that basically confirmed everyone’s suspicions. Although it was fun to have a secret and to have one thing just for ourselves, it was even better to share the love I feel with the world and have nothing but good things come back in return.